People, hello. We've been relaxing, not promoting anything, just playing shows, getting haircuts, not getting haircuts, and not updating our website, MySpace page, or even that pesky Facebook nonsense. But we have been Googling ourselves nonstop, and this just came through the wire today.

Note that we will actually release another record this year. We just finished it (mostly) and it's going to be, as they say, music. But here's a review for the record we recorded four years ago and put out last July:

To preview our show at Sam's Saloon next week (that's next week on Saturday, people!), NUVO published an interview we did last summer right before Feelin' Up came out. I (Dr. History Doctor) typed a *lot*. Pervert and Skye didn't type as much. That's about it. Come see us return to "form" next week in Bloomington and Indy! Bloomington on Friday the 16th at 111 E. 9th St. (The Clinic) and Indy on Saturday at Sam's Saloon. Shine on, people:

http://www.nuvo.net/music/article/condensed-stoner-rock-%E2%80%94-coke-dares

New record and upcoming show at Sam's Saloon

Regulars will already know how I feel about Bloomington garage rock trio The Coke Dares. After careful laboratory observation involving Bunsen burners, graduated cylinders and stacks of compact discs, I picked their second studio album, Feelin' Up, as my No. 8 record of 2008 by an Indiana performer, shortly before I passed out from the noxious fumes given off by the burnt plastic. So as I sit here in my iron lung, recovering from the organ damage and, um, polio, I ask myself, why am I so fond of The Coke Dares?

Well, it probably has a little to do with why I like Jonathan Richman, the Minutemen and They Might Be Giants, all bands to which The Coke Dares could be easily compared. From Richman, they take a manic energy, seemingly childlike, or a stoner sense of humor and talent for writing a simple, uncluttered but catchy punk song. From the Minutemen, they pick up an eclectic approach to the guitar-bass-drums trio and learn to not be afraid of saying only what needs to be said and then getting out of there (even if it only takes 30 seconds). Or maybe they get that from Wire or Guided by Voices (as lead singer Jason Groth mentions below). Or The Locust. And from They Might Be Giants, they may have picked up the idea of basing a song around just the fragment of a phrase, most notably on "Fingertips" from Apollo 18 - note "Fuck You, I Quit" from The Coke Dares' latest, on which the only lyrics are taken from the song title.

But if the album is good, the band is even more exciting and hilarious live. Groth hosted karaoke at the Bloomington bar The Bluebird and he's quite the funny MC, riffing on topics like the Martinsville Starbucks, the Creation Museum and history, popping off one-liners while tuning between songs (and closing by noting that when the band refers to Coke during the show, they're actually referring to Diet Coke).

The band spoke to me last year via e-mail. Here are a few excerpts. Note that their show at Sam's Saloon isn't until next Saturday, but things are busy next week (what with Otis Gibbs and Kings of Leon), and this interview is too good to keep to myself much longer.

The band spoke to me last year via e-mail. Here are a few excerpts. Note that their show at Sam's Saloon isn't until next Saturday, but things are busy next week (what with Otis Gibbs and Kings of Leon), and this interview is too good to keep to myself much longer.

NUVO: When and where was your first show?

Dr. History Doctor: We played our first show on February 28, 2002, at Second Story in Bloomington. We played second. We played twenty-five songs.
We didn't talk much between them, but I nervously said "thank you" because I wanted to let people know the songs were over. I have always done that, all the way back to my first band, Cadmium Orange. I would say "thank you" because there was nothing more awkward to me than people not knowing when to clap. Immediately after that first show people identified the "thank you" with The Coke Dares, but really it's just a nervous tic.
After the show I went to the Video Saloon where someone said the following to me: "Are you in that band that just played, The Coke Dares? You weren't good. You weren't really good at all." I'm pretty sure I responded with "Thank you!"

Pervert: The St. Louis arch. We got paid in summer sausage and old wood.

NUVO: Why such short songs? Do you ever wish you were in a jam band?

