My mother was very Pro Black when I was growing up.
I remember as a child she would wear African garb and our house had pictures of African royalty on the walls. My mother would refer to me as her Nubian Prince and speak harshly of the Crackers.
So of course I rebelled against this.
By age 12 I was referring to myself as a republican and rolling my eyes at the liberals and their plight. This horrified my mom. She couldnt understand where she went wrong. How could all of her Early 90s black power rhetoric have been cast aside by her one and only child.
Did I also mention I started listening to metal and classic rock?
Yes folks, I was in the middle of the hood (Bed-Stuy, what!) rocking out to Metallica, Rush, Tool, YES, Fishbone and a myriad of other bands. I wore flannel shirts tied around my waist and wanted to hang out in the East Village.
I was a walking oxymoron.
Now something else Id like you to understand is that although I was most likely rebelling against my mom, there was a certain logic to what I had I was following. The ideals that were explained to me about the Republican Party made sense to me. They make sense to me now. Im not a republican simply for the fact that I think that the party might in fact have too much evil with in it for me to throw my allegiance.
Even in my non-republican status, Im still not a democrat. I now just float around in a political fog.
And my poor mother thought that if she continued to beat me over the head with certain sayings and ideas Id eventually join her on the side of righteousness. In the end all it did was give me life long aversions to certain thoughts and beliefs.
Example. The simple idea that Race plays a role in how youre treated in restaurants, cabs, and by police officers.
In rebellion to my mother I argued that this was silly. Its a new era. Stop blaming race for everything. Take some responsibility for yourselves.
I still believe that to an extent.
But with an additional 15 years under my belt of life and experiences Ive come to understand that race is a major issue. As much as I try to follow the idea that everyone is equal, this is not in fact how America works.
I was watching an episode of Caught on Tape which shows cops dealing with criminals(drunk drivers, speeding, etc) and there was one video where a white lady was resisting arrest. She told the officer straight out No, youre not arresting me. The officer actually let her break free from him and tried to talk sense in to her.
I was sitting in a room with 2 other black males, and the only thing we could say was Wow. Thats amazing. Because we knew that if we tried this same trick we would have been beaten cuffed and possibly shot for resisting arrest.
My friend Fahnon says that Black is just negative. Its ingrained into the psyche of Americans. Im starting to agree with him.
I see comics who deal with race a lot and for a while I thought it was hack. Yes some of the greats dealt with race heavily but it was something that I felt should be left behind. This is no longer the case for me.
Im faced with racial issues everyday. For me not to talk about race would be me ignoring a major aspect of my life. Walking around with a blindfold on pretending that everything is okay.
Its not.
Now if youll excuse me. Im gonna go listen to some Korn.