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C G

Last Updated: 9/7/2009

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April 18, 2008 - Friday 1:02 PM

Its A Good Funny Friday! Come On In! ~Relax & Enjoy!~
Current mood:

animated
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Hey Ya'll~

So glad to have you here..I don't know about you all, but I 'm glad this week is officially DONE!! Feels Nice! ~Kool Breeze & A most Beautiful Day here in Texas....Indeed! its been a difficult week. But this helped me Smile....Awww! Hope it does you as well....

ENJOY!!~

FARM BOY!!~

A young boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his
mother asks if he has done his chores.
'Not yet,' said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off so when he feeds the chickens, he kicks a
chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow.
When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry
cereal.
'How come I don't get any eggs and bacon, and why don't I have any milk
in my cereal? he asks.
'Well,' his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any
eggs for a week.
I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either.
I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk.'
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway
across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, 'You gonna
tell him or should I?

Set It Free
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

Success
At age 4, success is..................not peeing in your pants. At age 12, success is..................having friends. At age 20, success is..................having sex. At age 35, success is..................making money. At age 70, success is..................having sex. At age 80, success is..................having friends. At age 90, success is..................not peeing your pants.

Deep Thoughts
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong?

If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!

If FED EX and UPS were to merge, would they call it FED UP?

What hair color do they put on the drivers license of bald men?

Proper Wages
A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him. "You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them."
"All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board."
"Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. "Yeah," the farmer said. "There's a half-wit here. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him chewing tobacco."
"Aha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that half-wit!"
"You're talkin' to him now," said the farmer.

Magic made Easy

A guy goes up to a girl in bar and asks, "You want to play "Magic"?"
She says, "What's that?"
The guy answers, "We go to my house and screw, and then you disappear."

BUY EVERYONE A DRINK
A drunk staggers into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy everyone in the bar a drink and get one for yourself too!" The bartender makes the drinks and everyone raises their glass and yells "CHEERS!" and downs their drinks.

The bartender says "That'll be $37.50."
The drunk says, "I don't have any money!"
This infuriates the bartender who then jumps over the bar and beats the living daylights out of the drunk and throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks into the same bar and says, "I'd like to buy the whole bar a drink, and get one for yourself, too." The bartender figures that maybe he was a little hard on the guy the day before and decides to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.

He makes the drinks and they all say, "Salute!" and down the drinks. The bartender says, "That'll be $42.50."

The drunk replies by putting his thumb to his nose, wiggling his fingers, and making a loud raspberry noise followed by, "I don't have any money!"

This angers the bartender even more than the first time. He jumps over the bar and beats the hell out of the drunk and throws him out into the street onto his face and kicks him a few times for good measure.

The next day the same drunk walks into the same bar, but before he can say anything the bartender says, "Let me guess, you want to buy the whole bar a drink and I should get one for myself, too, right?"

The drunk replies, "No way, you get too violent when you drink!"

IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER?
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."
The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes."
...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."

ok Tha'ts All Folks! Thank You and HAve Yourselves A Good One! Whatever it is, Make it Good! ;)) *MUAH*~Bye Bye!!~

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April 16, 2008 - Wednesday 4:58 PM

Killing It Softly (Remembering VT)
Current mood:

discontent
Category: Life

This is a repost -I wrote after the fact, one year ago after this tragic event..reason being is because somehow, I realized after this took place -I had dreamed this happening before it did and it bothered me for not recognizing it as something I could have done something about then. ACTUALLY, I DID-HOWEVER, IT WASNT' PER SAY-VIRGINIA TECH IN MY DREAM-BUT IT WAS ABOUT A KILLING AND A MAD MAN AT A SCHOOL-IT WAS COMPLETE MAYHEIM AND I JUST REMEMBER KIDS EVERYWHERE...TEACHERS AND PARENTS FRANTICALLY AWAITING OUTSIDE...WHILE HE WAS OUTSIDE DRESSED ALL IN ORANGE WITH SHOTGUNS..IT WAS A CRAZY DREAM TOO! IT ACTUALLY SCARRED THE HELL OUT OF ME...ESPECIALLY, AFTER DREAMING IT-AND THEN, THIS HAPPENING...TALK ABOUT FEELING EMPTY AND HELPLESS!!!~I probably couldn't have, but I need to get this out to share with all anyways. Thanks so much for taking the time for reading it..and I apologize if it's rather long..but, it does make a point...There is no need to comment if you don't want to, that is fine...if you do and want to share something here on the subject matter, feel free to do so..Sure, I didn't lose anyone there personally..but, I lost some faith just a bit that day...which explains this write. Thank You!

PLEASE SAY A PRAYER, TODAY!

Predators are in sheep's clothing all around us. Not everything is always Black & White. You have to see past the scars and you have to see past who they are~at everything and everyone around you.

To live life~is to know the difference~and DO something POSITIVE about it!

And that's all I have to say about that!

FOR THE VICTIMS OF CRIME EVERYWHERE:

Check out this video: Virginia Tech - A Tribute

..

Add to My Profile | More Videos

THANK YOU!

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March 25, 2008 - Tuesday 4:17 PM

~Hey, I’m Good at being a B*tch!! ~
Current mood:

bitchy
Category: Blogging

HI Friends & Readers:

Be Careful!! Tread Lightly-

I AM

Well, I hope everyone had a blessed and Wonderous Easter ! Hopefully, the Bunny of Springtime Fun has left you something good. It was pretty much a quiet one for me and mine. Nothing to speak on really. Other than, my eldest son’s home getting broken into..Yeah, that pretty much sucked. Made me cynical and psst me off about society and the fucktards that are in it, once again...Whomever it was, didn’t get away with much-however, just the thought Of being violated and stole from is enough to make one SCREAM Profanities LOUDLY!!!

I myself, seem to be going thru something though!

BTW...

DO ANY OF YOU LADIES KNOW THESE GUYS?

I’M LOOKING FOR THEM SO I CAN KICK THEIR BUTTS!!!

uh Thanks guys,

very much for nothing!!
*****************

Unfortunately, or Maybe fortunately, IDk

I think I ’m going thru that change of life-

That time of the month has been for two months straight now, with no relief in sight.