Dr. History: Mark Rice (Hamburger Party, Pervert), Pete Schriener (Skye Miles), and Jason Groth (Dr. History Doctor), started with the idea of being a cover band. We were all in other bands at the time (Impossible Shapes, John Wilkes Booze, Turn Pale) and, for myself, I wanted to be in a band that made enough money to support my original music habit. Mark and I would play Bad Company covers at Impossible Shapes practices. Pete had called me previously and asked if I wanted to start a Led Zeppelin cover band with him. It seemed like a match made in heaven.
When we got together for the first time, though, none of us had any covers ready. We had some originals, though, and we learned them with the idea that the covers would follow.
I had always loved Guided by Voices; I loved the "Fingertips" section of Apollo 18 by They Might Be Giants; "Field Day for the Sundays" by Wire, etc. And Dan Pacquette (A.P.E., Abner Trio) and I once talked about starting a band that was all choruses. The originals I came in with were short. Then the idea that our songs could be short — full songs, though, with verses, choruses, guitar solos — became really appealing.
We kept on not learning covers (although we would, at the beginning, play a different one every show) and our songs kept getting shorter until we thought "why not 25 songs in 25 minutes?"
That first winter — 2001-2002 — we wrote our first 25 songs. It was awesome.
That said, there are no limits for our songs. They can be as short or as long as we want them to be. We just find, I think, that most bands play too long, most songs run their course and then keep going, and there's often not a lot of energy, or rock, on stage. Our preferred method of songwriting insures that things never get boring for us or the audience — that is, unless the audience gets bored of short songs. Then they're screwed. But, come on, only 82% of the songs on our new record are less than a minute. I mean, some of our songs aren't that short.
And, yes, we want to be in a jam band. Watch out for The Smoke Dares!

Skye Miles: We get to play more songs that way. Imagine "Wonderful Tonight" with one chorus and a short, or no, solo: it would be 80% better.

Pervert: Oh m'god, jam bands! All length and no width. Lets see….my favorite jam bands have been the fake ones that we make up or that we prophesize about via the vehicle of bands stickers/posters on rock club walls. Metaphysical Jones rocks Bowling Green, Ohio. Unnecessary Modulation creates drum solos with sage leaves and smoke of the Druids. Can Candied Hamerica weaves intricate novelty "cultural" necklaces of deep-fried cloudy dank-dripping dirge for hours and hours…….etc.

NUVO: What's your day job?

Dr. History: I work in the Meetings Department of the Organization of American Historians. I and my boss are responsible for putting together the largest conference in the world dedicated to the dissemination of new scholarship related to American history. There are bigger history conferences, but none of them only focus on American history.
Anyway, The Coke Dares loves history because it's easy. We do not live in the past, though… that's impossible. And we also know that the past doesn't exist. Therefore, it's impossible to recreate the past, or, for that matter, make the same mistakes you have made in the past, because once it's gone it doesn't exist. In that way, we also hate history because we can't have it and don't understand it. Like most Americans we're afraid of what we don't understand – history, science, evolution, and especially science. We also embrace these things because people have told us we're punk rockers, and according to my non-historical dictionary, punk means doing everything you're told to not do or at least doing everything against tradition.
In other words, we say a lot of things about history on stage (not so much about organizing conferences though). Also, my job is awesome and they have graciously allowed me, and even encouraged me, to go on tour/make records/make a fool out of myself on public access television (maybe they haven't said to do the last thing explicitly, but whatever). I work a lot on the road but it keeps me from doing things like having constant drinking/eating contests. The world of wi-fi is wonderful.

Miles: I'm a carpenter. It gets hard to stay up late for shows during the week but, as long as I come to practice with all my fingers attached, it's fine.

Pervert: I put weather heads on houses, paint pet portraits, do interviews, destroy small objects, hit cylinders, sell trash at low low prices, and having a great attitude!

NUVO: Would you say you're all friends?

Dr. History: We all hang out when we don't have to. We all go see each other's bands that aren't our band. We actually call each other sometimes just to say hello. So, yeah, we're friends.
We're all in Magnolia Electric Co together. Mark and I play in the Impossible Shapes together. Pete and I played a couple of shows with The Watson Twins last spring. Pete and I were in a Neil Young cover band together. We do these things because we respect each other as musicians and we like hanging out.
If anything has threatened to undermine the band it's us being so busy with other things. One year Pete lived in St. Louis and we still managed to play a bunch of shows, put out an EP, and go on a couple of tours. We're dedicated to this because it's so much fun.

