I have finally started reading a little Nietzsche, an old friend who I had not seen in years lent “Twilight of the idols and the anti-christ” to me. Reading it has made me reflect on a conversation I had with two good friends a little while ago about why we live. One friend lives for passion, everything he does he pursues passionately; everything done to the point of excess. It is a way of life that I have always admired but never really understood. The other friend rises each morning motivated primarily by curiosity. He just needs to know how things will turn out in his life and the lives of those around him. He has seen the dice thrown, and can’t stand not to see how they land. That way of life is even more alien to me. For myself, why do I rise each morning? … I don’t know. The best I have been able to come up with is some vague sense of obligation. “I live therefore I must work, to work I must learn … for now. So I learn” I do not live with passion, or curiosity, or ambition, or even longing. Over the years I have wondered why I bother, but really, I don’t need an answer. Life is better than its absence.

The tie in with Nietzsche is that he seems to follow the first school of thought. I think he would hate me with a deep passion, I would disgust him. Even though I think we would agree on almost every topic. Truth be told, I disgust myself most of the time, when I stop to think. I keep hoping something, or someone will awaken a passion in me, but it never happens. My current path is better than my old one. I do enjoy biological science, but I am passionate about it.

I still have dreams about not being able to find my class in middle school.

OK well this is the oddest bit of vandalism and petty crime that has happened to me at my apartment. When I got up this morning and looked out on my back patio something looked different but I could not figure out what. Then after a while I looked again and realized that my little privacy fence that each apartment has was torn down and laying on the grass. Also I had been keeping a cardboard box full of packing peanuts out on my patio for lack of any better place to put it, and that was gone. I guess someone must have thought there was something good inside and grabbed it, I wish I could have seen the look on their face when they saw they were now the proud owner of a bunch of Styrofoam. 

I had the classic nightmare last night. Going back to school and can't find any of my classes. This time I approached it pretty smarty, I tried looking through my backpack to find my syllabi. The problem is I was so disorganized that I could not find the information. Time ticked by and I was already late. It was very distressing. I don't know how many times I have had that nightmare, I can remember three very distinktly but I know there have been other times.

Well, myspace keeps eating my attempts at writing this blog entry so now I am annoyed at it too. So now the quick version: I lost my job. it sucks. go back to LCC? Work? Both?

Well, even with my job on the line at least I don't have to worry about a McCain/Palin presidency. So that is something :)

keep fighting the good fight Kiddies

Well, my job is now on the line. I am suspended for a day and might be fired. All because I developed the habit of checking my email and a couple of blogs at work. Kind of sucks, kind of doesn't maybe i should go back to LCC and see how many of my old credits still count. I don't think they will fire me right now, they need all the workers they can get for the big move. But I guess it is a time of change so they might just prefer to grab someone new for the chart room. I guess we will see in a couple of days. 

OK, just so everyone knows I work with a bunch of right wing Christians. Luckily they are not militant, but it has led to several political "discussions" this year. One of my coworkers wants me to explain why socialism is a good thing. She equates socialism with "1984". I will do my best to explain why it isn't, but I first feel like I need to get a few disclaimers. One: I am not a political or economic scholar. I know that a lot has been said and written on the subject but I am going mostly with my gut in this. Two: I make less than 20K a year after taxes; that is less than 1/10th of what John McCain says is "middle class". Three: I am a community college drop out. I am not rich, I am not super educated, I am not the "elite" or an "elitist". OK now let's see if I can make any sense.

Let's start with the words, Socialist and Capitalist. Socialist, I believe, shares a root word with Society, and Socialize. Capitalist refers to Capital; that is Money in a busyness lexicon. To me Socialism is about a strong healthy society. It means that even if you are born in the gutter you won't stay there, it also means that no one is born "better" or more valuable than anyone else. I will never understand how poor Capitalists can think that the redistribution of wealth could do anything but benefit them. On average CEOs still make 200-300 times what the average worker makes; do you really think that they earned that? I could see 2-3 times maybe, if their company was doing well. I have often heard it said that it is unfair that the top 2% of tax payers pay 65% of the total tax debt, and yet the top 1% of tax payers have something like 85% of the wealth (full disclosure, I don't know the exact numbers. But they are right within a few percentage points). We are still the richest nation on earth (though might not be for long) but we still have people starving to death in are slums. We still have one of the lowest lifespan of any industrialized nation. And we are one of the unhappiest industrialized nations. A Capitalist says they deserve it because they clearly did not work hard enough; a socialist takes up a collection and tries to help.

