Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 33
Sign: Cancer
City: upwind of the stink
State: NEW JERSEY
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/19/2006
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
|
To celebrate today, August 11th 2009, which is the 40th birthday of the first kitty cat (and only female) cat i lived with, becky, i thought i would write a blog.
I have nothing interesting to write about so ill do a update on my sidework, which is occasionally helping out my former coworker and now independent handyman, Rich.
Once again i found myself in a large house that me and Rich have worked at a few times. THe owner lives in Massachuchetts and this is his old house he wants to rent out. I help rich now and then wehn he does work to fix it up. One time i helped Rich put in a Sidewalk, which you should remember cause i wrote a blog about it and how stupid rich didnt set up the forms so I spent all day doing taht and not playing with concrete. Also that day while digging i found a hole that led underground and it was surrounded by foam baord for some reaosn. When questioniong it over the phone ot the owner, he said there is nothing there and just go over it. I really wanted to dig further and find a corpse. This is why i really think the guy is in the mob or was. He owns way to much and get this , he owns a concrete buisiness. Why would someone who onwns a concrete business have rich and ecxspecially me fix a sidewalk?
One time recently me and rich painted the inside of the garage. This time my job was to help rich move everything out of some rooms so the new people can move in. I do it for free as rich is helping me fix my bathroom with the black mold and crappy sheetrock. I wish i never punched that hole in the wall one drunken night in 2002. The perk of this job is i get to keep anythig i want.
Blistering hot out, at 7:30 at night i showed up and Rich promised it would only take an hour. RIch is always off on time. We putzed around the peoples kitchens making sure the cabinets were empty. I found stuff i would take walking around going "Mine mine mine". Dog food cans and a bag of dry dog food to donate to the shelter, a stainless steel wok, coffee filter s for my roommate, salt, kleenex, pasta, for some reason a can of black olives and a half can of ovaltine (which i never tried in my life and still wont, and it also caused rich to go "why do they call it ovaltine, shouldnt it be circleteen, wait you dont watch sienfeld" to which i replied monotonly "i watch senifeld, im familiar with his works, very good"), golf balls, a shitload of corn on the cob holders still in package, Lava degreaser soap, a neat pen and baked beans. i wasnt allowed ot have the three rolls of bounty towels. We smoked some cigarettes suing there old dishes as an ashtray as is our fashion and went upstairs. There is no airconditioning and it was really hot.
THere was about three desks with shelfs made out of boards, boxes and a king size bed. I started taking stuff and stuffing them into my Neon. I got some neat storage shelfs that are plastic for outside, three matching garbage cans that have that foot pedal for recycling, a party tent in a rolling canvas bag, a desk lamp, a caligraphy set, a clipboard, a tv thats just like my tv but it doesnt have a little scratch that pisses you off during hockey watching, a drop light, and other small junk. I found a crap load of stuff i needed last month like an extension cord.
The heat lamps were tempting but a fire hazard and cats have fried jumping on them. I found a box with books and junk and really contemplated this big book called "making and fixing your own golf clubs" cause who wouldnt want a conversation starter like that. People would be like "hey sirbutlust you fix golf clubs and make your own golf clubs" and i d be like "no". I picked up the book and all the sudden saw it was hiding four baseballs that were shrunk wrapped and autographed. i read them out loud, "don drysdale, mickey mantle, joe dimaggio, and sandy Kofaux.". i contemplated this and then yelled "JACKPOT" to rich who was unscrewing a big metal desk for the past hour. He said the owner said thats one thing hes not letting anyone take . THat was unfortunate, those balls are worth thousands probably. Rich then went into a detailed account of his collectibles and how his "Derek Jeter" balls are really rare and so forth.
Sweating profusly and hearing thunder but no rain which i was hoping for, we were on the home stretch during hour 3 at 9:30. The king sized bed. A king sized bed mattress is big and hard to grab when they have no handles. We bent it in half somehow having to keep it bent using sheer muscle while pulling it throug a door way and down a set of 90 degree angle stairs. It was old and blue and had some sort of rust like stains and seemed really disgusting. Once i pried it from the ceiling and the stairs, it sprung at me and threw me across the room, probably launching its bed ridden germs at me as well. I never want ot talk of it agian.
Disgusting and grimey, i contemplated the Paper shredder but rich said that the guy was keeping that too. I was upset but my Neon was packed to the gills. I just wanted to leave anyway. I smelled, was soaked in sweat, felt the dingyness of the mattress on me, and could still smell the house on me. THe house had a abondoned smell combined with the smell of old people. I got in my car and drove ten miles home hoping a cop wouldnt stop me cause i looked like i robbed a house and they might not buy my story.
Not sure what im going to do with all the stuff. I threw out the bottle of vegtible oil that was half full and kinda melted. most of the food will get donated. I can smell the old people on it. I guess what i learned through all this is that though the owner said we could have anything, it still felt like robbing a house. Kudos to robbers as thats a lot of lifting , expsecially if you have to pack it in a car and not be noticed. The owner is driving down today to go over what stays and what gets chucked and hopefully he doesnt want anythign back htat i took. However word is if i did, he said he knows were to find me.
As for today, i saw my girlfriend for the first time in about a week and a half. SHe went away this weekend. We were going to use our 15 dollars Houlihans coupon tonight but she left it home and thats half an hour away so i'd rather jsut go eat and pay the extra 15 bucks. Food was good and we got home. THere was no roommate, she was at the park with the dogs, it was romantic and then seh went to the bathroom. I noticed a weird car pull up in my parking lot nd heard banging on the door. It was some desheveled lady who was wondering if i had the key for the Dog Kennell downstairs. Apparently one of the new workers told ehr i did. I explained im not affiliated with the kennel, its just my landlord. She explained that she wants her dog back cause of guilt and it was clawing the cage so bad it was bleeding when she left. I explained that they have no one down there from the afternoon till the next morning. She gave me this big speech on how shell get the cops and firedepartemnt to break in or do it with her boyfriend. I said i dont know the vets home phone number. It was fun, people are crazy. THis lady was really crazy. Her boyfreind looked like a pennsylavnia redneck so thats what kept me polite. Its nice wehn people downstairs dont want people to know they arnet there 24/7 so they say the people upstairs such as me are in charge if anything happens, just to fool the people. The stupid customeres should know better no ones there cause they post the hours. I wish my italian tempermental roommate was home cause shes scared the shit out of people hwo show up demanding there dogs be releaesed at non operating hours. So that being said, if you have a dog, and you put it in a kennell, it will most likely be like a jail sentence for it. dogs dont like it but its cheaper than hiring someone to wathc it all the time. ANd if your dog does cause a ruckess and start doing stuff like this ladies dog, they usually just give it a shot that tires it out and sedates it.
Thats the end of my uninteresting blog. happy birthday ot Becky the cat (diseased in january of 1987) a calico that i used as a pillow and had a brown marking on her head that lookied like a donkeys head. I have a picture of me resting my head on her in front of a radiator when i was three. i ll try to find it.
Oh and one more thing, i found a way to make stinkbombs that smell of the foulest rotten eggs but not using eggs. Just like the regular ones but i can offer it in a bottle as large as one of those small gatorade bottles. 10 dollars a bottle. inquire me with your said stinkbomb needs.
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Saturday, August 08, 2009
|
I come to my blog today confused as im positive i wrote a blog last night but its not there. Must have accidently shut myspace while it was in the preview mode and never hit publish blog. I had the perfect fun night planned last night. My girlfreind would come over, we would eat at houlihans with her 15 dollar off coupon, i would get a blue and black burger, maybe some spinach dip and we would go home and drink beer on the deck and maybe play rummikube or something. Then i realized she was going to her sisters. My roommate was blah blah blahing on her cell phone so i got the hell out of there nad went to the bar.
They hadsome band playing crap music. I stood there watching them and glancing at the redsox yankee game everyone was facinated with. I noticed a redsox players last name was Reddick. i giggled and there was no one listening to me about how funny that is. I talked to my buddy pete about my beard im growing. he suggested a conditioner called "horse mane and tail". it s for horses. it makes hair really soft. it was a huge bottle though and i m still using Herbal essances "orchid with a hint of coconut." The cocanut is overpowering and i smell of coconuts. Pete also suggested something called Bagbomb for dry skin. Petes a landscaper but wehn it comes to personal grooming, he is an expert. I told him how i tried that Dead sea salt they sell in mall walkways and how the jewish guy kept rubbing it on my hands and my girlfrineds mom noticed that a few chirstmas's ago and said "i saw mike holding hands with some jew at the mall.".
Anyhow i was having really briliant observations and wanted to remember them . I thought of two genius obsevations while peeing in the bathroom. i told myself to remember them but i forgot. I then asked the owner for a pen and he gave me one. Its one of those black cleartubed pens that are the best pens you can have for cheap disposable ones. He let me keep it, i was so happy. i grabbed a "take out menu" and started writing down observations figuring this will make my drunken blog more interesting and i wont forget stuff. As you can see by my typing , its not a drunken blog, per say but rather a recolection of a drunken night.
The band was really loud. some friends of the band brought in kids to watch. The one two year old boy with his hands over his ears looking like he was about ot cry seemed to be having a great time. The drummer looked like the semi retarded kid that lives in a apartmetn with his mother nad retarded younger brother. the moms a bag lady who wears lots of big afgan like scarves that cover her whole head. The drummer had long sideburns and seemed retarded himself. i dont like bands were all four guys have microphones in front of them. he mentioned something about his wife who was there. His drum set seemed really tiny and had "sto mpen drago n" and a dragon painted on the small bass drum thing. The lead singer had someweird dress up jacket with drawings on it and swayed a lot like elvis when he sang. the other two guys were just regular wierners. THey played cover songs like collective soul or bon jovi, not playing the good songs but the carppy ones. They played that Jimmy eat world song were "everythings going to be allright" i wanted one of the funny songs.
