I used three exclamation points in that subject. That's how important this is.

So, I was in Peru, kayaking, and I got a call on my cellular phone that one of the guys at the company who featured me, is up for web's sexiest host.

It's David Price. I took his headshot, that maybe you've seen in the show before. It's of him holding a watermelon. Brilliant, right? That's how you know I did. I'm sure tomorrow there will be a million people on myspace with pictures of themselves with watermelons. Whatev!

Anyhow, please go to this website and vote for Dave. He deserves to win. He's charming, and handsome, and it takes two seconds. You don't even have to register for anything.

Help the Sheff and Dave.

VOTE!!!

The starve starts now.

The Sheff loves Thanksgiving so gosh darn much I can barely contain myself. Here's why. Thanksgiving is a no pressure holiday. All you have to do is show up and eat, and with The Sheff's mom at the helm, it isn't hard.

I have to be honest, my mom is pretty great and she does Turkey Day right. Killer bird. Bonkers stuffing. Crazy carrot soup. Ridiculous mashed potatoes. Face melting gravy. Brain destroying rolls. Jaw dropping cranberry sauce. The list goes on and on. Mom hooks is up right. That's why I'm going on a starve beginning now.

I will not eat another solid food until I have a monster forkful of equal parts bird, stuffing, yam, stuffed mushroom, gravy, and cranberry sauce heading for my mouth.

Now I've taken this approach to each of the past seven Thanksgiving dinners and it has never turned out well. I usually pass out on the Tuesday before and am regulated to a liquid diet by a doctor, thus ruining the big meal for me on Thursday. However, the Sheff is a creature of habit, and this is a habit I want to continue. Hopefully this year will prove different. Probably not.

What's your favorite part of Turkey Day? Hit me up with a comment below.

As always, The Sheff Approves!!

Here's the deal. There are a lot of crazy evil people in the world. That's a fact. Here's another fact. None of them have MySpace pages. If they had MySpace pages, they would be so focused on updating pics and blogging, they wouldn't have time for any bad stuff.

That's why The Sheff would like to put out the offer to take profile pics for all the bad people out there. I guarantee that once they see how hot they can look holding a stuffed alpaca with a sunset background, they will give up their evil ways and be good form then on.

You see, The Sheff believes that all people are inherently good, and that it's never too late to turn your life around. Maybe these bad people caught a few tough breaks early on, and just need someone to say, "Hey, wanna be in my top 8?"

Now I'm not talking about super bad people like Sadaam. I don't care what his page layout was, nobody would top 8 that guy. But for all the other people that just feel like nobody gets them, The Sheff gets you. So instead of breaking into your neighbor's house tonight, get to work on your MySpace page.

As always, The Sheff Approves!!!

The Sheff reached out to you, his friends, and you did him a solid with a number of great costume suggestions. A.Lee's suggestion, in comic strip form, was very compelling, but with Halloween being a holiday equally for children and adults, the Sheff decided sporting a bare bottom was probably a bad, though hilarious idea.

Tessa's monkey suggestion also got a lot of consideration, as people like to look at monkeys, and thus I could get a lot of focused pics of people checking me out.

In the end, the winning suggestion actually came from my assistant Kevin, who said, "Sheff, you're the Sheff. Be a chef."

Now Kevin frequently walks the line between total lunacy and absolute genius, and this was no exception. However I feel this time he fell to the side of genius, as being a Chef is a perfect way for me to enjoy the holiday, get to wear an awesome hat, and continue to cook up hot pics for all my friends. I'll simply put my KRZR phone on the end of a long wooden spoon and take pics of my friends for their profiles.

I'd love to see what you guys all go out as! Post me some pics below so I can see your killer costumes!

As always, The Sheff Approves!!

Every time a big holiday comes around, The Sheff gets excited. Halloween is no exception. Come this October 31st, there are going to be hundreds of thousands of pictures taken of costumed folks, and a great number of those are going to end up as profile pics. This is generally a good thing and if done properly can really help your friend count.

If you are a girl and your costume is a sexy anything, use it as your profile pic. Sexy things are popular every year and will guarantee you friend requests. I mean, who wouldn't want to be friends with a Sexy Social Worker?

If your costume involves a pop culture reference, put it up as your profile pic. Doing something topical, like maybe dressing up as the one and only Professional MySpace photographer Sheffield Quigley, shows people that you are hip and up to date with the world's happenings. People want their Top 8 to look impressive, and nothing is more impressive than a knowledge of current events.

There are some pitfalls to watch out for. If your costume involves a massive distortion to your otherwise hot looks, do not post it as your profile pic. As cool as that witch's nose looked Halloween night, new friends will not put your faux eagle beak in their top 8.

Also, if your costume is based on an inside joke, that nobody else will get, don't even bother posting it. MySpace is for making friends with strangers. Your old friends are already your friends, and if you're not currently in their top 8, they're not really your friends.

That being said, I need everyone's help. The Sheff is currently without a costume idea. I usually have this sort of thing settled mid-March, but work has been straight up bananas this year and I haven't had time to update my own profile pics, let alone plan a costume.

Any ideas for the Sheff? Let me hear them below.

As always, The Sheff Approves!!

A large part of being a big time pro MySpace photographer is getting the job done no matter what the circumstances. You can never blame the model for the pic not being hot. You can only blame yourself. There are enough tricks of the trade (mirror shots, sex-from-above arm's length, lens flares, giant sunglasses) to make anybody look like the next Nicole Richie. The real skill is knowing how and when to use them.

