A quick note to say that you need to click on 'older posts' when you get to the bottom of the blogs, to view Day 1-4. Some people have been asking where these first few blogs are. Now you know :-)

Day 10

Wednesday, 5th November, 2008

“Waterbombs and barramundi”

After yet another night of sweating like a pig in the non air conditioned ‘Caravan of porridge’, Olly and Wongy get word that Ham & Ando, our new found buddies are filming at the Barramundi pond, so we head down for a laugh and Wongy has the bright idea that it would be really cool to come back for the next feeding at 1pm and get in the pond to film the Barra from under the water. With that being the plan, we walk back to the van and wake Scuzzi. After showering up and stuffing around for a while, we hop in the Wong-mobile and head out to the Mataranka thermal pool. This place is just what we need, a tropical oasis in the outback with crystal clear water, surrounded by palm trees. We indulge in the water and take some cool underwater footage, which we’ll try and get up on the website. We cant stay long because Wongy is so excited about the Barra feeding at 1pm so we head back.

We arrive on time for the feeding and Wongy stays true to his promise and gets in the murky water with the Barramundi whisperer ‘Daryl’ or ‘Darylmundi’ as named by Hamish. Wongy gets under the water, camera in hand as Darylmundi lures the metre long fish over toward him. The Barra swims over cautiously, stares Wongy down as if about to attack, then turns and snaps at the bait in a fury. These fish are so big you could put both your fists in their mouth, so its kudos’ to Wongy for his bravery in his quest for some good underwater ‘Barra’ footage.

A bit later we all gathered around the resort restaurant where the Hamish and Andy show is about to begin. We have a quick chat with the guys from ‘The Potbellez’ who have arrived to play acoustically on the show, we are so jealous.. he he … The heat is ridiculous of course, so much so that its hard to be enthusiastic about even watching the show. After its all over, quite a few of us all head back to the thermal pool and spend the next couple of hours in heaven, clowning around, practicing ‘dirty dancin’ lifts for the first time ever in actual water, and taking more really cool underwater footage. Out of the blue ‘Olly’ comes up with the brilliant idea of doing ‘underwater bombs’ with the camera, as per the normal ‘camera bomb’ but in water. Wongy sets the timer then swims down and places the camera face up on the bottom of the pool. Then the three of us swim and hover above the camera face down in the water and wait for the flash. Call us big kids, but this is sooooo much fun, we spend the next hour doing this over and over again until its too dark, the photos are hilarious! Back at the resort everyone is gathered like a big family at the outdoor restaurant where most of us wait what seemed like hours for our food. People are in no hurry up here. It’s a great relaxed and happy atmosphere, eating and drinking into the night. We leave that area and all pile into one of the air conditioned cabins that some of the girls have hired for the night and still in our merry state we drink and laugh some more before Wongy who is coughing like he has Bird flu as one guy put it, crashes on a bed. Olly heads back to the van where he finds Scuzzi in D & M’s with a couple of people. Olly plays a bit of mellow guitar to a pure blonde under the thousands of stars that hover above, then crawls into the oven for some sleep. Goodnight. Olly.

Day 13 & 14

Saturday 8th, Sunday 9th November, 2008

The last couple of days in Darwin, Hamish and Andy are busy editing for 'Rove' so we are pretty much left to do our own thing. I wont go into details, it has been pretty much the same thing over again, drinking, sweating, swimmimg, eating, swimming and so on... though there was a big night on the Saturday night out in the city of Darwin. On Sunday night, we all sat around with mountains of pizza and beer courtesy of Fox Fm and watched the cross to Rove live. After the show it was time to say goodbye to our new family of carapanions including Hamish and Andy who were leaving on the last flight out of Darwin.

So I guess this is it? Time to say goodbye from Olly and Scuzzi... Its been an amazing journey 'up the guts' and we hope you guys back home and around the country have enjoyed reading the blogs. We now start the long trek back home and hopefully we'll be back in time to start back at Flano's Frankston on Thursday?

Thanks and seeya later.... Olly and Scuzzi..... oh and Wongy! :-)

Day 12

Friday,  November 7th, 2008

“Pants off for the finale”

After another very sweaty morning, we wake up hungover and pack the C.O.P. ready to hit the road once more. After a greasy Pine Creek breakfast from the servo, Wongy decides he needs to get a spare tyre. Unfortunately in Pine Creek there isn’t many tyre retailers, in fact there are none, so he approaches a local aboriginal who is sitting next to his commodore, he asks if he can buy his spare off him, apparently the price of a spare in Pine Creek is “buy me a thirty pack of beer bloke”, after all it is ten in the morning. But due to the very strict prohibition laws, Wongy declines. Instead he gives him thirty dollars and we collect the spare and take off.