The damn bands friends took up the whole area that you go through to go to the bathroom . i contemplated lifting my short legs and just peeing there but my shorts are in style and the legs are below my knees. SHorts below your knees = difficulty raising them for a quick stand up secret pee. I didnt drink a ton of beers but i do remember being really polite and saying "thank you" all the time and "please " to the bartender. I made sure he noted thisa nd pointed out the other people who dont say thank you.
Eventualy the stupid band wanted to have people dance but they were scared. they were in luck, this guy named Walt showed up. Ive learned that Walt is a guy who got divorsed and became one of those drunks whose life went down the crapper. Walt can sit at the bar in a packed room and the seats around him will be empty. He always used to bug me to play songs on the jukebox for him cause he didnt know how. He'd give me 10 bucs and say "play skinnard or kid rock" and i'd be like "really". once i slipped Static X in there and he knew. I felt bad but was impressed that though he s a mess, he noticed. heres some pictures i took of walt with my cellphone, which oboivously sucks, doesnt have a flash and a very slow shutter speed.
walt dancing
walt eating.
so i gave up and drew a picture. note his bald head, mustache and gray shirt that is plastered to his torso. Note as well his short docker shorts with bony knees and pale skin.
So walt decided to dance. He kinda walked up hunched over with his hands up, like hes sneaking through a wartime trench, occaionally standing up fully with arms up clapping. think its called raising the roof. IT was something and all the regulars and the workers at the bar seemed shocked and worried, yet humored.
Meanwhile a freind of mine had a brilliant idea to talk to a client on the cellphone in the bathroom. The bartender came in and asked how much it cost s for a blowjob and we joked about it. Other people took advantage of this and yelled at the guy on the cellphone or flushed the toilet loud making his buisness call fail. Dont do this. IT also led to another guy getting pissy casue the bartender said the same thing to that guy after i left and that guy cant take a joke about being gay. He stormed out of the bar. hes called angry mark for a reason. His vainty license plate is "angree". He drives over curbs nad flips people off i hear.
The band kept playing cuae they said they would play till the yankee game was over. it went to 15 or so innings in a 0-0 tie till stupid arod hit a homer. Yankees seem to make comebacks anytime i happen to watch them. i have to stop that. I went up to the lead singer who was exhausted and told him how great i thought they were. i asked what the name of his band was. HE told me and pointed to the name on the drum. i said "oh i thought that was the name of your drum set". HIlarious.by now it was 1230 or so and the little kids were finally leaving and the bar started to die so i got a cab. IT was my favorite driver. I ran in to the 7-11 first and got junk food, two pepperoni hot pockets nad andy cap hot frieds. I sat on teh toilet today wondering wehn i will learn. BEfore i entered teh cab, i saw my buddy i see now and then, this black guy. I said "i was wondering, when i talk to you, im always talking about race relations and other black stuff. did you ever notice i refer to anyone i may be speaking about as 'this white guy'? is that odd?" he said he didnt notice. I figure when you talk to black people about someone, you should metnion they are white, expecially if your bad mouthing them so they know its some wiener. I enjoy tlaking to black people or minorities while drinking though its probbaly a bad idea as im not too politically correct and beleive makeing fun of everyone is ok forgetting you cant makef un of people if your a straight white male or its offensive. I also like playing with kitty cats when drunk too.
Speaking of black people, the love Newports or mental cigarettes. Check out this Newport ad i found in my sports illustrated.
heres a list of observations.
1. a black couple vs four whities and they are winning.
2. does this mean the black people smoke newports nad are better at tug rope than the whities who probably smoke marlboros.
3.who the hell makes these ads?
4. i hope the black people arent a couple cause the black guy and the blond chic seem to really be into each other.
5. none of them seem to be really putting any effort into this (muscle motions look gross in ads i guess) but the guy in the back really seems to suck.
6. Seems like the white people are trying to drag the black people into the water, which black people hate just as much as toalking to me while drunk (and cats as well)
7.why arent the smoking newports?
8. seems the chic in the far back is using her boobs to hold the rope.
and none of the guys have boners. Well thats the end of my blog. I covered most of my notes i took and obmitted ones that are superuseless as im now not drunk. theres also about five i have no idea what they mean. as for last nights blog, it dissappeared. i had this last time too, i did that last blog trying to find out my cat and dogs name in german and it took a week to show up for some reaosn. The main point of last nights blog is to say myspace seems to be dying and im scared it will collapse taking my blogs with it. Im offering someone the oppurtuinity to copy and paste all 861 of my blogs into a blog website that has a list of the blogs thats neatly catorgorized so i could find it. i will pay at least two hundred bucks. have a good saterday.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Saturday, August 01, 2009
|
using the myspace translator to find out how to say my dog and cats name as one is stubborn and one is evil (like gollebs or hitler). that is all.
Lucky
Solomon
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Friday, July 31, 2009
|
THat guy who writes for the magizine that printed my drawing of the teenager on a cellphone i did hada great article. He writes about stuff like people who eat fast food and amercias obesity problme. hes been really on a tangient, much like me, about a Sonic they put in our area on a busy highway. There are no sonics really in our area. People for the past month and a half have caused massive delays, accidents, and hit a cop directing the sonic traffic all because they wnat to try that crappy food. Its one of those things that make me realize i dont fit in this world with these people. I had sonic in north carilina cause it was a quick walk from the friends house i was staying at. i wanst impressed.
THe writer has a lot of wisdom, he shared this secret on staying attractive to his wife. WHen staying at a hotel, he goes downstairs saying hes getting a paper and poops in the lobby bathroom so his wife wont smell it. Most guys just bomb it out and think the wife wont be disgusted. the writer gets preachy a lot and goes on about how he can afford all his fancy vacations and such cause he doesnt have kids and that saves him enough money to do so. He wnet on his tangent about overpopulation and his reasons for not having kids. I always thought he made a lot of sense. Babies are expensive and they turn into adults. Ive weighed this in my head a lot with the pros and cons. Frankly i think the desire to have kids is a nerulogical con job. Sometimes i hear people say there kids are the best thing ever (keeping in mind these people i hear htis from are smoking a cigarette with me outside a bar on the weekends or divorced and only see them now and then).
Heres a great site the writer refered us the readers to. they believe the earth is overpopulated and we should make ourselves extinct for the benifit of the earth. there goal is to convince people not to breed and realize it wont work but getting through to some will help.
They sound a little nutty and only one sided but htey also make some great points that i have already thought of. As the writer in the magazine said "its a lot of writing and people don t like that" but its well worth reading. Its humorous, crazy at times, lots of cartoons and makes you think. Its nice to think when it comes to breeding, some other people think like i do nad also consider humans to be the equivalnet of cancer cells. I was thinking last night about how people think they know everything or act like they will live forever and how the bible or other religions say humans are basically sinners who are just complete idiots. I'd say score one for the bible on that one.
ALso this site doenst make large paragraphs like i do so it s readable. that got me thinking too. heres the site, be sure to check out hte hilarious graph under the "biology and breeding" section with "Reasons you want a baby" "real reasons" and "alernatives". they shoot down every reason i d think i want a kid into psychological reasoning, reasoning that makes you uncomfortable sometimes casue you know they are right.
the volunteer human extinction movement (vhemt)
I'd avoid showing it to a signifigant other. My girlfriend wanted to kill the guy who wrote this. i told her they dont believe in using violence to speed up human extinction. she then wished a tornado on them and once agian, they dont wish for natural disasters or disease to speed up human extinction (though i think they wouldnt boo it). Best line in the whole site was
Q:"should i get an abortion?"
A. "only if your pregnate"
They then say there joking and give abortion statitics and so forth.
As for the other site, the writer in the magizine suggested this great site which is like Boners.com but features pictures of crappy parents. You probably could tell this from the link. here it is...
http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/
great stuff there. anyhow now you have a lot of reading matierial and pictures to look at.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
|
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcmRYdrr27I
my idiot ex-coworker singing "longview" with greenday at about 1:45. I heard booing but the people after him were much worse.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, July 23, 2009
|
INcredibly bored, nothing on tv, club pogos challenges suck, facebook makes me realize i cant stand people i know, Devils forum wont take my screenname ID or password, and i got reamed out on the "orphan annie" comic page by the old people cause 'im long winded and should keep some stuff to myself.". The annie comic has a little girls who was torturing a robot head and some russian guys who wanted the head were caught by a large man with a paddle. i couldnt help but write some disturbing things.
anyhow, I decided tonight to chuck my free movie gift certificate card away after seeing previews for the latest crap movies. I hadnt been to a movie since April 13, 2003 when i brought my roommate and her boyfriend to see rob zombies "house of a thousand corpses. That was when it was packed and we sat in the first row with strained necks. We were surrounded by lots of black people who couldnt shut up during the movie, yelling and going "what the hell" or "goddamn" or "dont go in there". Its a very valid stereotype. I apoligized to my roommate and her boyfriend for picking such a crappy movie (the first hour was good until they got to the house). My streak was broken a year ago when the girlfreind made me go with some friends ot see "the myst". Ok movie. I kinda figured the ending out but it surprised me in a diffrent way. Hilarious ending. I then poo-pooed on the peoples survival skills thinking it took place in Portland Oregon but found out it was Portland Maine afterwards. that kinda ruined it.
