Last Sunday, I went to two convalescent homes with a Buddhist group. we brought in some performances to entertain the elders. at each facility we had about 30 to 40 grandmas and grandpas, some of them are very old, some of them could not even open their eyes and some of them has no expression on their face what so ever and yet some look excited.

at each of the facility, I hold hands and looked at some of the elders in their eyes with care. I shifted to the front of an elderly lady. I don't know her exact age, I assumed at least 80 years old. she appeared fragile and her skin is very pale. I extended my hand to hold hers. initially she looked down at my hand holding her hand then she looked up into my eyes with minor surprise then gradually a spark lightened up in her eyes and through her eyes I think I saw a sense of joy flowing through her body. She pulled my hand to her lips and kissed my hands. initially i was a little resistant and tried to pull my hands away, then I removed that resistance and just let her kiss my hand. She needed a human connection like that. She needed someone to be there for no reason what so ever. I did not do much on that day and I did not spent much time there on that day. comparing to the workers that are there day in and day out and taking care of these grandpas and grandmas what I did on that day is not much, but I feel really good about it. about the brief moments of pure connection.

Every time I hold their hands, they hold my hands too and they accepted my humanly interaction. some responded quickly and others responded a little slower. most looked me in the eyes with a touch of love, a desire for love, a fulfillment from connection on the most basic basis. I could feel the pureness of each human interaction and I could feel that basic human connection as well as they do.

This is a pure human interaction without expectation of anything in return. Everyone has a story in their mind. Some of the elders may very well be loved by their kids and yet some others may not have anybody visiting them. A visit from me and others in my group may remind the second category of elders that something is so pure that people will give it without asking anything in return. what does that mean? could it mean the existence of pure love?  could it be a confirmation? It maybe a one time instance or it maybe something eternal.

never trade in your car.

1. To sell your car do the following:
1. find out the value (Private party, dealer) of your car on  http://www.kbb.com/ 
2. post it on http://www.craigslist.org
3. make sure you accept the following payment method only:Cash, Money order, or paypal. no personal check. 
2. To buy a car do the following:
   
1. go to http://www.motors.ebay.com/
2. look for cars under 50000 miles preferably Japanese cars. rank by price
   
3. look for dealers/sellers with at least 100 car selling history. this ebayer should not sell anything but cars.
   
4. look for dealers/sellers with at least 95% feedback score and ignore all the rest sellers. 
5. pick a car of your liking.
   
1. give the seller a call
2. ask about car history
3. ask about payment method
   
3. get a carfax report from http://www.carfax.com/
4. get an independent inspector from Ebay if you want to
   
5. shop for a loan if you need to
1. go to google.com
   
2. type in auto loan or car loan to search for a loan. some can do the whole thing online some need to call
3. some good companies: citi auto loan, capital one, eloan ( you need to compare rate and fees.
   
6. once you get the loan you will get a check, mail that check to the seller
   
7. arrange for shipping
   
8. pick up your car
9. call or email me with any questions.

today somebody wanted me to comment on his poem. this is what i wrote to him.

"hey buddy. thank for stopping by my page.
you know. we don't own our body. We just have temporary custody of it. You, me, him and her, no exception. Our spirit is the only thing that is lasting. Just like your mother's spirit is forever too. You have use of your body now, just for your life time. it is a loan from God. Don't waste it. Use it fully, never idle, never give up, always walk toward a dream. Say to yourself, "Live Today Full Out!" Ask yourself, "what if I did not give my all and become who I could have been?!" your mother gave you this opportunity to come to this earth, to be among us. To thank her and to show her that you care why don't you make good use of your body amd mind and the temporary time you have on earth? Yes. you will sufer, yes. you will be beat down by obstacles, but with every setbacks you gain something for your spirit. You become wiser and you evolve, and you grow. We all have the right answer inside of us. I know you do too!"

Remember the darkest hours of your life is just before dawn. If you just push a little harder you will see the sun rise. Envision how beautiful it will be when it does come. Also know that it is not the end when you do succeed because you have higher meanings and goals to go after. That is why we cannot be complacent after we have succeeded. We will continue to push ourselves outside of the comfort zone and keep going back to that darkest place, to the darkest hours of dawn because we want to see the sunrise after each night.