We arrive at Jabiru, in the heart of Kakadu national park, at about one. It is so humid and hot, possibly forty three here. We take a dip in the pool and get ready to watch the show. One of the Fox fm crew inform the three stooges that they will be providing the entertainment here tonight. The show starts and most of the caravaners are in their underwear cos its pants off Friday. It is as usual a hilarious show in which Hamish puts on his gorilla suit and runs to the front of the park, in the searing heat this nearly kills him. But the real treat was the Camel sighting competition. Hamish had a bet with Andy that he would see at least 50 feral camels by the end of the trip, if he didn’t find camels he could substitute a camel sighting for a song with the word camel in it. He did just that and found 19 songs with camel in them, plus the thirty one he saw, as a result Andy had to ride naked around the caravan park, with a camel hump on his back on the roof of the E.U.’s  mighty Apollo van. Scuzzi also manages to get on the show and thank our venues for the time off, and the caravan hire place which scores us a massive hire discount.

After some more pool time and some drinks and dinner the boys set up for the nights sort of farewell party. Unfortunately a few of the local red necks, who have been hanging around all day, are getting drunker and more obnoxious. One in particular by the name of “Clint” will not leave us alone. He has possibly the worst mullet in history, has no top on and is semi scrawny and covered in tattoos, his poison is beam cans and he has about three in his hands. The manager of the resort bar has a go at Scuzzi after the boys moved the pool table, it is a nightmare of a set up and the humidity is ridiculous. Everntually we set up and start to play. The place is a buzz and Olly, Scuzzi and Wongy tear a new arse in Jabiru. Hamish and Andy and the rest of the caravaners drink, sing and dance like a bunch of crazy kids, no doubt the highlight of the party is Herman the Germans conga line, which I believe at one stage had about forty links in it. Last drinks are called and the party winds up. A few of the local girls are hanging around trying to get the boys in the band to come back to a party with them. A few of the local drillers ‘Clint” aren’t too thrilled about this traveling circus coming through their town, and starts trying to have a crack at Scuzzi. “Come on tough guy, me and you, have a shot at the title”, Scuzzi is hot and is rushing to pack up and politely declines the offer. The shirtless stooge eventually wanders off into the night.

We all gather to have a bit of a ceremony at Hamish and Andy’s caravan, they give prizes and awards to all the carapanions, and we all take photos and sign things for each other. We party long into the night, Vaughney and Smyze (the token Aussie on the EU bus) convince some local girls that they are dingo whisperers. Bridget the local bird call expert joins us and tells us that one of the gates on the pool doesn’t lock, so a group of us sneak into the pool. Wongy and Olly lay out under the stars, while Scuzzi turns in for the night. It is almost too hot to sleep but eventually we all manage to. All in all, a damn good night. Scuzzi signing off

Day 11

Thursday, 6th November, 2008

“Hamish & Andy come out and play… with Olly”

As usual we wake up in sweat, shower up, and then by the time you put some clothes on you are covered in fresh sweat, awesome! We hit one of Mataranka’s dodgy servo’s for some dodgy fried food for breakfast and some petrol. Then its out on the open highway once again we go. Everything’s looking good, and we calculate that we should arrive in our next destination ‘Pine Creek’ just in time for the days show. On schedule we stop at ‘Katherine’ it feels like the hottest place on earth for some red rooster and purchase a couple of pairs of really bad shorts. Scuzzi buys a pair of red Hawaiian type gems and Olly gets into some ‘Warwick Capper’ style black satin stubbies… mmmm very nice boys!
We continue on, looking good we crank a bit of Thirsty Merc when suddenly there is a bang from the rear of the Wong-mobile. The back end starts to fish-tail a little and Wongy brings the car to a halt. When we hop out of the car our suspicions are confirmed – we’ve had a blowout! Again, in the middle of nowhere, this time though we battle extreme heat as we attempt to change the tyre. The wheel nuts are burning hot as is everything else we touch. We have to pull all of the gear piled up in the boot out to get to the spare, choc the wheels with rocks, pull the caravan of porridge off the tow bar, then put it all back again in what must be 50 degrees. We realize how easy it would be to die out here without shade and water. Next thing, Wongy starts coughing and spluttering as he swallows a fly, only for Olly to do the same thing a couple of minutes later. Eventually we get the job done and are back on the road, but at a much slower pace as not to put too much pressure on the tyres because we don’t have a spare anymore.