Thats my recent Movie Theatre experience. I hate listeinding to people eat popcorn, slurp icecubes hoping for a last bit of soda, kids, and the freezing aircondidtioning. Also movies suck nowadays and are predictable. Sparing you and me going to go see these movies, heres how they will go......
BRUNO- lots of gay jokes, foreign person not understanding amercian culture, and basically a gay version of Borat. Expect lots of idiots laughing non stop during the movie, even when they play that scene from the commercail trailer everyone seen 50 times, they will still laugh like they never seen it before. Lots of people texting with there little screen lights showing everywere, if you go close enough it will say stuff like "w-tchin Bruno. LOL rolfola"
500 DAYS OF SUMMER- some stupid movie that movie critics gush over everyday much like that DJ on the radio does about "silversun pickup" every freaking day till you want to hate the band. romantic "comedy" if you will. The lead boy, that kid from "third rock from the sun" shows how he would be unfunny if he didnt have John Lithgow as a co-star. John Lithgow is not in this movie. They fall in love and everything is happy unless someone dies but it will make the survivor more learned in life. You'll probably sit there and wonder why Tommy Solomon is with this chic and long for the days when he had that girlfriend on "third rock from the sun" (the hot one who was a liberal bitch not the doofy looking one whose dad was Dick Solomons coworker professor)
I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER- Was taking a crap and the movie review guy in teh paper called it pure garbage wiht NO stars. I'd agree based on the title and the picture in the paper. It shows some dude with a measuring tape and a chic on a cell phone looking at the main character in shock like hes naked or something. You can tell the movie will suck. If it had a preview, you would most likely see them dancing and acting goofy towards the end, a major indicator a movie will totally suck.
YOO-HOO MRS GOLDBERG- saw this one in the paper too. Saw it was a Documentery and assumed Whoopi Goldberg which made me sick. Its not though, tis about some chic named Mrs goldberg who made some show called "the goldbergs". i never heard of it and i got sicker.
ORPHAN- A creepy little ophan girl gets a adopted family and isnt a good girl at all. Seems like that maculuy culkin movie 'The good son" but if the commercial shows the family knows shes evil, then you probably have to sit throug hthe first half hour already knowing this til your "surprised". every second that goes by from there you will go "just kill the kid already so i can leave". The guy in the movie theatre who claims that was soda that came flying from him and hit you will most likely be a massocist/sadistic child molester whose inot the little kid. not a fun movie to go see no matter how evil you think it may turn out to be.
ALIENS IN THE ATTIC- some crap some animation group made inbetween other crappy movies. Lots of poor overworked chinese people died making this movie so enjoy. this is the type of movie that they may put in a nostalgic mention of something 80's (ex. pee wees playhouse or Men in hats' reference) for the parents stuck in the theater wit hthere kids to give them a short lived chuckle until they go back to lame alien jokes.
LAURNAS SILENCE- youll wish she stayed silent. Its cheaper to stay home and watch lifetime than this crap about what i think its about.
THE COLLECTOR- some robber breaks into a house that has worse things inside. From the "SAW" guys so expect blood guts, and stuff you'd rather fastforward through. Kind of a very dark and more violent version of "panic room" where Loveable forest whitiker breaks into a house ot find something much worse inside (jodie foster)
FUNNY PEOPLE- this movie has Seth Rogan in his proabbly fifth movie in the last year so its got to be quality. Throw in Adam Sandler and how could this possibly suck? Remember people laugh non stop at these two guys for some unknown reason, even when they bomb. REMEMBER, peopel will be laughing non stop at these two caue they feel its required or someone will think your queer or something. IF they threw in Ben Stiller, peoples heads might explode from forced laughter in movie theatres.
GI JOE RISE OF THE COBRA- Movie starring "TOmmy solomon" from "third rock from the sun" as cobra commander. This kids going to realize he makes a crappy commander and thats why in "third rock from the sun" John lithgow was the commander. Hell be talking about battle and all that crap and GI JOe and youll be like "talk about that hot but liberal bratty chic from 'third rock from the sun' but not the ugly one whose dad was dick solomons coworker professor". THey probably are goingto make the GI Joes look like space age soldiers and make our old toys look like crap. Lots of hollywood special effects. The acting will be subpar and make you think that much like a real GI Joe, the actors have some tight rubberband connecting there torso to there legs and groin. GI joe will most likely win the battle but not kill cobra commander casue of a need for a sequil.
TRANSFORMERS Pretty much the same as GI Joe with no plot and lots of special effects. Lots of look alike overly metal looking robots who dont yellow like our toys did. Who the hell liked transformers cartoon when they showed optimus prime in the future and everything went silver? Beetles a corvette now and not a bug? what about Soundwave, does he have that funny voice i used to try and immitate in the fan? hes probably an Ipod now. that sucks. IF your not into special effects or oggling at chics you assume are real shallow and have no time for you, on a movie screen, then you may sit there during this moive like i would wondering if the Autobots or Desepticons made there logo first cause they look really simiar and i bet thats what they are fighting over. This movie is for people who like explosions and clap like a retard at fireworks and take JULY 5th off due ot neck strain.
JULIE AND JULIA- sounds boner-rific but it will be nothing the title suggests. yourthinking of lesbain porn, this will probably be a chic flic, subpar for a chic flic no less. JUst looked it up, good god its title isnt as hot as one would think, its meryll streep as Julia childs. UGH.
THE PROPOSAL- Sandra Bullock makes a scam marrage with a coworker who hate each other for some reason and then they have to meet his family. DOnt want to spoil it but i bet they realized they do infact love each other and tear up the divorce papers they thought they both wanted in the end and get married for real.
SLAMBAND- this is the crappy preview that got me started wtih this rage. Take one of those dance movies and add some jonas brohters and high schoool musical and this is the crap you get. THe preview was so horrible, i was looking to see if the guy was a jonas brother. A shy girl is afraid to sing at a competition deemed "bigger than high school footballl in texas" till seh meets some new guy who teaches her self to believe in herself so she does the contest and probably wins. The joke was her name was written as "SA5M" and she says her name is SAM but the "5" was silent. I have two jack-ass self punishing goals right now in life: one is watching this crap bucket in a movie theatre and surviving without vomiting. (the other is to masterbate and cum while watching "two girls one cup" and see if its possible without vomiting or going limp nad recording it all for proof. i most likely will do niether)
THE TIME TRAVELERS WIFE- heres a real crap-o-rama. Some guy is able to live his life in diffent times shifting all the time and the chic is in love with him but i guess keeps missing him or something. Brilliant. sounds like one of those romantic novels with Fabio on the cover mixed with "Quantum leap" maybe a little mixed with that sandra bullock movie where seh puts letters in a mailbox that some guy from the past gets. The movie will most likely end with either the guy getting stuck in a time where the chic is either dead or a baby and he will either say "i loved you" to a baby or a gravestone.
I hope this has been informative.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Saturday, July 18, 2009
|
Due to some research, i learned that that "forever young" song that LUcan said in my last blog was by Erasure was indeed not by them. SOme band named "alphaville". i knew it wasnt erasure.
"Forever young, Sirbutlust wants to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, Sirbutlust want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever? Forever young"
its clear im getting older and older, forever older. Yet another birthday has passed. Thanks to facebook, i got eight or so happy birthdays. i think thats a record. Still waiting on the parents and to see if the sister actually got me anything. I took the day off from work and did mike stuff. i was going ot go bike riding but wanted to hang out with the dog. First i had to get my identification stuff so i could go get a new drivers license. I found the passport quick but ill be damned where my birth certificate and social security card went. i looked forever, pulling crap out of the closet seacheing. i used to keep them in a bible but they werent there. I kinda remember putting them in a diffrent book but which one? i looked through all the boxes, many with "Drawer of shame" contents and it was horrifiying. Then i remembered i have a file cabinet with bank and vet bill stuff. They werent there. I found a big sealed bag with what i thought was coke . i wondered how it got hter as i never did coke and freaked out someone was trying to frame me. i then realized it was plaster for that "clone-a-willy" kit i bought on the internet to make a replica of my penis.
While searching i found the DMV pamphlet on "points of identification" nad realized that i had enough wih the passport and old license so i gave up searching and went to the DMV. People are idiots , theres a DMV right by me in my small town no one goes to. they go tothe one in the busy area that all the city people go to and wait forever. Its like a ghetto in there. I went ot the town one adn did it in five minutes. I went to the desk after showing my identification and the lady had a chek or german accent. I know this cause she yelled at me saying i had to show her the same stuff i showed the identification checker guy. She then yelled at me about something else. Then she threw my identifcaition down and i was afraid to take it wondering if i was supposed to.I didnt want her to start yelling again. Then she made me sit down adn take a picture. ITs a shitty picture but i wont do much better. Then i had to sign the electronic thing with the stylus. While signing i noticed i couldnt see my signature and stopped thinking it was broke. She once agian yelled that its not visible and i should sign the whole way through. then i thought i had to wait somewhere cause she took another customer. she yelled for me to sit down and wait . Then the other customer, some stupid soccar mom said she needed a new license but the lady saw it wasnt expired til next year. She didnt yell at her, they joked about it. They even joked about it wit the customers freind, who was at the other attentdants station who laughed about it. THey were all a big happy laugh-a-thon of idotic joy as i sat afraid to move cause she might yell agian.
I came home and went hiking with the dog. IT was really humid and i sweat my brains out. Some regulars at the park recoginized my dog cause my roommate works odd hours and is there a lot with him. The older lady said "thats lucky" and i said yes , we intorduced and she said that my dog lucky was lucky. I joked and said "well he never won the lottery" and she looked at me and said "hes lucky cause he has people to take him out all the time.". I said "yes good point" but was thinking "you stupid bitch, dont try and make me look shallow cause of the lottery comment and do that love is the greatest riches". Im not a big fan of that older lady. i met her hiking once in the deep woods and she is ultra liberal and talked to me on end about buying gold, renting not owning, buying beans and food to store, holocuastic doom, and not using banks. I somewhat agreed with stuff seh said but she went way overboard.
