HELLO EVERYONE,
THE NEW ALBUM IS DONE AND WE ARE WORKING ON ARTWORK RIGHT NOW. THERE IS A JUNE RELEASE PLANNED WITH NO OFFICIAL DATE YET. WE HOPE TO TOUR ALL YEAR AND COME TO EACH AND EVERYONE’S TOWN. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME OVER THE PAST YEAR OR TWO. IT REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. THERE ARE A LOT OF COOL THINGS I WANNA SHOW YOU BUT I HAVE TO DO IT SLOWLY AND THIS LETTER IS JUST THE BEGINNING. THE ALBUM IS CALLED "COMO TE LLAMA" AND HAS 13 SONGS ON IT. IT TOTALS 46 MINUTES AND 30 SECONDS. WE HAVE A FEW TRACKS LEFT OVER FROM THE RECORDING SESSION AND A LIVE AUDIO/VIDEO FROM OUR BOWERY SHOW IN MANHATTAN. THANKS ONCE AGAIN AND I’LL PUT UP NEW PHOTOS, VIDEOS AND SONGS SOON. HAVE A NICE DAY.
LOVE, YOUR FRIEND
ALBERT

today was our first day mixing....we have spent the last 5 weeks recording 16 tracks at elecrtic lady studios....we are at stratosphere studios until december 20 mixing and january 8th we master....everything is going really well and i can't wait to have it done so you all can have a listen...well by for now...signing out,
albert

have a nice day

......BUT NOT FOR LONG.

HI, THIS IS ALBERT
I JUST WANT TO SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO CAME OUT TO SEE ONE OF OUR SHOWS. WITHOUT THE FANS NONE OF OUR 128 SHOWS WOULD HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE. I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE THE PAST 9 MONTHS AND I'M HAPPY TO SAY THAT AT THE END OF OCTOBER WE ARE GOING IN FOR ROUND TWO. THATS RIGHT YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, WE ARE GOING INTO ELECTRIC LADY STUDIOS FOR 5 WEEKS TO RECORD THE SECOND RECORD. A FOLLOW UP TO THE DEBUT "YOURS TO KEEP". WE WILL BE VIDEO TAPING SOME OF THE RECORDING AND SHOWING CLIPS OF IT ON MYSPACE. BEFORE I FORGET I WANT TO THANK THE TWO BANDS THAT TOOK US OUT ON TOUR, INCUBUS AND BLOC PARTY. WELL I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT SUMMER AND FROM ALL OF US TO ALL OF YOU.....GOODNIGHT
LOVE,
ALBERT

The Route du Rock festival was in an old fort in St. Malo, France. There were goats walking around on the battlements. They seemed happy enough until the bands started playing, then they sensibly went grazing as far away as they could. I tried to join them but the security wouldn't let me. All this time I thought the security was to make the backstage area secure when in fact it was to protect the goats. They must make gold cheese or something.

We left St. Malo quickly (not because we wanted to, it was lovely and some people wanted to watch Sonic Youth play) and Phil drove like the devil to get to the next show at the Pukkelpop Festival in Belgium in time. I mean that quite literally; for difficult journeys Phil dons horns, a tail and a trident and reds-up his face then he sits behind the wheel glowering at other drivers. I don't know if it helps but it makes him feel better and it does tend to stop us asking him if we can stop for a wee or some sweets.

When we got to Belgium there was a metal band murdering Satan and all his legions of Demons on a nearby stage – at least that what it sounded like. Phil wisely stayed on his bus. 14 hours after playing 500 miles away in France the band went onstage at Pukkelpop. Sometimes on tour life happens at you quickly.

We hung around at Pukkelpop all day before heading-off towards Dublin. We went through passport control at Calais around 3AM and took a 5am ferry where we met the Interpol crew in the cafeteria and had a good old chat with our friend Harley who does Interpol's and The Stroke's sound. Harley's great and because he was a new face everyone wanted to talk to him. In the end he gave 15 minute audiences to everyone, like the pope, except with my full English breakfast congealing next to him. Espiritu Santo and beans. Whenever you've been on tour for a while seeing a new old friend is like a glass of cool water—or fresh meat, depending upon your levels of bitterness.