Miles: Laid-back hippies don't have time to fight.

Pervert: Skye Miles put a "COEXIST" bumper sticker on my truck. We high-fived and settled the dispute over a hot game of dice. Now Skye Miles owns that truck. He still gives me rides to the gas station into sometimes to buy chocolate donettes.

NUVO: How does it feel to have influenced knock-off bands in Bloomington?

Dr. History Doctor: It feels like an ice cold shower when it's 120 degrees outside and you've been wearing a rubber suit all day because you have to get your weight down so that you can wrestle the meanest wrestler in the state, Flip, but you still need to drop two pounds and finals are the next day.
It feels like a thick layer of milk chocolate inside of a sugar cone that's filled with French vanilla custard that you got for half price because you caught the guy behind the counter at the custard place staring at your teenaged daughter and the guy behind the counter must be, like, forty.
Like honey, lemon, and whiskey when your throat is killing you because you've been screaming at the TV because you can't believe Mr. Roper doesn't know Jack is in the closet and you know he's going to open it the closet and the dramatic irony is killing you.
Like a dog must feel when you're playing tug-of-war with it.
In other words, it's flattering.
It feels good.
It's unexpectedly satisfying.
It surprises me too.

Miles: I didn't know there we're more than one. It's funny kinda if someone has seen us first, but if not, it's just biting our style unless it's pushed to an excellent level.

Pervert: Guns and Roses and Michael Jackson are cool guys. They totally ripped us off and pay crazy royalties for it, but they're still cool guys.

NUVO: What kinds of things influence The Coke Dares?

Dr. History: History. Wire. The Minutemen. Guided By Voices. When people say things and they don't realize I'm listening and then I write a song using the exact words they said as the chorus. Grand Buffet. The Creation Museum. Bukowski? I mean, I've only read two books, but that style seems similar to ours, and I like it. Mark has read all of his books. Magazines — Pete writes songs after he reads magazine articles. NPR. Rush Limbaugh's drug habits. John McCain's polygamy and plastic surgery.

Miles: Good music and writing are great. The American school-system is the one that influenced me most.

Pervert: Scientology. Is there anything else? I've got some websites that will change your life. Gimme a call sometime and we can chat. No pressure, I just want you to be CLEAR.

NUVO: Aside from a three-car garage, what goals do you have for the Coke Dares?

Dr. History: We wouldn't mind being the first band in space. Aside from that, our goals are to get to shows on time, play the shows well, make enough money to get to the next show, and find a place to sleep after the show where we won't get killed and our stuff won't get stolen. We'd like to have a band credit card. We want to start a podcast. We want to have a show where we discuss historical topics called "The Coke Dares Make History." We'd like to play on the Dean's lawn. We'd also like to play on the Bloomington courthouse steps. We wouldn't mind being picked up by a bigger label. I'd like to be sponsored by American Heritage Magazine and Ernie Ball Power Slinkys. Oh, and we'd like to have a barbecue sauce named after us. For a brief moment the Bluebird in Bloomington named a drink after us. Wow.

Miles: Stop being called "Neanderthals."

Pervert: Surfboards. Lanyards. Shoes horns. Flags, lots of flags. We're takin' it to the streets.

NUVO: Tell me a story about the Coke Dares on the road.

Dr. History: We were on tour with Grand Buffet back in 2005. In Toledo we were offered a place to crash with one of their friends. We decided to go there instead of spending money on a hotel.
When we got to his house the door was locked and, instead of knocking on the door, he broke into his house in the back and came around and opened the front door. He told us his wife would kill him if he woke her up. The room in which we were supposed to stay was covered in food and dirty socks. There was a snake in a jar in the kitchen. Dirty dishes piled on dirty dishes. A *huge* television set.
The guy whose house it was told us to be careful with his son, who, he warned, might kick the hell out of us when he woke up in the morning. The guy then asked us if we liked laptops or big screen TVs because he could get us really good deals. When none of us answered he said, "Well, I guess none of you are in to that" and went to bed. He tried to turn on the alarm system, which wouldn't work, and then stumbled up to bed.
We all slept really fast that night, and as soon as we woke up, got out. Before we could get out, though, the guy woke up and was talking to us and, all of a sudden, his son woke up, jump-kicked him, and then they both beat each other up in front of us.
A few months ago we stayed on a couch called "Old Stainy" in Kalamazoo, Mich. In Nashville, Tenn., we were listed as "The Coke Bears." We played in a barn in upstate New York after Pete and Mark chopped a cord of wood. One time we put two used cat scratching posts on our merchandise table and they were the only things that sold that night. That barn in upstate New York may have been the best show we ever played (which included me reading excerpts from an unauthorized 1990 biography of Vanilla Ice). The worst place is probably the Springwater in Nashville, Tenn., when we got paid in summer sausage. Hard to say, though.