I played Wii for a whiel and watched the thunderstorems that rolled in. i watched outside how the newly paved street was pitched. The water acatually runs in the gutters now and the storm drains are now pitched down so the water goes in them. Water stuff like that is exciting to me. Me and the girlfinred had dinner at Houlihans. I like it there and we didnt get that bitch waitres that hanged out with her boyfriend and forgot about us. We were just a row froim the section that had the bald waiter that i find hilarous. He talks in a wierd monotone and is just really odd. I had him once, it was cool.
We came home and i regretted eating a fiber bar for a snack. You really ahve to ween yourself onto those things and not just start off eating a whole one now and then. We then left for the bar. We hanged out with freinds and had a good time. I wanted to sing that forever young song to a freind to annoy him but he showed up real late. They went to a party with food first. I complained at him the rest of thenight.
The best part of the night was meeting new people. i find people i dont know interesting. These three guys walked in. two looked very greek and one had a big beard. i knew the tall greek guy as ive talked to him before. His buddy, this small jerk that comes in for a quick beer, got in a fight with my freind cause of the jukebox. The greek guy was cool though and admitted his friend is a dick. He thought i was the guy that got in a fight with his friend but i pointed out my buddy who was there. i hate it when people stick up for ther efreinds no matter what douchebags they are. I dont do that, and let them know if they were wrong. it may loose you firends sometimes as people cant take critism and hear what htey want to hear but its a traight i respect. I never met the bearded guy and the short greek guy ive seen but was never intorduced.
I immediatly told my girlfreind as we met these guys that i need a picture with them. I asked and the greek guy was like okay but bearded guy paced and said "no no". i respected his wishes and told him how when i was age 20 to age 27 i didnt want photos of me in case the cops ever had to find me. He seemed to be the same way, he must have had a warrent. He was concerned i would put hte picture on the internet. i told him that was ridculous.
So instead of a picture, here is a drawing of how it would look. me super happy caues i got a picture with them.
This is my first (age 33) drawing. The short guy seemed to be a workaholic that shakes your hand super hard. I said his pizza store was in the area i heard the mob rules. He seemed to be surprised i knew that, he didnt kill me for knowing too much. the tall one is nice and chatty. The bearded guy was kinda scary. I went to him and asked "dumb question here but iw as wondering, is your beard itchy?" he said it itchs when you first grow it but eventually when it gets to a certian length it is comfortable and soft. He said "Feel it, its soft". I reached out and touched it, petting it with a finger real quick and he yelled "not you" as apparnetly he was talking to my girlfriend. As my girlfriend petted his beard, i told him i was just curious.
Lots of drinks were had, i got a lot of free beers, and even heard people sinigng happy birthday. I was just coming in from a smoke so i dont think it was me, i think they were singing to some lady who had a birthday too. Eventually we left and took a cab home and i dont remember much. I was pooped. I eventually woke up 1230 after being dead asleep. my girlfreind woke up way before me and was concerned i was dead.
the end.
sirbutlust (age 33) baseball cards now for sale.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, July 16, 2009
|
My Last (age 32) blog. (heres hoping age 33 is better)
Today begins the "dawn of the weekend of sirbut-lee-us, sirbut-lee-us" (as sung to "dawn of the age of aquarius song by some band). You can sing along in your head while driving like i do. This friday is my birthday and i want a birthday unlike other recent birthdays. Last year i learned killing a mortally wounded, weezing chipmunk is better to do with a shovel on hard cement, not dirt which makes it look more painful. Then there was age 30 with way too much drinking and the "incident". i think age 28 or 29 was the year my family, mainly my mom forgot to call me as she forgot (i expected the rest of the family but not her). My lone card from marlboro made it better. This year is going to be better adn it has started to look good already.
Yesterday sucked. I had to lure someone who's very stubborn to there home using lots of lying so they could have meeting announcing they are getting sent to rehab for there drug problem. IT took a while and really wasnt worth it when i get a call saying the person ran away and may break into the place i was at alone. this person is very violent and much stronger. Freakin kids. THen i got home and there was no hot water. Wondering if the polar bear club is an option for me, i tried it anyway. Painful would be a good adjetive. Know whats the hardest part to get wet on your body? it s your ass for some reason. Its all fat, i figured it would be balls. Also consider its not like that 68 degree pool i jumped in last month that completly submerges you, making it quicker. Showers drip slowly on you making it worse. I felt older than dirt being cold in a 68 degree pool last month. My parents above ground pool was always that temp when i was a kid, before solar covers made the top inch of water 80 degrees and the rest under 70 degrees. Anyhow the cold shower was refreshing afterwards unlike the warm one i took tonight that didtn stick. I figure the water last night was 45 degrees tops. It comes from a spring so its extra cold. My balls decended about two hours later but i noticed they felt real nice and airy from the cold water. It was nice.
Today was my last day of work. I worked by myself in peace and quiet and i was happy. I was thinking about that time i went to taco bell and noticed no one there and the workers looking at me funny. Then i left. put on the radio and they were talking about all the food poisening in my area from taco bells ingredients. This made me decide to have taco bell as it had been a long time since i had it and its my last day of being age 32.
Taco bell is the most wonderful place on earth. here is a link to a rotten forum where i posted that review of taco bell i have reposted a lot. click here, its about 80% down. heres a picture i took duringanohter taco bell visit. i wrote a blog on stuff and brought crap home from the restaurant for the sole purpose of scanning it for a crappy blog. this is called my last age 31 blog so ironically, it must have been exactly one year ago (kinda spooky)
I left walking down the street. Unlike the day before, there was no cop slowly driiving by me,checking me out to see if i was the person who ran away from his rehab meeting. I got in my car, which was super hot and got stuck at every light so i had no wind to cool me down. (my airconditioner is dead and the same virtue that casues me to take freezing cold showers to avoid complaining about it is what keeps me from using airconditioners and looking like a pussy).
I pulled inot the same Taco bell parking lot that i always go , that i mentioned in all my Taco Bell posts. There were a lot of male teenager 20 year old types in the parking lot. I walked towards the taco bell and noticed nice chairs and tables. I was afreiad it was no longer a taco bell anymore but some fancy place. I remembered seeing the Taco Bell sign drivng in so i cautiously walked in.
Everythying had changed. The purple, green orange and brown cushiuons on grey benches were gone. It was replaced by those formentioned wood chairs and rusty orange benches. Purple benches along the wall, rock deco paving stones all over and fancy granite looking crap. ORange walls. IT was like my myspace page wihtout all the yellow. It was beautyful. The cashier was a tall white girl, not hte usual 4 foot mexican chic or the 7 foot doofy, zit faced, glasses wearing, fat male teen. did i die en route to taco bell and this was heavens taco bell or a afterlife vision of what i thought tacobell should look like?
I ordered the mexican pizza with two supreme taco value meal right away. It was not 6 dollars like the old days, it was 8.23. this was not heaven. I took out a twenty dollar bill thinking how i just took a quarter out of my wallet and throwing it with my change in the car. I could have really used that quarter but now ill get even more change. I realized i was thinking about this too much when the white cashier chic was staring at me wondering if she should just reach out and grab the 20 dollar bill that i was holding close to my chest as i drifted into dreamland.
I got my MOuntian Dew Baja Blast, which i only drink at taco bell. I grabbed my napkins, sause and straw and noticed they leave out the sporks so you dont have to ask them everytime or forget to ask them and go back and ask for one. they never remembered your spork back in the day. I remember that one line in my first taco bell blog that said "i believe deep in my heart that if i ordered a mexican pizza she would rememebered to give me a spork." The workers must have gotten yelled at because everyone frm the casheier to the food giver person made sure to repeat my order number on my reciept all the time. Seemed odd, like that back door i always bitch about in taco bell hat you can see that says "dont open after night, your life may depend on it". I need a job there to find out these secrets. better yet, someone else get a job there and explain this to me. Ill google it later.
I looked around the restaurant and noticed more teenage 20 something year old males. THey freaked me out andi walked to a seat, thinking i heard them make a smart ass comment about my devils shirt i was wearing. i then sat in the corner looking out hte window. The new chairs really leaned forward and were uncomfortable. (this is to get you to leave quicker and not hang out). I turned my head slowly to see what those guys looked like. THey had the peircings and teen mop hair with hats and looked pretty tough. One looked at me and i looked out the window quickly to make it look like i wanst looking. I reaizied i was staring at a ten year old boy riding his bike and freaked thinking those tough teenagers might think im a pedophile. I looked out the window more to hte right and realized i was looking at a minivan with more tough teenage boys counting there change from the drive through. Where do i stare where i dont look weird, i thought. I contemplated looking at the sauce packs, but that looks real gay and i can read fast and saw they were repeats. Then i noticed a gas station but that looks gay too, staring at even more 20 something and teen guys at a gas station pump. Billy Joels "uptown girl" was playing reallly loud on the loudspeaker,and i made sure i wasnt moving at all, those stupid teenagers may think cause im older that i like it and thats dumb. I ended up staring at the bush in the front of tacobell while i ate.