Your friend Rick Chen

I have not played Chinese Checker since elementary school. Last night while hanging out with two 4 other friends I played it with a girl. She beat me really bad. I lost 4 times straight. I had not really been good with any kind of chess games, so I asked her how come she always find the way to jump so many steps in one play? She said you have to plan your game. And, while you are planning you cannot just look at your own game you have got to look at the opponent's situation on the board as well and factor in the entire game to plan your strategy. This pointer helped me a lot and I got better with every game and finally beat her. Here is what I learned about what you have to do to win in life just like when you are playing the game of Chinese checker.

1. In life: Always ask, learn, and model after the expert. That way you will know the right way to do it.
In the chess game: If I had not asked her I would not have know I would have kept loosing.
2. In life: Before making any move always visualize every possible choice in mind first.
In the Chess game: Like a computer I just visually run through each of my pawns on the board and see which one could go the furthest given the situation at the time.

3. In Life: Whenever embarking on a goal you have to weight your situation as well as the market condition. and find out the endeavor  that you can garner the highest possibility of success. 
In game: I recalculate every time before I make a move because the opponent's pawns moves all the time and in many cases I have to rely on opponents to pick the pawn that can jump furthest.

4. In life: in the ancient Chinese saying, one famous quote says, 'timing, location, and people.' What it basically says is that you want to pick the easiest option that fits you best to maximize your chances of winning.
a. you have to look at the market condition (whether too early, too late, or just the right time);
b. you have to look at the location (where is it most advantageous to start the business, the east, the west, large cities or second tier cities, online or off line);
c. you also have to look at the people around you (which people to partner with or hire and which position to put them into).
In game: you have to consider the whole game to win.

5. In Life: before making a decision you have to pick the option that can benefit you in the long as well as short run.
in game: each move I make I try to set it up as best as possible so that it can prepare for my next pawn to move as far as they can.

6. In life: Life is like a game, if you stay idle, stay in your comfort zone, not making breakthrough and grow within yourself you don't have a life. you just have an existence.
Life is like a game if you move blindly then you will loose every time and live a mere existence. You going about your life aimlessly without a goal, without planning, without meaning.
In life you only get what you want only if you kept trying, adjusting, modeling after successful people or make new creation and never give up.
In game: you will loose if you wait for too long. You will loose if you make a move blindly.

Make life a fun game. Don't idle in fear. Don't move blindly. Kept trying, learning, growing, creating, and succeeding. Never Give Up!

Pitalls in Rental Apartment Purchases

1. Find out the remaining life span of the roof. Roof is one of the largest expenses for apartment owners. make sure it is still in good quality when purchasing a rental property. If it is not use it as a bargaining tool to low the price or ask the seller for credit to repair.

2. Make sure the laundry machine rental contract pay out is reasonable. If not make sure the contract is terminating soon. Otherwise using it as a bargaining too as well.

3. Have the property inspected by an experienced physical inspector. You may also want to order an appraisal to get a fair market value.

4. Visit the property, talk to current tenants and inspect as many units as possible to find out all that is wrong with the property. Most importantly find out the condition of major items such as stove, dishwashers, air conditioning, water heaters, and roof. The repair of these items can bankrupt you very quickly, unless it is a fixer upper sold at significant bargaining price. 

5. Choose property where people want to live, close to shops, parks and decent schools, and in a well-kept neighborhood. There's nothing worse than owning a rental property without any renters. Make sure tenants from the area have plenty of employment opportunities. rental properties belong to the district of great schools (make sure it really belong to that district because in many cases people living in the same zip codes maybe asked to attend two very different schools) and nearby beaches are the best.

7. bargaining points: anything physically wrong with the property, low pay out and long term contract for the laundry lease, short term tenant lease contract or long term tenant lease contract with low rental rate can all be used as bargaining chips while negotiating for the price of the rental property.

Steps to Financial Independence through Real Estate Investments

I am glad that you on my site! wish you the best of luck with your life and let us keep in touch.  I want to share a story with you. 12 years ago when I was in the Army I heard a more experienced soldier talking about how to set aside a portion of his income to be directly deposited into his bank savings account, so that he can save some money. And, that is what I did, when I got out I was able to save a little, but not a lot, just enough for me to purchase a car.  There is another way that is actually better than saving money in the bank, which is to investing in real estates. Here is the steps.