Best thing of all so far though,

is that I have yet, to see a period...

which I’m all down for..I know-TMI

TRUST ME!! I know!! (and HELL NO!!) I’m not pregnant either..So don’t Suggest it..That’s impossible- especially, when you aren’t getting any....

So many things go thru my head in a days time,

you know. Sometimes good, Sometimes not so much. Today being one of those days. Actually, this whole life has been one of those days.

Hello Friends, and here’s wishing you love, happiness and butterflies this Spring. The birds are chirping somewheres’ and all is right with the world, if only in my fantasy world.

However,

this is not my "reality" lately.

Now you must be asking yourself by now,

"What is YOUR problem now? What on earth does she have to be "bitchy"about?"

Well, truth be known, probably nothing yet, everything. Everything from the "jerk-off" that raced by me this morning in his out of control Ford Truck trying to run me over to get to the next light, (hey, guy-I hope you got to where’s u was going-I waved when I passed you in the turning lane-haha) to the fact that everything else with me is getting real old. Not that its anyone’s elses fault, might I add by my own-that thing called life that seems to suck-within my own mind today...but, that I have decided that I need to put all this to rest-and move on.

I can’t keep dealing with my own unhappiness-just because its easier. I need to buckle down and get to where I am going without all this extra baggage I keep carrying around.

So I write!!!

I do know that

People-now don’t get me wrong,

I have plenty to be grateful for and, I am!

This is not the issue. I love my family, and I am thankful for all I got, both wholeheartedly, and suggestively. What IS my issue though, is that sometimes,-as with now-

I can’t get past the visions.

The visions in my mind that keep wharping my sense of confidence and strength. I become weak to my enemies; doubt-fear and depression. I battle that demon daily.

Always have. It just what I go thru.

I accept it and I know Its part of who I am. Not such a pretty part -yet, A part none the less-

of which I have to bear.

I know one could argue that its not that bad, sit down and shut-up Cg-quit ur whinning-(as a few has said b4) I know, its not pretty either. Unbecoming of my spirit, my outside phasana....Who cares? This is me on any given moment lately-and as your friend- I share.

Hey-It’s the least I can do..

I share with you my happiness-and in retrospect I share with you my pain. Its called friendship. You take the good with the bad, sometimes.

After all-why else would I have 227 of you sitting there-taking up myspace?

You are there for a reason, as am I for you.

So, I hope you can and will understand my aggravation & frustration today. A joyful rant and rambling of absolutely nothing but, to let it all go-and find a place for it all in the end- leaving it dead & stinking.....Writing about it-as I do-cuz well, that’s what I do-Hey, its like Billy Crystal say’s in that movie-

" Its a process!!"

AFTER ALL-

I AM WOMAN!!~

*****************

...Thanks for listening-

Did u expect anything less?

I figured I’d do like I always do and find things in the situation that will help me see the glass full of wine-

Screw the 1/2 empty-1/2 full B.S...

Hell, finding the humor in it is half the fun right??
Here are some things that brought me around while writing this and made me Smile-
Hope that they can and will do the same for you!

Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So,

To all the world and the effed up ppl in it that make things difficult :

Here’s Your SIGNS!!!

*************************************

I’m sorry but It all:

I know I should have went to church on Easter-

All this could have been avoided!

That’s right Squirrel- AIM HIGH!! Right for the shins!! ~I’m down with that!

YES

I AM a

TODAY -

and your point is???

***********

no really-

WHY YES I AM~

so, in case I end up choking someone soon- You all are my witnessess!!

I didn’t do it-I was on myspace again.

**********

of course, theres’ always this guy

who is always effin up a wet dream for the rest of us...

Thanks alot-dumbass!~

I thought about relaxing and just trying to read a book

that’ was pointless!!

I could only wish!!~

Damn It -

Now,

What did I do with my Prozac????

*************

STORY OF MY LIFE??

LMFAO!!

AWWW~thats better-Oh how-

I soooo wish I could be that kitten right now!!
(don’t ask?-bet u didn’t know I was demented on top of everything else,did u?)

I think Spankings are in order ???

F*ck My Conscience..

After all-

I like Spankings!!~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~That’s all Folks!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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March 11, 2008 - Tuesday 9:00 PM

Damn It!! Hang Up And Drive!!~
Current mood:

annoyed
Category: Travel and Places

I don't mean to "bitch" at any one particular person here-and if I offend you -I apologize ahead of time but, I saw a bumper sticker on the way to Austin, which read:

HANG UP AND DRIVE !

How deliciously appropiate and to the point, don't you think? I think this is one of my most favorite things that I've read in a long time.

It gave me hope as to think that there are other people out there who would actually "drive their car and, get to where it is they are going, without endangering others and theirselves".

I mean how many times have you seen this going on while driving?

Of course, this does not mean it is just women who do this multi-tasking at the wheel - There are those share of men, who do as well-(minus the make up). I hope.

I mean, maybe its me - but after all, usually being on the phone with someone while driving can only lead to something upsetting, some crazy drama, or that they bore us to tears to where we want to fall asleep at the wheel.

Of course, you might as well ride around with this in the car. I mean really, you will see just about as much going on around you, as if you were on it and it makes as about as much sense.

It would serve the same damn purpose......

Maybe, I have missed something here..but, shouldn't we be watching the road and other's around us so that we all get to where it is we are going more safely?    Don't they have earphones and/or other such gadgets that can assist in your must have addiction to talk on the damn phone while driving? if you must -

What if we didn't have cell phones? God forbid. Would we ride around with one of these in the car?

Imagine that!! Having to use the old fashioned rotary dialed phones in our car?   Hell, the ringer alone would run us right into the next lane alone.

It's bad enough we have a hard enough time trying to avoid accidents in a day's time just by having to look out constantly, of the reckless souls who insist on driving drunk, on drugs and/or those who think they are part of the nascar circuit....or the ones who don't use signal lights, ride your behind trying to run you over among many other issues...without having to deal with the cell phone user behind the wheel...........

IDK-but, If that isn't reason enough to make us change our driving habits and behavior, maybe the consideration of not ruining everyone's day, having to clean up their mistake, their mess, and holding up everyones' progress in traffic might be!