THeres something about teenagers that freaks me out when im in a fast food place. There and only there is when im scared of them and become a skitopreniac moron. i see them on the streets, even all hanging out together in front of a store and walk by them thinking there stupid. Today i saw a kid in a yellow souped up car, blaring rap, he had chains, big hat on backwards, wife beater and keep in mind he was white. He looked like fiftycent. I watned to yell at him and say "you know if the way someone else dresses influences you enough to dress just like them, that means you probably have a man crush on them, doushebag" but i iddnt and just angrily stared at him so he would notice. Yet you put me in a fastfood setting and they freak me out. Why? is it the taco bell color scheme htat looks like a halloween decoration vomitted on a rainbow? is it cause im there solely for crappy food and they know that and they would claim there freind dragged them there? Perhaps its those weirdos that always go up and talk to me wehn im in that area. Heres a drawing i did of one taco bell visit that had two mental like patient ladies who were really acting crazy and i was freaking out they were going to start talking to me, the only ohter person there.
i was so scared then, i just started pretending i was ennammered with reading the sauce packets cute sayings. I noticed a new song came on the loud speaker after they claimed it was "80's weekend". I wanted to ask the white cashier what readio station was it but that would look gay and the teenagers would laugh at me. The cashier was busy talking to a loud cackling group of fat mexican female coworkers that just showed up for there shift. THey were real loud and it was annoying, seems the one mexican chic was the life of the party from when she walked in, they couldnt get enought of her. I dont know spanish so i dont know if she was funny and i also realized the white cashier may be a real light skinned spanish person. (not that theres anything wrong with it, just i think a white female taco bell cashier is funny rare, like a black hockey player or chinese football player). Some song started playing, it sounded like that prom song in "Napolieon Dynomite" that started "heaven can wait a bit...something something". I rolled my eyes, hoping those stupid teens would see i hate it too, realizeing im not a old doufuss but still young and cool. Perhaps this is why teenagers piss me off , i want to be young agian and beleive youth is really wasted on the young. But anyhow the song had some lyric. I was already thinking how i could write ablog about all this and said "Mike make sure you remember that one line so you can just say the song that says that said line and people will say what it is ory ou can google it". i then convinced myself i would remember. I never remember unless i really try to remmeber. i forgot taht part so in other words, i forgot. The DJ was talking about hte song and may have said the name and the band but hte freaking loud cashiers, on the other side of the taco bell, drowned him out. Then they played that stupid song by that stupid band i cant remember the name of. the song is really popular in the 80;s and everyone knows it. it went "you can be a steamship,....something something", and the guy had that hulking annoying voice. I think he said jack hammer a few times in the chorus. its bugging me i ll google it....coulndt find it. Its that song, always going "you could be a (insert word). wait let me try "could" instead of "can"/. fuck it, i tried. i give up.
So i food wise, i found the beef to be very diffrent. i m sure its still grade D meat but it was more gravy like. The old meat was brownish gray and not liquidy at all. The new kind seems to be in a gravy like when you make it with those sause packets at home but not orange. Everything in taco bell is orange but how come there meat isnt like when i make it with those stupid packets? I also noticed less tomatoes and no scallions. i dont care about the tomatoes but always liked the scaliions though those are what caused the food poisening af ew years back.
I was done eating and decided to walk out. i threw out my crap, passed those stupid teens and took out my keys and was almost to the door. Something stopped me, it was noticing the bathroom door. I had to see if teh bathroom was changed at all. I really like how they have a door in front of the tiny hallway wiht the ladies and mens room doors. THis is a buffer zone if you have to take a loud shit or if you dont feel like washing your hands. I would wash my hands but i like towels, i hate those air thingys. With the buffer door, none of those teenagers or loud mexican cashiers can hear that i didnt activate the dryer thing. Lots of granite and orange but nothing really new in the bathroom that i noitced. I did stop in that tiny hallway to notice the door signs. they were triangler granite with Men writtein on it wiht a white outline of a skinny man. THe womans room had the same skinny man design but was way fatter due to them makeing the image wear a dress. It looked really fat.
I walked out of taco bell and noticed past my car were a ton of teenagers, some female, text messaging adn haging out in the parking lot. It was freaky. THen in the back corner were two cars parked next to each other. One orange hatchback car that seemed new with "popeye" written on it in soap for some reason and a huge jeep cherokee on those big Bigwheel tires making it look like a monster truck. ("big bigwheel tires on monster truck" that was three times redundant). a teen was outside and talking to them and slapped the popeye car real hard and walked real fast towards me. I quckly jostled my keys trying to get my car key ready. My doors were locked due ot seeing Teenagers beforehand and i have one of those cars that require a key and doesnt have that beeping button thing. My wallet was also in my hand and i was afraid this guy knew i was just a the bank and had 100 bucks minus 8.23 on me. I then noticed my key was stuck i n the ring cause my beer openeron my key chain was stuck in the ring making it a mess to untangle. I then thought, not all teens are 32 year old robbing thugs nad played it calm. I then opened it up and sat down throwing my extra change in the change bin so loud he woudl have heard it thinking "you should have grabbed the wallet you thug, it was loaded".
All in all, taco bell was once again a fun trip and whatever they put in the tacos makes my brain drip with subconcious vomit that i bring home and throw on my mysapce page. One day, doctors will look at my taco bell blogs and perhaps come up with a new mental illness. Others may be impressed wtih how i siad people who dress like other people are really gay for them. I think that would have impressed sigmund freud.
speaking of doctors, i went to mine and told him im doing the activia challenge. You knw what he did? he laughed and said "hows that going". i said, i still dont poop solid but its always at 9 am and i really cramp up before hand". he nodded in agreement.(fuck activia). if your one of the seven or so who reads this in the next 24 hours (i get more views wehn i dont post, does this counter work?), try the activia challnege but be prepared to notice no changes.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
|
Hello. i wrote a few anniverserys ill be celebrating or forgot to celebrate for this month of july. Just doing this cause i have to wind down. been teaching myself how to write screenplays in the right format. its not easy but im slowly getting it. In the meantime , heres some great moments in history.
Today is July 7th. i was supposed to be born on this date but wasnt. it was my Due Date. As some know, my parents concieved so i would be born on July 4th 1976 and be a bicentinial baby. Due to poor math or not realizing some months have 31 or 30 days and me being to lazy to check that, my due date was the 7th. then i was born ten days late anyway. As an extra kicker, i was named mike cause my dad liked the name cause he was called Mickey and didnt realize his real name was "Don" till age 11. i figure he was called mickey cause of DOnald Duck and Mickey Mouse or who the hell knows why. I never asked cause anytime i talk to him he talks to me about coin collecting or what i will get wehn he dies, and how i have to continue collecting the new pennies quarters nickels and dimes so his collection keeps going. I also get his 1970;s slot cars, and the skyscraper plastic beams biulding set. He's a morbid man.
In ohter July events, last sunday, the 5th was the one year anniversery of a cop catching me peeing in the alley next to the bar. I'm sure if you go to July 5th or July 6th youll respectivly find a detailed drunken or hungover blog of the incredible story.
This is a happy time of year of great memories. Soon my birthday will come and i hope this year isnt like the last bunch, with the peeing thing at age 30 and the having to kill an injured chipmunk like last year.
regards, sirbutlust (age 32)
Ps. the above was posted in a bulliten. i just remembered i have that calendar i wrote what i did in from 1989. So heres some 20 year anniversery things of no intrest i noted.
In my July 1989 calendar, there is a picture on top of a painting of a beach scene with lots of people and sailboats. I drew over a lot of pictures and altered them which includes: floating corpses, feet sticking out of the water, a lady stepping in a poodles crap, a guy who has his arm on a ladys shoulder but i have him thinking how hes going to take her top off, a person that stepped on a hyperdymic needle, a drunk, a guy selling needles at a stand for 2 cents, a lifegaurd who thinks his hand is being pinched by a hot chic but its a crab, couple complainig the sun is hot but its their beach umbrella above them thats on fire, a baby requesting beer, and a dog who is imaginng a chic flying a kite is a fire hydrant. I now se a guy in a thong on a boat with another guy. i must have missed that when i was a kid.
On the 9th i was stung by a bumble bee. i guess i pushed that out of my memory. On the 8th i wnet to a party for a jamacan freind of mine in new york city at his parents restaurant. i found a coin with a naked lady. it was cool. on todays date the 7th, i pissed my dad off by doing somethign with glue. i have a lot of entrys that just say "dad mad". hes medicated now. On the 6th my grandpa brought me and my sister and a freind to Rickels and ohter hardware stores and i started my fad of stealing paint sample swatches for some reason. i also wrote the day i thought iw ould die on the sixth of july 1989. I picked September 25th 2001 (1:52 PM est). How odd if i wrote September 11th huh?
i have to go, its lighting and thudering and my power is blinking. hopethis was enjoyable.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Sunday, July 05, 2009
|
i went to philadelphia agian. Going there has been getting better and better. Quickly here is an old post i did on the problems i had with Philly in the past.
