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Last Updated: 7/23/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 26
Sign: Aquarius

City: Butler
State: Pennsylvania
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/10/2006

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007 

Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Music

What's with indie music in commercials? I thought the point of making indie music was to remain independent of The Man. Yet here we are.

Feist & CSS telling us to buy iPods (nano & Touch, respectively)
The Postal Service canoodling with... well, with the Postal Service
Bishop Allen telling me about the new Sony digital camera
Wilco (WILCO!) shilling for Volkswagen
The Flaming Lips selling laptops.

Christ-on-a-bike, WHAT THE FUCK!?

Currently listening:
The Broken String
By Bishop Allen
Release date: 24 July, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007 

Current mood:  working
Category: Quiz/Survey

Since I seem to be on a post-a-thon here I might as well go ahead and finish this thing David tagged me with. Apparently I am to compile a list of 10 interesting things about me. Then I am to "tag" five people so that they might continue this douchebaggery. So here I go I guess.

1. On the surface I may seem well adjusted and nice (what?) but really I'm a misanthropic, atheist asshole. I don't believe in god (God, Allah, Jesus, Krishna, whatever) and don't mind saying as much. As Emily points out I'm an offensive asshole who uses shock value to piss off the theists whenever the opportunity arises. Well, if the Che Guevara shirt fits...

2. I root for the bad guys. Not in real life mind you. I'm a Libertarian Socialist and I vote Democrat. In movies, video games, RPGs, book, etc. on the other hand I'm all about the evil. Alex de Large, Vader, Sylar, Hannibal Lecter, Gangster 55, The Ice Truck Killer, etc. I think it's the absence of inhibitions. The pure, unadulterated emotion. Who the fuck knows. (addendum per David: I also wholeheartedly support Jacen Solo in The Legacy of the Force - fuck Luke Skywalker.)

3. I am a reformed robot. People used to call me a robot because I appeared so completely devoid of emotion. Not in a sociopathic, serial killer sort of way but I was at least very very cold. I don't know what strange drug Emily slipped me whilst I slept but I fell things now. Most of the time I still fuck up when trying express said feelings but, hey, I'm trying right?

4. I've stabbed two people. When I was 16 and tripping balls on acid while working at Burger King I stabbed a customer with a spork because he threatened my friend because he'd "fucked up" his order (in reality I had fucked it up when ringing it up because I was busy chasing the buttons around the screen). The second was a semi-retarded stroke victim who worked at the movie theater with me. We were horsing around and when I threated to cut off his tie he flailed and cut himself on my box cutter. Not exactly a bad-ass story, I know.

5. It's easier to list the drugs I haven't done rather than those I have because it consists of a single entry - crystal meth.

6. As my brother has pointed out in the comments section of a previous post, I am starting to sound and act more and more like a father. Not my father mind but a good father. I never thought it was possible but I can't wait to get home to see my daughters. Even the bratty ass one.

7. Despite my charming blue colloquialisms and generally filthy mouth I usually know what I'm talking about and, given the right, mood can hold my own in an intellectual conversation and/or political debate. The problem is that as the conversation(s) progress I descend further and further into pejoratives and name-calling to "prove" my point thus undoing all the good work I may have done up until that point. The fact that someone as smart as Emily puts up with my dumbfuckery is nothing short of a miracle.

8. I hate Florida. I want to move somewhere colder. I was semi-offered a job in Limerick, Ireland at one point and wouldn't have hesitated to up and leave. My mother-in-law threw a fucking fit about and spent weeks trying to convince Emily and I that we would undoubtedly hate Ireland. She did the same thing when I was offered a traveling sleep techery job through Aureus Medical. She kept telling us that we'd be too far from our "support system" (note: the only person who has even offered to babysit for us since our second daughter was born is my mother. And even when it was just Avalon it was like pulling teeth to get my in-laws to watch her and when they actually did it was so begrudgingly that Emily and I at times just canceled our plans to avoid hearing the guilt trips).

