I had the gayest dream last night.  And I don't mean retarded gay, I actually mean homosexual.

All I can really remember is that I met Ellen Degeneres and kept reenacting bits of her act to her and she was totally loving it.  She then started reenacting them with me and were like besties.

Then at some point in the dream I was singing Tegan and Sara songs in this weird bar with an old  lady.  I can't remember too much at this point in the dream.  But I remember that part very clearly.

Then I was at a gas station and the guy at the register kept hitting on me, and I couldn't pay for my gas so I just started making out with him.  I told you it was a gay ass dream.

Analyze please.

So here's what happened (speaking of scary)(tm ellen....):

- I just had 6 white russians with some friends and discussed if b-side albums count as actual albums.  I argued yes, because it's not like the songs have been repeated on other "actual albums" so putting them together one disc/tape/record should constitute as a whole album.  Right?

- Halloween was rad.  I was part of a duo of a zombie bride and groom.  Made that shit from scratch.  Fuck party city.

- Going to see Amanda Fucking Palmer on the 20th.  I just figured out this is my fifth time seein her live.  Each time she gets more amazing.  Punk cabaret really IS freedom.  Also I get drunk when I go, so that helps.

- My dog totally just farted.

- I'm teaching Luis to play guitar.  Amazing things will follow.  Anyone play drums?

- I just sneezed four times in a row.... Pancho, am I allergic to you all of a sudden?

- Goodnight.

-Dusty l-e-e

I've been sick the past couple days suddenly and it is not cute.  Also not cute?  That guy that snapped his neck weightlifting.  Nast.

So since I've been sick all goddamned day I've done the following:

- Watched outrageous youtube videos online of teens fighting and getting really into it.  I finally had to take a step back and look at myself being this pathetic.  Still though, some of those fights were  curaaazy...

- I ate some DISGUSTING spinach dip I bought from the grocery store.  It tasted like hampster ass.

- I've listened to old Emmylou Harris albums.  It's been a twangy country kinda day.  I then juxtaposed that with really rare Hole tracks when Courtney was all screamy and twisted.

- Been chugging dayquil here and there.

- Played guitar for way too long and way too loud.  I'm sure my neighbors love me.

- Talked to my lawyer about my court date coming up.  Dustin might be gettin' his license back crackas!  Boop boop, hoop yeah!

anyway, I can't stop coughing, which is totally annoying, and I'm dying for a cigarette but am holding out because I know it'll make the cough worse. blah blah

ok good night youngins
-dustin 

Lady GaGa, hopefully, has a penis.  Actually that's not true.

I was listening to the most beautiful fucking song today.  "A Perfect Sonnet" by Bright Eyes.  His voice is shaking the whole time.  And then at the chorus he screams that lovers should be tied together and thrown into the ocean.  At this part, you keep expecting the whole song to just fall apart.  But it never does.  I just felt something inside of me when I heard it.  It's always a really cool feeling when a song does that to you.

I played hooky from work today.  The weather was amazing.  It's been surprisingly devoid of humidity lately, which is pretty nice when you live in this part of the country during this part of the year.  I went on a walk because being in the fucking house all day after being dumped by my boyfriend was driving me crazy.  Sprinklers kept going off at random.  I fucking hate sprinklers.  Probably one of the most wasteful inventions either. 

I was at the grocery store last night with the roommate last night and mentioned to him that I hated bottled water.  I realized I've been using the word hate a lot, and so many things irritate me and sometimes it feels like the whole fucking world is a bunch of shallow idiots that get excited over the VMAs or Transformers 2 and I don't even know how to cope.  And then I remember that a few people still exist that are pretty rad, and I never see enough of these people because I'm always working behind a goddamn bar and when I'm not I'm too tired to do shit.  And then before I knew it I was mid twenties.  I think I'll always be easily irritated by shit like that and it'll probably never change, but I hope I can somehow be a little less jaded and cynical in the future and just worry about shit I can be passionate about.