We all have places to see and people to do!

so,

STOP IT!

It's tedious and aggravating.

If we would just watch where it is that we are going, we all could get there better and without incident or accident.   People could enjoy driving again, and the world wouldn't be filled with road ut-raged drivers, ready to SNAP on one another!

Trust Me!

It would be very appreciated!

just sayin'!

(See you all, at the road block) .....

love ya'll,

chortegyrl

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March 7, 2008 - Friday 12:18 PM

~F U Friday’ & All that Jazz!!~
Current mood:

amused
Category: MySpace

Hi Everyone!

Somewhere'z again!!

Might as well--have you a sit down~Kick back, Grab you a glass of bubbly~ & ~Enjoy a few moments to laugh it off!!~

I SURE know I did-posting it!!

~ Hol@~~

I hope this Funny Friday finds all, well and peaceful. I have been on the down low lately, so much going on with me -in my loca life-these days, and I haven't been on as much. I apologize for not doing a FF-last week-I did however, send my readers to visit with my Funny Friday Friend-JEFF~ who also, does them...so know that anytime
I miss one-he has my slack..

So~Please!

~Feel free to chk him out and subscribe-
so that you don't miss one week of laughter & fun.

AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON
I HAVE HAD MY DEAR FRIEND
~Sir Monkey~ON THE BRAIN LATELY-
SO I DEDICATE THIS BLOG TO HIM!!~

ENJOY !!~

References are throughout the blog itself-You will soon understand!!~

So Now then, without futher delay-
I bring you Funny Friday

~Chortegyrl'z~way-Enjoy!!!

**************

~Here we go!!~Ok YA'LL~
hope your ready for this-Like I say-
It's a doozy this week!!~

So, its been a rather crazy week as I said-
so to all those who gave me a hard time-thought about giving me a hard time-to those who may have given u- my friends
a hard time- All week I've been wanting to let loose my cat on someone.

Hey,

I told you it was a crazy one didn't I?? LOL~

CLICK HERE FOR FEEDINGTHEDESIRE GRAPHICS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK-
I want to politely share with you a few ways one can tell another to ~
Go get *bent*
-Stepp off-
OR
Go take a flying leap ~
off a short peer-
Maybe, even Go play in traffic somewhere's?
*******************

Hey,
I TOLD YOU IT WAS A ROUGH ONE!!

~JEEZ~

alrighty then-
now that I got that out of the way~
********************

YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!
I FINALLY FEEL LIKE DANCING!!!~

</B>

YES I'M EFFIN' CRAZY!!
~SO ARE YOU though?
AFTER ALL,
WHY ELSE WOULD YOU STILL BE HERE?

~THINK ABOUT IT!!!

I don't know about you all-
but, I have been surrounded by idiots for quite sometime lately and I figured since, we were doing away with idiots this month-
(by voting for another one might I add)

~let me share with you some ot the
TOP 7 IDIOTS,
that I read about today-

Top Idiots Number One Idiot

A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. She was reassured that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

Here's your sign, lady.
Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign,

guys.

Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

*********************

Number Three Idiot:

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this: "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read itanyway.Number Four Idiot of 2006 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........

but you still get a sign........

*********************

Number Five Idiot:

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
****************

Idiot Number Six:

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.....
***************
Idiot Number Seven:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here’s your sign
(this pic doesn't go with the joke-
but, I couldn't resist it)-
Its just to cute and Hilarious!!!

***********************
INTERMISSION

************************

The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
OPPPPPS !!!
NOW you've went and done it.

*************************

TONGUE TWISTERS

If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper, and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker, and a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper, what do you call a Japanese drummer boywhose father has diarrhea?

A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy.

(hey-its just a joke PPL)
LIKE MY DAD ALWAYS USED TO SAY:
~don't take it personal-take it as a group!!~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING!!!!!

~~ WELL-THERE YOU HAVE IT FRIENDS-I HOPE ENJOYED THIS WEEK'S ff- AND THAT IT SOMEHOW MAKES UP FOR THE FEW TIMES I'VE MISSED LATELY-SOMETIMES-IT JUST CAN'T BE HELPED THOUGH!

HEY-LIFE BECKONS Sometimes~
and always gets in the way of Myspazz!!
you know what I mean?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Young- Live~Love~& Laugh!!!

NO REALLY!!
YOU ALL DO!!~

TAKE CARE NOW & KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL-HOPE TO SEE MORE OF YOU TOO! DON'T BE SUCH STRANGERS...

I DO NEED MY FRIENDS YOU KNOW-
I WANT AND MISS YOU ALL !!

~FEEL ME??

*MUAH~CG*

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February 27, 2008 - Wednesday 4:20 PM

U THINK U KNOW BUT U DON"T~U HAVE NO CLUE!!
Current mood:

enlightened
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

Ok, so this is what inspired this blog.

ck it out!

"aye den shyt jus b real like dat i really do like u n u kno dat but u dnt need i b callin u dat shawty shyt he b makin me mad bt i dnt say nutn 2 him cuz den he jus get a attitude n b lyke get out my biz n all dat def shyt bt yea tell em tho wat i said" ...

EXCUSE ME BUT? WTF???

OK-NOW?

That was just an example of some of the things I have read on my son's friends comments left to each other-not his page but, other pages I"ve read. No, I'm not one of those mom's who spy on their kids ok? Really I'm not.

It just so happens that I read it when, maybe either leaving a comment to him or just ck out his page from time to time. and so, when I do read stuff like this...(i guess u could call it reading)

I have to admit..

I have NO DAMN CLUE,

what the heck I am even reading anyways.

I mean really! Come on now ppl!!

Sure, I guess I have to admit the fact that I used to-before I started my own myspace acct..was not hearing it-when my son wanted to have a myspace acct. I remember hearing all sorts of negative things concerning myspace and being on the internet for teens..such as the ever so famous-

"To Catch a Prediator" show-W/ Chris Hansen....

~which ultimately scares the hell out of me btw..and With me having grand-daughters, this has been an issue, in my life, on the real. I just hate the idea of any kid being online (other than for school work or such) if they are under the age of 13-and to be quite honest with you..I find that not old enough either..especially for girls. YES, I know, that may sound "unfair" and abit biased thinking-but, its just how I feel..even though, it is a Double standard. After all, i know only too well of how boys can fall victim , to prediators as well..but, just not as likely.

