So I am really wanting to go to SF Mecca Immersion. I have gotten some funding from my dad...i.e. Birthday present. but that only covers half of the cost of the register price. the rest hopefully I can pay him. The only thing i am stressing about is the hotel room. The is quite a bit of cash dollah to pay when i don't really have that. If any of you local dancer friends of mine would like to split the hotel costs with me that would crazy cool. This is a fantastic opportunity for any tribal belly dancer. let me know! Plus....it's three days after my birthday....yay.

It's true they do....all the time.

So today as I am waiting for my statistics class to begin I was waiting outside the classroom in the cold. A guy in my class walked up to me and we started talking about the project we were to turn in...then out of nowhere he asked if I was wearing my flower in my hair today. He couldn't tell because as it was freeeeeezing cold and my hoods were up. I was stunned. Someone who saw me only a few times a week for a few weeks noticed that I have a pattern, and noticed a change in that pattern. A few may say that it seems like he may have a romantic interest, but I don't think so. It would not matter anyway because I wouldn't act on it.

The fact is that people who only know you by face from class can notice the tiniest things, yet the people who spend time and precious moments with you never notice. I have noticed that if you are around the same person subtle changes in behavior or habit go unnoticed. A different hairstyle, new clothes, just something small....goes unnoticed by those we care for most. It hurts to make these small changes and have no effect on those we care for. I know it is for me at least. There are reasons for small things...they shouldn't go unnoticed. There is a reason why I wear my hair down today, instead of putting it up. Or there is a reason why I did my make-up, or shaved my legs, or wore the shirt you like, maybe if to just get a little attention.

Humans need some form of attention, they can live without compliments. Many say they do not care what people think of them, and to a certain degree that can be true. Though why do we buy new clothes when the old ones will do just fine? Why do we extend ourselves if it is beyond our means. We do them because deep down we all want to be accepted. Whether it be from family or a new group of friends, everyone wants to feel like they belong. With seeking for this acceptance especially from new friends or old, we cannot forget those who have been there. The people who have already accepted you. We cannot forget the people you can rely on. We tend to push away the people who care for us. We feel that if they accept us already why keep trying...but that is just it. You have to keep trying because if you are not there for those people who have been good to us, they will no longer be there for you. Human nature compels us to want acceptance from the people we care about, but if they do not care....should we care for them anymore. I have been dealing with these inner thoughts fro sometime, for one reason or another.

Please if anyone reads this let me know you thoughts on this.

So. what a whirlwind life can be. With the new year coming...I think i will make some resolutions....even though i said I wasn't going to make any.  So here it goes.

Dance more...I haven't been dancing much..that's gotta change.

Be more tolerant of people. i have been so cynical lately....

Meditate more. I miss just being.

Don't lose focus of my ultimate goal.

Sing more...I miss belting it out.

Do my hair more...i know it sounds Superficial, but I have gotten lazy lately.

I think with some new goals to accomplish and a new optimism i will be able to accpet life as it comes and not fight it.