A poetry group has been banned from performing in its local pub - on health and safty grounds.

The Royal Standard in Ely, Cambs, has been threatened with a £5,000 fine because it has an entertainment licence for only singing and not speaking.

It forced landlord Richard Whitmore to call time on the Turning Point poetry group which had been drawing in customers on quiet Tuesday evenings.

East Cambridgeshire District Council insists there are sound reasons for the different licences, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Principal environmental health officer Elizabeth Bailey said: "We have licences for all sorts of reasons - fire and police need to check it is safe - it is not just us being petty. There need to be certain checks in place."

But playwright Paola Trimarco, 46, who heads the group, said: "The council are being ridiculously bureaucratic and looking to pick on someone.

"There isn't a lot going on in Ely on week nights. Do they want Ely to be another boring little market town? It seems the council say they want to support new events and then contradict themselves."

Mr Whitmore, 43, said: "It's trivial and pathetic. We've got a licence for 200 burly men to bounce around to whatever music they want, but not for a small number of quiet people to have a talk.

"When they give recitals it's not even amplified. They just get up and speak."

If so please contact us at winstonsdrunkpoetssociety@gmail.com, with the subject line: Drunk Poets Feature.

Please note that we will use myspace, email, and flyers (if provided by the performer) to promote.  It is, however, up to the feature to do their own leg work for the most part i.e. invite your friends, co-workers, classmates, etc.

Compensation for the feature is an open bar tab partly on Winstons and partly on myself, that is if you decide to drink like you mean it.

If you are not from the San Diego area don't fret.  Contact us and we should be able to provide low, and I mean low, cost accomodations at a local non-profit hostel.  We just ask that you be respectful to your hosts at all costs.

Features appear once per month, typically the third Monday of the month, but this is negotiable.

A typical feature night consists of the first ten people to sign up for the open mic, a short break, then approximately 30-45mins for the feature.  You are free to sell any merchandise, i.e. books, t-shirts, cd's, etc., as long as it is legal.

Any other inquiries should be directed to us as either a myspace message, or an email to winstonsdrunkpoetssociety@gmail.com.

Attention all drunken poets!  Due to our lack of consideration to time constraints and others we need to get our asses in gear.  Thus, from now on only fifteen readers will read on normal Monday nights.  They will get five minutes a piece on the mic.  The sign up will be first come first read.  Sign ups will begin at 6pm, and continue until fifteen people have signed up.

On feature nights, like this coming Monday and the Monday after (See my blog for details), only the first ten people to sign up will read with the rest of the time going to the feature.

These changes should make for a much more fast paced and poetry oriented enviroment.  They should also please the people who own and operate Winston's, whom we are forever indebted to for allowing us mic time and space to do our poetic thing.  That is all, see you Monday.

Ok you know the drill, my last line becomes your first line and so on and so on into infinite...

Fuckin' heliocopter

Outside the window

Won't shut the fuck up!

Ok all, I'm getting bored again and I want new stuff to read from you all.  So do this exercise...But! the catch is do it in one minute.  That is write for only one minute, you can think about it first.

You are an inanimate object of your choice, (select something in your room with you like your computer or a painting or whatever). Without saying what you are, write a descriptive paragraph about yourself that helps others to discover what you are as they read. Speak from first person, bringing yourself "to life". You can't say in the piece what it is that you are. Be creative and incorporate all the senses.

My example:

The sweet cool breeze through me blows as I stare about outside, inside the window.  It pains me to be wedged between your panes and transfer your breath before you breath it into your living room, making you sneeze on kicked up dust and cat hair.

Window Fan

Ok ready...set...Go!

9 out of 10 drunk poets agree, these websites are kickin'.

www.poets.org

collections of poetry and audio, recdiscover your roots with this cool site.

www.everypoet.org

get your poetry ripped to shreds, or at least laugh at others who do, by the stuck up world of internet academia.

www.collectivepurpose.org

home of the elevated poets, and the new face of the san diego poetry slam, if i'm not mistaken.

www.poetix.net

poetry news news news!

www.sdwritersguild.org

want to get published?  this could be the place for you.

www.maddox.xmission.com

ok ok nothing to do with poetry, but how can you go wrong with a pirate who writes obnoxious editorials.

enjoy!

I want to say thank you to all the local poets who inspired me to start and continue the poetry society in OB. I am retiring as hostess of OB's favorite poetry reading this year! It's been extremely rewarding and I am so lucky to have met and heard some of San Diego's finest poets over the last few years. My last official day of hosting will be the second Monday in December of 2007. After that, Winston's is going to continue supporting poetry and the society, and I've already booked some awesome features from SD, Nor Cal, and LA for 2008 -so keep supporting! Chris Vannoy will guest host until 2008 when a new host will be named to take my place.

Thank you to all the poets, dedicated audience members, Winston's staff, comedic sound guys, daves & rudys & ians, features with props & jenga, and supportive friends who helped make these past few years amazing!! I know I'm not moving to Mongolia or anything (not yet anyway) but I am very appreciative of you!

sincerely,

Ola Hadi

p.s. and Thank YOU to Dave Proulx who will be taking over being our drunk poets myspace guru, you can expect to see some updates to the site soon