From: sirbutlust [mike duff]
Date: 29-Mar-2006 17:47
philadelphia is a beautyful city in a crappy state filled with crappy people. im saying this and im from snobville craphole, new jersey. i have been to philedelphia numerous times and have always almost got into a fight. anyone familiar with sports will tell you philedelphia has the worst fans and they seem to embrace it. they have jails and a courtroom in there staduims. they threw snowballs along wiht other stuff at a guy in a santa suit at an eagle game. wearing an opposing teams jersey at any philly game will give you the same results as wearing a pink cowboy hat and a tutu in the wild west. the worst part of philadephia is there jerkosity tends to rub off on you and make you one of them. here are some examples to prove my point of the name calling, insulting behavior, and other jerkish behavior philedelphia has caused.
may 1988liberty bell museum- sirbutlust is rudely yelled at for attemting to touch liberty bell.
march 1996 spectrum center_at a whitezombie/ramones concert, rob zombie feels the need to point out sirbutlusts drunken/stoned inability to stand by calling him a pussy and pointing him out to the gawking crowd. sirbutlust would later stand up to the crowds delight.
oct 2000 sirbutlust is in some jazz bar with some frineds when a gay guy who looked like elvin from the cosby show decides to try to pick him up assuming he is gay. instead of leaving right away sirbutlust decides to take advantage and get a free shot. the shot was really warm causing sirbutlust to feel nausous combined with the elvin guy eying him up. sirbutlust leaves right away.
oct 2000 sirbutlust has to puke outside a jazz bar after a warm shot adn an freind points to a car. the car was full of people and the freind was pointing at the car as to say there were people in it watching me so go do it in an alley. sirbutlust, not seeing the people in the car, read this pointing as 'go puke on that car itll be funny'.sirbutlust had to run a few blocks iwth his friends calling him an idiot. on a plus side, on a later taxi ride sirbutlust finally wins a game of "guess the taxi drivers ethnicity" with hte correct answer of zimbabweeian.
may 2001 sirbutlust asks for a cheesesteak "medium rare" and is given an obnoxious response from the street vender.
nov. 2003 sirbutlust is given the finger by a phildelphiaite for his wearing of an mike alstott buccaneer jersey.
december 2004 sirbutlust is forced to watch the buc-saints game on the bars tiny tv by the bathroom because the bartender said the bucs are stupid and nobody wants to watch it.
july 2007- sirbutlust signs a crap load of sirbutlust autographed cards and leaves them all over the city of philadelphia. He also gives some out, no one seems impressed or desires them.
____________________________________
I had friday off so on thursday night it was really hot in my apartmetn so me and the girlfreind hanged outside on the deck. I tried burning candles while drinking budlite but am finding candles suck these days. the wick always burns quicker than the wax. What i did was cut out the excess wax, and dump it in a coffee tin and throw sticks in there and burn that. Forgeting "Maxwell house" tins arent aluminum, i burned my hand moving it onto the bottom part of chinese food container that was aluminum. IT was all bent up so i pushed down n the tin to make it more even. I have burn lines on my thumbs now.
We left the next morning at about ten and hit some traffic and got there real late. We went to the farmers market and had lunch at an amish sandwich place. I wanted a cheese steak but hte lines were too long. By the time I was done eating, the cheese steak lines were not there. We were going to go to that museaum that has skulls and baby fetus's but it was too late. We had reservations at delfriscos a expensive steak house that my girlfriends freind works at so we walked around until it was time for that.
First we booked inot our hotel. Our room was on the twelfth floor and lacked windows except for the ones above the bed looking up at the sky and penthouse. Being clostrophobic, my girlfirned wasnt thrilled. I put on spongebob to ease her mind, though forgetting im the one who likes that show and not her. Eventually she got us another room though the hotel guy was (believe it or not) really rude about it. We then walked to City hall which is a huge building wtih four ways to walk in that smell like urine. heres some pictures.
i think that railing thing would be neat in my yard.We wandered around some more, me trying to avoid the homeless gusy that live in the parks and went ot a borders bookstore.
My favorite part of philly is the ghetto black kids. One was standing leaning agianst a book shelf reading with his ipod headphones on, tryign ot look cool. i walked behind him curious what he was reading. I saw a lot of naked picturs like it was a doctor book or something. i saw a butt, a wee wee, a pee pee and posisbly a dildo.
We had dinner and then got ready for our "ghost tour". we took a cab to go to independece hall. I noticed from all my taxi rides that taxi guys are alwasy talking on there bluetooths now. its sad. So we got there and noticed that there was a big concert going on with a instermental band. we had to walk around. there were seats in the first part and behind teh seats in the feild , people were lying on beach towels. due ot it getting dark, i noticed a crap load of the people (mostly the white people) video taping it for some reason. Maybe they might want to consider living in the moment as who the hell is going to want to watch a tape of a band playing in the future. Unless you get lucky and teh tuba guy falls off stage, it will be erased in no time. Thats white people for you.
So off to do my white people thing, we got our tickets and crappy directions from a arab guy that could barely speak english and waited in a park for all the other people in the ghost tour. We were told to stand in line so they could divide us up. We got hte guy who looked like my brother in law which really made me and my girlfirned happy. His name was ryan but we called him "don " to each other as thats the name of my brother in law.
The ryan guy was my hieght but overwieght and wore a cape and held a lantern. He seemed to have a huge hunchback till we realized that was his backpack underhis cape. eh kept his water there cause he tired and sweat a lot. He stopped at diffrent points in the city and would talk about the ghostly reports of the area and the folklore. Most of the stories were very historical. they taught us history under the false pretenses of ghosts, those bastards. IT was still enjoyable. Ryan was a acting major most likely and practicing by telling the reports of ghosts in the words of the persons who would have seen it, pretending to be a ranger, a cop, a cleaning lady. he was good. We stopped at apartments that were haunted and stared from the street at them. i couldnt help but wonder if the people who live there get sick of seeing tour groups following a guy in a cape staring at there apartment windows four times a night.
We learnedall about the yellow fever epidemic of 1793 and how all the squares and parks used to be potter feilds that contain thousands of bodies of unknown people . I wonder if i can lie on a beach towel in the parks like everyone but bring a hidden shovel and pretend to be sunbathing while i dig up a skull. Later on we were walking down the street in a buiser area and all the black people walking by had a comment for our friend in the cape with the lantern. Some seemed mean, others were funny like the black guy that asked ryan if we were all harry potter fans following him. there were no black people on our tour if you were wondering. Thre were a family of four kids, one of which seemed to confide in the ryan guy as we walked about how he has ghosts and saw the one ghost and no one listens to him and he hears noises at home and his legos do weird things. The ryan guy seemed not to konw what to say and i think that kid needed a shrink or a parent to talk to who listens to him.
The next day was the wander philly day and i saw the tail end of a parade. we then wandered around at all the sites they had going on, walked through the cemetary ben franklin was buried, had a cheese steak at someplace called ROtten ralphs (it was kinda rotten) and then stayed at my girlfriends freinds apartmetn as we decided to stay an extra night aand we only had one night in the hotel.
my girlfrnined and the ohter couple decided they were kinda hungry and searched online for a place that has bar snack food and bud light as i like budlight. No luck and i was dragged to some place named "Tria" or something like that. The seater gave me a look as my white t-shirt and devils hat wasnt yuppie enough i guess for there standards . lots of people with tatoos and those thick rimmed glasses you would see in art college. I got some beer called "Sly fox" something or other and we got this hard bread with toppings that cut the instide of my mouth. they also sell sandwiches that have goat cheese and all that fancy crap and cheese and nuts. i wasnt in my usual element. There were no tvs but the one bartender, who had a moustache and redneck flannel short sleeve shirt, yet seemed really gay had a computer playing that stuff ectasy people like, that pink floyd crap with the shapes and colors changing that really impress you if youre stoned. I went to take a piss and noticed and office door nad what i still assume was an unmarked co-ed bathroom. i walked in peed, washed my hands, waved my dripping hands in front of the towel sensor, dripping water all over the toilet seat and walked out to see anohter unmarked door ahead of me. Nerovous i went inot the ladies room i noticed a waitress looking at me funny. i then remembered they were doing that the whole time .they dind even ask me if i wanted a second beer, they just took it away, same thing with my girlfriends beer. I walked out of there for good and saw black people walking by looking at me. i wanted to yell "i didnt want ot be here, im not that type of white guy" but it would have been useless.
We then got beer (bud lite for me, yay) and went back and had a few and then decided to wlak to the bridge to see the fireworks. Feeling alcholic, i tried to fill a water bottle with beer but it was all foam and looked like a truck bomb.I put two budlite cans in my pants pocket and would brown bag it at the bridge. be careful opeinging a beer that was in your pockets for a few blocks. YOu will hear a "pchooo" and spray anyone near you including yourself. Forutuanly it was me and a freind not one of the angry looking black guys around us. Sick of hearing michale jackson blasting from a stereo, we crossed the street and found a better place to watch the fireworks, on the stair landing aotp the bridge. The fireworks took forever to start and you could kinda hear SHeryl crow still singing. She wouldnt shut up. I heard a band and hoped someone shot her to shut her up so the fireworks would start. I then contemplated if she was killed, would htey continue the fireworks? thats one hell of a deep question. The fireworks started, they kinda sucked, idiots below the stairs of the bridge i was standing on started shooting off there own fireworks which was real dangerous (considering if it went off course it could hit me or the baby carrage ten feet fro mthe launching area). Then it ended and i was walking behind an old couple. the old guy yelled across the street were we had originally been standing but couldnt stand the michael jackson music blasting from a car. He yelled something like "thanks for blastig your music " or something like that and the wife was like "henry be nice, they have to go find somewhere to sleep tonight". You have to realize all weekend, black people were driving by me or hanging out blasting micheal jackson non stop. it was sickening. One park we were in earlier had two fifty year old white guys who seemed normal but the one yelled at every person that walked by , moreso with the balck people and screamed at them about what there opionion of michael jackson was. It was kinda funny but disturbing ot watch.
we then did the quick walk home as everyone had to urinate. I drank about 8 beers. I kinda wanted to go to the bar we were at last time wehre i have those pictures in my myspace pics of me with a weired looking payton oswalk white guy and a wierd looking dorky black guy. I was curius if they were still there. that would have been neat thought htey wouldnt have recoginized me unless they remember that that night i was the guy leaving "sirbutlust " autographed baseball cards all over the place.