We had a day off in Oxford. We parked at a holiday inn at the Peartree Round-a-bout and took showers (one at a time….). Todd and I got the bus into town and I went shopping for CDs and British Comedy DVDs. Todd wandered around by himself for a while, like a Lone Wolf of bass. It was a bit like An American Werewolf in London only it was Oxford and Ta' isn't really a werewolf. But apart from that it was exactly the same. (On a side note: every day Matt has been telling the Story of Ta' in the dressing room before the band go on. It's really good. I always thought Ta' was this quiet bloke who plays in the Dead Trees but apparently not. He is so much more than just a Ta'). At the castle in Oxford it said the Danes ransacked the Saxon town in 1009 – I know how they felt. All this pillaging must be in the blood. I ran into Matt and Jamie--they were looking to buy phones and I'd been buying British girl-pop to listen to in my bunk (everyone needs a hobby). We went for an Italian meal. It took about a week and a half from soup to nuts. Afterwards Albert and Matt went to see Harry Potter and the new Bourne movie., Jamie, Marc, Todd & Steve went to see The Simpsons' Movie. I sat in the empty hotel room watching the evil genius of Nighty Night on DVD. It was a very Sunday kind of day.

Dublin was a good show. Because there's a no-smoking policy in Ireland now (Yay!) everyone sneakily smoked in the dressing room. I had to go sit in the corridor outside--not because of the smoke but because no one really likes me. The band warmed-up by singing Beatles songs backstage with the wrong words. Dublin was the last night in a hotel for us on this tour so we all made the most of it and stayed as late as we could in our rooms. There were a lot of fast food places near the hotel too so when everyone did get up they feasted on fried breakfasts in the hotel lobby before leaving for Galway.

Galway is a pretty town on the west coast of Ireland. We had the luck of the Irish by getting good weather. The venue was a tiny pub next to the river and we blocked traffic with our big gold bus while we unloaded our gear. Strangely the dressing room was next door to the pub in a three-bedroomed flat that the pub owned. I settled in to do some work while Marc took everyone on tours of the flat trying to sell it to them. Matt, Jamie and Steve watched the Simpsons for a bit. Albert went back to bed and took a nap. I went for a sneaky walk around the quayside at sundown, It's a gorgeous place.

The show was hot and sweaty and cramped. Someone nicked all of Brian's spare strings. It seems the world is full of thieving pikey bastids. Oh well. There was an elderly gentleman dancing next to the stage all night. It was "His spot" and he kept offering to buy me drinks. At first I thought it was cute but when I saw him trying to hit on college-aged girls after the show (he did offer to help with the load-out, to his credit) I thought him less a kindly, avuncular old codger and more a sly old fox. It takes one to know one…..

When we loaded out nearly everyone got fish and chips from Vinnie's chip shop. I saw some kids selling after-hours cans of lager to younger kids on the street from a plastic bag and a couple trying to cycle home who were so drunk they couldn't open their bike locks for the longest time. It was a Tuesday night and it felt like a Saturday. They live large in Galway. We parked the bus in the quietest spot in town before we left, next to the police station.

Let us not talk about the Belfast festival. Apparently one needs to sell 20000 tickets to the Belfast festival before one is treated with professional courtesy. Or at least that's what the production manager told us. It was an inauspicious start to the day as I'd been looking forward to the band playing Belfast again as shows there are always great.