Miles: On one tour the tripometer in the van kept ending on "999" in every city.

Pervert: Best = Starbucks. Awesome Coffee. Worse = Starbucks. Diarrhea.

NUVO: Why'd it take so long to put out a new record? Are you happy with it?

Miles: The executive producer Jose Mignorance never got back to us — still hasn't — so what can you do? You wait.

Pervert: I glued it in every CD player at Montgomery Ward. I haven't heard any complaints yet.

NUVO: How does The Coke Dares experience translate to record? Did you think about including monologues or is that for a live record?

Dr. History: We didn't really start talking a lot at our shows until late 2005 as a result of a bunch of things — mostly being on tour with Grand Buffet, who taught me that there shouldn't be any dead time on stage. Our songs are so short that tuning breaks seemed to take forever. Also we have a lot to say about things like Starbucks, especially the one in Martinsville, history, John McCain's plastic surgery and his obtaining a marriage license while still legally being married to another woman, the fact that John McCain doesn't know what words mean, how excited we were when the Creation museum opened, how pissed we were when we found out it was $25 to get in and that it isn't scientific and, in fact, it's not based on fact at all, that dinosaurs and man coexisted, at least in the Creation museum, and that we were responsible for all of the eucalyptus in Florida.
So, you see, these things are all very temporary things that might not translate to record very well. So we kept the monologues off. Occasionally we do sets where there is no talking and every song runs into each other. We had, in fact, just won $3,000 doing that very thing right before we recorded the new album and thought it would be a good idea to make the record that way, too. So far we haven't won $3,000 again.
We'll, inevitably, put out a live record again. Maybe it will be all monologues. Our new record is live, actually, but live in the studio. The songs are apparent. The jumping is implied. The monologues happened between takes.

Miles: Most bands' recordings are different than their live concert, so come to a show and hear some bad jokes, or play the CD at home and smoke some bad weed.

Pervert: Monologues? Oh, you mean undeniable truths. These point are expressed subliminally on the record. Mmm, these new Camels are a pleasure to burn.

NUVO: Do you feel an affinity for GBV or other lo-fi miniaturists who don't flesh out even their poppiest songs?

Dr. History: Yes. I love Guided By Voices. I rerecorded all of Alien Lanes over a few years because that album is amazing and I wanted to figure out Robert Pollard's recording tricks (that's up on Musical Family Tree, by the way, under Jason Groth).
I never feel like any of our songs are unfinished. We just decide to finish them before other people would, probably. Some people question whether a song like "Don't Touch My Beer" is actually a song. It's got lyrics, a melody, harmony, rhythm, and it's of a certain length – that's a song. Just because it's only lyrics are "Don't Touch My Beer," we play "D" five times in a row, and all of us sing one note the whole time – how does that make it any worse or less song like then, say, any Red Hot Chili Peppers song that has come out since after Blood Sugar Sex Magic? Their new songs suck, they don't have any discernable melody, and I don't hear any harmonies. Then again they sell out stadiums, so it just goes to show you, people's opinions differ. "Gold Hick," on Alien Lanes, has more melody then REO Speedwagon's entire catalog.

Pervert: Apparently these guys have never heard of a record deal. A little tip: get one! It solves all your problems.

NUVO: What the story behind the following songs: "Oh No, Mailman!"

Dr. History: I don't even know who my mailman is anymore, but when I wrote the song it was a woman. Seems like one learns a lot about someone else based on the return addresses on envelopes that someone might receive. I just wondered how my mailwoman at the time thought of me – what kind of person she thought I was based on the credit card addresses, magazines, and the junk mail. Post office workers know more than we'll ever know about all of us. Watch out!