So in conclusion, peopel in philly are still kinda jerks but its getting bettr. the black people are much funnier but seem to be listening to way too much michael jackson. way too many peopel were wearing Phillies shirts. I learned a lot more history and phillys good for that, ecspecially dark history with death and disease and such. good stuff. Im making a photo album in my picturs of the trip. YOu can see city hall, the two really dark pictures when i tried ot take pictures at night druing the ghost tour, and fireworks and such. I now have stuff to do. First i must find out what pictures photobucket deleted yet again as my last two were deleted and i ahve no idea what they were.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Monday, June 22, 2009
|
Doing some retro-sirbutlust (old posts when im too lazy to make a new one) to put some good crap on my site cause i have some people checking out my blog and i think a lot of current ones suck. I did a theme, crematoriums or roasting in high heat. Heres a real old one from june of 2006./
Plot to hide dead baby in pants of corpse foiled
AZ Central | Submitted by: anonymous
"A former funeral home worker who pleaded no contest to hiding a baby's body in the pants of a man's corpse slated for cremation - apparently to avoid paying an extra $50 fee - faces the permanent loss of her funeral director's license."
From: sirbutlust [mike duff]
Date: 11-Jun-2006 18:33
Sirbutlust practices to be a writer for weekly world news or american justice.
the former funeral home worker was trying to save fifty bucks. nice try but she failed to pay attention in funeral home school. you see in 1974, a new law was made by goverment that cremation workers were to by law check the pants of the deceased before burning them. this led to a major outcry by the public thinking it was perverted . little did they know there was a reason behind this.
On three separate incidents in october of 1973 in north dakota, crematorie workers were killed in violent explosions and three crematoriums destroyed. upon investigation authorities realized the culprit was dynomite that was placed in the corpses pants. they traced all three bodys back to the "cu later funeral home" and were all under the care there of spencer herman. spencer herman was a funeral director by day and unsuccessful unfunny clown by night. spencer hermans jokes seemed to injure others and the circus was getting tired of him. he had the type of personaltie that would have him shoot arrows at trapezze artists, or tickle elephants while they put a leg over a performers head. unfortunalty around october 1973, his two lives became entangled, from which he blamed dye in blue M&M's in court testimony. anyhow he placed dynomite in corpse to be sent to the crematorium to be funny.
spencer herman, the former funeral home director and clown got life in jail. he wasnt laughing. it turned the country upside down. if he could put dynomite in corpses pants perhaps ohter funeral directors could get rid of incriminating edvidence or there garbage in corpses pants. they made a law to check corpse pants before cremation. they also took blue M&M's off the market. perhaps the funeral director who put the baby in the corpse pants should have studied history like me and would have been aware of this.
_______________________________________
and here is my favorite post of all time from november of 2006.....
Grease Fire
ABC-4 | Submitted by: anonymous
"Fire officials said the six-hundred pound man was in being cremated when his body fluids were too much for the oven. The body fluids seeped out onto the floor and ignited causing a fire at the Garner Funeral Home in Salt Lake City."
From: sirbutlust [mike duff]
Date: 7-Nov-2006 14:16
"The crematorium is back in business and the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed"
a letter from the salt lake city based funeral home/crematorium to the family of the fat guy.
dear Ms. grenchowski,
We at the burning morman funeral home and crematorium would first like to offer our condolences on your brothers passing. Theres something you should know about how the creamation went. Lets start off by explaining we all live in salt lake city utah and as you know it is the most lazy city in the country. This explains the deceased, Berts weight problem and the fact none of us move to a funner city. Anyhow, i being the funeral director and the head crematorium guy decided to let someone else handle the task of getting a 600 pound hairy corpse into the oven. I gave the job to Ordonez, (this stupid mexican who got lost trying to go to Los angeles). Ordonez used too much lighter fluid and there was a problem. In non technecal terms, he burnt the body so quick that the outside skin burned so fast the juicy insides spilled out causeing a grease fire. SO anyhow, funny story, your dead brothers juices caught fire to our floor. Its a real mess and our janitor frank wont touch it. ORdonez quit and the oven doesnt have any self cleaning knobs like you would find on a regular oven. So instead of you dumping 1000 dollars on a 600 pound mans deluxe jumbo urn (the previously agreed upon model, the fat ash 400X), we decided to make everyone happy, we will give you a free urn for your troubles. The urn is the oven we dont want to clean. YOu have ten days to pick up your oven/urn.
once agian our condolences.
skippy van bureun
president and ceo of burning morman crematorium and funeral home.
______________________________
Both those stories had burning or a baby so heres one with both. some story about people kidnapping a baby i made inot a play....
From: sirbutlust [mike duff]
Date: 29-Jun-2006 07:56
Subject: Kidnapped baby left to roast
this story would make a good broadway play or better yet an opera. they could have the first scene be the two women singing back and forth in the hospital and then the music gets faster and angrier when the one chic steals the baby. then they could show the lady driving with the stolen baby and singing about her feelings. then there can be a scene with the trailer park mangager and the lady singig about her new baby. something like:
manager:(deep opera voice)"i did not notice you were pregnant, i did not notice you were pregnate, i did not notice you were pregnant"
with the lady going (fat lady opera voice) "oh yes i was pregnate, oh yes i was pregnate oh yes i was pregnate"
manager (still singing) "im suspicious of your baby, im suspicious of your baby, im suspicious of your baby"
stealing babys chic: "didnt you ever see a white couple witha mexican looking baby,didnt you ever see a white couple witha mexican looking baby, didnt you ever see a white couple witha mexican looking baby,"
then they could somehow involve the husbands character in this though the article mentioned virtually nothing about his involvement. maybe even make a opera person wear a baby costume and sing about his or her feelings about being kidnapped. "its really hot in this car"x3
_____________________________________
and lastly, on the topic of heat and roasting, heres a story about three retarded guys that were left in a car while the neglegent caretaker wetn to a bar or something....
Oven Car
Sun | Submitted by: keysersoze
"Each of you had the responsibility for the care and welfare of three men with severe learning difficulties." ... "They were completely helpless and entirely dependent on you for all their care needs." ... “You chose to go into a betting shop and amusement arcade..."
From: sirbutlust [mike duff]
Date: 21-Jan-2008 17:54
CARE home staff left three disabled patients strapped in a baking hot car for THREE HOURS — while they went to a betting shop
car tempature 78 degrees: Seated in the back seat, Norman (the violent sean penn like retard) , Edward (the big glasses steven urkel like retard who smiles a lot), and Binky (the overweight balding retard) start to notice it is getting warmer. Edward turns to Norman excitedly to show him his glee and hits him with his big glasses. Its only 78 degrees and Norman is aggitated.
car tempature 84 degrees- Edward plays the back of the front seat. binky is facinated by playing with his knee high socks and kaki shorts. Norman watches cars drives by following them wtih his head till he bumps the glass. Frustrated, Norman is reaching theboiling point.
car tempature 92 degrees- Binky has lowered his knee high socks to cool off. He is stuck inbetween the door and edward so he has trouble loosing his suspenders that are chaffing him. Edward is making finger gestures to Norman which make no sense. Norman bites edwards fingers.
Car tempature 98 degrees- Sweat starts to run down binkys bald head and dripping down his glasses. Edwards glasses show signs of sweat as well. Norton thinks the sweat on the glasses looks neat and wants more and starts spitting on there glasses.
Car tempature 99 degrees- Binky is crying and edward slapped norman. Norman starts wailing on edward. Edwards glasses fall off but are saved by the strap he has connected to them. This makes him confused as his sight is bad. Norman is sick of punching edward and takes his retallation on the front seat. Binky puts edwards glasses on and starts wailing on edward when he doenst say thank you.
car tempature 108- Exhausted from wailing on each ohter and the backs of the front seats, Norman, edward and Binky sit lying back, heads back and start panting and trying to muster energy. edwards, the who shirt, and binkys alligator polo shirt and suspenders are totally soaked. Edward and binkys glasses have now started slipping down there nose and its annoying.
car tempature 115- Some stupid teenagers that were watching them from outside get bored that they are jsut sitting there panting and provoke them by pounding on the window. THis gets Norman all worked up. Seeing norman it is common knowledge that if he could figure out the door, those teenagers would be dead. Everyones worked up agian.
car tempature 120- Norman, edward, adn binky are rescued by a cop. Norman really wants to punch him btu is too tired. Asked if they want water, edward says "kooo-aid" and Binky, impatient, starts licking normans head. IF norman remembers this later, binky may be dead. THey are given water and everyone drinks some but edward, who is in a stand off for kool-aid.
I hope no one gets the feeling im making fun of the mentally retarded in this post.It was just a coincedince. It also works with Sirbutlust,(insert two rotteneers names) as well.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Friday, June 19, 2009
|
Wrote the title and then the plumbers showed up. now there gone. I wanted to type a blog while they were here so they would think im doing something important. I ended up only talking to them and downloading toilet pics to photobucket while they were here. i have to say i am very happy and feel my self confidence in toilet fixing has taken quite a boost. My beloved blue toilet had been leaking and running over the last few months and i have been working to repair it. I put in a whole new stem i got at a hardware store cause the cap, that keeps the water from shooting out in the tank, was busted. Seems whoever (landlord mostlikely) didtn realize it was ajustable in hieght and the wieght of the tank lid crushed it. THen the toilet kept leaking. I talked to rich the contractor who told me it was the connection between the toilet and the tank. if it was the flapper, i would have seen bubbles.
 Last friday, at about 4:30 pm, i took off the toilet lid in a rush cuase the parts place closes at 6 o clock. I was behind sechedule cause my female roommate was taking ashower and getting ready. I got two bolts out and relized the third was stripped. this caused major delays and cursing. evnetually i got it off. heres some fun pictures.
