This is a message I sent to my BF the other day. I was cleaning the house and very bored as you can see:

     The mop, the cleaner and I are now involved in a short term committed relationship with the kitchen and living room floors. I hope your not jealous. We can still be friends. Besides, they're just going to leave me for the vacum cleaner soon and I think the mop and the broom are having an affair so it will all end up well. But the bathroom has been making passes at me you might have some competition. Lol. Love you.

And then this is what I sent him when I was cleaning again:

So I finally succumbed to the bathroom's suggestive banter. It was heavy work but I touched and rubbed his walls for an hour and a half. I also massaged his shiny parts and completely eliminated all residue from his past relationships. The carpet was feeling very lonely and left out so as a pity to unattractive older aged berber shag the vacum and I worked in tandem to give the carpet one good hummer and a Hoover suck. That carpet's never had such a good lay. Now I'm sitting down to decide on a movie while the washing machine rubs a load out for me. Love you and I'll see you tonight.

As you can see very clearly what effects stress has on a person.

after many many months of working my tail off to get myself situated in school I finally got the school schedule sorted out. And then. . my superviser finds out that there is a small snag. In the long run we'll just say that I am now looking for a position closer to my home and school. The corporate machine as it's been deemed has taken apon itself to just let me fall through the cracks onto the factory floor. Where as I am swept up with the janitorial services and left in the back alley dumpster to fend off the rats for myself. I can still clean the dumpster and organize the used milk cartons by alphabetical brand name. But I can only do that for EXACTLY 20 hours a week. This, mind you, is all a metaphor and not to be misunderstood with what is really happening. I'm just expressing how the situation makes me feel. So, it's time to just throw myself out to the world of college student jobs and see what turns up. Wish me luck.

Recently two of my close friends have started to deal with some conflict in their lives. One on the verge of a new beginning. He's having to let go of things he's grown to love in order to move on. It wasn't suppose to be like that but it seems that it's just how the cookie falls. There's nothing I can do to change it, to fix it, to make it better, life is just gonna have to lead him on this one. That just sucks ass. But, there's no advice I can give him or his situation that would really change what's happening. It might help soften the blow but not stop it.

Then there's my other friend who is just beginning to regain some self esteem and some confidence about his life after being on and off again with a partner who just took advantage of him. I can't tell him to let go of the past, move forward, delete those messages, texts, ignore the calls, etc. Well, I can but it's not up to me now is it? So, here again I find myself staring out from the window of my front door watching a car crash about to happen and there's nothing I can do. I can only hope that he will look before crossing and tuck and roll apon impact.

These things are going to happen. If I fight it and wine and bitch to both of them about the possible bad life choices they could be making I'm only going to be stating negative, un-optimistic views and I will come acrossed as if I'm not being very supportive. So. . .silence.. . I guess is the best answer. Being the gay I am silence doesn't mean no conversation. I throw out the occasional. . "you'll be fine"  or the "Just stop worrying and analyzing so much". .kind of talk. But I feel as though it's gone past where I can actually give my personal friend opinion. You know what I mean. Friends are there to go beyond the basic advice and we are biased in our opinions about what are friends should be doing. Well I've worked hard at keeping my drama to a minimum and I know by throwing out my feelings on it to both of them it just adds more crap to the pile they've got to clean up. So I bite my tongue and hope for the best. Nothing you can do. . .

I wanted to send out a message for those who didn't already know. I got into OSU. I will be attending in the fall starting in the Continueing Education Dept. Which means I have to get into my program in the next year. I'm gonna take two design and drawing classes and then a film photography class which I think will help ease me into school life. Then. . this winter I have to do a take home exam during the break and depending on how I do in that I hope to be accepted into my program. As well as into the College of Arts. My degree would be a Bachelor's of Science and Design. And it would be a Visual Communications degree. Which for those of you who know me well completely understand why I'm choosing to do this instead of just a Fine Art degree in photography. You can't feed yourself on just a pretty picture alone.

