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ART OF CHAOS (facebook.com/artofchaos)



Last Updated: 12/16/2009

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Status: Single
City: LOS ANGELES
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/2/2005

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Saturday, December 19, 2009 


Hi everyone.  Just writing to let know I will be headlining the monthly YouTellConcerts.com Acoustic BBQ at Territory Records in Los Angeles, this Sunday (12/20)!  

It’s going to be a great show, and I will be playing an entirely acoustic set equipped with full backing band. Got some surprises up my sleeve... playing some newer versions of old songs and some new covers.  There are a bunch of great artists going to be playing as well.

This show is ALL AGES and did I mention it's FREE ADMISSION?! Hope to see everyone.  It'd be nice to hang out once more before the New Year.

See you Sunday!

Brian
ART OF CHAOS


12:51 AM 
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Friday, November 06, 2009 
insomnia blows... that is all. no really though, I've been trying to go to sleep since 12AM PST (It's now 3:30AM). someone really needs to come up with a handbook of guaranteed things to knock you out... and I mean natural things and not chemicals, booze, or meds, haha. hmm. what else to ramble about ....? well ... goin to see Imogen Heap and Paramore in concert next week, so that's exciting. You all should definitely pick up the new Flyleaf record when it comes out next week... I've heard the whole thing... its epic. movies, movies, movies....? hmm. haven't seen the MJ documentary yet, heard its great. gotta check that out. my friends are trying to convince me to go see "the fourth kind" (is that what it's called?). movies don't scare me really...I mean don't get me wrong I'll scream during one, but I'm not the person who goes home afterward and gets all freaked out when they're alone. how was everyone's halloween? mine was gnarly. went to three concerts in a row... okay one might have been a rave but who's counting. saw flyleaf last week and one of my all-time favorite dj's DEADMAU5 (pronounced dead-mouse). both great times. okay, I've rambled and I'm still not tired. bleh. sweet dreams kids. :) -B
11:20 AM 
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Monday, October 12, 2009 

Help me write a song....


Hey everybody.  Hope this letter/message finds you well.  Been hard at work these past few weeks, months writing and working on a new album.  I'm hoping this time around to release a WHOLE album's worth of new material.  If anything an EP with 5-6 songs will be available before the new year... I'm hoping to make an album of 10 songs, so keep fingers crossed and prayers strong.  :)

So the reason I'm writing and reaching out:  I'm working on a new song that I'm hoping will help be inspired by each of you.  If any of you might remember, a while back (maybe a few years now, wow, time flies) I reached out to many of you asking for your stories and shared experiences for a song... a song that eventually became "(For) People Just Like Us"... one of my favorites to date, since I feel like it belongs more to you than it ever did to me.  

I'm writing a similar song this time around.  I've begun working on a story and lyrics about a friend who is going through some tough times.  I'm hitting a little bit of a creative wall, because somewhere in this story I know there words are crying out to be larger than this one experience, I feel the words are begging to address issues larger and more global... in essence I feel they are begging for your influence.  It's a song about connection and shared experience... and what better way to begin writing about this than connecting and sharing with you.

Anytime I write songs like this I take other's experiences and relate them to my own.  I'm always surprised by how similar we all are in the world, how often we when think we're alone there's someone else out there going through the same things.  So I guess I'll just start and throw out some questions... feel free to answer none, some, or all the questions.... 

What's going on in your life right now?  Anything challenging or hard to get through?  Do you feel like you're alone?  What helps you or inspires you to get back up when you fall?  Is there something you have gone through when you thought there was no way out, but you found a way to get your life back on track?  

Do you need help?  Is there something going on that you wish you could talk to someone about?  Do you put up walls?  If so, why? Do you have anyone to talk to?  If you don't, do you wish you did?  What would you tell this person?  If you do have someone to talk to, what do you talk about to get through things?


Since I don't think it's very fair for me to ask you all to spill out your guts without my doing it first, haha... I'll share some right now.  It's the least I can do.  Recently I had someone come into my life who surprised me big time, surprised me in the sense that I felt I was seeing a mirrored reflection of myself in this new friend.  I began to see so many parallel issues going on between us... issues with identity, our childhood, our struggles to make sense of who we are and make sense of this world.  In this I began to feel less alone, began to feel like God had granted me a friend to get through everything with.  

