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STEPHANIE L. JONES-THE ENEMY BETWEEN MY LEGS

Stephanie L. Jones


Last Updated: 12/1/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 34
Sign: Sagittarius

City: Detroit
State: Michigan
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/25/2006

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Saturday, December 27, 2008 
Click HERE to listen to the audio version of this blog.

Did you happen to catch last week's episode of Keyshia Cole's reality show, "The Way It Is?"  I can hear some of you now, "Stephanie, I don't watch reality TV."  Believe me, I understand!  However, when my husband woke me up in the wee hours of the morning, 3:30 a.m. to be exact, telling me that I had to watch Keyshia's show 'right now,' I turned over, grunted angrily at him, and tuned in as much as I possibly could.

"What do a female supposed to think when they already been touched by 8 different people and they already think, Oh well, I done been touched by this person, that person, that person, so it don't matter if I have sex?"  

(Verbatim)

I never made it back to sleep.  Within 2 minutes, I was sitting straight up, and by 3:37 a.m., I was pecking at full speed on my computer.  Did this young girl just say what I thought she said, something that I have been trying to get people to understand for years now?  Yes, she did!

Let me bring you up to speed just in case you didn't see the show.  Keyshia's sister, Neffe, who during a previous episode mentioned that she'd been molested as a child, was speaking for a non-profit organization. During this particular visit she was addressing the issue of HIV, AIDS and sex with a group of teenage girls when one of them hit her with that question. 

There was dead silence in the room.  Faces drooped and dropped.  No one said a word until finally one of the staff members spoke up and told Neffe that many of the girls had been molested and sexually abused.  Neffe's response, "Ooohh…"  They went to a commercial break.

Sigh…

I could go in a thousand different directions with this, from talking about the link between child molestation and teenage pregnancy and abortion to sharing with you the conversation that I had with an older gentleman this week who told me flat out, "I was molested, but loved it!"  I could really spark the fire with talking about the link between homosexuality and child molestation.  And as I sit here pecking away at full speed even now, I'm thinking that I should push the envelope and discuss parental sexual abuse.  What?  A parent molesting their own child?  Yes!  I received an email this week from a young lady struggling to overcome years of sexual abuse she suffered at the hands and mouth of her mother.  It happens every day.  It's happening somewhere right now. 

But, I'll stop here for now and just let you pause and think about the young lady's question: "What do a female supposed to think when they already been touched by 8 different people and they already think, Oh well, I done been touched by this person, that person, that person, so it don't matter if I have sex?"  

Please, don't ever call another teenager "a fast little girl." 

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 8 of The Enemy Between My Legs:

FAMILIES UNDER SIEGE –CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL ABUSE

One year, while attending a fundraising dinner, I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Robbie Haynes, Founder of the Women of Virtue Development Institute (WOVDI).  Not long after we met, she phoned me to talk about her desire to help teenage girls, specifically in the area of teenage pregnancy.  Here is a woman whom I barely knew, yet I found myself sharing my deepest secret with her.  "If you want to cut down on teenage pregnancy, you must address the issue of child sexual abuse and molestation," I told her.  "No one could tell me not to have sex at 13 years old.  I (Stephanie L. Jones) wanted to have sex.  It was all that I knew.  I had been taught about sex since I was kid, and I didn't want to stop.  I didn't want to be a virgin," I continued. 

Be encouraged… be inspired… and to all of those that have endured child molestation… be healed… Also, be sure to visit me at www.stephanieljones.com.

God Bless You!

Click HERE to listen to the audio version of this blog.


Tuesday, December 09, 2008 

Current mood:Encouraged!






The Secret Life of Child Molestation


There’s been a lot of buzz lately about the movie, The Secret Life of Bees. Chances are, you’ve seen it or at least you’ve seen the television commercials.

Without going into a lot of details about the movie, let’s just say that two of the characters are living life on the run and there’s a secret they don’t want to get out.

Wow! I can definitely relate to this movie. One summer years ago, I packed my bags and ran all the way to Durham, North Carolina. Why? Because there were some things going down in Detroit, Michigan that I didn’t want to get out. However, just like for the characters in this movie, my problems followed me everywhere that I went.

Now that I think about it, I could probably pen a movie script myself based upon all of the secrets that I once kept and all the running that I did from my past. I know that I could write a movie from all of the letters, phone calls, and emails that I receive from people all over the world – sexual abuse victims – many of whom are on the run and keeping secrets about things that happened to them 10, 20, 30 and 40 years ago.


One of my friends, as I like to call those who reach out to me, recently ran all the way to Southern California. Another young lady that I met while traveling last month told me that she just had to leave the state of Georgia. It held too many bad memories for her. She didn’t know where she was going to go – but she was running somewhere.

Running and secrets…

Well, I decided that I had been running for far too long, and to be honest many of you have been too. People have been running, ducking, dodging, and avoiding dealing with some real serious issues in their lives… for far too long!

Well, it is time to stop running and keeping secrets!

I did a little research on bees and found out that there are thousands of known species of bees, but the actual number is unknown and perhaps much higher than recorded.

Well, just like the number of species of bees is unknown, so is the number of people that have been sexually abused. Some studies say that as many as 1 out 3 females and 1 out of 5 males are molested. However, because sexual abuse victims rarely report the abuse to anyone, the numbers could be higher, especially for males. Pause and think about that. One out of 3 females in your family.  One out of out of 5 males in your workplace. One out 3 females on your block. One out 5 males in your church, in your school, in your neighborhood. One out of 5 males gathered together watching Monday night football. Wow. Selah (pause and think about that).


I also learned something else about bees. Although bee stings can be fatal, virtually all bee species are non-aggressive if they’re left undisturbed. I can’t help but to think about the life that I once lived; a life of drugs, alcohol abuse, low
self-esteem and sexual promiscuity, and many other issues. I can’t help but to think about the fact that 96% of teen prostitutes are child molestation victims. I think about the fact that over 65% of teen pregnancies and abortions are preceded by sexual assault. I think about the link between sexual abuse and male violence, sexual dysfunction, failed marriages, alcohol and drug abuse, as well as many other issues that people struggle with daily. I think about these things and the fact that things could be very different for these individuals, if
like the bees, they’d been left undisturbed.