NOAH


In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another
Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the
Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard.... but no ark.

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for
a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the height limitations.  We had to go to the Development Appeal Board
for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be
posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead
bstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I
argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!
When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights
group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their
will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it
was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying
to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many
minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trades
unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union
workers with Ark building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS
seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally
with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean,
You're not going to destroy the world?".

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

this is some shit i whipped up for my friends and family..... FEEL PRIVELEDGED IF YOU THINK THIS APPLIES TO YOU.......

 

Far away from home,

Evil thoughts plague my dome,

If only I had charged my cellular phone,

So I could call for help like I always do,

Got myself in a jam, so what else is new?

what you need to do is stand on your own two,

tell people youre a man and know its true,

I listened to moms, so I show and prove,

Do the best I can, whether I win or lose,

I thank God for my fam, friends and my girl,

They give me riches more precious than diamonds and pearls,

Though my pockets be empty, im on top of the world,

I dont swallow my pride, cuz I just might hurl,

Im lactose intolerant, I dont deal with cheesy cats,

I deal with Goodfellas that bang aluminum bats,

And manage to do more damage than firing gats,

I sound really ignorant, way below my IQ,

Camoflauged with fake ignorance I walk right thru,

Past initial doubts of my intentions being true,

Once you let your guard down, its curtains for you,

Cuz whoever doubts me is in for a surprise,

My success is imminent like gas prices rise,

Lots of well wishers with green in their eyes,

Cant walk in my shoes, they aint your size,

Theyve walked amongst angels, and kicked it with demons,

Walked on red carpets and ran on grey cement,

They got scuffs and dirt on em, hard times the reason,

Change is mandatory, like the climate and season,

When I get the opportunity, for sure imma seize it,

FamBam, I have you to thank, please believe it...

just somethin i whipped together right quick.....

ey yo, the return of the lord got you gathered in one accord,
 praying for a blessing from my vocal cords,
 competition gets tore to the core like macintosh,
 acting soft will get my gats clappin off, and clappin on,
 ey yo its the clapper,rappers actin dapper ill write your final chapter,
please believe it dont end happily ever after,
ill even make a movie script, cast ur favorite actor,
then ill break ur arms, tell ur fans i cast they favorite actor,
muthafuckers goin deaf, cuz theres way too much laughter,
ill sell you pipedreams, like your favorite pastor,
jack of all trades, of all trades im a master,
you cant compete like coke next to shasta,
like jesus on the cross,too painful to hang with i, 
like icarus was told when he started to fly,
dont get close to da son, or you gone fry,
dont play me low or you get wet n you die,
nigga got close to me, the heat made him wet,
another dead victim with no pride or respect,
all over some bullshit nobody expects,
ya betta check yourself like cube n das efx.......

WORD UP........ KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR ME, IM EVERYWHERE............

EY YO, SHOGUN REVEREND, KEEP IT REAL WITH MY BRETHREN, APPREHEND SKILLED VETERANS STILL ATTACHED TO THEY REGIMEN, VERSATILE LYRICIST, YOULL FIND NONE BETTER THAN, FERNY ELBOWZ AKA THE BENEVOLENT, LAKE AVENUES MY HOME, AKA MY RESIDENCE, WHERE WE DONT PUFF ROACHES, WE BURNIN ELEPHANTS, FEARLESS HYENA ROAMIN THE FLATLANDS, SCATTERED CARCASSES THAT DIED AT OUR HANDS, ITS LIKE THE PRESIDENT WALKIN THRU 9-11 ACTIN LIKE THE SON OF MAN, CARRYING OUT THE NWO'S PLANS FOR IRAN, IM JUST AS CUTTHROAT, HANZO HATTORI ON THE TRACK, SHOGUNS AND ROSES, DA RONINS WITH THORNS ON THEIR BACK.... Word em up......... =)