But I'm an open book sometimes, and I have gotten to a place in my life where I can verbalize my feelings really well.  As many of you may (or may not) know, I'm no stranger to having addressed topics and my personal battles with depression and suicide.  I still struggle with it, but I've healed so much through music and through all of you.  I'm doing more than okay ;)  This is not the case for my friend, who is much more closed off and is predisposed to putting up walls.  Sometimes when we talk, it can be really hard to communicate, when so much is held back... it's hard to sit by and watch someone break down and cry and not know how to help... especially when this person has a hard time letting people in.  And for me it's sad, because I want so much to help... when I know that whatever is going on inside my friend is also going inside of me.

So this struggle has translated into the lyric writing process.  It's hard to get through to someone lyrically when you can't get through to them in person.  As I thought of this I began to see a solution.  Maybe the issue I'm having is that I'm trying to address something so specific and small, that if I open up my heart and hopes for healing to the world I will find a bigger answer that will solve the smaller struggle.  Much in the fashion of "...People Just Like Us", I'm hoping that we can talk and share... that I might be able to see myself and my  friend in all of you, and together we might be able to write a song together... a song that lets everyone in the world know what's going in our hearts and lives, and how by sharing/knowing that we're not alone in our struggles we can get through it together.

I hate writing really long blogs, and seems like I've done it again. Haha.  So I will end here.  Hope this message reaches you and inspires you.  Feel free to share or not to share, I know that this stuff can get really personal and hard to talk about.  Just know, I will not share any of your conversations with anyone, they are for my eyes and my eyes only.  You can message me here on Myspace, I'm the only one who reads your mail.


Thank you all for taking the time to read this.  Can't wait to finish this song and share it with you.  So thankful and blessed to share with each and every one of you.


Much love.

Brian
ART OF CHAOS




7:33 PM 
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Saturday, September 05, 2009 
Tuesday, Sept. 8th marks the debut of the new Art of Chaos.  It will be the first time I take the stage since the band parted ways last December.  These past few months have been quite the roller-coaster and what better way to commemorate the journey then with a live show?  For me its very much a celebration and a tip of the hat to the great things to come.

I'm so excited to be playing new songs live for the very first time, as well as some classics.  I promise you some awesome music, as I will be taking the stage with my dear friends Resident Hero.  I am even joining them on stage for a song!  It's going to be a really special night.

Something about this show feels really special... almost monumental.  In a sense it feels like kind of make or break.  It's been a year since Art of Chaos has taken the stage and so much has happened since.  

It's true for any show, that the more people in the audience the better... especially ones that love, appreciate, or enjoy the music.  It almost makes the experience better for everyone... conjuring up a sense of community and emotion that it's okay to let loose and be who you are.  To me that's what Art of Chaos shows have always been about: the loss of that fear and the celebration of life.

I guess this show for me will remind me that that idea still exists out there.  I've gone on so long with faith in the idea, I'm hoping to see some shining examples come to life Tuesday.  I hope anyone in southern California reading this can make it to the show.  Putting on this show has truly been one of the hardest things I've had to do... i had no idea.  

It would be a great gift to see you all once again in the audience... so we can once again share the brighter together and light the way for the future.

So much love to everyone.

Brian
ART OF CHAOS






8:08 PM 
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 

Dearest Art of Chaos Fans,

I don’t know how or where to begin this letter… how does one put so many experiences and emotions into simple words? I guess there’s nowhere to begin but with the truth… a truth I’ve been facing the last six months on my own.

As of January 2009, Art of Chaos “the band” has come to its end. After four amazing years as a group, the time had come for us to go our separate ways. There’s no particular reason or cause, and you won’t find any bad blood or bones to pick. The parting was amicable and we all remain dear friends.

Anyone out there trying to make it as an artist or musician, I give you the biggest kudos. The music industry is not what it used to be, and trying to succeed in this business is a tremendous feat. It takes an immense amount of work, drive, dedication and passion. I think we had given so much steam to the band and our dreams, that in the end I feel some of us ran out.

I could spend a large part of this letter trying to think of reasons or expand upon what I believe to be the source or cause of this ending, but alas I cannot. I actually spent a large amount of time trying to figure out everything for myself, trying to make sense of it all. For a while it felt like everything that I had lived for had been stripped away from me and that there was nothing was left. I had lost my one true love in life and my best friends, and I had no definite reasons or answers.

After the band came to its end, I didn’t know what I was going to do, everyday facing the proverbial question, “Now what?” Should I give up on music? Should I give up on my dreams? Is this how things are supposed to happen? For weeks I thought about what Art of Chaos had meant to me; what the music meant and what each of you meant to me. So many of you gave yourselves so generously in supporting us. You believed in our music so much, at times I couldn’t even believe it. It was then I began to realize that Art of Chaos wasn’t even about me, that in the end, it was truly about all of you. For a while that thought brought me sorrow, for I felt in some way, by letting go of Art of Chaos, I was turning my back on all of you…all of you whom I love so dearly.