1. keep a good fico credit score
1. Get a credit card if dont have one. If no credit at all deposit some money in a bank and get a debt or credit card from that bank
   
2. don't owe more than 50% of your credit limit. example: You have a credit card with $1000 credit line (meaning you can charge it to buy $1k worth of things you want). You take this credit card and go buy your farovite things
   
3. pay on time and pay more than the minimum; An example: with that same credit card your pay came with the minimum requried payment to be $49. you dont want to pay just that $49, instead you want to either pay more than $49 or pay it off. a good tool for you to monitor all of your online account is Mint.com. I use it to budget and get text message notices.
   
4. call periodically to increase credit line; an exmaple: let us say you have had this account for 8 month and you have been charging on the card and pay more than the minimum amount on a monthly basis now call them to ask for credit increase. Your script to the bank rep.: the bank rep: "how may I help you?" you: "yes. Could you increase my credit line because I am getting ready to make some large purchase." the bank rep: "ok. I would be happy to do that for you. Ms. Smith do you understand that in order to request for credit increase We would have to run your credit would you still like to proceed?" you: "yes. go ahead please." the bank rep: "ok. Ms. Smith we have increased your credit line to $1,900. Is there anyting else we may help you with?" you: "no. thank you very much. bye bye."
   
5. keep your credit score as high as possible, ideally over 720
   
2. get VA loan eligibility certificate by contacting your local va loan officer
   1. http://www.homeloans.va.gov/rlcweb.htm
      
3. start looking for real estates and get a good realtors
   
   • http://www.realtor.com/
   • www.newhomesource.com
   • http://www.hud.gov/homes/index.cfm
   • http://www.ocwen.com/
     
4. sites to do research
   
   • http://www.dqnews.com/ find out real estate sales history and trend data
     
   • http://www.city-data.com/ find out real estate sales history and trend data
     
   • http://www.schoolmatters.com/ find out school performance for the area the home is located
     
5. find a good mortgage broker and get va mortgage (for your primary residence) and
   
   1. http://www.homeloans.va.gov/index.htm
      
   2. http://www.ocwencustomers.com/va_vfp.cfm va vandee loan (for investment homes. you dont have to be a veteran or the princple resident to qualify. the interest rate is currenlty at 5.5%. the down payment needed is 0-5%.
   3. http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/reo/goodn/gnndfaq.cfm  it is a special program for law enforcement officers, firefighers, EMT, and teachers
      
6. find a good management company to manage your investment property if it is far from you
   • http://www.marshallreddickseminars.com/mrweb/mrren/Home.aspx
   • you may find some good networking information from the group above. I think they make money by referring you to buy other peoples property. you have to make sure the price of properties that they pitch to you are at or below market value.
     

hope this quick guide was helpful to you. let me know if you have any questions.

How to Beat Out Other Competitive Buyers

Although many consider it a down market, I still ran into a lot of competitors whenever I tried to get a good deal. I am surprised at how many investors are out there hunting for good deals. Every time I make an offer on a below market home the answer I get from the agent is that we already have 3 offers on the property. If you want to get the house you better offer higher than the listing price. So here I have some things to share with you about how to make your offer appear more appealing to the seller.

Have a cover letter highlighting positive aspects of your offer in bold big letters, so that the agent/seller will see your pluses the second it prints out of their fax machine. 

Examples of some of the positive things that sellers love to see are:

All Cash Offer 

Excellent Fico/credit score (700+) 

3% or more deposit

30% or more Down payment

Bank statement showing proof of down payment 

Stable Employment History

W2 and Financial Statement showing proof of Income 

To make sure that the seller counter you back make sure to provide as much proof document as possible (copy of 3% check for deposit, online bank statement print out proving source of down payment, copy of w2 or financial statement for proof of income.

Save the Most $ when Buying Real Estates

After having a correct valuation of the home you want to buy now you can work on saving more money. the sources where you can save the most money when buying a home are:

1.  The seller. the higher the sense of urgency a seller has the more of a bargain you will get. to negotiate with a seller it is best to chop down the price little by little. For example if the comparable value of the home is $500k and the seller wanted $520k for his/her house if you just offer $400k straight out it is very likely you won't get a counter offer. so the best way to do it is to chop off the price little by little. you can first make a $460k offer and have a comparable data showing value of the home to the seller. the seller may counter back $460 (you have just saved $40k off of the value of the home). To make sure that your offer is competitive please read my other blog on this page, "How to Beat Out Other Competitive Buyers." In the initial offer make sure to include all of the items you wanted in the house and items needing repaired.

2. Intangible items in the home you wanted to buy. After agree upon on the price you can request for some of the items in the house such as refrigerator, washer and drivers, televisions and etc. you can save another $10,000 or more here. Some times it is an either or situation. you may get the bargain price but not the items, but it all depends on how motivated the seller is.