We drove to London overnight to tape a session for The Basement in Covent Garden with Nigel Godrich. Even with an early call (Super Furry Animals couldn't make their spot and we took it to be finished earlier) everyone was excited to play. Once we got into the studio it went really well and the band recorded six songs live to tape / camera. Not sure when it's being broadcast. We got a surprise afternoon off in London so me, Albert, Matt & Jamie quickly booked hotel rooms and basked in hot running water and personal space. Albert went to record some guitar for a Rock Against Racism project. Steve gave himself a third eye stumbling around the West End late at night. Jamie went looking for food on Queensway. Todd went sightseeing and Marc was, as ever, an enigma. We don't ever know what he does and with whom. If you do, please tell us, it's driving us crazy.


The next day we drove to the Dreading Festival. I'd heard reports of flooded campsites so I was expecting the worst (I usually do, as a rule). Marc missed breakfast so we were rushing against his lowering blood sugar level before he turned. Phil, still wearing his trident / satan get-up, drove the bus down a selection of very well-to-do, very narrow country roads to get to the festival. They were very pretty. We nearly beached the bus on a hump-backed bridge. It was a pretty place to get stuck.

The festival site wasn't so muddy and better yet our artist liaison person was on our side (this isn't always so, strangely…). We hung around a lot, ate in artist catering, collectively and individually wondered why people endure the crappy festival conditions, and then, as suddenly as always, it was time to go onstage. An hour and a half later and we were all done and Albert was up a tree being interviewed live on BBC 2. And no, that's not a figure of speech.

At 3AM we drove to Leeds. The best part about the Leeds festival for me was the service area we stopped at on the way in where I bought a ton of Marks and Spencer toffees. All day people were talking to me through mouthfuls of chewy toffee saying, "Are those yours? They're amazing…." Leeds backstage was grim. I won't say more. It's nothing that some money spent on facilities wouldn't cure as the staff were trying their best. The crowd seemed more animated but the festival conditions seemed more hardcore. I found it hard to walk through the crowd without treading on discarded chips or take-away food. Hats off to everyone in the audience who puts up with this to watch the gigs. Most of us went to see Interpol. Beth Ditto has a boss voice. I couldn't physically get into the Enemy's tent when they played (C'mon Cov!) and the Kaiser Chiefs made a surprise appearance on our stage in he afternoon which was exciting – it's good to see people genuinely getting excited by bands and the Kaiser Chiefs played a good set.

After a long drive we arrived in Paris at 2:00pm just in time to start work. I missed the final episode in the story of Ta' which ended with the line, "And the evil witch was sleeping with all of the wizard's friends but not with the wizard." I couldn't help but wonder what this had to do with little Ta. The Rock en Seine festival is in a park next to the Seine. It was a beautiful location and the sun was shining and everything felt alright. . It's good to finish a tour in Paris. Albert's going to try to finish every tour in France because we've all fallen a tiny bit in love with the country--and the catering.

We had to leave right after our set to get back to Gatwick in time for the flight home. It was the way of things that the one festival we wanted to hang out at we couldn't. In the end, because of scheduling issues, we spent less than 16 hours in France. Such a shame

On the ferry Marc remarked, as we sat forlornly around a table in the coffee shop while coach parties of tourists sleep on the couches around us, that it felt like the last scene in a movie. Matt obliged by suddenly garroting him while whispering, "Just when you thought you were safe." We ate breakfasts and wandered around the boat, kind of restless and bored but determined to spend the money we'd taken from Marc's wallet before dumping him into the English Channel. Now that felt like the end of a movie. By 8am we were back at Gatwick Airport checking-in with our 32 pieces of baggage.

Albert's played 128 shows in the past nine months. I don' t think any of us take it for granted that we enjoy privileged lives and are lucky to get to do this. (Now I've said that, I have to go brush my teeth and get into my ooga-booga pajamas while hopping around on one leg like a methed-up muppet as we tear down the motorway. It's harder than it sounds. And brushing one's teeth with sparkling water is just weird). Adieu. Thank you all very much for coming out to the shows. Without you, there's nothing. If a gig happens in a forest and no one hears….y'know? Don't think we don't appreciate it. See you on the next record.