I do try to keep up with what my son and grandkids do, say and who they are involved with online, as it is important to at least try to establish, an open communication between them and what content they are involved with.

AND

Sure, I have picked up on some of the lingo "dey' b throwin' down" lol- and I have been able to dicpher a few words here and there, trying to make English with it all. Hell, I even text this short abbreviations of sorts myself in my writings.. I'm learning. And Its not easy.

But, it can be done.

Luckily,

~there are sites we can go to that can help with this. I have included a teenage chat/messenger lists for other clueless parents in hopes to help out with the communication gap that we already seem to have with our children.

Hope It Helps!!

HERE ARE SOME OF THE LINKS:

to web pages that can assist U as well.

MySpace Reaching Parents

Cracking The Code

Your Own Decoder Pen for Teen Chats

OH and BTW_ GL!!~

***********************

Mobile phone texting glossary:

Here are some frequently used texting terms or acronyms, words formed from each of the first letters of a phrase. There's a full dictionary of the acronyms typically used in chatrooms here - and some of which parents should be particularly aware of including:

PAW - it means 'parents are watching'!

AFAIK= As far as I know

ATB =All the best

BTW= By the way

CID= Consider it done

CUL8R =Call you later

EZ= Easy

H&K= Hug and kiss

HHIS =Hanging my head in shame

IYSS =If you says so

KOTL =Kiss on the lips

LOL =Laughed out loud / Lots of luck

LTS =Laughing to self

L8R G8R =See you later alligator

LUWAMH =Love you with all my heart

JM2p =Just my two pence worth

OTOH =On the other hand

2MORO= Tomorrow

CU 2MORO= See you tomorrow

ROFL =Rolling on the floor laughing

SHID =Slaps head in disgust

SOHF =Sense of humour failure

THX or TX =Thanks

TTFN =Ta ta for now

TWIMC =To whom it may concern

oxoxoxoxo= Hugs and kisses

WYSIWUG =What you see is what you get

YBS= You'll be sorry

YKWYCD =You know what you could do

YTLKIN2ME = You talking to me?

YYSSW =Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, whatever

Top 15 Terms To Watch For:

AITR = Adult In The Room

P911 = Parent Emergency

PAW = Parents Are Watching

PIR = Parent In Room

POS = Parent Over Shoulder

PLOS = Parents Looking Over shoulder

PRW = Parents Are Watching

MOS = Mom Over Shoulder

MIRL = Meet In Real Life

S2R = Send To Receive (pictures)

LMIRL = (Lets) Meet In Real Life

CD9 = Code 9 - (means parents are around)

E or X = Ecstasy (the drug)

ASL(R P) = Age Sex Location (Race / Picture)

TDTM = Talk Dirty To Me

General Chat Terms Commonly Used:

BF / GF = Boyfriend / Girlfriend BRB = Be Right Back GNOC = Get Naked on Cam (web cam) GTG = Got to Go IDK = I Don't Know LOL = Laugh Out Loud MorF = Male or Female NIFOC = Naked in Front of Computer Noob/ Newbie = Somebody who doesn't know much about somethingNMU = Not much, you? Warez = Pirated Software W/E = Whatever WTF = What the Fu*k?

*************************

If anyone else has any funny stories on this topic with your kids..

Please Share with us!

I'd love to hear about them.

After all,

We (Grown Ups) need to stick together on this,

so that we have some sort of inkling of wtf?

*************************

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February 22, 2008 - Friday 1:51 PM

Funny Friday’z !!
Current mood:

numb
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Good Morning, my Friends.. Funny Friday Time here, at CG'z korner. I do apologize for last week everyone, as that I just was not feeling it..This week is'nt so different either, as I have managed to pull something in my back yesterday-and I can barely move- However, It is Friday- and the show must go on.... I wanted to at least, get something out to my peeps....cuz that's just how I roll..... So, ENJOY!!~ ********************** FUNNY NEWSPAPER HEADLINES Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing.
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.

House passes gas tax onto senate.
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
FUNNY CLASSIFIED ADS Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Stock up and save. Limit: one. Man, honest. Will take anything. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play. Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
haahaa! I can see why too!! ;) ********* Illiterate? Write today for free help. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook, with round bottom for efficient beating.
Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN: A couple of redneck hunters are out inthe woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathingand his eyes are rolled back in his head.The other redneck starts to panic, thenwhips out his cell phone and calls 911.He frantically blurts out to the operator,"O my gawd! Help! My friend just died.He's Dead! What can I do?"The operator, trying to calm him says, "Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's dead."There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"
******************** The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad. The Moods of a Man Hungry.Horny.Sleepy. ***************
Just kidding guys!! You know, I love ya all!!~ ***************** And JUST FOR THE FUNNY HELL OF IT !! DO YOU MIND????? AREN'T i PRETTY??? WHAT?? Just Hanging Around!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope you have enjoyed it! Stop back by anytime...ya'll!! Love ya~ cg~

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February 21, 2008 - Thursday 12:43 AM

What If? Is everyone Crazy or what?
Current mood:

cooky/wacky
Category: Life

People Watching!

People are what makes the world go round other than just the earth rotating on its axis and all that scientific jazz.

I love people. I love to meet them, talk to them and most of all, to watch them~which is among one of my favorite things to do.
In the malls, on the streets, in the grocery store and just for the general purpose of doing nothing else than to sit and entertain myself.

Some people are funny, some are strange,
some are just plain koo-koo.
We have this one guy who lives somewhere's here in my hometown, who goes to the local Wal-mart and walks through the store all day, everyday-talking to himself and is just plain odd. You could probably set your clock to his arrival and his departure. He is there every time I have gone. I bet, whenever it is that he doesn't show up one day for whatever reason, the employees would notice, no doubt.
I am not sure if he is homeless or not, but I know he is a very unusual individual. He smells bad and he acts bonkers but, that in itself intrigues me. It just fascinates me because, I believe people like him, must have a story to tell, that could be the next best selling novel.
I mean, something crazy had to have been going on in that persons life for the ryhme and reason of such peculiarlarity.

