We headed out from Houston on Saturday morning August 2nd? Well, anyhow, it was a good 9 hours or so before we got into Memphis at 730 or so, the first night was mostly a getting to know eachother, the 18 of us on the trip. It was kinda neat, my brother in laws students are some great people. We arrived a day early so we attended their church for Sunday service. Then had a subtle lunch and met at the site where we would be ministering to the kids that lived in the neighborhood of where we were given to serve. There were 3 other groups of missionaries that came that week and the church we were helping had been having this back yard bible club going on all summer long. We were there for the last week of the summer. It was truly a blessing to both us and the impoverish youth that live in this area.
 We set out the first day to pick up and meet the kids it was really great I had no idea what to expect. There were 4 areas kinda like a vacation bible school. We had a games area, crafts, bible stories and a songs section. We divided the children up into groups by age. After the first day of outreach to the kids in the afternoons we had other oportunities to reach the community. Each day being different. The first day we went to an area known as Grey road and basically picked up trash form the sides of the street. ministering when we could but basically helping them by showing them that somoene cares. Our second day we again ministered to the kids in the morning and then in the afernoon we set out house to house to witness door to door. It was challenging but suprising myself God filled my mouth with words and I was able to reach out to several homes and though there were 4 of us grouped together I was outspoken. I'm just thankful that God was willing to use me and place the words in my heart to speak. There were some tough homes, and many didn't answer, still, it was quite and experience and it definitely opened my heart to want to do so again. Our third day almost got rained out, in fact it kinda did, but we went out to the kids an yhow and went to their houses instead. Met with the kids and basically just got to know them more and spend time with them. That afternoon we went to the nursing home. Myself Chris and Kevin and Jeremy stayed in the cafeteria area and worshiped with those gathered there, it was so humbling to sing for them, seeing their eyes light up and hear them lift up their own voices in praise. I didn't want to leave. Honestly we weren't very prepared with songs, even still the residents didn't seem to mind. They mentioned to one of the regular staff of the church why they didn't sing for them more often. Im hoping that the 4 of us can get together here and minister in local nursing homes. I pray God opens that door for us. Our 4th day we got even more kids to come than the days prior and our last day we got even more. At the beginning of the week I was working with the 2-4 y/o children, but the last 2 days I got to work with the 10-12 y/o range I honestly enjoyed that a little more. Although the little ones had it's own enjoyment. It was a better learning experience for me in reaching the kids that had more influence in their schools and in the neighborhoods. I mostly stood back and followed by example. Being my first mission trip and giving I hadn't taught at a vacation bible school before I wanted to learn more than teach.  That afternoon we spent time with some youth at a local gym. These kids however we were told specifically we couldn't mention God and it wasn't like our other afternoons where we spent time witnessing on some degree. Still we did our best to be Christ like and mentor to them.
All of our evenings were spent in worship and then a get together to discuss our days, what children we got attached to most. Any specific events that might have occured and so forth. As for me, there was this one 4 yo named Jaheim. He was a tough kid with a huge attitude. I wanted so desperately to crack him. Funny I received 2 comments or 3 about the boy and how they noticed me trying, but the boy is a tough one. So don't feel too harshly on myself. He is still in my prayers now and then. He had an older brother whom my sister has a picture up on her facebook page that I took. I believe they are all good kids, they just have a harsh upbringing in a world that is cruel and unfair to them. If there was one thing I learned is that it is like my song We, in the second verse God told me that you must believe that you are the answer. And ultimately, instead of waiting for someone else to come along and do the job, I need to realize that the reason I am even contemplating it is because I am the one designed to do something. God opened my heart Thursday night, though I was fighting Him about sharing that song, He made it clear to me that I needed to. I even tried to hide in the room to avoid worship that night, though God led me to my bible and I read Job 35 and continued. It may not make much sense but when Elihu speaks about being righteous or wicked and what difference it would make. My heart realized the truth in it. I decifered what it was that it meant. And I knew what I needed to do. Still I didnt want to. So God sent someone into the room and on his way out he killed the light :P so not being able to read anymore I went down and joined worship. then when I stood in the back of the room alone, there was one person from our group who, when we sat down, came over and sat next to me. So when I raised my hand while sitting, he nudged me and told me to stand. I honestly believe God knew I was trying to avoid singing. But instead of a big fish, God put people in my life to help me follow through. I shared the song, and as God planned it reached the hearts of so many of those in the room. Icouldnt even escape first without having people thank me for the song and it's message. Funny, had one person insist they needed it on their I pod, and another tell me he wants to be my manager. What I learned from that was that God called me to write, so I would share what was written. He called me to serve, not to seek. He wants me to listen, and what I came to realize, was I was listening, but I failed to do. So now Im doing. And I know, that there will be doors open in Houston for me to do just that. I will go wherever he leads me. Oh we also had a scavenger hunt that my sister made up. That was too fun. We gave a glass of water to a homeless person and witnessed to him. and there was alot of other stuff that my sister put on the list but that was the most interesting.
SO that was my experience. I know now, that missionary outreach isn't just reachong far away, but honestly, in your own back yard.
God bless you and thanks for reading this,
Fred Street reach 09

written by: Fred L Howell, 1995, edited June 2009

Everything starts to slip away,
Fading faster into gray,
I feel my life just "pass away",
And nothing's holding back my pain!