Richard

Scandinavia:

Oslo felt strangely like Manchester in October. Not that there was
anything bad in this per se, but it was strange as we weren't in
Manchester in October. I think it was something to do with us all
waking up late too. I don't think anyone got out of bed much before
2PM, probably because no one went to bed much before 5 am the night
before in Goteborg (and we can firmly blame that on the Eagles of Death Metal). It was overcast too, which it always in Manchester.

Backstage catering was a rich smorgasboard of sweet peppers, burgers
and a huge pile of chocolates (Which everyone ate first, of course
and by everyone I mean me). Marc and Todd threatened to go
paintballing in the building across the street, which confused me at first as it was a church - but then I realised they meant the *other*
building across the street advertising paintballing...that could have
been awkward. Especially if everyone was as dumb as me.

After the show we drove to Copenhagen for a day off. Matt, Jamie, Marc, Steve and Vicente went to the Tivoli to enjoy the rollercoaster and the carousel. Or rather, everyone enjoyed the carousels and
rollercoasters but I think they enjoyed even more Marc NOT enjoying
the rollercoasters and carousels. Outside our hotel near the station
there were many young Danish ladies hanging around. By young I mean younger than me; by ladies, I'm not sure what I mean. They were very chatty though, they spoke to everyone.

We had a baby little party backstage in Copenhagen. Afterwards, when
everyone went drinking at a schmancy hotel, I got locked in the
dressing room by the cleaners when I was taking a shower. I laughed
so hard I bruised my foot kicking the door through. Oh, I laughed and laughed. So did Steve when I told him. He owes me for Liverpool....

Malmo is a lovely town that I always remember for the Winter
Olympics. I have no idea why; I hate sport. Everyone went walkabout
in Malmo, it's very pretty. As it was Matt's birthday we decorated his drum kit with balloons and streamers and we left a little cake
with a candle on his snare for when he went onstage. While he may
have appreciated the gesture I'm not so sure he enjoyed playing a
drumkit decked-out like a mardi gras float. After the show we had a
little cake ceremony and then everyone went to a bar where they hung
out with the local Oscar Wildes. Wit? You've never heard anything
like it. I guess that's why they're still stealing drinks at their
age because no one wants to buy them any.

Aarhus, Denmark. I was happy to be back in Denmark and to play
Aarhus. We never normally get out of Copenhagen or Roskilde when you
get to Denmark. The venue was clean and the staff helpful when we
arrived. It loked to be a perfect day. Even the internet worked
upstairs in a our dressing room so we all set up shop there for the
day and facebooked ourselves to death. Except me, as I don't have any friends, I just know people. At 7PM the venue manager told us it was time for dinner at a nearby restaurant so we all left to go and eat this was a raggle-taggle entourage and we left the venue in dribs and drabs. I went back early to do some work and when I got back to our dressing room I discovered someone had stolen all of our laptops. 6 Macs, an ipod, some cash, Todd's passport.. the venue manager called
the police, who couldn't be bothered to come so I went down to file a report to a cop who didn't want to type all the information into the file.

The venue manager was sure it was a random act of thievery as all his staff were trustworthy. I think it unlikely that someone happened to
pass the venue, try the backstage door, go directly to our room
(ignoring the expensive guitars, support band computers & venue's
computers) take the 6 laptops, leave, all without being seen and
within the only 20 minute window available when we weren't in that
room. But that's just me. I don't believe in Hollywood movie style coincidence. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and sqwuaks like a duck then chances are it's a duck. If I were a Danish policeman who could be bothered to investigate I'd probably ask who knew the room would be empty,? Who knew what was in that room specifically? And who had access to the venue? I'm sure it's a very
short list. So if anyone in Aarhus gets offered a very new looking second-hand Mac on the cheap...

It was a shame, there were some nice people working in Aarhus but after this we looked at everyone as a potential suspect. To be honest, most of us couldn't care less about the machines themselves so much as the photos and personal stuff on them that we can't ever replace.