In the one picture , you can see the overfill tube on the toilet. i bet you dont know what that is. I do now. water should be 1/2 an inch below it when the water stops. See how much i learned. Anyhow i went to the plumbing supply store which took me through massive traffic and met a guy who helped me out nad told me what to do. for an expert, he was wrong on everything. i came home after driving through really massive New york city commuter/going to the yankee game highway traffic. Ive learned everyone now drives in the emergency lanes on the highwyas leaving getting off an exit a nightmare. people are dicks. anyhow I put it together and noticed a leak. Frustrated i called rich the contractor who came with his two male twin six year olds who harrassed my cat, tried to pick up my dog, and wanted me to give them some of my simpson figure collection along with other stuff and sugar filled iced tea. I see why rich seems miserable. Even my girlfriend didnt want kids after seeing that.
Me and rich took it off and put it on the same way and i was happy. FInally at almost 8 oclcok i was done, just in time to see the stanley cup game 7 game. Sadly my happiness was ruined the next day when i saw some water was dripping. I told the landlord that rich would come with a new toilet and put it in for free. The landlord suggested instead his plumber.
Today the plumber came. He said my toilet is fine. i did it rigth, its just we get well water and that is freezing cold and the toilet tank "sweats bullets" (thats plumber talk for condensation). My bathtub handles leak so water was always running through the pipes, thus the water never gets accumilated to warmness and comes in cold. He replaced my bathtub fixtures and now it should stop condensating so much. The dripping ruined the wall over the years and tiles are about to pop out. Rich put in new tiles on the main wall (crooked and not matching see picture with old tiles on right, new on left) but the landlord didnt want to pay extra for the other wall, which is now falling apart and i see some black mold on the sheetrock.
so thats my new deal to work out with the landlord. he seems to not realize water causes massive damage. I should get him DVD's of "Life after people " so he can see how water damage will destroy buildings and such if people disappeared.
i would once agian like to announce my happiness oon that show, it rules, sadly only one more episode left and i have so many questions. i day dream during half the episode thinking of stuff. i like the building expert who i couldnt find on wikipedia or google though he wrote a book called "mega construction disasters." hes this fat guy called steven ross. Hes always using phrases like "what you see here is..." or " basically what we have is....".
anyhow back ot the toilet. i fixed it right, it will live on in its blue glory and i am very happy. I got to do some rigging to make it so the bowl doesnt fill up so much. this lowers water pressrue and it may not always flush but rather just fill up the toilet bowl but its a risk i m willing to take. I find water thatis real high in a toilet bowl makes my ass closer to water and if a snake or alligator comes through the pipes, it will make it much easier to bite me. Its a fear i had from since i was a kid. I used to be terrified of toilets, lots of unpleasntness. I couldtn even lift up the lid cause i was scared what i would see. i had to leave a kids party when i was six caue i really had to pee and the lid was donw and i didnt want to ask the mom to lift it up for me. I told them the movie was scaring me and i wanted to go home. I had to sit there at dinner, releaved from finally peeing but bored about how id have to listne to my dad expalin how "king kong" the original version is not scary and realy big apes dont exist. I still cant sit on a toilet if its flushing. But i have improved vastly over time.
Now that thats off my chest and eveyrone knows im a freak, heres a picture of my toilet now. i put my foot in the picture for people who dont like toilet pictures but have a foot fetish so they can enjoy. look how happy my toilet is.
Okay now im done with my possibly most unintereesting blog ot a regular person. I'd like to leave with this thought that i had today listneing to a "white castle" commercial celebrating there 88th birthday. I read an editorial about htat 88 year old guy that went shooting at a holocuoust memorial museaum. THe editorial stated the guy was most likely not 88 years old and someone should have investigated his actual age cause it may just be a nod ot his hitler friends. H is the 8th number in the alphabet thus "88" is skinhead for "HH" or hiel hitler. Is white castle aware of this? 88 year olds are on average more likely to be racist. White Castle is most likely started by people 88 years ago that would be racist, as it was normal back then. Thats perhaps why they arent "black castle". Black castle sounds much cooler than White castle. White castle woudl show dirt and blood and stuff. Maybe they werent racist and wanted "Black Castle" but it was taken by a beer company. that would be a kick ass name for a beer. See this is what goes through my mind when i drive and why i could never and find it impposible to talk on a cell phone driving. I also end up stop daydreaming and going "where the hell am i" or "im here already, i dont remember driving thorugh Ho-ho-kus (funny sounding town by me)" when driving the same route home cause i was day dreaming for so long.
Lastly i signed up to comment on Gocomics.com as i wanted to comment on "Annie " comics. the series is like 24 and actually facinating. I also learned i got to orginize my photobucket album somehow. i spent forever looking for that tile picture. i evne typed tile for searching my album and cause i put Tiles" it didnt find it. going page by page in a 33 page album sucks and i realize im old cause i cant figure what event i have in my folder was a year ago or two years ago. times starting to mush together. it sucks.
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|
Thursday, June 18, 2009
|
Starred for Life
Daily Mail | Submitted by: StellaePubes, Jethro Bodine
Note to self: Don't fall asleep at a Romanian's tattoo parlor. "Rouslan Toumaniantz said today that Kimberley Vlaminck absolutely agreed she wanted 56 stars tattooed on the left side of her face. But now the 18-year-old is suing Toumaniantz, claiming she had asked him for only three stars -- and had fallen asleep during the procedure, waking up to a nightmare in her Belgian hometown of Courtrai." Hilarious picture of Kimberley, equally hilarious picture of Toumaniantz.
Click here for story
 Picture of tattoo artist (awesome)
 picture of dumbass chic
Knowing a lot of Sirbutlust readers have tatoos, allow me to say I dont condemn tatoos but at the same time I wouldnt get a tatoo. Its my choice, i would have no interesteing story to go with it or reason. I have no desire to put some design i would get sick of in a few years permently on my body. More importantly, i would be worried that my body would be mummified somehow and future generations would see the tatoo and get the wrong idea. heres some common tattoos, with how future people may interpret them.
Military Tattoo- Sure right now it looks tough that you were a member of the 241st marine whatever or navy this and that. But future generations are going to not think much of this. After all, america is gone so thats the equivalnat of us finding a Roman soldier from back Ceasar times. We all know Rome fell and why so think of what our future generations will think.
Tatoo of a signifigant other/love- even in the future, they will know having your girlfriends name tatooed on you is a stupid idea. IF your not buried next to this woman, they are going to think your some loser. If you are buried next to her, youll look like a whipped chump who loves a dead decomposed chic. Theyll say "ewww that guys brown shirvled wiener went into that dryed out flaky vagina, hes gross".
Tatoo of your kid- They are going to see the tattoo of your infant and think the kid is over hundreds of years old , so youre really old. Even during your lifetime, what if this kid turns out to be a Jeffrey Dahmer, reality tv star, or a bill buckner? Thats a big risk to take.
tatoo of your dead infant memorial- The future generation will see you had a kid who died in infancy. they can only assume this is due ot your poor genes and you are a subpar petorfied Mummy. they will use you for tests and disecting for college classes and put someone elses mummy in the smithsonian display.
Band tatoo around arm- Future generations will see this a lot in mummys and think it was a way the government marked dumb white jocks who do Jager bombs.
Tattoo of a person or figure such as grim reaper or hot chick- The future generations will see your most likely a lazy prick cuase you went to a tatoo artist and didnt really investigate his portfolio only to learn to late that the tattoo guy isnt really a great artist cause he cant draw the tricky Human Hand too good. this will be noted by the grim reapers six fingers, or hidden hands such as a hot chic sitting on her hands concealing the hands with her butt.
Facial tatoos- future generations are going to look at you and go "really? " and laugh much like there ancient ancestors did at you.
Japanese words in japanese writing- People will notice your not japanese and wonder why you got japan words on you. Best speculation will be that you did it cause you loved someone japanese who got a english word tattoed on there body. If japan is not in the ocean by then, huge searches of graveyards will take place with people looking for a jap with "peace" or "honor" on them.
Tramp stamp- Future generations will see this and call it "slutty back tatoo" till someone comes up with the much better name "tramp stamp". Mummies will be displayed with back facing viewer, butt covered and a series of clamps stretching back fat towards stomach so people can see it was a butterfly or something.
All various other tattoos- Future generations are sure not going to think your "GI Joe cobra commander logo" or mess of dragons swords and fire tattoos are cool. They are more likely to assume that you being covered in ink makes you more flamable, thus using you for heat. The first person that discovers your body will steal your piercings to steal hoping the metal is valuble.
Sports teams/ band names- In the future, Marylyn manson, Pantera, or Motorhead tattoos are going to sound a lot like "blue oyster cult" or "yes" or "uriah heap" do now but much much worse. Even bands that stand the test of time may not impress future generations . Sure that Led Zepplin tatoo looks nice and some Led Zepplin was great, but future generations may not have Zepplin 2 or 4 that got destroyed in a fire, but have the whiny albums where he whines and whines non stop. As for sports teams, did you know the Kansas City Royals were really good in the 70's and early 80's? Most teams dont stand the test of time and will either suck or not exist then, making you look like someone would look today with a "Seattle Pilots" or "motreal expos" tatoo.
Heres a bonus picture of tattooing i found on facebook htat some chic i wnet ot school with commented on (im afraid she ll find this and come and kill me). I tried to make a "add your own caption" contest on rotten for this one . i came up with something like "the young reencarnation of the Fratelli lady from goonies (now with more tattoos)"
Powered by | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|
|
|
|