NUVO: "Mask Map"

Dr. History: The mask map has every mask you can imagine on it, especially old Halloween masks. Say these words together "Mask Maps," "Crisps," and "Grasp." That's inspiring.

Miles: Not those extreme sports kind.

NUVO: "There's a Meth Lab on My Street"

Dr. History: A few years ago I was driving on the street on which I then lived and saw a car getting scrutinized by a ton of police officers. They had the trunk open and there as a lot of stuff in the trunk. I figured it was a drug bust. Days later I heard that the car was basically a rollng Meth Lab. So, yes, all of it's true – but Pete (Skye Miles) wrote that one.

Miles: It was on one of our streets. You can fit anything in a big enough car.

NUVO: "I Wish I Could Get as High as Neil Young Does"

Dr. History: Someone said this in the van on an Impossible Shapes tour. Imagine that.

Miles: You only have to be in the frame of mind to smoke the good stuffe--you can be broke--you just have to bum some.

NUVO: "Martinsville Blues"

Dr. History : Pete wrote this one, but I'm pretty sad that the Martinsville Starbucks is under water, or was. Imagine how delicious that water must have been, though!

Miles: Never have just 'cause it's never come up as an option I think. We always like to stop at the Martinsville Starbucks (RIP temporarily) for free espressos.

Pervert: These songs are best experienced by searching all the primary words on Google.com and them piecing together the information into your own personal bible. Why not? Keep trying….. it'll come together.

So, we can all agree on one thing: Pink Floyd is pretty sweet. What we cannot agree on pales in comparison to what we can, right? So let's all make out.

Now on to the important stuff -- a new review from Skyscraper!

THE COKE DARES
Feelin' Up CD – Essay / Reibenbach
It's nice to be able to cut loose once in awhile, to get
away from the family and kids and start a band. If
you've already done that, then the next logical step
is to start another. And another. The Coke Dares
(who moonlight as Jason Molina's backing band, the
Magnolia Electric Company) exist on the axis of the
Indiana indie rock circuit, circa Impossible Shapes
and John Wilkes Booze (sounding much more like the
latter than the former), and that's never a bad thing.
This particular brew is flush with a punk-gone-wrong
attitude that crosses over to some halfway decent
melodies. But it's all about r-r-rocking in the end, no
single member taking anything too seriously. In some
cases, that's when genius can spring from a heavily
cultivated mood. Intense stomps like the 22-second
"The Coke Dares Them Five" and "Nazi Rock" whip
up quite a frenzy when they hit, but Feelin' Up doesn't
amount to much more than a fun romp. Since that's
the intention in the first place, though, let me be the
first to say: Well done, sirs. (Grant Purdum)
thecokedares.com

Well done indeed (is what someone else might say).

BAM. See you in January.

Despite what we might say on stage, off stage, and privately, please don't vote for McCain. I know you all love rolling back laws regarding the protection of endangered species AND our bodies as much as we do, but we should suck it up and maybe give someone else a chance. Vote Obama. Do it.

But enough about soul crushing politics and the fact that it seems like everyone really is out to just blow everyone else up while still being racist -- let's talk about podcasts! We unleashed podcast 4 a few days ago to "rave" reviews (by that I mean one of the interview subjects, Brad, said "nice editing." Thanks, Brad).

Podcast 5 is on the hook now. Again, you can find it at the iTunes store under podcasts (easy!), or if you're more technically adept (or you hate Apple or something and prefer MS DOS) you can launch Windows 3.1 and point your Netscape Navigator to http://www.thecokedares.com (look under documents for the podcast link) or, even easier, the XML feed -- http://www.thedeathtouch.net/cokedares/podcast/tcdpodcast_01.xml

Also, more life changing news -- someone out there actually likes the song "Mask Map." Weird. We thought everyone hated it. Now that a critic loves it maybe "Mask Map" can go on tour with Vampire Weekend!