I bought a new computer in Amsterdam the next day and we replaced
Todd's stolen passport in a couple of hours at the US Consulate in
Amsterdam (Thank you!). That was lucky, if that hadn't happened we
might have had to cancel Ireland and the UK shows. Still, that's the
good thing about touring; every day is a new day and bad times pass
just as surely as the good times do....

thank you richard,
LOVE,
ALBERT

A day off in Lisbon, two days off in Göteborg (or southern Spain for Albert,
Matt & Jamie). We're nothing if not well-rested. None of us have completely
shaken our jet-lag either. Maybe a more rigourous schedule would have forced
the issue? Not to worry, no one's complaining about the time-off. Steve,
Marc and Todd went to the beach at Cascais near Lisbon. Marc's gone blind
apparently.


Sweden was hot when we arrived; surprisingly hot. Who knew? Not us. We
roasted. It was delicious.

Everyone was back together in Goteborg by Thursday evening for the first
time since Benicassim. Even el pequeño bastardo got here from Spain without
his passport (Fed-Ex had inexplicably delivered it to Shanghai…). We wept,
we spooned, we remembered the money we'd loaned each other. Someone gave me
a cab receipt from New York to reimburse. It was a special moment.


The Göteborg show was good; all the audience knew the words (Sometimes
better than Albert). Steve threw grapes recklessly around the stage but
asked for them back afterwards. Crazy, crazy nights. This is what Kiss were
all about: grapes, amnesia….



We stayed late in Göteborg, standing around in the wet grass backstage. Matt
hung out with Bobby Gillespie, Albert said hello to The Pogues, everyone
hung out with our old friends the Eagles of Death Metal. It was excellent
seeing the Eagles again, they're more fun that a trouser leg full of eels.
Onstage Jesse has morphed into a Southern Minister of love. He also bought a
rocking new bicycle in Oslo that everyone admired backstage, it was like the
day after a seven year old's birthday, the way we were all checking out the
flaming paintwork and the spoke reflectors. Matt stalked B.O.C. while I
asked if I could join the band. B.O.C. told me I could maybe play
tambourine, but only if I was a woman. I'm starting a course of tablets and
seeing a specialist on Monday. Does this tambourine make my bum look big?



Overnight from Göteborg to Oslo. We all went to bed late and woke up later.
Oslo was overcast like Manchester, I tried walking around but never got very
far. In the venue we enjoyed a ripe and pungent smorgasboard of deli foods
and deviled eggs and sang Twisted Sister songs. Matt confessed he wanted
milk in the middle of the afternoon. We had to call a family meeting; this a
rock and roll tour, damn it! You don't just start drinking milk willy-nilly;
that's a slippery slope. What are we-—Hanson? Todd had an unenthusiastic
shower, even though Matt and Jamie offered to join him to cheer him up.
Jamie became unenthused about Matt's I-phone because you can't use them to
I-chat with. Marc hasn't been seen since wandering off with a blond-haired,
mountain-climbing Norwegian hottie called Magnus…


Milk, sexual inertia, unenthused gadgeting……I hope this isn't the beginning
of a downwards spiral; we've only done two shows…..

Lisbon:

I meant to update the diary about the last few dates on the last leg when I
got home, but by then I was lying on couch in Manhattan and the South of
France seemed a long way away and couch is such a needy mistress. I can tell
you that we had a day off in Dijon on our way from Münich to Angouleme. That
was lovely – although I was surprised that both my meals that day came with
mustardy-type sauces. It seemed to overstate the case a little. Amazing food
though, and lovely people. Everyone got on the bus looking that bit more
human.



The next day we played a festival in Angouleme which was beezer. Matt went
walking in the woods after soundcheck with Jamie and Steve and a bottle of
chilled Rosé – we're nothing if not romantic on this tour.