When we arrive at Pine Creek, Andy Lee comes running up to our car and asks if one of us can play guitar ‘on air’ for their tribute to Pine Creek at the end of the show. The song they want to do is ‘Come out and play’ by ‘The Offspring’, and Scuzzi advises that Olly would be the best man for the job. Apparently, the story goes that they were panicking when we hadn’t arrived by half way through the show due to our breakdown. This is a pretty cool thing so we run around organizing video, camera’s, tune the guitar and Olly runs through the song a couple of times with Hamish and Andy in one of their breaks. It all goes to plan and about 20 minutes later Olly gets called up and they rip into the song. We pull it off and get a huge applause from the surrounding crowd. This was a bit of a buzz and totally lifts the spirits of the caravan of porridge. Thank you Hamish and Andy.
With the show done, we park the van and head for the very warm pool where we all party in the pool. There are kids in there, tubes, drinks and a basketball firing around like a rocket. Next thing we know, we see Vaughney and some old lady racing a ride-on lawn mower and an electric wheelchair around the caravan park. Very funny indeed! A very good time had by all. Then it’s off to the local pub for dinner and some drinks, then back to the outdoor pub where we are all staying for even more drinks. It’s a bit crazy, drunks singing, dogs running around, some Asian woman trying to hit on everyone…

Day 9

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

“The Peacock Plate – the race that stops nothing”

Today we wake up in beautiful downtown Wyecliffe Well, and after a night of actual half decent sleep for Olly and Wongy, were feeling pretty good, though I’m not sure Scuzzi can say the same. Anyway, it’s the same old ritual that takes place – shower, empty bins, clean up, pack up, grab a breakfast snack and drink and head up the guts some more.
It’s a stinking hot day in the Territory and everything in the Wong-mobile is feeling it, including the CD player which starts to slowly die. We push on though, stopping at Tennant Creek among other towns for more fuel and Red Rooster... oh and lets not forget our stop at the devils marbles which is like hundreds of huge boulders stacked up on top of and against each other, which is a bit of a site to see. So after a while and about 300k’s later we arrive at today’s town of Elliot. We pull into the caravan park just before the show is about to start with ‘Addicted to love’ absolutely thumping. Hamish and Andy placed in front of there microphones with headphones on give us the ‘devil horns’ rock sign. Then Andy comes running over to tell us that they aren’t going to stay in Elliot as planned, basically because it is ummm shit? So we agree that after the show we’ll push on to the next town on the itinerary. Today’s show is in ridiculous 43 degree heat and includes the ‘Peacock Plate’ to celebrate Melbourne cup day, which entails 5 contestants, one of which is our own Scuzzi, to race to try and catch a peacock. It was pretty funny to watch the 5 chosen caravaners running around mad trying to catch a peacock, one of which falls onto some rocks and rips his leg apart.. Ouch. He lives to tell the tale which was a good thing. At the end of the show, Olly and Scuzzi, oh and Wongy on finger clicks, are chosen to keep the beat for the traditional farewell song, a tribute to Elliot.

The show ends and its back on the road for more food and fuel stops and another 300 scorching k’s onto Mataranka. We cruise through half of this trek in the dark past more road kill, some bush fires and plenty of stupid driving games to eventually arrive at our destination much to our delight. That was one hell of a long hot drive, believe me. We procrastinate about where to put the Caravan of Porridge for the night then head to the resorts restaurant for a couple of Chicken Palma’s followed by a swim in the resort pool which is warmer than your average bath water, but refreshing still the same under the circumstances. To quote Hamish Blake “I needed to stand under the hairdryer to cool down”. Wongy’s wrecked and falls asleep again, in what is a pretty uneventful night as all sorts of bats, peacocks and god knows what surround the caravans making the weirdest assortment of noises…. Goodnight. Olly. 

Day 8

Monday, 3rd November, 2008

“Lets all drink at the well.”