THE COKE DARES, "Feelin' Up" (Essay/ Reibenbach) ✰✰✰ 1 / 2
  — If I told you mem­bers of Magnolia Electric Co. make up the Coke Dares, would you: a) expect somber, Midwestern rock; b) wait for a cameo by Jason Molina; or c) anticipate a song about being mistaken for Ronald McDonald with a beard.
  If you answered c., you're either realy smart, I'm realy transparent, or you cheated. But yeah, the felows who, in this band, go by the priceless monikers of Pizza Party, Skye Myles and my personal favorite Dr. History Doctor, are back with another senseless, likely substance­inspired colection of southern-smeared, old-school punk songs that are over realy, realy fast. There are 33 songs, and the whole thing's done in 29 minutes. It's incredibly stupid, but also more fun than you probably realize.
  There are four different Coke Dares theme songs — "I Wish I Could Get as High as Neil Young Does," which won­ders if they then would be able to write songs as good as he (I'd argue some of these are better!); "Mailman Paranoia," which wonders if local postal workers know about their customers' debts and travel plans; "Nazi Rock," which is more like surf punk; and probably the great­est song that's ever been, "Mask Map," which explains, "If you want to know where althe masks are, you're gonna need the mask map." I am going to listen to this 100 times in a row. (BK) The Coke Dares play 31st St. Pub Friday at 10 p.m. Also on the bilare Lord Grunge and Jackson (of Grand Buffet, playing solo sets), Unsung, and Love Like Doloreans. Tickets are $8.

Due to the overwhelming response that we, in The Coke Dares, have had to our own podcast, we've decided (and figured out) how to make it subscribable through iTunes. See more of that below... but for now...

Episode 2 is now available. Hear as The Coke Dares travel through a "flood"! Hear them talk to REAL doormen! Hear them buy, or try to buy, or try to justify buying, Bud Light Lime! Why not? Hear the after hours life of Lawrence, KS! Feel the pain!

TO SUBSCRIBE:
You can try the easy way and search for us through the iTunes store but, since they probably have to review the stuff for things that might be treasonous (see episode 2) it might be easier just to go to iTunes, click "Advanced," click "Subscribe to Podcast..." and then throw in this link:

http://www.thedeathtouch.net/cokedares/podcast/tcdpodcast_01.xml

Either way should work, the second being a proven method. If you just want to download the second episode (the darker, Empire Strikes Back, this-is-really-what-happens-on-tour episode) go to:

http://www.thedeathtouch.net/cokedares/podcast/tcdpodcast_02.mp3

We've just succesfully completed leg one of the "Pandering to the Truth" tour. Thanks to those who made it out! More to come, East Coasters -- get ready!

We're in the Mohawk in Austin, TX. Jaws is on the TV. The Clash is on what Granddad would call the "Radio." I have a bottle of water in one hand, a bottle of Tums in the other hand, a bottle of Pepto in the other hand, and a glass of whiskey where the water once was.

The Coke Dares are podcasting. You heard me. The first one is enclosed in this blog. It will also be available, shortly, via iTunes. We plan on doing it the whole damn time we're on tour. You can also just download it here, if that's mostly convenient for you: http://www.thedeathtouch.net/cokedares/podcast/tcdpodcast_01.mp3


The first episode features the first two days of tour, Chicago and Dubuque. Hear: a cat talk! Hear: a drunk man talk! Hear: The Coke Dares talk! And play a little! It must be heard to be believed to exist.

We have more, too. Two more. And we're working on them. And they will come out daily, now that we have a backlog. Look for episode two tomorrow.

Thank you!

I'm not good with maths, but I am good with social studies maths. The above equation is true according to http://lineout.thestranger.com/2008/07/i_dance_to_metal

And it goes exactly like this:

The place emptied before Jay Reatard took the stage—whaaaa? Maybe everyone feared getting punched in the mouth? Wimps. Still, thanks to the exodus, I could walk in and out without much trouble, so I caught a few songs by Pleasureboaters across the street. Thank effin' god I did! The entire crowd was in on the fun, bouncing off each others' bodies in erratic robo-dances while the on-stage trio married the late '70s sound of the No New York comp with an infusion of rumbling, southern-boogie bass—meaning the punk and hard-rock kids each had a reason to rush the stage with fists in the air. Best of all, singer Ricky Claudon broke a guitar string early in the set and didn't flinch. No requests for a new guitar. No stoppage to wind a new string in. The dude did over half of the set this way, and you couldn't hear the difference. That's how it should be done.