The highlight for me was the show in Nimes with The Arcade Fire and the
Arctic Monkeys. Aside from it being great for all those bands to be on the
same bill and for enough of the assorted touring parties to be friends, the
venue itself was worth a visit alone. Nimes Arena is an old Roman Colosseum.
We cambered all over it all day and then when the band played I clambered
all over it taking photo's of them. Matt said he felt weird playing where so
many people had died for entertainment. Marc misunderstood and said that
surely not all the support bands had gone down so badly. Albert said "Off
with his head!" For the record: French Festivals have the best catering
ever. Don't ever get into a food fight with a Frenchman – he'll win.



So now we're back in Europe – Lisbon today. We flew from Newark on a
completely full flight where Jamie was told by some evil crone that if he
didn't like her brat slapping the back of his seat all the way through the
flight then he should flown first class. Aside from the irony of this being
the kind of thing Jamie would say to someone, in his defense he probably
wouldn't say it to them if he'd been say, randomly slapping the back of
their seat all night on a red-eye flight. Contraception is never a bad idea.
Not when you're stupid and ignorant.



We got to the hotel in Lisbon at noon and we were determined to stay awake
to beat the jet-lag. Then we all woke up around 7PM; so much for that idea.
Steve, Marc and freshly minted Todd went for a nice walk along the
riverfront and ate a romantic meal of meat. Lots of meat. Sizzling, greasy
meat on skewers and shaved into thin slices. I took the subway into the
centre of Lisbon and walked around the Barrio Alto listening to buskers play
Fado. Then I think we all stared at our ceilings all night. Hotels should do
something interesting on their ceilings for people with jet-lag. It felt
like Lost In Translation but in Portuguese.

-Rp

London, land of Laundromats. First thing, off the bus outside of ULU, down
the road past the hotel with the wipe-clean wallpaper (really, I stayed
there with a band once. I've a feeling you can rent rooms by the hour) and
along to the Laundromat to get some clean socks. The importance of clean
socks, like shaving, can never be underestimated to a tour's morale. I
popped across to the supermarket while me socks were washing to buy Matt a
sewing kit (don't' ask) where I heard the maddest man tell the check-out
bloke that his golf bag was full of Carbon Dioxide cylinders but it was okay
as he had qualifications in Chemistry. He was buying a copy of The London
Times and a can of very cheap very strong lager. It was 11:30AM. He said. "I
wish I was mad. I suppose it would be easier if I were mad." He looked
around the store. "My sister would like that, if I was mad." He continued to
no one. "She a psychiatrist."

I bought him his lager for that.



Top gig in London, even if it was sticky as a sock full of mars bars
backstage. Many people went drinking in Soho after the show. You can see
pictures online. They are all dirty stop-outs if you ask me.



We were in Portsmouth the next day. We stopped by the sea-front to wait for
the venue to open for us. Albert, Josh and Peter went to get fish and chips.
They got some for me too, which was kind. They were delicious. We killed a
little time in a sea-front amusement arcade. I won one pound in two-pence
pieces. I was proud for the first hour and told everyone at least twice but
soon the novelty of carrying 2 lbs of copper coins around wore off and I
left my spoils in the dressing room as a gift for the next homeless band.



The Latitude Festival was in Suffolk. While I was advancing the show I
discovered that no one really knows where Suffolk is. The site was very
pretty, it was in the middle of nowhere and was surrounded by trees. There
was a lake behind our tent. Someone was ferrying people across it (it was
about 50 yeards) in a small boat. It would take them five minutes to walk
around. I guess people who go to festivals need to get across lakes really
quickly. In the woods I saw hundreds of spent shotgun cartridges. CSI
Ipswich. It was a beautiful day and it made me happy to be in England in the
summertime. We had fun but trying to round everyone up to get on the bus to
go to the next gig was like trying to pick up a handful of marbles. We
nearly left without Albert, which would have been a tiny bit problematic to
say the least. Although Marc tells me he knows all the words now.