3. Repair Expenses. Upon acceptance of offer you can save more money by bargaining with the seller about the repairs. the seller may either help you to repair, give you the credit to repair, or not to repair anything. From the time of offer acceptance you have 14 days contingency period (in California) to perform your due diligence. this is the time to hire a inspector to find out everything that is wrong with the home. take that inspection report back to the seller and request for the repair (ask your agent to send a document called request to repair to the seller/seller agent). At this time the seller is more inclined to negotiate with you since he/she already spent substantial time working with you and that you two already have a contract. However you have the right to back out before the 14 days contingency period so the seller will likely to agree to your repair request.

4. Agent Commission. Save money on the agents commission. Many agents may beat on me for putting this up here, but it is just one of the options and when you use this option please be reasonable. the agents needs to feel they are adequately compensated for their work too. In a situation where one agent represent both the seller and you he/she maybe getting 5 or 6%  commission, in this case you may ask the agent to come down a 1 pint or 2 on the commission. It is a balance act you want to save some commission but your priority is still that the agent is happy enough with his/she commission and that stay loyal to you.

5. Mortgage Broker Commission. An inside fact that most consumer do not know is that the higher the interest point the mortgage broker gets you to pay the more commission he/she gets paid. Mortgage brokers are basically mortgage retailers. they get the wholesale rate from banks and resell the mortgage package to you. For example, if they get you to pay 7.5% interest they may get 3% of the money you borrow in commission whereas if you pay 6% interest they may get 1.5% in commission. There are other fees in a mortgage transactions too. Again you want to be reasonable. Maybe you can get the best interest rate but pay some fees. if you ask for both that would leave the mortgage brokers no profit. If you have great credit profile you may get a better deal by going straight to the bank. otherwise you may have to go through a mortgage broker to package the deal for you so that you can get the loan that is why the mortgage broker gets to make some profit. the rate of mortgage also differs greatly depending on whether it is a primary home that you are buying or investment home.

5.  Transaction Fees. the many transaction fees usually amounts to 2% of the purchase price. this is where most buyers overlook. you can go to this neat site to check out the approximate market cost of each items in your transaction  http://www.feedisclosure.com then ask your agent to see the HUD 1 settlement report to compare with the prices stated on feedislcosure.com to see whether the cost in this report is reasonable. 

Correctly Valuing a Real Estate

Love is a complicated matter to explain. Previously I have attempted to explain ingredients of a healthy relationship, however, I felt I could not possibly cover all aspect of it so I gave up on doing so and deleted it. Then I thought about it. It is OK. I don't have to get it all right, after all who can, who can completely explain love? Nobody can. So, I will just write what I already knew. and maybe you can fill in the blanks.

I will cover many important aspect of relationship here, but even you have done it all your relationship probably still won't work, however there is a secret, and it is at the end of this essay.

Communication
Men should talk in women's language and vice versa.

Like for Like's Sake (I am not sure what Love is yet, so I call it like)
It is OK for a guy to like a girl partly because she is voluptuous. It is OK for a girl to like a guy partly because he is rich and/or powerful. However, it is not OK when the girl doe not like the guy (no chemistry), but stay with the guy because the guy can provide for her (this can go both ways).

Chemistry
Chemistry is a mysterious thing to explain. I doubt I can pull it off here, so I will not try, but I do think it has something to do with our parents, about the quality we admire in a person,  what is considered beautiful and good in our society. OK, that is all I am gonna say about chemistry.

Mutual Agreement of Standards
there has to be mutual agreement of standards on just about every thing in a relationship. For example maybe your mate don't like your way of squeezing the toothpaste. You can agree with it, then problem solved. this problem is a little easier to solve if you love your mate and is willing to go with it.

However, there are more complicated issues in a relationship than how to squeeze toothpaste. How each partner interacts with members of the opposite sex outside of the relationship is a major issue in relationship sometimes.* 

For example, your boyfriend may have a habit of always taking phone calls away from you and you are really bothered by that, so here we have a disagreement of standard on how each of you answer phone calls. there are a couple of ways to solve it. option 1. your boyfriend may agree to answer all of the phone calls in front of you when he is with you. problem solved. option 2, You may suck it up and let him answer his phone call however he prefers. problem solved only if you are really OK with it and not just saying you  are OK with it. Option 3. your boyfriend still answers his phone call his way. you are still not OK with it, but you tell him. 'I am not comfortable with you doing that, however I want you to be sure to let me know when you think there is some one that you are attracted to before you get involved with that person that way I am aware and can make the decision to leave if I wanted to.' (Ideally speaking this may work, but in reality it is not very likely.)