I see all kinds like him on the street and I have this crazy idea in my head that if I were to take the time to just talk to them and offer my ear a moment, I would be amazed by what I might be told. If I could get any straight answers or if I could actually understand anything they would even say remains to be seen. Most of the time, they have their own little conversations with themselves and they make absolutely no sense at all, to anyone else but themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~

There is this other lady that goes all around town and bugs people for rides all over town. She can't be too much older than my son, probably in her 30's or so, and she is a total trip. She will walk up to your car window, at the damn stop light, anywhere in town, and try to talk to you. I made the mistake of talking to her one day, and I lived to regret it, let me tell ya. I couldn't get rid of her. She approached me and my grandkids in a Dollar General and she wanted a ride, wherever I was going. She did not care where. She just wanted a ride. I told her I didn't live that far away, as she wanted to orginally go, and she says, it didn't matter, and if I could give her a ride to the end of the street. She was a boneifide nut. No doubt about it!

~~~~~~~~~~~

The other day I had this guy who came up to my car when I was getting out at my friend's apt complex. I get out, he walks toward me, never taking his eyes off of me for a second and then, he begins to speak. He was an older guy, with salt and pepper hair, maybe two or three teeth, and pants way up past his waist. He begins to warn me that the tree across the street, is about to fall (it was in someone's yard behind a fence mind you~the tree was small and like at least, 10 yards away from the street ) and that I may want to get back in my car and get out of dodge cuz, it may fall on my car and kill me when I am not looking.
It was way too weird for words,
to be honest with you and I began to get the hee-bee gee bees. I was literally, scarred out my mind. Not from fear of what he said, but from the way he looked at me. CREEPY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I tell ya, I live in a smaller army town, and its not that great or big, but its not a far cry from what must be running loose in places like Chicago, New York or California as far as looney tunes and fruit loops wandering about with no destination or focus of reality going on in their heads. You know the kind that you see on the side of the streets, building homes out of cardboard boxes and push carts from the local grocer. There are all kinds in this place because of the transit factor of being an army town.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was homeless for a very short period of my life once. It was only for about a month but, I am so thankful I was able to be blessed and freed of the chains of poverty and empty dreams.

That to me, is what it is all about and boils down to though, when it comes to these type of souls. They have given up on life, themselves and the world has given up on them as well.

We as a whole don't want to be bothered, burdened or annoyed by their prescence and we pretend that they don't exist.
We turn our head and pretend that we don't see them.
We turn our back and try to run from them.
After all, what if one of them were a serial killer, molester or pedophile?

Then again, What if one of them were the next Einstien, Picasso, or MAYBE even GOD himself, just walking around in disquise?

What if ?

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February 19, 2008 - Tuesday 3:31 PM

Filler’ Up?
Current mood:

annoyed
Category: Automotive

Do you remember hearing it? Or, has it been that long ago? I don't know about you, but I do know that I miss hearing those two golden words..Filler up?

I was on the way to take care of some things this morning, when I realized I needed some gas in the car. So, being that it was cold and all, I wasn't looking forward to getting out and putting in gas. Thus, what has inspired this short and to the point blog. I ask you, my friends........... WHATEVER HAPPEN TO THE FULL SERVICE GAS STATIONS?

Now, I don't know about you, but I personally think that If I am going to have to pay some ungodly amount of money for gas, then, I should be able to get the full service treatment, like back in the golden days. I know, I'm too old skool. Whatever! Hey, A girl can dream, can't she?

Now most of my readers are old enough to remember full service gas stations, or at least, remember them enough that your parents may have used them back in the day. However, for the ones who may not know what the heck I am talking about-let me clue you in real briefly. You see, it used to be that you could drive up to the gas station, and You would be greeted by an attendant. Usually, the attendant was alert, clean, smiling face with that all around good guy personna, who would offer you to "filler up". Eagerly awaiting to appease the customer.

Along with this full service pumping action going on-You may also recieve, (if you were lucky) a full realm of things done to your car while you wait and it is being filled with gas. They may check your tires, your fluids, such as, brake fluid, anti-freeze and oil. And/or they would really be nice and wash your windows, so that once you got back on the road you were set to go. No worries!

Awww, those were the days! Now, your just lucky you can get the attendant inside the little booth at the pump, to get off their duff and cell phone to take care of your needs. I tell you..its a shame. Once upon a time, you'd pay $1.50 for gas and get boo-coo services. Now, you pay $3.00 or more to get no service. WTF? Go figure? Right? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HERE ARE JUST A FEW FUN FACTS AND PICS FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE! ENJOY !! *********************

~HAVE A NICE DAY!!! ~;) Ya'll Come back now, Ya' Hear? !!~ ************* cg ;)

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February 17, 2008 - Sunday 1:49 AM

Photobucket TAG~AND THIS IS My Final Answers!!~
Current mood:

accomplished
Category: MySpace

For all My New Friends~and Whomever, chooses to Ck it out!

I have been tagged twice again-from PAM and Posh Chic'~(My Chica'z) and I have to say I have met several new friends so, in that case I will share with you all of these good fun tidbits of myself-with a few twists of my own...

If You know me at all, then you know that I always do the "rebel" thing when it comes to rules and lists)

I hate conforming to the ordinary cuz, I can and cuz,

I'm UNIQUE!!

So, Hopefully-

~I will answer any questions, ponderment or doubts that you may have had...

AND NOW, YOU WILL KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY~

Told the Chortegyrl'z Way!

~Here are the rules and my Unique kind of attempt to join in the fun!

Oh yay! (NOT)

1) Answer the questions below.2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket.com3) Take a picture from the first page of results and copy the html code.4) You cannot copy the person's answers who posted this before you!

*************

~I hope you have enjoyed the Show~and JUST so you all know- CG~has also, joined in retirement of the blog tags-

~This is officially my LAST TAG!Any future Tags-will be forwarded to this blog-

Thank YOU!

LMAO~~

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!!~

love ya'll~

*MUAH*~

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February 8, 2008 - Friday 12:06 PM

Welcome to the Machine II
Current mood:

amused
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