Chris and I got back from our vacation in Michigan which was well needed. After my Florida trip with the Columbus Stompers where Chris surprised me, our week long Pride weekend celebration, and our Fourth of July weekend camping with his family on the farm. . .we needed a week away from all of it. Five days four nights with a great beach on Lake Michigan (which I call the American Ocean) drinks, shopping, a bit of the gay of Douglas at Dunes resort, and some HOT underage boaters caught in the rain at a local gay pizza resturant. .the week was great. Even when I thought we were completely lost on our 3 hour kayak trip, (my first one) it was great. So. . .finish up Softball which is great, wait to see if student loans will pay for my school endevour, and just spend as much time and effort as I can with my boyfriend and creating the beginning of my life. As a college student. Lol. That just sounds so weird. Not in a bad way but just weird. Well, keep yourselves safe. . and enjoy the last part of the summer. We're now on the down side of the summer hill. No more holidays save one. enjoy.

Standing with 10 strangers inside of the white canvas tent where the red cross decided to bail when the rain hit we all stood and waited. The rain had come, doused the pride festival for Columbus and I was concerned that this time pride weekend would just become a soggy bust. But then you realize who cares. I looked around and there was the older woman who was on dialysis with her two dogs and she was sticking it out, the straight girl who had lost her boyfriend but she was determined to enjoy herself, the grand lesbian women who danced about in the rain and giggled like school girls, and then just us. The gay men who, after a little while finally let go. I started to remember what it was like when we were kids at an amusement park and we got caught in the rain. We didn't care. I didn't want to spend the rest of the day hiding out in a resturant. So, when the sideways rain slowed, the sun started to pear out and our vigil little gay group started to pear out and see if it was safe again....

THEY SHUT DOWN THE FESTIVAL.

Now, you know the gay community, we turn second hand clothing into first rate designer fashions, run down section 8 housing into million dollar real estate, we can make a cocktail party from toothpicks, lemon, and whiskey, and we can definately keep the pride at our own holiday. There were children running around in the mud, women that started a mudslide and were just woodstocking their way through the front lawn of the stage. People were bathing and swimming in the fountain, (despite the signs advising of a large fountain like port o potty). Beer fights, drunken cheer, friends that I made and people who just laughed. It turned out to be a great day. In fact more so on the night out. The bar goers were definately friendlier. Even though the next day at our infamous BatNrouge brought about another round of wet and wild, we were all ready. Kickball in the rain, mud wrestling, the Morman and his wives were even enjoying themselves. . .after giving birth to a few off spring. Our pride was definately the best one I have been too. Spirits were high and the bond was there. It was a good holiday. Even if the right wing religious groups rain danced all weekend it only lasted about an hour and then it died. Besides, we needed a good shower.

Here we go. ..Going to Tampa with the Columbus Stompers for the annual international competition. Pictures roughly 500 or so gay and lesbians taking over a Marriot Hotel, A country western dance every night starting at 7pm and going till . ..late. Drinking with a hospitality room full of fantastic drinks and great gays. You have to just imagine what this is like. All shapes and sizes of people, straight, gay, transgendered, etc. .etc. .. all coming together to dance, drink, and enjoy.

This will be my third round at this trip and my second actually competing. I wanted to say that you should all wish us luck. 12 great and amazing people who have taken the time from their crazy lives to come together and learn a greatly moving and emotionally gripping dance telling the story of "One Less Dancer". It's amazing and no matter how we place. ..I think we've done it well. Beyond all of the HOOPLAH and all of the SHENANIGANS that will go on and have already started. ..it's Florida and I'm with some great friends. I'm thinking Jimmy Buffet. ..Key West. .. and a warm sunny day all mellowed and cool. Well. .I'll see all of you on the Memorial day flight home. Have a sweet weekend and hopefully soon you will all be hearing from me more now that my schedule is going to be less filled. (except the SOFTBALL SUNDAYS) Go Ford's Fielders!!! Later Taters.