I try harder and harder to fight off the beast but it will not go away. The world seems dark and deserted all around me. It doesn't matter how hard I fight the two headed beast will not die or even subside in the smallest manner. My only weapon I feel comfortable with is my sheild of distance. My sord made of pure bitterness is no match. About time I fight off the head of jealousy the other of distrust sneaks up to bite me. Will I ever win this cold unending battle? Maybe if I only found new weapons to fight of the two headed best. I feel as if it is a war being fought on a straight up slope on a plain as cold as the pits of hell and my feet will not hold.

Please join me in my battle and help me beat the two headed beast made of jealousy and distrust with a sharp tail that only strikes fear. Aid me in the battle by supplying me with the tools of trust for myself and others along with the tool of communication. With these tools and courage to be thyself all thing are possible.

Here I am sitting here thinking of you

You are always on my mind

You say you love me but I don't understand why

I have many fears

I am just afraid that I will ruin everthing with them

Please help me get over those and let my guards down

I love you

But I don't deserve a guy like you

 

Well my Mex has been gone since friday, but I have been talking to a guy for a while. Men never fail to amaze me. You get thinking that they are all assholes and treat people like shit. Then I meet some guys that break the rules. My two best guy friends are exceptions to the asshole rule. Jason is a one woman man and seems to be head over heels for the girl. And then there is Patrick but not sure of his ex's side of the story. But, he seems to be a romantic and has always been a gentleman in front of me. These two just had to ruin my perception of men. Maybe there is still a few good guys out there after all. I love you guys keep up the good work with the women in your lives and as for other men try taking lessons form them.