There are cases however, when you try every trick in the book, and there is still no chance of your model being top 8'd. In cases like these I've recently been turning to music. When someone puts on their favorite song, they change. Their body changes. Their energy changes. They become something different, and my KRZR phone can capture that.

Usually that, in conjunction with a battle axe and a live giraffe, will get the pic to where it needs to be, and will get the model immediate approval on all pending friend requests. Set up your camera and snap a pic of yourself jamming out to your favorite tune. Post it below and let me know what song your killing it to.

Recently I've been playing a lot of Wham! Those guys knew how to make hits.

As always, The Sheff Approves!!

The Sheff's birthday is next week. Birthdays always make me reflect on what I've done in the past year. I'd have to say I'm pretty happy to look back on the last 12 months. I've worked really hard with Kevin to keep all my friend's profiles super hot. I've made a ton of friends, and personally been Top 8's more times than I can count. The guys at Black20 were so kind to me they made a shirt with my face and mantra on it! You can check it out here.

Basically it's been a super fantastic year for the Sheff. MySpace has given me a home to meet tons of great people, an outlet for my creativity, and a place to spread the word about my work.

I hope Kevin hasn't planned anything stupid for my birthday. I'm not one to make a big fuss about myself getting a year older. Just give me a slice of marble cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and I'm a happy Sheff.

Birthdays used to be so important when I was younger. My parents used to take my friends and I to The Ground Round. We did it just about every year. I think it was because if you went on Tuesday, kids paid by the pound. I remember my birthday falling on Tuesday a lot more than was expected.

What did you all do for your birthdays when you were younger? If you have any hot pics of you as a little one celebrating, post them below.

As always, The Sheff Approves!!

The Sheff would like to put out an offer to all the celebrities out there with bump alerts. If you are preggers, give the Sheff a call and let me get started on your baby's MySpace page. What better way to enter the world than with hundreds of friends and a strong top 8? And as a new parent, wouldn't you like to be able to look your newborn in the eyes and tell him or her that they've been top 8'd?

Just email me an ultrasound and I'll get started. Then once the child is born, I'll come in and do a full service Sheff experience. Giving the exclusive to People or US Weekly is so out of style. Welcome your baby to the world with a meal cooked by The Sheff instead.

The Sheff will capture your newborn in true Sheff style, guaranteed to get your baby a huge number of friend requests and featured in the "Cool New People" box on the front page. Why announce your new family member in the New York Times when you can reach out to an international group of friends?

Get your baby's blog up an running, and let the world know what its like to be a baby. How is the food? Are you sleeping a bunch? What toys do you like?

We live in an age where if these babies don't get their MySpace pages up from day 1, they will be left in the dust, a friendless loser of a baby, and nobody likes a baby that's a loser.

Famous people, do it for your famous babies. Reach out and I'll hook it up. Suri? Shiloh? If you want in I'll make an exception. Maybe not you Suri. Your head of hair is too weird.

What babies do you think I should reach out to first?

As Alwyas, The Sheff Approves!!

Home cookin' is great. The Sheff's sister had a birthday this past weekend and the whole family got together to celebrate, and I tell you what, Mom really hit it out of the park. This meal was killer. Homemade Caesar salad to start. Delicious spinach lasagna to follow. Marble birthday cake with chocolate frosting rounding out the meal.

Just a phenomenal gastronomic experience. Each dish tasted wonderful, yet each shared one quality. They were all cooked with love.

Nothing better than breaking bread with loved ones. The only problem the Sheff has is a tendency to over eat. I always need a 15-20 minute cool down period before dessert. The problem I have is that I eat such good food so irregularly, that when I'm presented with the opportunity to eat something quality I get carried away. How I am supposed to turn my back on homemade lasagna? I'm not a robot.

Do you guys have any dishes that make you think of home or your folks? Let me know. I got sent home with some leftovers so I will probably be home eating all week.

Of home style cookin', The Sheff Approves!!

The Sheff's been thinking about space travel a lot lately. Mainly because Black20 recently received tape conversations from the Shuttle Endeavor and I've been listening to them non-stop. Check the first one out here.

Hearing these trained professionals go about their space business really inspired the Sheff. It also made me a little nervous though. Here we have a group of trained astronauts, floating around space doing all sorts of science, but I'm not sure if anyone on board is going to be capturing it for their myspace pages. What's the point of floating food to each other is it can't become your profile pic? There is no point, that's the point!

I would like to use this platform to offer my services to NASA for all future missions. If the US government wants our countries best and brightest to have a continued interest in space travel, NASA needs to have a sweet ass myspace page with hot hot pics. Who better to capture the extreme hotness of zero gravity than The Sheff?

Couldn't you all just see me up there in that white jumper, snapping away with my KRZR, working on their profiles for them. I would give their pages such great layouts, with aliens and ray guns and pics of Tom Hanks from Apollo 13.

Basically NASA, The Sheff would be doing a national service my keeping the astronauts looking super hot, getting them tons of friends, and inspiring the astronauts of tomorrow. People need to know that is they go through the rigorous training necessary to prepare for space travel, they will have a killer profile pic to show for it.

Let me know. I can push some things around. Kevin can feed my cats.

Of Space Exploration, The Sheff Approves!!