So, I was cruising around myspace today in the alumni section - ya know, people that graduated from B.H.S. in 2002? And I noticed that almost everyone I clicked on (and, granted, I didn't click on everyone because there are some I could give two shit's and a rat's ass about) had damn blog entries.

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't realize people actually used those things. Or rather, I guess I never really got the point. I mean, I'm pretty sure no one ever reads them. I had a blog once. No one read it. And if they did, I never heard about it (in other words: no comments). So, therefore, I have come to the aforementioned conclusion.

Now you are wondering why I'm actually typing up a blog if I think no one is going to read it anyway, yes? Well, the answer is simple: Baaaaaaaa!

Haha - no I'm just fuckin' with ya. Come on. Let's face it: If you know me from high school then you know that I was far from the girl that tried to fit in with everyone else. I think I was called "weird" more times (and this includes by my own friends) than the weirdest person at the school. I kept to my small group of friends, and was quite happy for it (I've also been told that I was just a snob, but I think that's a crock of shit – I knew the snob's, and I wasn't one of them).

Honestly, I never understood the whole popularity thing. It seemed to me that it would be more trouble than it was worth. Constantly running around trying to be someone you're not, and trying to fool everyone else at the same time? Sounds like a lot of unnecessary work. I remember when I came to that realization. I was 15. A sophomore. I barely knew myself, but I did know that I wasn't what "they" wanted me to be. And I had to just learn to live with it. And I did.

Granted, there were days when I wished I could disappear into the brainless, personality-deprived, mush that was the "popular life" (mainly because of hot guys –coughs-), but I would quickly come to my senses when I would catch those "popular" people with a far away glint in their eye's that screamed they just wanted to escape. I may have wanted a lot of things while I was in high school, but "escaping" wasn't one of them. As a matter of fact, I hated the truth that I was going to have to graduate. And it wasn't fear that made me hate that day. So don't fool yourself.

I loved high school and I even loved the people there. Yes, this includes the "popular" people and even the not so popular. They all, in their own way, had lessons to teach. I didn't realize it then, but I get it now. Just how important high school is to who you will become – if you just let it be. If you stand always for the right of things, and don't lose yourself in the insanity of the "cool" activities (i.e. drugs and other things that go hand in hand with that category), you come out shining, and your life, after high school, places you in shoes that you actually made for yourself, not shoes made by others.

I'm going to be 23 years old in a month. I haven't the faintest fucking clue as to where my life is taking me. I know who I am though. And so I know I'll be all right. My dreams don't have to come true for me to lead a happy life. Granted, my dreams coming true would be absolute bliss (in every sense of the word), but my dreams coming true would also be a lot of other people's worst nightmare.

We'll see how it goes. …………………………………

No matter what though, don't lose yourself in the mess that you're told is "standard". It's not standard. It's bullshit. I know the younger generations of my family are reading these words, so I hope you're hearing me. If you let others run your life, you'll never escape. And if you do manage to escape, it won't be unscarred. Immersing yourself in lies is the same as being a crack addict. It's an addiction that's hard as hell to break, because it is so easy to just fit in. It's so much easier to be like everyone else. But you can't.

I read on a certain someone's profile, this quote: "Born an original, won't die a fake."

Do me a favor and always practice what you preach.