Back to the still-spacious Neumo's, possibly half full by set's start, and the crowd wasn't quite ready to embrace the shameless assault of Reatard, slowly warming to the guy's punk-metal blasts until a pit finally erupted mid-crowd. If James Dio heard Chicago's [ed-Bloomington] bizarre punk-metal trio [The] Coke Dares and decided to start anew, that might sound like the brilliance of last night. Every song sounded like an early '80s metal classic—hard, downtuned metal with perfectly placed shout-along chunks, a crush on snare assaults that recalled the earliest days of Megadeth, and a squirrelly guitar tone that sounded best suited for an '87 Camaro's cassette deck. I never had time to relish or enjoy the songs, though, as Jay and band elected to forgo tween-song breaks to instead shout the next song title and tear right in. Things just went so fast, and the sheer rush of their approach propelled me to mosh for the first time in years.

Nobody loves us like Portugal loves us. Since we don't speak Portuguese, and since I was taught in church school that English is God's language, I'm going to post this review in the strange, translated English that Google Translate provides. I particularly like the "stupid pictures of North American power-trios," proving once again that cover art WORKS.

http://www.bodyspace.net/album.php?album_id=1358
What it seems, the elaboration of the horrible layer that serves of dreadful face the Feelin' Up will have been so propositadamente hasty as the proper writing of the record, that held back the Coke Dares in a studio during two days without time for mixture or overdubs (pure mirage). Everything was directed as it orders law DIY: there recorder of two tracks, analogical equipment and a proud one I want to know well pointed to the technology of tip used for the producers lately sequestrados by Madonna. The proper layer disrespects any good taste, but it gives vénia to a tradition of stupid pictures of North American power-trios that well recently incluía also the front photograph of IV of the Fucking Champs. It seems that all the conception of Feelin' Up was gliding during a small-lunch in Amesterdão composed for space cakes and folloied by grass tea. It is known, exactly thus, that a record of disastrous grafismo can, to the times, revealing being track of that for close it will perfectly walk useful rock to all those circumstances where somebody despairs for if delivering the gratuitous pleasures that do not compel to the sacrifice of many neurónios (or they burn that them to all in an apex). Previsibly, as the long-duration Feelin' appositive Up in a ragged greasy rock - riffs and brazenly patriotic ground - in amount (33 bands in 25 minutes) proportionally inverse to the sobriety saw that it to be born. Being that the Coke Dares not even is a trio that keeps particular vanity in the lack of legal capacity technique, beyond that the level that was demanded to them in the contributions with Magnolia Electric Co. (of Jason Molina) and Jens Lekman extinguishes the hypotheses of if presenting as band so me the one that is good. The fallacy of the Coke Dares will pass much more for the irrelevance of the subjects randomly convoked until Feelin' Up so that its bands are not only instrumental and unprovided of a requentado mood exaggerated times. Without time to collect breath and to a rhythm of "each bullet it kills one", that much remembers the equally dispatched Minutemen, the Coke Dares the same demonstrate desportivismo in remembering of gone to the Service of Urgency, has attacked the imperialistas icons as Ronald McDonald, vénias Neil Young and to the superior quality of its trips, schizophrenic stories on espantalhos in the office. Feelin' Up is diversified and gets away how much valiant the one is enough minimum in the task that if compromises, but, as as much other records where the headings of musics arrive to have more than the favour that its proper content, are also convicted preference to be quickly discarded.

The tour's shaping up. Check out the latest dates here, or at www.unclebooking.com, or at www.thecokedares.com

More nuggets from the salty vaults of Google:

Here's a nice review from the Indiana University Student Newspaper, the Indiana Daily Student. Came out at just the right time, too -- when school's out!
http://www.idsnews.com/news/new-weekend/story.aspx?story_id=61797

Grade -- A-

Dare to dominate

Did you know Tom Waits wrote an autobiography in 1978? In it he writes that his mother gave him a piano for his fifth birthday. When asked about it in an interview in 1981, Tom Waits says to the interviewer, he says, "there's a sucker born every minute."