After a very hung-over and fly infested morning, and Wongy having probably the longest shower in modern history, the boys finally pull out of Aileron Road house, with the premise they are welcome back anytime to stay for free (add that to list of free stuff). With Wongy the ‘Hell Cat’ at the wheel it isn’t long before Olly and Scuzzi are snoring and Wongy in line with our new tradition of “snap the sleeping stooges” takes some photos. We pull into Wycliffe Well caravan park just Ham and Ando are starting their show. It is so ridiculously hot. And we all congregate under the tin roofed barbeque area. After the show everyone heads of to the pool for drinks and some crazy ball games. After going out U.F.O. hunting (as Wyecliffe Well is the number one spot for U.F.O. sightings in Australia) the boys join us. Hamish and Scuzzi bustle at one end for the ball, Hamish being slightly taller, but Scuzzi having the edge in body strength. Unfortunately in their quest for domination of the pool skies they are both outdone by a twelve year old. After the pool it is back to the site for some sleep for Olly and Wongy, and some bizarre happenings for the now energetic Scuzzi. First of all, the guitar comes out, then after some somewhat scary behavior from the local indigenous community the whole park gathers at the European Union Vs Caravan of porridge site. This is followed by a stand off situation between some drunken aboriginal locals, one of which claims she has a broken back, and the might that is the caravan of courage. Vaughney, Munga, Scuzzi and some of the bigger boys venture out and sort out the problem before it gets out of hand.

After that it’s back to the site, Vaughney steals some random park stooges motor bike and cuts some laps of the park. While Scuzzi and Kathy (of Kath and Kim, or mumsy fame) play UNO against him. This park stooge had an amazing set up, disco lights hanging from the trees, pink floyd and cd player, yes its pretty obvious that may have been some illegal herbal medicines in his caravan, quite a few of which I would say he had ingested, Kath and Scuzzi play a few Jedi mind tricks on him, using the UNO reverse cards to play with his mind. Scuzzi goes back to the van to find Wongy waking up and a random ranga caravaner, Emma asleep on the step. Wongy and Scuzzi go for a walk and feel they are being watched, funnily enough it turns out to be a statue and its shadow, then it’s off to bed, the heat has really taken its toll us all.  Scuzzi signing out.  

Day 7

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

“C.O.C STOCK – The Concert”

After last night’s craziness, Olly wakes to a raging headache of death. It seems to take an eternity to get showered and packed up for the days journey ahead and we eventually crawl out of the resort, petrol up and hit the frog and toad. Today’s route see’s us pass though Alice Springs via Macca’s, and Coles to stock up on some essentials on our way to Aileron Northern Territory. Sometime late afternoon we arrive at our destination to discover this 9 person town which consists of a roadhouse, a caravan park and a couple of lizard statues. At this point I need to point out that the flies up here are in plague proportions, they latch on to you and I’m sure that they start throwing punches at you once they land on you, its infuriating to say the least. Bloody flies!!!! Aaarrgghh!!! We hook the van up and hope to win our fortune by slipping a couple of dollars through the 3 pokie machines in the venue but typically yield little results.
Outside the roadhouse Hamish and Andy and crew are setting up for the nights cross to Rove Live. In the meantime we organized to put on the biggest show Aileron has seen in years, if ever? It will be called COCSTOCK the outback concert, second only to the famous WOODSTOCK. We all stand around and watch the feed which is a bit of a laugh then get down to the business of sound checking and preparing for the show. Little did we know, we were about to experience one hell of a night.
We start to play around 9:30 and immediately grab the attention of the caravaners and locals alike. The first set is a big hit, it reminds us of the shitty country gigs we used to do years ago, but this one feels a lot more special considering the company and circumstances. Our good mate “Stuey” (the inventor of the beastiality song) and a couple of friends of his have also made the mad dash from Alice Springs to join us for the night which is pretty cool. We have a break and hand it over to DJ Wongy, as we drink it up and carry on and laugh with Ham and Andy. I remember at one point us all dropping ‘bombs’ and dancing like clowns to the grease mega-mix and YMCA, from there on in the night was out of control. There was even a worm competition, something of which Hamish Blake is a well practiced professional, but Scuzzi provided a more than worthy adversary, I think break dancing was the winner in the end. Scuzzi revs up the crowd by starting a Wongy Wongy Wongy, type cricket chant. Eventually we get back on and do our second set. I remember the pub staff lining shots up at the bar to entice us to keep playing any way they can, like we need persuading? Everyone’s going off and I’m sure the locals are amazed at what circus has come to town. There were even a couple of dogs hanging out in the pub. We pull out all the big tracks then finish with a couple of acoustic songs then drink, drink, drink…. I remember being wrapped up in duct tape on the dance floor at one point, why? I have no idea? The rest of the night goes about the same, ummm…. Eventually, way too late into the morning and way too many flies later we get a little sleep… Olly.

