What’s good guys?

A jack in the box ultimate bacon cheeseburger, sans bun, sandwiched
between 2 tacos. hot sauce and ranch aplenty. go ahead and wrap your
brain's stomach around that one and then TRY to tell me its not an
appropriate answer to this question.

Why is that you guys have a touring bass player and guitarist? Someone in the band not allowed to cross state line perhaps?

Surprisingly no! We don't always, but this last tour we had to
for health reasons. Justin's heart tried to kill him (he got a strep
infection that moved to his heart, kicking immuno-ass and taking names)
and his doctor told him that he needed to play it super safe and super
healthy for a while or he'd die. He figured that jamming himself in an
air conditioner-less van with 7 other dudes living on a diet of cold
Chef Boyardee and warm, sun-ripened beers was probably a no-no.

Ray in the meantime, as of June, has a serious infestation of
"baby" at his house. they say its gonna take him a good 18 years before
its taken care of and the pest is gone. he named it "Alexis", which I
told him was a bad idea cause he'd get all attached, but never listens
to me. with him being all nice to it and loving it as he does, I don’t
see that its ever gonna leave.

What is the best video game system ever produced? Fuck all that new technology, SNES will always be my shit.

You said it yourself my friend. I will completely ruin your
world in Super Mario Cart. I take all challengers. There can be only
one!

Aside from the insane beer bong between two vans going 88MPH, what
is the craziest shit to ever go down inside the Cross Exam van?

Haha, if I remembered, it wouldn’t have been that crazy, would it?

You guys have played some wild shows, what is the most memorable?

I almost typed "see above" but then I remembered a good one....we
played Cedar Falls at this super rad dude "Matt Nasty"'s house. it was
a basement show, they made it a costume party, and it was fucking
awesome. they had all these mattresses and shit all over the walls so
when ya hit the walls moshing and whatnot ya dont get hurt....but they
ripped them all off the walls and just started throwing them and
jumping off of them and shit. I was buried under like three full size
mattresses with a broken mic cable within two songs. Afterwards I
picked Cheetos out of my hair for a half hour. Also, Matt Nasty was
completely naked the entire time. Shit was epic.

What is the best diner/restaurant/dive that you have visited during your time on the road?

This answer is bittersweet. Last summer we went west coast, and
to get there we made an ungodly, horrifying miserable 27 hour straight
drive from Des Moines, Iowa to Reno Nevada. Anyway, so just within
Utah's state lines we needed gas and stopped at this weird like biker
gas station....tiny little hole in the wall type of thing in the middle
of nowhere. Anyway, the lady there asked us what we were doing there
all the way from Missouri and we told her we were in a band and we were
on tour. she got all stoked! Told us she wanted to buy a cd, had all of
us sign it, and told us we could grab whatever we wanted, on the house
(definitely made everyone feel REALLLLLYY bad about all the shoplifted
food that was already lining everyone's pockets, but I digress).
Anyway, we went straight for the beer and nachos, of course. The nachos
were stellar, but after a handful of beers and no effect whatsoever I
became extremely concerned that beer simply did not work on me anymore.
Once we hit Reno we were informed by kids at the show of Utah's asinine
3.2% beer laws (all the beer from gas stations there have dramatically
less alcohol in them than those in the less god-fearing states.) we
ended up throwing the rest of them at people waiting in line outside of
the Gwar show down the street, which we then also snuck into.

What are some bands currently kicking your ass?

Ceremony gets weirder and weirder with every album, and I cannot
get enough of it, band DESTROYS. Also check out Violator from Brazil,
total slayer worship but FASTER. Soooooooooo good.

What is the best food that is a specialty from St. Louis? And when
you come to Philly, you must eat some mega fries. Seasoned fries with
cheese whiz, mozzarella, and bacon, baked to perfection. Also, it may
be hard to find but this place called Little Nicky’s has awesome
sandwiches. For instance the Fat Guta is a buffalo chicken cheesesteak
with mozzarella sticks, blue cheese, and fries (gotta get the curly
jawns though).