I have read several interviews with major capitalists, CEOs of some of the biggest companies before the fall. It is pretty common for them to not see their workers as people; they are resources to be exploited at worst, or cultivated at best. When a capitalist needs to up profits, they don't think about the people they are firing, they think about the investors who want to make more capital. To really know Capitalism you have to look back at the barons of industry around the beginning of the 20th century. Back then socialism was a new idea, there were no regulations and virtually all of the nation's wealth was owned by a handful of men. When people first started organizing into unions and demanding such socialist things as paid sick time, health regulations, and a 40 hour work week the capitalist were not happy. Quite a few early organizers were killed, sometime by government soldiers who were sent to break up picket lines and strikes.

I have read a few letters to the editor lately equating socialist and liberals with fascists of all things. Just to clear up any confusion fascists are ultra right wing, communists are the super left wing. Both have their flaws. Our current system uses both, it is a regulated capitalism. But each time they deregulate we go back a step closer to the "robber barons" of the old west.

So the next time you take a day off, or get time and half for working over time you owe that money to socialism. Be thankful your children don't have to work in the factories for 18 hours a day. The next time you enjoy using a paved road, or have to rely on the police or fire department, be thankful you paid your taxes. Our enemy is not the government, it is corrupt men and women in the government.

How is wanting everyone to be equal "elitist"?

I do not often write about religion or politics, but sometimes I do. My last entry was about religion and this one is about politics. If I start getting any death threats over this stuff, I will know I am on the right track.

I have been asked and so I will answer. I am voting for Obama for a wide range of reasons, I will try to keep things concise and to the point.

First off, I have voted Democratic every election since I reached that special age were the government decided I matter. I do this because the ideals of the Democratic Party are very close to my own ideals. I know that few politicians actually hold to their ideals but at least some of them try. I believe that a government is not inherently evil. I believe that governments exist to protect their citizens from: the powerful few, themselves, and outside powers. It is an irony of our world that by being politicians, they become part of the powerful few they should be protecting us from. Life is full of ironies.

I would still never vote for a Republican. I don't understand how anyone who makes less than 200K a year could. The "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" mindset seems downright cruel to me. The worst thing about Republican politicians is that they always talk about the evils of government but they would never risk losing their own jobs. They get full medical, full dental, a good salary plus bribes, plus the "little" gifts than they don't even have to hide as long as they fill out a couple of forms. At least Democrats are a little less hypocritical. I think the Europeans have the right idea with having lots of little political parties that all need to work together or the government falls apart and a new one is elected. With the collapse of Wall Street everyone is talking about how there is "no accountability for failure" but they have no accountability either. We are stuck with them, and they know it.

I am voting for Obama specifically because:
1: he seems smart, I do not buy into the idea that we should be led by "someone you would want to have a beer with". I want a leader who is of above average intellect and education. (That only makes me an "elitist" if I wanted said leader to only look after the good of those like himself or herself.)
2: he can control his passions. He does not seem like the kind of man who will get us it trouble. It will be some time before our military is back at full strength and readiness. The last thing we need is a hot head in the oval office.
3: he has spent most of his life trying to help people.
4+: then there are the little things, like he is relatively young, has a better command of the English language than most, and is a Democrat.

I would never vote for McCain specifically because:
1: He lies more than most politicians. Whereas Obama takes things out of context, McCain just flat out lies. And even when confronted with the written record, McCain disregards the truth and carries on in his own little world
2: He is a killer, a soldier, a man of war. Even having seen it firsthand he seems eager for others to do likewise. They keep saying "McCain knows how to win wars!" but what war has he won? He knows how to get shot down and imprisoned. That's not a winning strategy.
3: He does not know how to control his passions. He gets angry quickly and easily. He would be easy for our enemies to goad into doing something foolish.
4+: He is old. He does not know how to use Email. I mean how the Hel can we have a president who does not know how to use email? Should he die Palin would take over…and her world view is the antithesis of mine. If she takes over, I would flee the country, it's as simple as that (not that I think there would be any place on earth that would be safe. She is a Christian Ahmadinejad (that's the president of Iran for those who don't know)).