We drove overnight to Cologne Germany. Matt, Albert and Marc got off the bus
on the ferry from Dover to Calais to enjoy the bracing sea air and to be
sure that they wouldn't drown horribly if the ferry sank (although it might
have been nice if they'd woken the rest of us up to give us a warning. Or
maybe they'd calculated how much space there really was in the lifeboats and
weren't waking us up for a reason?). The rest of us slept like livestock.
Sometimes the difference between our bus and a bus full of livestock is only
a matter of our bus having TV's and more straw. When I woke up I knew I was
in Europe because the cars were on the other side of the bus. I turned on my
phone to discover we were in Belgium. My phone tells me things like that.



The hotel people were very nice in Köln. They had Haribo Gummi Bears for
free at reception (Albert recommends freezing gummi bears for maximum flavor
and consistency. He's not wrong).



Matt, Josh, Steve and I went to see the fireworks on the Rhine. Every year
Cologne and Bonn put on a huge firework display for free. We followed the
crowds for the 11:30PM start time, convinced we'd missed it as it was so
late and we'd heard explosions on our way to the river. We became downcast
and were even more so when we couldn't get close to the water because there
were tons of security fences for crowd control. Matt even tried going
through a trattoria to sneak out of the back doors to get past the fences
like the sly old fox that he is, but it didn't work. We hadn't missed the
display but we were under a bridge when the fireworks started and we ran
gailey (no, that is the correct word) until we found a spot with a partial
view (all the good spots with amazing views had been taken since
mid-afternoon). We "ooohed" and "aaahed" along with the rest of Cologne. The
fireworks were spectacular (I still don't understand how they get the
secondary explosions to happen exactly in time to the music). Thank you the
City of Cologne for the lovely free fireworks. I think if you don't like
fireworks then there's a part of you that's a bit dead. Unless you're a
family pet, of course.



We lost Marc on the way to the fireworks which was a shame because we know
he likes them, especially the ones that explode twice – more bang for your
buck. Turns out he spent his night in the gym at the hotel. That's
commitment.



We drove to Schorndorf the next day. Germany is hot, in so many ways, but in
Schondorf it was super hot. The venue was lovely though and best thing was
we all got to do laundry backstage. After the show I went for a run in the
surrounding countryside but it was too dark so then I ran around the city
centre. Later on, when I was sleeping, one of the neighbours called the
police because they heard a woman screaming for her life. Matt woke me up to
get his passport to show to the police as he was being question (CSI
Schorndorf). Turns out the neighbour had heard Marc laughing as he, Albert,
Matt, Peter and Vicente played in the fields down the street behind the
mosque.



The next day in Heidelberg the promoter took us to eat at a restaurant. When
Matt and Albert left (the last ones to leave), they were chased down the
street by a customer who complained they hadn't paid the bill. This wasn't
true but it was quite an undertaking on the customer's part. Not that is was
any of his business, nosey get. When Vicente and I left the restaurant
earlier we ran into Heidelberg's roller skating club as they en-masse skated
along the riverbank. Behind them an ambulance trailed ominously. I thought
they should have been more confident.



Vienna was as hot as a hot place on St. Hot's day. The venue was well hidden
along the riverbank so we drove past it a few times which was a treat for
our driver Phil. I know when I've just driven 450 miles I like to finish it
off with a few laps of the city centre in a giant bus towing a trailer. Our
driver Phil is a star. Patience enough for two; actually I think he got
mine. The Viennese show was hot and steamy. Even outside the club at 2am it
was hot. Everyone hung out in the heat either talking to people on the river
bank or discussing the state of American Healthcare with the club owner at
2AM, as one does...rock and roll.


I woke up in München as Phil squeezed the bus down a street he shouldn't
have been able to. Then I went outside to plead our case to the local
policeman who blarted his siren behind us as we tried to park. He didn't
look super impressed with me. To be fair, it's hard to cut an imposing
figure when you're wearing Ooga Booga Pajamas.