As you can see here, the key here is not how high or low the standard is, as long as you two have reached an agreement on that standard that is what matters.

*we are using conventional relationships here, so if you have other than conventional relationship the topic applies to you too except that the characters involved has different genders.

Mutual Respect
In public, we normally have to be polite to the people that we interact with because that is the accepted way to interact with other people and most of the time we are obligated to be civil because our livelihood depends on it. In our private lives it is a little different. Some times we don't depend on our loved ones to make a living, so we are civil with them because we really love them, but some times things get out of hand. Maybe the two are in an argument, or maybe one have had a bad day, whatever reason it maybe some of us don't treat our loved ones as good as we should have. this is where one has to make sure to always respect the loved ones just because we love them, not because of any exterior obligations.

Mutual Trust
This one is very crucial. It is a one way street. once it is gone it is not very likely that you will get it back, so don't mess it up. The best way to avoid mistrust is to not lie at all. that is the best policy. If you lie there is no end to it and you need to keep lying. If you have had a change of heart, just move on. it is really a pain to continue to grind it out when there is nothing left.  the only way it might continue to work is when the two still love each other and the one that was being cheated on is willing to forgive the one that has cheated. that is the only way it will work. One good friends of mine have been with his girlfriend for a long time and he has taken a lot of shit from her (yeah. some can be really bitchy). He also forgive his girlfriend and now they are doing great. I can not believe they are still together. If I were him, she would have been long gone.

Balance
There has to be a balance between the two. It seldom work out if the love tips too much to one side. Some acquaintance I knew  loves his wife a lot. I don't know if his wife loves him, but certainly much less than his love for her. Even if she had some feeling for him, those feelings are all gone by now due to the guys smothering way of love. You see there is no balance here. He checks her call records all the time, questions his wife if she wants to get a divorce, there is just no end. It is completely out of balance. It is not gonna work. If I were his wife, I'd go banana too. The balance point here is not really a condition, it is more of a wrong start. It happens usually because of the partners decided to be with one another due to some alternative motives. It maybe money, immigration status, whatever it maybe except love. After all it is her fault, because I think she is only with him because she thinks she could have it easy, and now they are life is all messed up. She still could not let it go cause she could not make a living for herself. Now she has to looking for another unlucky guy (this whole thing can go both ways). See that is the power of karma, so do good and don't be evil.

Look Good for Your Partner
Initially, I did not included this point in the writing, but one of my female blog readers commented this point, so I will briefly talk about it. Have you noticed, during the beginning of the relationship when the two are really in love you always make sure that  you look your best when you meet each other? As the relationship furthers down the road. the one that is still really hot for the other will continue to look good for the partner, but the one that has sort of lost interest in the other will start to neglect his or her appearance. that is a sign that your partner's interest in you is rapidly diminishing (it may not always be the case, but in most cases it is true). From my past experience, I felt that if I like the person a lot, even if she did not keep her appearance really well, I still liked and loved her. If the girl that I am with I don't really like  her that much and if she did not maintain her appearance well, then I would get annoyed very quickly. I don't know how girls feel about this point, so you can comment on this.

Good Sex

Overall, I am probably not the ideal person to talk about relationship since my longest relationship did not last past three years, but since I am writing this I will just go with my personal experience.

Once in the car with a few coworkers after finishing lunch. I asked Angel (not her real name), 'how long have you and your husband been married?' She said, '12 years.'  Then, I asked her what does it felt like for you two now. She said she felt like her husband is like her cousin. I was dumbfounded hearing that answer. See I have never been in a relationship that long, so I would not know. For me I think sex is really important in a relationship. After all, all healthy people have needs in these department aren't we all? It increases productivity too and betters relationships too, so why now.

So, you are here and you wonder. Wow these is a lot that I have to look out for in a relationship and after all that my relationship still may not work.  Is it really that hard? Actually it is not. Let me share the secret with you now.

the Secret
Once I heard a story on radio. A reporter interviewed an old couple. They have been married for 70 years. the reporter asked the old couple: "what is the secret of your long lasting relationship?" The old man said: "We never give up on each other at the same time." 

so this is my rough draft. any comments?