Happy New Years Everyone! This is going to be one FABULOUS year. Last year was . . . . I think we all know what last year was. If you didn't have balls before you definitely have them now. And they are pure metalic.

Last year for me was definitely a huge learning lesson. Too bad Mr. Rogers isn't around anyore to make catastrophes seem a little lighter. But that is what comedy is for.

And that is what last year was:

Beautifully Catastrophic.

Dear John Mayer,

I am obviously really bored at the moment to be writing a pretentious celebrity via myspace but I am just compelled to write you of my complete disgust . . .

Your music is ok. Just stick with that please. I'm embarrassed for even buying your cd in the past because you've turned out to be such a total douche bag.

Sure, I don't know you . . . and I don't care to know you. Just keep playing your guitar, keep your dick in your pants, and sing bitch.

You're trying to prove what a player you are and even worse:
That you're the leaste bit funny or witty. Ugh.

You are a total Media Sell Out.  Is this something you really want to live with? 

Is not being a good artist with integrity enough? Sure, we all have our vices. But dating starlets to dump them out of pure insecurity really proving anything?

Moral of the story is,

Stop trying to be a "Playa": you aint all that.

Stop trying to be "funny" PLEASE by the GRACE of GOD. PLEASE stop trying to be "funny". Do it for the handicap kids.

Thanks for letting me take this moment to be honest,

Sincerely,

Carmel

 

 

 

Just to update on my living situation I am now living in a bad ass loft in downtown Los Angeles.  It has been a rather refreshing change and I love being in a really artistic space.

I plan to have a lot of cool events in the future: Art shows, Stand Up shows, High on Life parties, etc. so I'll let all my "normal" not threatning, non-psycho friends know in the future. Sorry, but my serial killer myspace friends from the midwest are not welcome. And to the 8th graders I'm sorry but you can't come either.

But just to sum things up I have not even reached the two year anniversary in L.A. and I have lived in more counties than your average gypsy. Well, I'm definitely not your average gypsy that is for damn sure. Let's do a list shall we?

Sept through June of 2007:  A total of three different apartments in

West Hollywood

June through January: A condo share in

Culver City

January through Mid January: Apt share with psycho drunk for a mere two weeks back in

West Hollywood

February through May: A homes in a troll's village in

Venice

May through June: Sharing a two bedroom in

Runyan Canyon

June through Mid- July: House sitting in the hills of

Silver Lake

Mid-July though Aug: Two weeks in my

Car

August to Now: 7 prescious days so far  in

Downtown

 

Yeah, so I think I know L.A. a little too well at this point. What is next? We shall see. But I hope to stay in Downtown. It is a very progressing, emerging scene and I've tested all the other place which were all pretty great. But there is something about downtown that feels very promising and very solid. Like I said, we shall see;)

So today I am walking when I see a dandelion. I pick it up off the ground it and makes me realize a few things. The first is always the awareness that there is someone who is watching me do this with a bewildered look upon their face. But they don't realize the true opportunity in doing so. This dandelion and it's many seeds speak to me on such a deep level that no mushrooms could ever.

So basically as the seeds are dislodging softly and slowly from their plant bed they whisper sweet nothings into my soul's ear.

They are saying to me that the only seeds worth planting are the ones inside. If the seeds within are not nurtured within then there is no real growth. There is no abundance. There is no light. Seeds begin in darkness but need the necessity of light to reach upwards. If there is no fertile ground, just a vacuum of the hole in your soul then you are doomed. Everyone has a hole in their soul. That is why we are all addicts of some sort. We just keep trying to fill that hole with distractive matter and a huge gap of unawareness. It is the true awareness, the true acknowledgement of our innate emptiness that we can fill this hole with fertile ground and not feel like we are forever just drifting though sheer walls of illusion. It is doing what we originally love to do that grounds us in life.

Another very important realization is that we are always looking from without to plant our seeds and rely on others to water our hopes and dreams. Or to at least acknowledge them.

And this is for my 8th grader friends: Only YOU know your true worth. How others treat you depends on how you treat yourself. Be your greatest potential and others will follow your lead.

And just to make it clear, we do benefit from others who shine like us or brighter and this makes for a stronger light. And those who don't . . . then set the example. Be the light, but don't give your light away.

I know now too, as I have gone back to where it all began, that the stage, the theatre  is my fertile ground. It is what originally led me into my love of stand up comedy.  And a deeper understanding of life. Now I know that I don't have to go anywhere. I just need to stand still . . . on the stage of life.

 

Note: I promise you dear friends that I am not under the influence of any drugs. I am entirely sober unless msg counts . . . I am proud to say once again that I AM HIGH ON LIFE!

 

 

 

So alas it has again been a while since I've written but life has been . . . well . . . life. I was definitely right when I said that this year was going to be challenging and it definitely has been.

There are many stories to tell and so little time. And it will all come out in my blogs in time. Again, I am processing all of the trauma and THEN seeing the humor in it. Comedy is an organic, alchemical transition people. And if I didn't sort though it first, my writing of events may be seen as mere indecipherable symbols.

This year has been good and bad. Up and down. Stale and at times excilerating.