Day 6 

“C.o.C on a Rock”

Saturday, 1^st November, 2008

Mid morning, we up the official dim sim count, down some dodgy chicken for breakfast and say goodbye to Coober Pedy. We plough through the rain and our first stop is a town called ‘Marla’ where Scuz and Wong flirt they’re comedy routine at the local cop ‘Stacy’ who apparently has a partner called ‘Moose’, we have a bit of a laugh at ‘Stacy and the moose’ and its back on the road. Next stop is ‘Kalgara’ where we put our heads in those stupid cut out characters for some equally stupid photos (see photos). This place has the most amazing ‘vinegar stip chicken’ one could wish for, which we couldn’t resist. Back at the wheel it would prove to be our longest and most tedious stretch so far, a good 8 hour drive with consistant rain thrown in to test us. Remember this is central outback Australia we are talking about here, it has never rained here, until now of course.

Later that afternoon we spot some big rock in the distance and not long after pull into the Ayers Rock resort. We organize our site for the night with the other caravaners, crack some blondes then excitedly pile the three of us, Juddy and Herman the German back into the Wong-mobile and head for the rock itself. This was one god-damn funny outing, let me tell you. We get to the first viewing area and take in the enourmity of what is truly a sensational site. Ayers Rock or Uluru is well worth the journey for those of you that haven’t seen it. So we stop and basically terrorize a couple of German lads who were unfortunate enough to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time, we take some photos for them and some of our own of which we realize afterwards that Juddy had his testicles out for. Back in the Wong-mobile, Wongy treats the Uluru circuit around the rock like a race track in the big V8. We stop at a second view point then at the third Olly and Scuzzi decide to get some photos doing the ‘dirty dancing’ lift in front of rock, while out of the corner of our eye we catch Herman the German in his drunken state ‘mooning’ a bus load of tourists. At that point we decide its probably a good idea to off load him to some of the other caravaners that we caught up with. Im sure they didn’t appreciate the gift as we drove off with a sly grin. We get around the back of the rock and do a bolt though the rain to a little watering hole where Wongy jumps the fence pretending to retrieve an item of clothing someone has thrown there, but really wants a photo opportunity in the sacred ground. Click… and we bolt back to the car and head back to the resort.

Showered and ready for the night we cruise in Wongs car down to the outback bar where the rest of the E.U., Ham and Andy and the fox crew are at. It is a massive undercover beer garden with a huge outback bbq and bar. A local named ‘Mal’ is entertaining the crowd with some Aussie classics. After a really great big outback burger the drinks start flowing a plenty. Ham and Andy sign autoghraphs and take photos with locals while Connolley, (the new Welsh contingent in the old E.U.) buys rounds and rounds of shots. 

Things start getting crazy when Andy teaches us the beauty of our new favourite activity called “dropping a bomb”. The way it works is one person will yell out “shit, someone dropped a bomb” or “bomb in the building”, then that person will place their camera face up on the ground with the timer set, everyone surrounding has to then run in and form a circle over the camera, looking downward, and pull faces or scream out, then when the bomb goes off you end up with one hell of a funny photo. Our record bomb for the night was set off by Wongy, Juddy, Ham and Angie, four cameras and twelve and a half people involved. Andy then shared a few slightly drunken yarns with Scuzzi and Wongy about how he met his girlfriend Megan Gale. The night was getting wilder by the second. Herman had for some reason rubbed up a couple of locals the wrong way and trouble was brewing, was the C.o.C. about to get into its first big outback style bar fight. Ham and Andy’s body guard/minder/mechanic “Munga” looked on to make sure nothing to untoward happened.  But it did look like it was time to call it a night. The whole crew stumbled out of the bar and onto the shuttle bus to head back to the caravan park. Juddy had bought along another passenger in the shape of a sign he had stolen. To the amusement of the driver we sang a few classics on the bus. I’m sure the Welsh boys choir has nothing to worry about though. Back at the park we discover that the C.o.P. key is still in Wongy’s car back at the pub. He and Olly decide to walk back to get it. They get a few hundred metres down the road when Scuzzi hurtles out of the shadows like a giant winged creature, riding a push bike, that he had somehow managed to find, well borrow without consent. Wongy and Olly break out in fits of laughter and offer him a very dodgy looking beer. (story of the beer is best left for a more private forum)  This is followed by a two stooge dink back to Wongy’s car. After picking up the car Scuzzi, in scenes not to dissimilar to Nicole Kidman in BMX bandits, tries to race Wong back to the van. The E.U. is still up and has acquired some “new friends”. After some very very dodgy behaviour and a some slightly dodgy video footage in the E.U.’s Appollo van. It is time for bed.  Goodnight.            

Olly and Scuzzi.