9. I am long winded as the above post shows and yet I can't fucking write. I have several ideas mucking about in my head and yet when I set down to put them to paper... nothing. I feel like my ideas are a river raging around me and I can't make enough sense of them to put them into intelligibility. I'm trying to catch water with a tennis racket.

10. I'm jealous of my little brother in more than one way. He's working on his book with a fervor I can only dream of, he's got a careerical direction (albeit a vague, half-hearted one) and he owns a house (albeit in a shitty town in a shitty county). Don't get me wrong he has his foibles of which I am not envious: he's an asshole, he's the unluckiest fucker I know in the relationship department, he's a ginger and he likes Fortress.

 

So there you have it my little plebeians. Read it and stare wide-eyed at your better. Now the tagging.

1. Emily - I'll probably already know whatever she posts but it might be interesting for the rest of you to read what my concubine has to say.

2. Steve - Steev rite guud stuf, we laff at wurds and maak reeplys. Happy.

3. Jason (AZ) - At one point we were in a (very shitty) band together. He had the talent, I had the drum-kit and microphone - it worked out perfectly.

4. Tyndal - Gilligan to my Skipper, Tyndal was the first of my friends (that I know of) to have kids so I guess he's the Old Salt here.

5. Carlton - D&D nerd? Definitely. Freeloading ass? Without a doubt. Occasionally intelligent despite himself? Indeed.

6. Rob the British redneck - My better half's friend's better half... follow that? He and I differ drastically as far as politics go but agree left and right musically. I'm interested to see his responses here.

Currently reading:
Neuromancer
By William Gibson
Release date: 15 August, 1986
Monday, November 26, 2007 

Current mood:  working
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
I just watched Mother Night.

I absolutely loved the book and as such was worried the movie would be a let down. After all, how the hell do you adapt Vonnegut? You can't very well adapt it verbatim, Kurt tends to get off on weird tangents that would more than likely turn off the casual viewer or, at very least, completely confuse them.

It worked though. They managed to cover all the bases that needed to be covered and without it felling rushed. They avoided the tangents but kept in the better lines. My personal favorite, the Black Fuhrer of Harlem's line about the Japanese dropping a hydrogen bomb on China, was kept in which made me happy.

The casting was also a nice surprise. All I knew was Nolte (whom I am not a graet fan of) but Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Frankie Faison and even Kirsten Dunst managed to play their respective parts exactly as I had envisioned them myself. I always pictured Frank Wirtanen as a skinner man but I like John Goodman so I'll let that go.

I highly recommend it whether or not you've read the book (or any Vonnegut for that matter.. but you really should you know).

All-in-all it was a respectible adaptation and I can only hope Cat's Cradle (if they ever get the damn thing off the ground) ends up as good.

I'm afraid of Breakfast of Champions, however, because Kurt Vonnegut once said that he found it "painful to watch." I am anticipating Slaughterhouse-Five quite a bit more because Kurt said of it "...I drool and cackle every time I watch that film, because it is so harmonious with what I felt when I wrote the book." Let's hope it lives up to that glowing review.
Currently listening:
Civilians
By Joe Henry
Release date: 11 September, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007 

Current mood:  working
Category: Music
I just found out that Porter Wagoner died... a fucking month ago. That's how much it was covered. I regularly read CNN, BBC & WikiNews and never heard a fucking peep. He died (fittingly) in Nashville at age 80. I'll forgive you if you don't know who he is but if you even vaguely like country music do yourself a favor and buy Wagonmaster.
Currently listening:
Jerusalem
By Steve Earle
Release date: 24 September, 2002
Monday, November 26, 2007 

Current mood:  working
Category: Web, HTML, Tech
So, first of all, I finally got my new iPod. It's actually the reason you've not heard from me. I've been too busy fiddling with it to bother writing out my disjointed thoughts for you my dear audience of <5.