Interview with Matthew Frank Romano

Matthew Frank Romano: Question 1.
Marc Philippe Eskenazi: I'll ask the questions. Matt, this is your interview. Are you ready?
Matt: Yeah
Marc: Are you excited?
Matt: Sighs, you can start taping now, because I'm giving you gold.
Albert Hammond, Jr. (interjects): It's hip to be square
(pause)
Marc: We're about two weeks into the final US tour for this album cycle.
Matt: That's correct
Marc: Would you please tell our readers what your favorite few moments of this tour have been so far?
Matt: My favorite few moments on this tour.
Of THIS tour. Okay, you know, I'm not sure, but I'm absolutely sure they were great moments whatever they might have been. And I'm sure that when they were happening I enjoyed every minute. (pauses) This is the worst interview I've ever had.
Marc: I'm really nervous. I can do better, I'm sure of it. What's been your favorite show on this tour so far?
Matt: Probably LA or maybe last night in Dallas.
Marc: What, to you, makes a good show?
Matt: Extreme heat.
Marc: Of temperature?
Matt: A fresh pair of sticks.
Marc: Of drums?
Matt: Of wood.
Marc: I see.
Matt: An attractive audience.
Marc: Spritually?
Matt: No. Physically.
(Albert starts singing Bob Dylan's classic number "Lay Lady Lay" or, as Dylan probably called it "L Cubed". He was so cool.)
Matt: Ahem. I'm trying to do an interview. What do I have so far? Read it back for me.
Marc: (reading back) "I'm trying to do an interview."
Matt: That's good. Keep that.
Marc: Let me ask you this--
Matt: Alcohol.
Marc: I'm sorry?
Matt: A fresh pair of "shorts of cotton"….a fresh pair of cotton shorts.
And also (pauses)….. That's it.
Marc: You play many drums. But of all those drums which is your favorite?
Matt: I answered that question for you yesterday.
Marc: I'm sorry, sir. I d-d-don't remember.
Matt: Either the oil drum (for monetary value) or the Tymbali, even though I don't play one.
Marc: Is it accurate to say that you conduct an orchestra of tiny drum musicians?
Matt: No, it couldn't be farther from the truth. In fact, do you even have everything I've said so far? Because it's gold. Read it back to me.
Marc: (Reads back interview).
(Silence)
Matt: (Contemplating for a moment, then sharpening with the sharpness of a newly sharpened pencil) I……I…….I am merely a vessel, by which the drums conduct the vessel.
Marc: So YOU are conducted by the DRUMS??
Matt: Yes, and if you get my drumming instructional book, chapter three you'll understand why I'm conducted by something called, "the heat of the moment", which brings us back to your previous question.
Marc: Moving along. This is great stuff. Our readers are gonna love it!!
Matt: I'm going to get a light.
Marc: Oh but…. Okay…
(waiting)
(waiting)
Matt: (Enters) Moving along,
Marc: We recently played on air at CBS studios in Los Angeles, CA on a taping of the "Late Late Show" with Craig Ferguson. In our downtime, you got to take pictures on the set of the show "The Price is Right."
Matt: Yes it was an emotional day for me.
Marc: Why?
Matt: (tearing up) Well, just because of the flood of emotion and nostalgia that came to me in a flood.
Marc: Actual flood?
Matt: More of a "deluge." It could be compared to a Christian going on a trip to Mecca (an Evangelical Christian).
Marc: I see.
Matt: MARC WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of Matt Frank Romano Cont'd.
Matt Romano will return in "Interview with Matt Frank Romano Cont'd".
BEWARE of Matt F. Romano Cont'd.
Watch Out!! Here Comes Matt Cont'd.
Knock Knock. Who's There? MATT. Matt Who? Matt Cont'd. Matt Cont'd WHO? MATT CONT'D ON YOU TO READ THE SECOND HALF OF THIS INTERVIEW WHEN IT ARRIVES. WHEN WILL IT ARRIVE? SSSSSSOOOON Vidal Sa-Soon.