Huh -- I can't imagine anyone lying in their bios. Weird.

Anyway, we're still on the lookout for some East Coast love this coming tour. Thanks to those who have thrown help our way -- we're trying! We're looking for the following three dates -- the cities listed are just templates -- anywhere in this region would work. Any ideas?

08-16 - Portland, ME - TBA
08-17 - Providence, RI - TBA
08-18 - Philadelphia, PA - TBA
08-20 - Charlottesville, VA - TBA

Speaking of Tom Waits, here's another review of Feelin' Up. Thanks for your help, people. We need and want it.

http://weheartmusic.vox.com/library/posts/tags/the+coke+dares/

The Coke Dares is a three-piece band from Bloomington, Indiana, consisting of Roger (bass), Kenny (singer), and Roger (guitars). Reading their self-written "biography" on their website, I get the impression that these guys have a great time goofing around and being clever (or not so clever) about it.

My first reaction to their new album, Feelin' Up, was "WTF, how can an LP have 32 tracks and be UNDER 30 minutes?!?" You know what? None, and I mean NONE of their songs reaches over 1 minute and 20 seconds .

This was all by design, not it's a one time joke! (their last album, Here We Go With... The Coke Dares from 2004, contains 32 tracks and presumably under 30 minutes too). In trying to figure out how this evolved, apparently they started off as a "classic rock" band, covering Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, etc. At one of their gigs, they suddenly stop at the bridge and said "thank you" and started another song. They continued to do this until they exaggeratedly described the night as playing "at least 230 songs".

Man, I just re-read that last paragraph, it sounds like a secret origin to a super villain.

Some of the songs I noted that I wanted to mention are the three "The Coke Dares Theme" that are played throughout their concert. Each song is very different, but are grouped under that title.

As for the four second song called "Fuck You I Quit"... I wouldn't call that a song! I think you'll find that many of the titles actually tells you all you need to know about the song. Can you guess what "I'm Just Trying to Drink to Get Some Sleep", "I Wish I Could Get As High as Neil Young Does", "Everybody's Got Some Time To Die Unless You're a Zombie", and "Mask Map" (it's big, it's huge, it's a big big big big map) are about?

I think the song that I was going to use was "Emergency Room Blues" by default because it was the longest song on the album. I've decided to use "Ronald McDonald" as it sounds like a monologue at the beginning. Plus Ronald McDonald gives me the creeps.

The truth is, it really doesn't matter how I dress this up, I suspect the band is amazing live, based on the songs on the recording. It's definitely not for everybody, but if you like a mix of improv, DIY, garage, punk rock, with less commitment and a sense of humor... definitely check out Feelin' Up.   The album comes out this Tuesday, July 8^th on Essay ("SA") and Reibenbach Records.

THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL...
http://www.new-noise.net/album-reviews/nuggets/07-july-2008/nuggets---07-july-2008_4616.html
The Coke Dares – Feelin'Up
By Pete Charles
Only a handful of bands can get away with writing an album of 33 songs, most of which last under a minute. The Coke Dares are not one of them. To their credit though, there are traces of The Buzzcocks and Minnesota punk heroes The Replacements in there and you can't say that any of their garage punk howlers grow tedious – they simply don't have time to. These three beardy Neanderthal types just jam a riff out to string-breaking point and layer it with coarse, shouty vocals. It's an absolute train wreck of an album, the soundtrack to a bar brawl or prison break, but, recorded live and on a two track tape, it's ultimately bargain bin material. If they don't know it, they're dumber than they look, and that's pretty dumb. Go see them live though, you'll probably see some good fights, if nothing else.

ONE MORE FROM 7/7
http://www.lefthip.com/albums/1028
33 tracks most under a minute long, with the shortest clocking only 4 seconds long. A hard rocking good off-the-cuff time with lots of humor and attitude. They cite the Minutemen as a reference, and the music might also conjure images of early Lemonheads, Dead Kennedys, Jon Spencer, David Yow etc - also some of the old comical hardcore bands and songs, this is really all over the place - there are lo-fi power-pop moments and blues-rocking wildness and it's all thrown together kinda random and at a breakneck pace. Fun.