In short, I just spent the last two weeks living in my car. Though I've spent a night or two in my car before in the past, never was it this consistant. Though a couple of friends had me over on their couch here in there, much of my time was freaking out in my car, parked in a desolute church parking lot, surrounded by green ivy. It was only in the early morning that I was woken up by alanon goers. I pulled my chair upright, snapped my bra back on, and drove to work.

A lot of times I spent thinking how I got myself in that situation in the first place which was obvious. I put myself there. But still, how could I let things get that bad?

Nothing makes you face the reality of yourself more than your rearview mirror staring back at you in the face, night after night. I looked like a deer in headlights. Stunned out of my shelter. Would things get better? Would things get worse? My car has been in line for repossesion. Would I happen upon my car one day to find it - no longer parked, but dragging along the freeway back to it's birth home in Marina Del Ray? But there it sat. My storage in transition. My life moving forward in the guise of a screeching hault.

My dream of living near the beach finally came true last month. I moved to Venice and my life hasn't been the same since.

For those of you who do not realize, living in Venice is like drinking a shot of liquid acid and left to roam around the streets where every other block is filled with million dollar lofts with million dollar crack houses sandwiched in between. Then go dive into the ocean to warsh your tainted soul.

But I live in neither of these situations. I was led by God, the Universe, a group of invisible trolls, however you want to describe it, to this house on 5th Avenue off of Rose.

I have a total of 12 roommates. I share a room with a girl and I sleep/cry on a mattress on the floor.

This place is called an intentional community. A transitional home. the owner is this mafia wannabe member who brings us the house essentials: toilet paper, paper towels, Peanut Butter, and pancake mix. Oh and how can I forget: foil. It's included in the rent. So is the internet in which I am ever so grateful for.

I am actually very grateful for it all. I live with an array of very interesting people and despite not being able to pay my rent or bills for about a month I was given a second chance but things were looking pretty grim. I almost had to sleep in a day bed in a women's shelter in downtown L.A. but we will just leave it at that.

Alright, I don't know who came up with the "verfication code" but I find it very annoying. Is it trying to keep out the illiterate? And how about the blind people of My Space? Well . . . besides that, the blind are pretty much screwed in the socializing department . . .

I am in the process at 4 a.m., trying to get an early start on wishing everyone a "Happy New Year". It's enough that I have to stop and spell out "Happy New Year", but then to also write out the ever so redundant, "verification code" .. . is beyond me.

Serial killers know the alphabet Tom, and so do most people who pose as spammers and other forms of human bacteria . . .

And the whole, comment screening bs . . . I've gotten a few indecent, perhaps graphic comments here and there . . .tough it out people - it's not so bad . . . don't make the rest of us suffer . .

I think there should instead be a psychological test - to find out whether or not you're psychotic . . . but then there goes more than half of my friends . . .

Happy New Year!

I mean,  Happy YnO8m3 !

The Year 2007 was quite interesting, definitely a hell of a lot of endings . . . I don’t want to depress anyone with the details but lets just say that by New Years Eve I just curled up into my blanket in the notorious fetal position, thanking the universe over and over that I made it through . . .

 

But all was not lost of course . . .

 

I did after all get a new 2007 Matrix, and in .. L.A. a new car is EVERYTHING . . . I could be living in my car and I would still be considered "in" . . . .

 

And for the holidays I was not able to spend it with my loving and supportive parents . . . But I did get to meet new people in Hollywood  to drink alchoholic eggnog and do drugs with.

 

I think 2007 was a great year of deep reflection, self-pity, and mourning . . . and I definitely learned much.

 

Now to 2008 – it will be a very hard-working and challenging year but definitely productive and I look forward to all of it!

 

Happy New Year to All and to All a Good DAY!

Much Blessings,

Carmel

NOW I'm getting pissed. People are actually rejecting comedians. When I tried to request at least a few people earlier it responded autimatically with:" " " DoesNotAcceptFriendRequests Comedians".

Its not like we're as annoying as musicians ... well maybe in a different way. . . But I am a real person damn it. I need friends too! And Comedians are the very last people who should be rejected.

Why are these snotty my space social climbers being so selective anyhow . . . are the special group of friends they hoard belong to some kinky fetish party or some boring sex toy lesbian club . . .

That's just it,, I'm not against lesbians or anything but so far they have been the only ones to specifially shut out comedians . . .

I need to go take a walk.

 

 

Yeah  . . . so if you know about seven people then send them my way;)

Some of you may be wondering why I have a picture of a fire going for my profile shot instead of the usual and blissful headshot of myself that you all are used to seeing. "Why the fire?" Some of my serial killer friends might question.

Does it mean that I am heating up a spoon full of heroin? No - actually, as a matter of fact it doesn't.

I'm burning down the house. I'm shedding the old self in order to allow the new, freshly born baby skinned self such as I to be let forth. In short - I just took some new pictures recently and are about to put them up.

Be prepared for renewal my friends. Things are about to get metaphysically different.

 

~ C

Update: Yeah . . . about those pictures . . .  not ready but they are on their way. Alchemical transformation has taken a lot longer than I anticipated.