It's a black 160GB classic whom I named Kilgore (as in Kilgore Trout). I've run through a great deal of dorky-ass references over the years because I've owned some many damned iPods - Muad'Dib, Kwisatz Haderach, Festizio!, Vader, 2716057... I'm sure there were more. I wanted to figure out a Brazil reference but somehow Sam Lowry, Archibald Tuttle & Jack Lint didn't sound like iPod names.

Anyways, it's fucking great. I originally upgraded solely for the storage increase but the new interface makes it all the sweeter. Plus the Belkin clear acrylic case I bought with it is much better than the XtremeMac version I had with my 80GB video. All-in-all a good reason to sell my Xbox.

Now if only I could buy a Wii... or a better computer that could run all the RPGs I'm going to miss dearly now (Oblivion, Mass Effect, The Force Unleashed, Fable 2, BioWare's rumored Star Wars KOTOR-era MMO)... sigh.
Currently listening:
Wagonmaster
By Porter Wagoner
Release date: 05 June, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007 

Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Life

What happens when you realize you're not as cool as you thought, not the hipster douchebag you always make fun of yourself for being? Does it depress you or does it free you from Classification? Do you strive to establish yourself firmly within the Box you had thought yourself already in or do you embrace your new identity?

Who gives a flying fuck?

I'm not a hipster. You hear me?

I've spent years refering to myself as such either in meta-jesting or internally but it's a lie. I'm not a hipster. I've seen the tattooed, quaffed hipster shitbags loitering around downtown and I realize I am not of their world. Nor will I ever be.

It's not a depressing revelation, it's actually kind of liberating knowing I don't fit in with those people. I still love independent record shops, thrift stores and vinyl but I don't dress that part, play the role or even give a fuck.

I still plan on getting a few tattooes but I'm not going to spend years planning my sleeve(s) so that one day someone will ask what they're looking at and I can get all holier-than-thou about it - "You don't know!?"

I still consider myself ahead of the plebians in the departments of music and movies. I am quite proud of my expasive knowledge in both departments and will go toe-to-toe with any eyeliner wearing asshole Scenester or any thrift store Gestapo Hipster any day.

My life revolves around Emily, Avalon and Zofia and I couldn't be happier.

Emily and I had our "Date Day" today and while it was nice being able to take our time in the stores, hear ourselves think and have a full conversation, it was even better getting home and seeing that little face light up at the sight of Mama.

There is a Douglas Adams quote I've used before: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

Rather fitting, I'd say.

I can't write anything. I can't decide what I want to do for a living; I get easily depressed concerning the state of the world; but I look at those little monsters and I can't help but figure I've done something right.

Currently listening:
Never Forget: A Journey of Revelations
By Cornel West & BMWMB
Release date: 21 August, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007 

Current mood:  working
Currently reading:
Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame and Degradation in the ’80’s
By Hunter S. Thompson
Release date: 01 November, 2003
Sunday, September 02, 2007 

Current mood:  thankful
Category: Life

It took a little while for "fatherhood" to hit me. I understood that this person relied on me for everything: food, shelter, clothing, toys, ass-wiping but it didn't hit me full force (like a tube sock full of quarters to the midsection) until this.

Avalon had a seizure (theorectically
ferbrile) on Thursday night. She was perfectly healthy one minute and the next minute my entire fucking existence slowed down and turned itself inside-out. I didn't know anything. All of my pseudo-intellectual bravado was out the fucking window. The douchebag teenager that thought he knew everything and could handle it "no prob" was forever and unequivocally killed off.

We of course panicked and of course called the paramedics (who were quick to respond thank fucking christ). They did their dog-and-pony show and whisked us off to Morton Plant at a gut-wrenchingly slow speed. I've always had these images of Nic Cage and Tom Sizemore speeding arounf NYC in my head as paramedic-typical but these assholes went - I shit you not - 15mph until they got out of our neighborhood and only then "jacked it up" to 50 or so. I could've fucking killed someone.

We get to Morton Plant and everything gets even more surreal. They run every test possible on my little girl - CT, chest x-ray, spinal tap. I can't fucking breathe properly. I sleep in bursts with my arm over her while she sleeps sedated on the hospital bed. My dreams were filled with ER noises and an ever-present creeping horror worse than anything I've ever expereinced in my entire life.