As I hit what I call my "rock bottom", the thoughts of each of you began to turn from a source of sadness to a source of strength. I began to reflect on all of your spirits, stories, the connections we forged, and I found a beacon of hope. I thought, “If people didn’t give up on us, how could I give up on them?” An urge and unrest began to build in me… something told me that the fight was not over, that there was much more still to be done, still to be said. Something inside told me I was not done fighting, I was not done sacrificing, I was not done living and breathing my passions. I was not done trying to make Art of Chaos a reality. Scared shitless and not knowing how I was going do it, I decided that I would carry on Art of Chaos, even if I had to do it alone.

For the last six months, I’ve been grinding away at trying to make that vision a reality. I’m not going to lie, it’s been the roughest few months of my life. Things are definitely a lot harder and lonely on your own, but I find myself smiling again… smiling at the prospect of creating and sharing music, and more importantly, getting to reconnect and see all of you again. I know that some may not agree or be favorable toward this new solo version of Art of Chaos, and I completely understand and respect their opinions. I knew that this would be something I would have to face down the line. I guess in the end I felt that if I didn’t carry it on, then Art of Chaos would have died, and that was not something I could live with, not without giving it one last shot.

I am overwhelmingly excited for all of you to hear the new songs and share in the great big changes to come. So much of the journey is still left and I would love for us to continue down this road together. When you listen to these new songs you will see that much is still the same: the same message, the same stories, the same spirit, the same urge to make a difference in the world. I will always stay true to that and I will always stay true to you.

I think I speak for everyone formerly in the band, when I say thank you… thank you for your constant support, endless faith, and relentless encouragement. You all made us feel so loved and honored to be apart of your lives.

I wake up every day thankful for each and every one of you. You have brought so much joy and light into my life. I hope that I can only continue to do the same for you.


With so much love,


Brian Torres
ART OF CHAOS


8:13 PM 
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009 


Oh, went to bed at 12:30am and woke up at 2:00am... can't fall back to sleep. Thought I'd hop on Myspace... it's been a while. Don't know what it is, and I apologize if I'm wrong, but it seems like the love for Myspace is leaving over time. Maybe that will change, or maybe all of you will let me know where you find yourselves hanging out and checking new music these days? We're on Facebook, Twitter, and so forth... what are we leaving out?

Anyway, for those of you reading this. Big thing to come in August. Should be a around the first week or so, if all goes accoring to plan... which I'm making damn sure it does. Yikes, I'm supposed to head into the studio tomorrow, and this lack of sleep is not going to be doing wonders for my voice, haha. oops. But yeah, so many goodies to come.... so many "new" things, finally! Right? It's been long enough.

I hope everyone is still out there listening to the old records and still loving the songs. I will listening back to some of our older material, and its pretty crazy to think back on how far A.O.C. has come. There's such a cray history and journey, and I'm so glad to have shared every moment with each and every one of you. I miss that connection a bit... I hope to be seeing you all soon enough. I'm making it out on the road again if its this last thing I do. There's been this big void it feels these past few months... more on that later I guess. But anyway, I'm imagining that when August comes everything is going to change for the better... keep your fingers crossed and your prayers steady. ;)

I guess I'll leave at that. So much love to you all. Hope you haven't forgot about us. I haven't forgot about you.... never can, never will.

Good night (and good morning)!

Brian
ART OF CHAOS






12:57 PM 
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Thursday, June 04, 2009 

Hey everybody,

Just wanted to let everyone know that there's been a lot of exciting news in the past few months and that's there's going to be even more in store by the end of summer. Wanted to let everyone know that the best ways to keep in touch are by keeping up with Twitter and the new Tumblr blog.

With Twitter you can keep up on everyday ramblings... its pretty addictive and I'm sure you'll all enjoy it (check out the widget below).







The Tumblr blog has become, for me, a very cool outlet and form of personal expression... it's definitely the best way to share inspirations and in-depth reflections. You should check it out regularly (I'll constantly be letting people know about new blog posts via Twitter, they kinda work hand-in-hand)

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE BLOG
http://aocbrianblog.tumblr.com


Sorry we haven't been so 'present' on Myspace as of late... for those of you migrating to Facebook... please join our community over there as well. Is it me or does it seem everyone is using Myspace less and less? Anyway, I'll be back hardcore and in touch with everyone here on Myspace very soon... after the recording studio madness slows down.