All the loss I must regain,
"Starting over" seems in-vain,
How can I forget my shame,
Knowing I'm the sole to blame...

Oh White Angel!
Please rescue me!
Oh White Angel,
Please set me free!
If I could be all I could be...
Well that's all I need.

Oh what is it I have done,
Destroyed my life for what I thought was fun,
I had it all, but now there's none,
I couldn't quit while I still had some,

All this hell I've suffered from,
Keeps creeping back, it's never gone,
Now I see what I've done was wrong,
Please give me the strength to carry on...

Oh White Angel,
Please rescue me,
Oh White Angel,
Please set me free,
If I could be all I could be,
Well that's all I need...

My mind is racing!,
I'm letting go!!
All these emotions,
My wounded soul,
Well can't I ever.. Become "whole?"
Cuz this depression is getting OLD!
My world is empty, I feel so cold,
My desperate measures have all been sold,
I've nothing left still my heart is gold,
If heaven's above me, TAKE ME HOME!!!

OH, WHITE ANGEL,
Please rescue me,
Oh Lord Jesus,
Please set me free,
If I could be all I could be...
Well that's all I... need,
OH Lord Jesus.....

"don't just let the days go by,
Gotta lift your eyes up to the sky,
You still believe!
Don't just sit and mope around,
get up on your feet, don't be kept down,
You can believe!

That Hope lies in all you believe in!
Belief, when it's strong can't be defeated!
Hope lies in all you believe in!
So believe in yourself,
What God created!

Don't just see the world as wrong.
You gotta do whats right, if you don't belong,
You still believe!
Don't just "quit", and walk away,
Your effort shows results, EVERYDAY!
You can believe!
That Hope lies in all you believe in!
Belief, when it's Truth, can't be defeated!
Hope lies in all you believe in!
So believe in yourself,
What God created, What He created!
Cuz Hope lies in all you believe in!!
Belief, when it's truth CANT BE DEFEATED!
Oh, Hope, lies in all you believe in,
believing in God, You're His creation,
Oh yeah,
You're His creation, I KNOW IT!!
Cuz Hope lies in all you believe in!!
Belief when it's TRUTH can't be defeated!!!
Oh Hope lies in all you believe in,
SO believe in yourself,
you're God's creation....

Love, is either a fools paradise or a faithful mans promise.
There is only one true way to spell love, T-I-M-E
Only after you've endured through hardship,
managed through sacrifice,
survived every trial satan puts in your way,
and still "know" what is true from all the lies placed before you.
Only when yourealize with your conscious mind that only
"true love" is what you seek to find,
will a fools paradise perish and be seen for the lie it is.
LUST
It can never afford love, because that is never it's desire.
Anguish for truth,
pleasure for lies.
The road to love takes time,
patience, caring, trust, faith, passion, honesty, understanding,
But most of all, sacrifice!
The one whom you love should always come first.
If you both end up happy, only then is it true.
Even then, it's never easy to banish,
a fools paradise

HI, well, I keep saying I will put some poetry up, and yet never do. My songs I've written are more or less poetry. So This is your moment to see what I am about in some of the songs I have written. The 3 I will be singing here in CT will be these. Or at least 2 of these. I won't know for sure till Friday when I go.

White Angel,

Everything starts to slip away, fading faster into gray,

I feel my life just pass away, and nothing's holding back my pain,

all the loss I must regain, starting over seems invain,

how can I forget my shame? knowing I'm the sole to blame.

 

Oh what is it I have done, destroyed my life for what I thought was fun,

I had it all but now theres none, I couldn't quit while I still had some,

all this hell I've suffered from, keeps creeping back, it's never gone,

now I see what I've done was wrong, please give me the strength to carry on.

   

     Oh white angel, please rescue me, Oh white angel, please set me free,

     If I could be all I could be, well that's all I need.

My mind is racing, I'm letting go! All these emotions, my wounded soul,

well can't I ever become whole? cuz this depression is getting old!

My world is empty, I feel so cold, my desperate measures have all been sold,

I've nothing left still my heart is gold, if Heavens' above me "take me home"

     Oh white angel, please rescue me, Oh white angel, please set me free

     If I could be all I could be, well that's all I need

    Oh white angel.

hmm. Don't feel like typing the other 2 just yet. So if you just read this and you want to know the other 2, speak up, your the reason I will take the time to post it.

 

This is a dedication to a friend. There is no describing the hurt and pain of anguish or remorse. The passing of a friend before 'his' time was ripe, and had gotten to taste the fruits of his labor. I write this now to try and open some eyes. Because rarely do we concern ourselves with the pains of our friends when we ourselves are suffering. 2 suffering people should help each other, not remove themselves from the mix. If you hurt find someone else who is hurting! 2 pains can soothe eachother. Nothing is worse than losing a friend that never reached out to save himself and had noone reaching for him to get help.  A feeling of lonliness is not an excuse. Any friend that is lost due to hurt feelings is a sacrifice not needed to be made. Suffering can be unbearable sometimes but the glory of rising back up again is worth the trials you have to face. Reach out! Please! Noone deserves to die broken inside. - People that share that feeling are the only ones I wish to meet. Because if you can't be a friend to your friends in need, then  "learn to".