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Last Updated: 10/16/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 24
Sign: Gemini

State: Barcelona
Country: ES
Signup Date: 2/21/2004

Blog Archive
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Saturday, December 27, 2008 
A great reminder of how connected we all are. Thank you for being connected to me, wherever you are, in whatever way that is.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM
Thursday, August 23, 2007 
Saturday, December 09, 2006 

Current mood:all of the above
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
"On this bridge," Lorca warns,
"life is not a dream.
" Beware and beware and...
beware."
And so many think because Then happened,
Now isn't.
But didn't I mention the ongoing "wow" is happening right now?
We are all coauthors of this dancing exuberance...
where even our inabilities are having a roast.
We are the authors of ourselves,
coauthoring a gigantic Dostoyevsky novel starring clowns.
This entire thing we're involved with called the world...
is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be.
Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time...
by moments flabbergasted to be in each other's presence.
The world is an exam to see if we can rise into the direct experience.
Our eyesight is here as a test to see if we can see beyond it.
Matter is here as a test for our curiosity.
Doubt is here as an exam for our vitality.
Thomas Mann wrote that he would rather participate in life...
than write a hundred stories.
Giacometti was once run down by a car,
and he recalled falling into a lucid faint,
a sudden exhilaration,
as he realized at last something was happening to him.
An assumption develops that you cannot understand life and live life simultaneously.
I do not agree entirely. Which is to say I do not exactly disagree.
I would say that life understood is life lived.
But the paradoxes bug me,
and I can learn to love and make love...
to the paradoxes that bug me.
And on really romantic evenings of self,
I go salsa dancing with my confusion.
Before you drift off, don't forget.
Which is to say, remember.
Because remembering is so much more a psychotic activity than forgetting.
Lorca in that same poem said...
that the iguana will bite those who do not dream.
And as one realizes...
that one is a dream figure...
in another person's dream,

that is self-awareness."



Monday, November 13, 2006 

Current mood:  pensive

When I make love with another, do I make love with my penis only? Is that the only part of me involved? Is that all I am? Or is there more to me than that?
Does lovemaking involve my thighs, my belly, the back
of my neck, the insides of my elbows? Is that all I am? Or is there more to me than that?
Does making love involve my mind, my heart, my history, my future, my cares, my fears, as well? Now is that all sexuality is? Or is there more to it than that?
Does it involve, as well, that intersection between me and all I am and my partner and all she is? Is there more to sex than simply that rising feeling in the belly before orgasm?
And who is to say that sex is any different than any other part of our lives? Who is to say how much richness I rob myself of by interacting only economically with those around me?

And, worse, how much does it hurt me to take my pleasure from one who is unwilling, or who is hurt, or degraded, in that pleasuring?
How does it hurt me to redefine myself as one who feels no connection, who chains myself to one definition of myself while denying emphatically and in action those chains of relatedness that in all reality blind each of us to every other?

How much does it impoverish me to live in a society where, by mutual and unsound agreement, we all seem to value something as intangible and unreal as money more than we value something so tangible, so real, so necessary as a beating heart, a willing body, and a contented and happy and self-assured and self-possessed person?

How can we value money more than relationships,
more than life?

Saturday, May 27, 2006 

historia de arte. historia de mi vida. mi vida está a un punto de acabar. Acaba de terminar. Regresaré a mi país, los estados que no son unidos en ninguna forma excepto de las fronteras dibujadas encima de la misma tierra rota.

Tengo miedo. tengo miedo de que mi vida me parar'a de crecer. de que el sol no brillará en las caras en que les cae, las caras desapreciadas, ocupadas, el sol ignorado por los ignorantes.

Tengo miedo de que mis amigos -mis hermanos- que han caompartido esta esperienca nos olvidaremos y nos olvidará el tiempo que hemos pasado por los días, noches, y los tiempos in between.

the culture shock starts now

the questions-- did i live well? Did I love without fear? Did I take enough in and did I give it all back...


none of us realize this is gone