...IS A GLORIOUS DAY..... FERNY ELBOWZ REIGNS DOMINANT, HOORAH, HOORAH......... EY YO, U STAND AGAINST THE CHAMP, ONE MAN ARMY AGAINST UR CAMP, U CAN BET IMMA SHINE LIKE AN OIL LAMP, FLAME SIZZLIN, YOU CANT SAVE EVERYONE, THATS A GIVEN, CANT TURN BACK WHEN I HIT DA BLUE RIBBON, AINT NO WINNIN WHEN I START SINNIN, U ASSED OUT LIKE SOME LEATHER CHAPS,SAYIN SHOOK LIKE CRAPS IS AS TIRED AS GAT RAPS, BACKPACKS AND TRACKS FROM TALENTLESS HACKS THAT NEED TO PULL THE JACK, AND GET OUTTA THE MATRIX, REALITY, TIME FOR YOU TO FACE IT, QUIT RAPPIN ABOUT ROBOTS, QUIT RAPPIN ABOUT SPACESHIPS, OR GET UR FACE SPLIT WITH GRACE QUICK, KUNG FU FACELIFT FROM A POWER STRAIGHT FIST.......... YEAH, MORE BATTLE RAP LYRICS..... I THINK STARTING TOMORROW I WILL USE THEMES IN MY RAPS...... MEH WELL SEE.....

Werd....... my revolver's revenge revolves around a reverend, apprehend the upper hand by declaring war within, we cant have the company of weaker men, defend against their meager sins to protect our holy regimen, suspect everyone and everythin, accept nothin but excellence by those within my residence, respect the convalescensce of my elder friends, maturity beyond my temperance, elements of ignorance free of my reverance, expect competence beyond most common sense, tolerance of leakin evidence not among my preference, chastice foolishness the truth falsely implements......... meh, mostly a play on words...... too lazy to continue.....

WITHOUT DOPE RHYMES TO ADMIRE.......... OK HERE WE GO........ EY YO, POLICE SURVEIL MY PRESENCE, BUT CANT PREVAIL AGAINST MY ESSENSE, NO MATTER HOW MANY JW COWARDS CALLS THEY GET, THEY COME THRU, POINT GUNS, FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES, KNOWING THEY LIKE WINNIE DA POOH STIRRING UP DA HIVE, WE REMAIN CALM, WHICH GETS EM MORE NERVOUS, CUZ THEY KNOW ONE FALSE MOVE AND THEY FAMILY IN SERVICE, OR MAYBE NOT, I DONT KNOW HOW THEYRE RELIGION WORKS, NIGGAZ SO ASS BACKWARDS,THEY WERE BORN IN A HEARSE, AND THEY DIE IN DA CRIB, EVERYTIME YOU SEE ME, LOOK AWAY IF YA WANNA LIVE, CUZ WE KNOW WHERE YA WORK, AND WE KNOW WHAT YOU DO, ONLY THING WE DONT KNOW IS WHY YOU AINT MOVED, OR AT LEAST CONFRONT DA KID, INSTEAD OF CRYING TO MY POPS OR LYING TO THE COPS, KEEP ACTIN PUSSY AND THAT HYMANS GETTIN POPPED LIKE CHERRY COKE, NEIGHBORS ALL THINK YOUR A JOKE, THEYLL ALL WILL SIDE WITH ME IF IM PROVOKED, IM A LAKE STREET VETERAN, CAPITOL LIKE A LETTERMAN, TAKE IT TO THE OCTAGON, SEE WHOS THE BETTERMAN, NIGGAS TALKIN KENPO, NIGGAS HANDS CANT EVEN REACH MY TEMPLES, BUD BUNDY, HAHA KARATE MASTA, IM TOO HIGH FOR YOU LIKE A DEDICATED RASTA.........

REAL QUICK........ EY YO, FERN DA ELBOW THROWA WILL KILL A WHISTLEBLOWA, IM DA RAP EDWARD NIGMA AKA RIDDLEFLOWA, STREET OPERATIVE LASER DART THROWA, MORE OR LESS MORALESS, DA MORAL IS ORAL FIST, POUNDING YOUR CONFIDENCE, HURT YOU FROM L.A. TO PROVIDENCE, TRY SOME RECONNAISANCE AND IM ABUSING UR LACK OF COMMON SENSE.........