Hope you are all well and rocking like there's not tomorrow. I miss you all dearly and can't wait to hear from and/or see you all again.


So much love. And please forgive any grammatical errors :)


Brian
ART OF CHAOS
4:18 PM 
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Monday, July 21, 2008 


"Savior"


Papa, I don't think I told anyone of this
My months, before you went away, spent in the darkness
I couldn't bear to live anymore, I couldn't stand to feel anymore
I wanted so bad to end my life until you came and changed that in me

I don't know if you'll ever know
That you are the reason I am still breathing
Too afraid to chase my dreams
You were the reason I started believing
And I know that with death there comes life
And I want you to know that when you left
You saved mine…

When the news came that you had passed away
I broke down and wrote a song and let my voice finally guide the way
I know it was you talking to me, I know it was you speaking through me
And for the first time I was alive… I am alive

I don't know if you'll ever know
That you are the reason I am still breathing
Too afraid to chase my dreams
You were the reason I started believing
And I know that with death there comes life
And I want you to know that when you left
You saved mine…

I sing for you now like I did that day
Bury my destructive sides in your praise
And I promise to pull through, take care of my mother for you
And I promise never to forget how you sparked the changed
When you saved me…you saved me

I don't know if you'll ever know
That you are the reason I am still breathing
Too afraid to chase my dreams
You were the reason I started believing
And I know that with death there comes life
And I want you to know that when you left
You saved mine…



5:04 PM 
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Saturday, July 12, 2008 




Gracious Chaos Fans,

So it seems we will be coming out from the rock we've been under these last few months, and will be playing a live show. We will be taking the stage at one of L.A.'s greatest venues, The Troubadour, and will be sharing the stage with local juggernauts Resident Hero and Putnam Hall.

It has been one crazy year, a rock bottom beginning and now the phoenix slowly rising. As we've been stowed away writing our new album, we've decided it's time to get back out there for one night. Come celebrate with us as we unveil some new, unheard material for the very fist time. Share in the turning of a new leaf, and a whole new rocket taking off.

Can't wait to see you. It's been far too long.


Brian
ART OF CHAOS

P.S. Those of you not in California, we apologize for not being able to come see you, we're hoping this night puts everything into high gear and puts us a few steps closer to returning to you and rocking once again. :)







"Just Like You"


I'm sure you might think that it's (after four years) ridiculous
That I begrudge and hold on… that I can't seem to move on
In light of what distance there has been

Why can't my heart heed to the slights?
Why can't my heart shut off, and ignore, and deny…

Just like you, I'm dying to be just like you
Wash my hands clean of this just like you
To not bleed deep inside just like you
To love and forget sans regret, just like you

And you're the god of reticence
Arms-lengthing this book to its end
You open arms and the bed
You put your loins before head
Ruthless how easy it comes to you

Why can't my heart sleep through the nights?
Why can't my heart just shut the fuck up and quit crying…

Just like you, I'm dying to be just like you
Wash my hands clean of this just like you
To not bleed deep inside just like you
To love and forget sans regret, just like you

Holding out to validate and revive
The part of you that might care for me
Wonder is it love or pride that keeps holding tight
Despite how disavowed what went on has been

What do I do?
Why I can't make myself let go of you?
Why can't you see that I'm worth loving too?

Why can't my heart just face the truth and be done?
And stay mute and be numb…

Just like you, I'm dying to be just like you
Wash my hands clean of this just like you
To not bleed deep inside just like you
To love and forget sans regret, just like you



6:32 PM 
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Monday, June 16, 2008 



"Anemic"


Oh phoenix please do rise
Bring on the ashes of demise
I want so bad to be born again
Bring renaissance to my defense

I feel I've died a thousand deaths
One pummel after the other in retrospect
Wipe the marks written from my skin
Let there be light where the darkness has been

I feel as though karma is a fable in bone
A way to make me smile when I am alone
Where love hurts too much to be true
Down here at rock bottom's blue

Whisper bravery into my heart
Fill the holes where it's torn apart
Make it believe there is more than hurt
Let to live here on this earth

Let the sun shine upon this home
Kiss the wounds that have yet to be sewn
Faith without and anemic within
Let today be done and tomorrow begin

Give me a reason to believe
To fly beyond this mountain of grief
To be renewed and resurrect
Breathe again with intended breath





Currently listening:
Flavors Of Entanglement
By Alanis Morissette
Release date: 2008-06-10
3:12 AM 
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