Hello all you beautiful people reading this... Hope all is well with everyone and I hope that everyone is being blessed.

Soooo... I haven't posted a blog for a while.  I haven't had the time to write, but today I've decided to give everyone an update.  Here goes:

I am working two jobs.  One is monday through friday 8-5 as a daa entry clerk.  Then Friday 5:30 to midnight, Saturday 4-midnight and sunday 3-9 as a waitress.  I have been pretty busy!!! Not to mention I have joined, what I believe, is the best gym in the world.  Its called lifetime fitness. Check it out at MYLT.com  Ok first off, its about the size of a Super Shop-rite or Pathmark.  They have 6 pools, three jacuzzi's, a court for basket ball, a field for football and soccer, a court for volleyball, a salon, a spa, a restaurant, many group fitness programs and not to mention treadmills and all types of things you jog on that I do not even know what they are, stair masters, cycles, and weights galore. Oh nd did I menion Rock Climbing!!!!  U have your own locker and a seperate spot for men and women, the womens section has mirrors and counters and all the way through BLOW DRYERS!!!! Also, there are many steam rooms and saunas, and seperated showers.  This place is beautiful... They just built it here.  I've been going about 5 nights a week, cuz check this, its open 24 hours 7 days a week!!!!  Its the best thing thats happened to me, I love it!!!! Im starting school in January to recieve a Bachelors in computer science for computer software programming.  I though coming out to Texas was a negative thing, now I realize it was the best thing I could have done in my life.  For once, my money can be saved, I can do things I was never able to do, and most importantly I finally know what I want to do in life and will begin my career soon.  Not to mention I am no longer lonely.  I used to feel as though I always needed a man, and even if I didn't like the man's personality or traits, I forced my self to deal with it because I wanted someone around. (Not with Deji tho).  Now, I have men trying to persue things with me, but I do not even bother.  I love being single, no stress, no fights, no arguements.  I am finally Happy and I FEEL ALIVE!!!!

No more flowing rivers.

No more mossy pond.

No more beautful trees.

No more sidewalks.

No more buses.

No more trains.

No more blocks.

No more huge parks in almost every town.

No more beaches.

No more boardwalks.

No more atlantic city.

No more going to a friends house.

No more friends coming over.

No more getting high on life.

No more walking around.

No more snow.

No more ducks.

No more corner stores.

No more liquor stores.

The no more's can go on forever...

WELCOME TO TEXAS

I HATE IT HERE

Grrrrrrr, I've been in Texas 33 days and counting and I hate it here. No one walks around cuz its too hot.  Plus there aren't any sidewalks to walk on.  You have to have a car to get where you need to go cuz there aren't any buses or trains, not where I live anyway.  This whole place is commercial.  There are nothing but stores and fast food joints surrounding me.  Most people here have huge tops and skinny bottoms.  Very unproportioned. The houses are huge, thats the only plus.  There aren't any blocks, everywhere you go you wind up right back where you started.  This whole place is a circle.  I was upset today and lonely, missing my friends and I took a long drive hoping to get lost, hoping to see the familiartiy of a park, pond, or river.  So its dark and Im driving and I see a pretty decent sized pond on a coldesack with a beautifully lit fountain of water in the middle of the pond.  So there are house around it and Im thinkin "Yes, finally I can feel like im home a bit"  In jersey I lived behind the Rahway river so whenever I was stressed I would go in the back, filled with trees grass and ducks and of course the river, and just listen to it flow.  Or I would go to Rahway River Park and sit on the bench and look at the pond during the day or go at night and watch the reflection of the stars on the pond.  So here I am ecstatic I found something and what does it say on a huge sign, PRIVATE PROPERTY, NO TRESPASSING.  U can imagine how pissed I was.  Out here people are so rich they own their own shyt.  Just my luck.  I wish I could go back home to Jersey.  This place is for older married couples, not for me.  I am a city girl and will be for the rest of my life!

P.S. I cant walk up the block to the corner store cuz the HAVE NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

There she lies distraught, broken on the floor

Blood dripping from her skin once more

Emotional conflict, physical illness galore

Thoughts filled with voilence, pain, gore

She's looking for peace in her belliegerent mind

Her soul is lost, frenzy is found in her eyes

Happiness, sanity, compos mentis she can not find

How can she leave everything and everyone behind

What's amazing is... I spent four years in Jersey, outside of the cage.  I was finally able to fly... From birth to the beginning of my senior year in high school I lived with my family.  They were extremely strict so I missed out on house parties, school dances, dating, etc.  I couldn't even hang out at any of my friends' houses, unless it was done against my parents wishes.  In which they never found out, I was a very smart and slick teenager.  So, I finally moved out and I was free.  I thought I could do anything.  All those years of missing out on my true high school and teenage experiences, I was finally able to be free.  As cliche as it may sound I felt like a bird released from my cage.  I knew I could not regain my teenage years, but I was going to make sure I did more with my life.  I always kept in touch with my sister Yolene.  Everyone else sort of disappeared out of my life.  Of course there was the occasional reappearance, like my beloved Blanca, however, after a while we also lost touch.  Then I move back to Texas and now that I am so far away I have rekindled with so many people.  I do not understand why I COULDN'T take time out of my day to rekindle with old friends.  Now I talk to Blanca everyday and we promised to never lose touch.  Jennifer and I have become friendly again (love u Jen u helped me through alot and probably didn't even realize it).  Mirna (wish u never moved u were one of my best friends and u truly cared), Ashley, Gordon (G u always made sure u stayed in my life, Im sorry I didn't make enough time), etc.  I allowed myself to get lost in my job, school, and relationships that I forgot about the people who helped me grow into the person I am today.  I  miss u, all of u.