An oldie but, goodie!! DO YOU EVER JUST GET FED UP WITH MACHINES? ANSWERING MACHINES, VOICEMAIL, E-MAILS AND PHONE CALLS FROM PEOPLE YOU JUST COULD DO WITHOUT? SO DO I. I WROTE A BLOG ABOUT IT, WANNA HEAR IT?
HERE IT GOES:

------------------------------------------

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test. After this test you may resume, to whatever you were doing before this test. --------------------------------------------

You know what I hate about answering machine messages ? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me..and furthermore, I'd like to share a story with you about...BEEEP......

Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange... mother... vacation... apple... I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible..Leave your payment info with the receptionist be4 you hang up.

What we've got here is... Failure to communicate. Some ppl you just can't reach. You can leave a message at the tone, but it won't do you any good. No one is listening or cares.

Hi! The answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these alphabet magnets spelling your name and number. Please spell correctly and slow so we can return your call.

I'm sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can't take messages either. In fact, it can't even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message. Actually, we are out of order, your out of order- We're all out of order...So, don't bother leaving a message..We won't get it, anyways...

Hi, you've reached my answering service. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional...No other numbers work on this phone. So, Hang up now.

Sorry, We aren't here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.
This is not an answering machine--this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you... When hell freezes over.

You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you for calling 911. All of our operators are currently busy. Please stay on the line, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. (Nothing else matters-Metallica playing in the background) Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. Or, if your little emergency isn't too serious, Please leave a message at the tone, and one of our crisis operators will call you back, later... Have a nice day!

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer

ENOUGH SAID!!

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

Stoned, slow voice: Hey brother, you have reached the Narcotics Information Hotline. None of us can answer the phone right now, 'cause we're trying to decide if it exists. Please Leave a message and we will get back with after we come down off our high.

Hello, We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever is left standing will get back with you..

Rod Serling imitation: You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone answering device...
You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".

What was I doing? oh right! ummm.....I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. So, whomever you are it don't matter. I don't remember you anyways..but, I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks....
I threw these in the mix just for the hell of it.
ENJOY!!!!
Have a GOOD Day!

cg~

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February 4, 2008 - Monday 12:23 PM

AFTERSHOW FINAL ENTRY: When I was a Little KID.......
Current mood:

annoyed
Category: Life

Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!

THIS IS MY ENTRY TO THE AFTERSHOW OF THE BLOGCARNIVAL. I WAS A WINNER IN THE SEMI FINALS. Finalist were to blog on the topic "When I was a little kid.." as a prompt. THIS IS NOW THE FINAL COMPETION FOR THE BIG CAT BLOGGER OF THE HILL.

~YOUR READ, COMMENTS and/or MENTIONS, of how much u may have liked my blog and why it should win, could help me out..(THIS IS NOT FOR VOTES) Just any kind of honorable mention,will do. So,Feel free to share with the Madame & Judges of ur thoughts. ~ ALL SHOUT OUTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED AND WELCOMED!   I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY THE READ!

                                                       THANK YOU, CG~

*******

When I was a little kid.....

I kinda had this problem .......

....... I always thought I was a little blonde white girl. Yes, It's True! Unfortunately, this sad fact indeed had caused me to view the world and the people in it, as prejudice and cruel while growing up into adulthood.

Now, this isn't going to be easy to write about, mainly, because I may be stepping on some toes here and, I will be dealing with some sensitive issues, that may cause some of you, to question your friendship with me. So be it! If you are my true friend then, you will still love me and accept me for what, and who I am. If not, and you take offense to this write..then, Sa la vi~So long, its been real and its been fun..too bad it hasn't been real fun. I'm gonna miss ya dumb ass!

Ok, so~as most of you may or may not know, I am adopted. I was adopted as a baby, by an American Soldier and his German wife.

Now, you may say to yourself, So what? What's so damn special about that? People get adopted all the time. And you would be right in thinking that so, why would I take issue with this, much less write about it? Well, you see my dear friends, first off~

I was born in Panama City, Panama; the country in Central America. [I only note this because, some folks have no idea where the heck it is]. I have dark tanned coco-like brown skin, and I have naturally curly ass hair that will get "nappier" than a matted mop out of water...in a whole hot minute, once the water hits that shit, It SUX!!

(thus, the reason of thinking I was a blonde white girl...as a child.)

Damn good thing for hair straightners!

~just sayin-

Ok-So, Anyways-You see, with being adopted by a prodominately white couple who were both, prejudice and racist...it is beyond me what they wanted with a little brown baby girl to call their own, only to grow up in a very confusing environment full of questions, judgemental glares, and ugly comments, directed towards me constantly. (Don't get me wrong, I thank them and I am very grateful they did so yet, I still can't help but wonder what were they thinking?)

Maybe, they didn't know of the hardships it would be like for me growing up. Maybe, they hadn't realized the 'poking fun and the pointing' that I would endure for a lifetime that had began for me, ever since I could walk, talk and socialize with other kids on the playground at school.

Maybe, they had no idea at all, of the little white boys of whom I had took a liking to, that wouldn't give me the time of day. In part   because of what their parents would say if they were caught talking or playing with me. It was forbidden for some.

Maybe, they were just plain color blind. I don't know. However, what I do know is this. It has always been a difficult problem for me to fit in ANYWHERE! And it Sucked.

I only spoke English, growing up, and I was raised knowing absolutely NO Spanish what so ever (my native tongue). What little of it that I do know now- I have only learned on the streets while homeless, as a young girl. (that's a whole other blog in itself) Another time.

~I resembled NO ONE ELSE from my school or neighborhood, except for this one other Puerto Rican family, who lived a few streets away from me.  *they were all light skinned hispanics-practically white P.R.z* ~Oh, yeah OK! - there was this one black girl who went to my public school, poor girl, she probably got it ten times worse than me..don't know what I'm sayin'! However, she and I were about it, for diversity in K-Town, Texas back in the 1970's.