St. Louis style pizza is the city's most famous food specialty,
but....and my bandmates are going to call me a heretic for saying
this....St. louis style is dildos. Its just less of everything! paper
thin crust with a thin layer of provel cheese. Being the fat shit that
I am I find this completely unacceptable and worship at the altar of
Chicago style cheese stuffed
holy-fuck-I-can-feel-my-arteries-filling-with-molasses pizza. HOWEVER,
St louis rules everyone else's punk asses with TOASTED RAVIOLIS. take
ravioli, batter it, and deep fry it. in fact, we deep fry everything we
can possibly get our hands on, salute the flag, and thank the lord that
we live in the midwest,. my veins ooze fryer grease.

How did the comic book “Tales From The Keg” come into being?

Our
buddy Jeff "motherfucking" Worm, the greatest and most raddest man to
ever put pen to paper, asked us if it was ok if he did a comic book
based thematically on our band's stuff. We played it all casual and
cool being all like "yeah, sure, I guess, that’s cool man" while in
reality we were shitting ourselves in a veritable orgy of comic book
nerd bliss. Meantime Clint who runs Organized Crime caught wind and
asked us if it was ok if he put it out. We once again were like "yeah,
I mean, I guess" while in reality we were all literally so excited that
we actually achieved the ability to dance on air. So honestly, we had
very little to do with it at all, but are so stoked to exist in comic
book form we still can't even think straight.

When will the next installment of “Tales From The Keg” be out because I cannot wait to read about “The Bluntacolypse.”

We are planning on doing a new comic with everything we release
from now on, or until Jeff gets tired of doing them. I cannot possibly
stress enough how Jeff Worm is the coolest dude ever. Go here:
http://www.myspace.com/jeffworm and bask in his glory.

By the way, why is the blunt in “The Bluntacolypse” white. Is he supposed to be a ghostly blunt that has risen from the ashtray?

Hahahaha, actually it was just the color confines of a black and
white comic, but I like your theory immeasurably better than the real
reason, haha

What are some of your favorite gore, horror, slasher films?

Evil Dead 1 and 2, Army of Darkness, Dead Alive, and the more
recent and criminally overlooked and underrated "Cabin Fever".
Seriously everyone in the world should watch that movie. Its worth it
for all the "Boy Meets World" jokes you get to make alone.

Would you say you are a tits man or an ass man? And if you like
tits, do you like them big and bouncy or a nice, perky handful? If it’s
asses, do you like the ladies draggin’ a wagon or a nice tight rump?

"Swing low, sweet chariots." hahahahahaaaaa

You guys are from St. Louis and it is no secret that you guys love
Budweiser. Well, I’m sure you have heard that Bud was bought by InBev.
Has there been any cutbacks at the St. Louis plants or is it business
as usual?

I have no idea because I hate all current events, politics, news, or
basically anything that does not exist in cartoon form and now that I
got a DVR I can even fast forward through what little news I used to
get from the little local news bumps during commercial breaks. Frankly,
the U.S. could be invaded by aliens and I'd have no idea unless they
animated the news report and played it during adult swim

And speaking of beer, what is your go to 40oz?

Mickey's is law. ALTHOUGH, the beastie boys were right about the
brass monkey. Get Colt 45, drink it down to the top of the label,
refill with orange juice, mix it around a little, and you got a vitamin
c kick that'll leave ya waking up in places you don’t recognize

What is your favorite blunt to roll with; Phillies, Dutchies, White
Owl’s, Game’s, etc,.? Also what flavor do you prefer? I love the
Phillies because that’s what I started with but the peach White Owl’s
are the truth.

Having polled the guys, Phillies won by unanimous landslide, though for
the most part everyone concurred that as long as they got weed in 'em,
aint no one complaining, heh

What does the future hold for Cross Examination?

If history serves as a guide, unending, spiraling debt, vans
that explode constantly, and more of the most fun and raddest fucking
times of our entire lives.

Good looking on doing this fucker. If you have any shout outs, shit to get off your chest, let the shit fly!

Thanks for the interview! Also, I do have something to get off
my chest. Whoever decided its cool to make rappers nowadays sing with
that stupid robot effect on their voice should be shot on sight. and in
conclusion, smoke weed every day!