Finally, they tell us they haven't found anything (a bittersweet thing to hear) and that they're transfering her to All Children's in St. Petersburg. There they basically observed her and a series of damned good pediacticians took turns looking over her various test results and asking Emily and I the same sets of questions: "Has she been sick?" -No "Did she fall?" -No "Is there family history of seizures?" -No "Who wrote the book of love?" -Wilt Chamberlin

In the end they determined, through virtual consensus, that it was ferbrile. Meaning she was either already sick and suddenly became ferverish in the moments beforehand or she was getting sick and the shots she received her wellness check-up earlier in the day set it off. Either way we'll have to be very very very very cautious when approaching any and all illness in the future as children who have these sorts of seizures have a 50/50 chance of having them again. The silver lining is that they're all but guaranteed to out grown them as well. So there's that at least I suppose.

So we're likely to have to endure this again. They've given us a prescription for a gel that we have to administer rectally should she have another seizure but fucking hell am I hoping we never need it.

Unfortunately we've also been informed that this increases the likelihood of Zofia having the same sort of seizures once she's out and about causing trouble.

And I thought fatherhood was scary before, right?

Currently reading:
The Catcher in the Rye
By J.D. Salinger
Release date: 1966
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 

Current mood:  tired
Category: Life

A Canuck tagged me for one of these meme things and since I'm bored to tears right now (I'm at work and my patients are asleep), I figured I'd give it a go.

The instructions:

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog at the bottom of the list:

DaisyBones
sleepless in cologne
Spaghetti Harvest
The Occasional Solipsist
Worth the Lack of Sleep

Here are the questions:

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was in high school and my parents had just gotten divorced so I was being a real shitbag. I dealt heroin, got a DUI in driver's ed class, played Riff Raff and cut class - you know, shenanigans.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Same as right now, really. Preparing for the arrival of my daughter (then: Avalon, now: Zofia), working (then: SomnoMedics, now: Sleepmed) and drinking too much caffeine (then: coffee & soda, now: coffee & energy drinks).

Five Snacks You Enjoy:
BBQ Fritos
Rice pudding
Drake's coffee cakes
Energy Drinks (Monster, Full Throttle, Rockstar)
Coffee

Five Songs That You Know All The Lyrics To:
Tom Waits - Walking Spanish
Bob Dylan - House of the Rising Sun
Cat Stevens (or Elliott Smith) - Trouble
Hank Williams (or Woven Hand) - Alone and Forsaken
The Decemberists - The Mariner's Revenge Song

I went with the first 5 that came up on the iPod that I knew all the words to

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire:
Start trust funds for my kids so they'll still have money after Daddy blows the rest of it
Buy a house in St. Pete's Roser Park
Travel like a motherfucker (Eastern Europe, Ireland, Japan, etc)
Start an atheist protest group called Citizens For A God-Free America
Buy every single Criterion DVD

Five Bad Habits:
Impatient
Can't save money for shit
Procrastination
Constantly restless
Quick to anger

Five Things You Like To Do:
Play with Avalon
"Hang out" with Emily (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
Watch movies
Read
Play videogames

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again:
Plaid pants
Spikes and/or studs
Beanies
A mohawk and/or liberty spikes
Wallet chains

Five favorite toys:
iPod
Xbox 360
Cell phone
Coffeemaker
DVD Handycam

Now, 5 people to tag:
David
Steve

Currently listening:
Brainwashed
By George Harrison
Release date: 19 November, 2002
Thursday, November 30, 2006 

Current mood:  happy
Category: Music

Thank god (HA!) for the internets. If I had missed this I'd have killed somebody. Somebody smaller than me and preferably weaker. Now watch (quickly though, they're YouTube and any minute, Viacock will probably pull them in a..mixture of emo bitchy-ness and retard strength).




Here you go bitches:


Currently listening:
Orphans
By Tom Waits
Release date: 21 November, 2006