Children and Adults alike, couldn't see or get past my skin color. Pity. Shame on them.

Forever, and up to even the present time, in the year 2008-I am still confronted with the same age old questions of which I have heard over and over again for my 45 years in this world like ..."WHAT ARE YOU? and ARE YOU MIXED?" What do you mean you don't speak Spanish?" ....yada, yada, yada"....... I mean really. What the hell do you mean What am I? Am I mixed? Mixed With what? How? and What the Fuk does it matter anyways, what I am or I am not? Does it make any damn difference? Does it matter not, of me being me, and me being human? A woman? A taxpayer? Another social security number in the work force? Do I not bleed the same as those who question such nonsense to me? I'm sorry but, I just don't get it.

Why would anyone look upon another and say or judge someone else just because they are different? uh...hello?? They do daily, sorry to shock you. There is no rhyme nor reason, for many things, I'm afraid. LIFE GOES ON!

I still ask myself though, of Why do people, even today in the NEW WORLD and the NEW AGE, really even care about what a person is ethnically? A constant form of ethnic cleansing goes on and on. It continues as will most things in life. We deal. We live. We move on.

Sure, Its one thing to strike up a conversation with someone in general and the subject just be brought up of " Hello, how are you? Where you from?" and its quite another for someone to be condescending and rude by saying, "Say girl- "What you mixed with? And why are your parents white and your black?" or "How come you don't speak Spanish? You're from Panama, ain't You?" You just wouldn't believe the crap I have been asked? I mean just plain dumb ass crap, people. I have heard it all. It doesn't let up either. I still get it from so many people throughout my travels..even here on my space..I have gotten the bizness...

CRAZY I KNOW!!!

I remember once, going into the old TG&Y store (kinda like a K-mart of sorts) way back when I was with my mother and I was about maybe, nine years old at most.  There, were these store clerks watching over me like a hawk ready to pounce on me and accuse me of stealing something, just cause the thought they could. They found out differently though.

Let's just say, It wasn't good for them, Mama wasn't having it. It was the one time she actually stood up for me..WOW! BIG Shocker there?- but hey, that's another whole chapter, as well_(I'm writing a book one day.   No really I am.

There were also, the times my adoptive mother's German friends would come over to visit. They would all sit around and b/s, talking in a language, that I barely understood, or they'd talk in their broken English...(both) 'pointing and staring, laughing, cackiling' like a bunch of old hens at me as a child, -I hated it. I hated them- only to hear about how dark I was while Pondering to myself, why were things always this way for me? Why were people so cruel? Thinking as a small kid of "Why would she adopt me", out of all the parentless white children there had to have been in the world then, and decide on me? (I was blessed that's why, and didn't even know back then)

I mean really...

Didn't they know how that could fuk with a child's pshyce, her self-esteem and her true identity of who she was and, where she belonged? Couldn't they see past the color of my skin and just accept me for me? I guess not! I guess that would be just asking alittle too much of someone who is ignorant of such things.

So, as I come to a close of my little problem as a kid...let me say this lastly....

Before you open your mouth and somehow, think asking another person the why's, what's and how's of their own personal affairs of the heart...assuming that its no big deal to them- throwing caution to the wind and screwing with their feelings to it all, know that We may become numb to it only because, NOTHING lasts forever. Not even the PAIN! (especially, as a child).

~THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!

We are all who and what we are in this world. Nothing more. Nothing less. You are not better, you are not best. Nothing of the outside of a person should even matter. Its what's on the inside of a person that counts. Having a good heart with good intentions, true guts and glory, are all that should be added to one's attributes.

NOT by their skin color.

I learned some lessons as a child, of which I am Thankful. I carry them with me daily.   I'd like to share them with you now.

Thank You, for listening!~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diversity is Alive!

It Strives!

It Thrives!

BE REAL!

Be Unique! ~

Be You!

and nobody else........

Always~first and foremost-

Until we meet again!~

To be UNITED......

YOU MUST STAY GROUNDED.

LEARN TO BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN. ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE AND YOU WILL FIND PEACE WITHIN YOUR HEART.

love ya'll

cg~

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February 1, 2008 - Friday 6:06 AM

SUPER BOWL FOOTBALL FOLLIES!! (Come Get U Sum)
Current mood:

stoked
Category: Sports

Ok PEOPLE SO SINCE ITS GOING TO BE SUPER BOWL SUNDAY THIS WEEKEND, I AM GOING TO LEAN TOWARDS THE FUNNY SPORTS SIDE A BIT FOR THIS FRIDAY..I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT, AND MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN.. There's the Patriots

..and the Giants

.*CLEARING THROAT* ~.
(which to me, doesn't matter, cuz uh-the

aren't playing)
:(( [which sux]
but if I had to pick one- sry I'm going with the NY Giants!!~

I've had about all the Patriots I can stand..sry-that's just how I see it) besides, I got a bet, with a friend on it..so they'd damn well better win..HA!~NOW ON TO THE FUNNIES!!~

Shall we begin???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FOOTBALL LINGO

A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing."
She thinks to herself, "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies "Touchdown, tie score."
Now he thinks, "I'm gonna fix her." He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replied, "Half time, switch sides."
*****************

THE FOOTBALL EXAM

Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________."
Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"
Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."
"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Reaching to tap Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"
"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."
*****************

FOOTBALL IN RELATION TO SEX

Coin Toss = Asking them out
Kickoff = Holding hands
1st Down = Kissing
2nd Down = Up the shirt
3rd Down = Down south
4th Down = Oral action
Touchdown = Shaggin'
Victory Dance = Smoking afterwards
Time Out = The guy needs more time/can't get it up
Incompletion = Guy can't get off
Interception = Someone walks in on the two of you
Offsides = Gay person/Gay action
Flag on the play = Unwanted Advances
Delay of game = Girl has her period
Hail Mary = Not sure the other one wants it, but you go for it anyway
Hike = Up the rear
Reverse = 69
Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky
2pt. c.. Multiple orgasms
Prevent Defense = Condom/protection
Face Mask = Guy pulls girl head down to blow him
Shotgun = Touchdown in a car
Two minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blows his load
Holding = Cuddling
Superbowl = Wedding or Prom night
Huddle = Multiple participants
Madden '99 = Cybersex
Instant replay = When you tape the two of you having sex
Illegal use of the hands = Masturbation
Ball Hog = Slut
Onside Kick = Making up after a fight
Double Header = Two mates in the same night
Tight End = Virgin
Wide Receiver = Girl that's loose
False Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)
Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get some
Fumble = Cheating (problem in the relationship)
Putting it through the uprights = Self explanatory
Special Teams = Prostitute/Gigolo
Unsportsmanlike C.. Bragging to your friends about your activities
Double Coverage = Two condoms
Handoff = Handjob
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JUST FOR LAUGHS!!

*************

Why men really love golf so much?

Oh yeah, Right there!
PERFECT!~

A good swift kick in the boo boo,
always helps put things in prospective

This just isn't right, on so many levels?

this pic is all kind of wrong...just sayin'!

HOW THE LONGHORNS BEGAN?

Hope you GOT A SNICKER's buddy?
this may take awhile..

WIN,LOSE, or DRAW
It's how you play the game? ;)
(fukkin A)

AND so,
I LEAVE WITH THESE VIDs TO GET U HYPED FOR THE SUPERBOWL!

ENJOY AND KICK BUTT!!~

btw...did I mentioned how much
I JUST LOVE FOOTBALL AND A HOT ASS MAN IN UNIFORM...
JUST SAYIN! sizzlin"zzz

(WARNING!!) this vids song is explictly raw.

NFL GREATEST MOMENTS
(chk out the bad ass plays)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THATS ALL FOLKS!!

~and even if your not into football~I hope you enjoyed it, anyways~

love ya'll~
cg~

OH AND I FORGOT ONE!!

SUPER BOWL TICKET:

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," he says, "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1987."

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

BWAAAHAAAHAA! LMFAO~ I LOVED THAT ONE~

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January 30, 2008 - Wednesday 5:55 PM

LIFE!! (let’s try this again-SHALLWE? (I’m no quitter)
Current mood:

blah
Category: Life

Life~

Sometimes, its better than the alternative.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So~

***************************

I'm afraid, there really isn't a whole lot to say lately, which probably explains my lack thereof, to write and my mood. The world, and the people in it are still within reach of a small dose of reality mixed with fiction. Britney is still a lost poor soul. As far as I know, Osama is still missing, and we are still at war. We somehow, still feel like we are one french fry short of a damn happy meal. Not much has changed in our world, lately, except for maybe the weather.
I have been feeling rather blah, as well. I'm not sure how many of you know this or not, but I have taken on a small family since Christmas and, we have been pushing the envelope open for quite sometime, now. The crunch of trying to feed a family of five and a newborn on less than $1500 a month has proven not to be so impossible. I have been homless before, TRUST ME! It is doable! Luckily, I know how to be thrifty..
Although, Money is tight all over, we seem to be getting paid less and, nothing is a give me in this cruel wide world. You have to fight tooth and nail every step of the way to keep your head above ground, it seems. We do alright though, considering. Considering what, I'm not sure..but, I do consider all of my other options daily, and grateful I have that much to look forward to each day..because considering what I see alot of folks dealing with on a daily basis, somehow helps me to get by with little more than a hope and a prayer..I never knew I was such the one to see the glass half full, when its always half empty...in spite of my view.
I mean, really-
Face it,
we could be living la vida loca such as this poor soul, right?

I really do try to keep my head up though, always trying to find the good in shit. Never letting things, people, situations and drama get in the way of my living. It's not easy though. Sometimes, it takes all I got to keep from losing my mind, my total sanity, (although, I'm not sure I even had it to begin with) and I try to press forward and accept the fact that at least, I'm not stressing this dilehma in my daily concerns.

(ah, my eyes)

sry-next time I'll try and warn a mo'fo'!

You know though,
I could take up another job to help make ends meet.

(damn, why didn't I think of that before?)

As life would have it though, I just live by the old addage of which, I learned from my days at the AA meetings I used to attend. Something about "accepting what I cannot change, changing what I don't want to accept and, drinking more to the rest."

EXCUSE ME BUT, ???

Ok, well it didn't quite go like that really, but It worked for me at time...
and so, I leave you with a few lingering thoughts to help you get through your day.
I somehow, hope they help you, as they have helped me to keep grounded
and somehow, keep a smile on my face~

ENJOY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Some of my Stress relievers:

KNOW THAT

(it works wonders) ;)

I Ask for a little help from my friends:

I always say a little prayer each day..

I Always try to keep mindful of what day of the week it is:

(what its Wednesday, That's ok. It's all good! )
I'm always putting in my application for a better position and better pay..

AND I always try to:

SO MY FRIENDS REMEMBER THIS:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAVE A GOOD REST OF THE WEEK~
I'll TRY TO CHK U ALL on FRIDAY!
PEACE!~

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January 25, 2008 - Friday 1:33 PM

Funny Friday
Current mood:

blessed
Category: Games

HI all, Real Quick FYI: I am still in a blogging contest until Sunday for my blog My Hidden HELL Within~(which explains the music, because it is beyond what my norm is of writing. It is DARK and Disturbing, and a part of a side of me, that most of you don't know. It does exist though, and is Real. THANKS goes out to all who has already voted for me, YOU ALL ROCK~but, there are many of you who hasn't yet...For those of you who have read it, and would like to Vote for me, it is in the EMO/ANGRY arena of the BLOGGER"S CARNIVALE and the banner is below..PLease Feel Free to CLICK ON BANNER AND VOTE in the Add Comment Section of the Contest..NO CUTTING IN though, as it will NOT count if you do...any other questions that you may have then,PLEASE BY ALL MEANS MESSAGE ME~I will assist you....THANK YOU!!

~SO NOW For your WEEKLY FOLLIES:

I hope you ENJOY~

*****************

Hard work has a future payoff.

Laziness pays off now.

(PLZ NO HATERS ABOUT WELFARE, ITS JUST A JOKE)

*****************************

Consciousness:

that annoying time between naps.

*********

I don't suffer from insanity

.
I enjoy every minute of it.

****************

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Few women admit their age.

Few men act theirs.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
*******************************************

TEXAS DUMB ASS LAWS

It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.

It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

San Antonio
It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

Texarkana
Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.

Wyoming Crazy Law
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.

It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement.

It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.

Cheyenne
Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.

Nebraska Crazy Law
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.

It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

If a child burps during church,

his parent may be arrested.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things that make go

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

How do you KNOW it's new and improved dog food?

Why do they put locks on the doors of 24-hour stores?

Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?

Why is abreviation such a long word?