Anyway, so I guess the dumb internet buzz about a popstars ambigious gender really got me thinking.  Well, first it had me thinking about most of the comments I've read about it (which, yes, sadly i did read them) were kind of homo/trans phobic.  And also that people are always so consumed with celebrity and hating things and judging and just being fucking negative all the time.  And I do it too and it's so stupid and lame and just uninteresting.  Basically I'm giving myself a goal to just be more productive and open and passionate.  "Cause it's just what you must do, and nobody does it anymore."

I actually think Lady Gaga's schtick would be cool if her music wasn't so crappy.

- The Gossip's new cd "Music for Men".  Their last cd had more of a garage stomp sound, and this one's more of a 80's feel, but it's still pretty rad.  I think I've gotten drunk and then posted myspace bulletins emploring you all to d/l the songs from it.  It kicks ass, ok?

- Lance Reynald's (I probably spelled that wrong) book "Pop Salvation".  I'm in love with this book.  I'm reading it for the second time right now.  It's one of those books that just feels so vivid to me and reminds me a lot of my late teens.  I'm also in love with the author and wish the marry him because I think we're perfect for each other.  I'm apparently a psycho today.

- Apparently Neil Gaiman did a book with Amanda Palmer.  I don't have it, so this is really more of "Things you should get me" segment.  It's like 40 bucks and I'm a broke ninja right now.  It's basically a book full of pictures and Amanda dead with stories by Neil.  It's very art school.

That's actually it.  I thought I had a lot more to recommend, but this hangover is pretty ridiculous.
-Dustin

phillip put all his high heels in his suit case
they don't match his hospital gowns
he broke the news to me over cocaine and lipstick
we wish that you still were around

joni was sleeping as they tattooed my forearm
I hummed as I stared at the wall
we drank vodka and laughed at the children
we watched playing basketball

pat quit her job to cook steaks for transgenders
she says meat's essential for growth
we sat in her house to compare our two stories
raised a glass and said outloud "we're toast"

amber still writes to her mother elana
who died back in 73
she says she knows she should let go
but sometimes the ink sets her free.

Here's what I'm all about at the current moment.....

- Watching old Reno 911 reruns, I've forgotten how fucking funny that show was.

- Girl in a Coma - For the past 4 months these chicks have not left Nicole and mine's cd player.  They're badass, catchy, sexy, latin girls that fucking blow out my speakers.  Dig them, I promise you will.  Look up "Trail", "Clumsy Sky", "Joannie in the City", and my fave "Road to Home".

- The Feast Trilogy.... these movies are gross, scary, funny and all around fucked up.  I suggest you get drunk and/or stoned and watch all 3 of them with some friends.  Especially the baby scene in Feast 2.

- Making homemade guacamole.  Just do it and fuck that store bought shit.

- Nag Champa.  I am not, and repeat NOT, a hippy.  But no other incense can compare to the original.  Dust of the old shrine and give it a chant foo!

- Quorn products.... I think that's how you spell it.  Since going veg a few years back, this company makes some great meat replacement products for when you're really craving some carcass.  I know it's saved my ass from backsliding many times.


I guess that's it.  Feel free to respond with your latest digs.  Also, I'm looking for a used electric piano (with weighted keys, not that keyboard lightweight bull) so if any of you kids know of one for sale (about 400 - 500 bucks) give a cracker a call.  Cool?  Cool.

-Dusty Lee

- I made the following things because I'm amazing:  Rice and beans, peppers and onions cooked in beer and lime,  I added fake chicken because meat is murder yo,  guacamole with extra hot sauce because I'm ghetto, and mango salsa because I'm tropical.  I napped on the couch with Nicole afterwards.

- I gave Nicole a "Amigo Pedro" button I got at South of the Border a few years ago.  I suddenly realized how racist it was and for penance drank a Mexican beer.

- We listened to Incubus constantly because Nicole is a hippy.

- We drank more and more and I forced her to watch Dresden Dolls videos because I am NOT a hippy.

- I watch Nicole text about 4 people trying to get some ass.  None came through.  It was a sad night for her vagina.

- I did something to fuck up my back so I made Nicole rub it.  I kind of wish my roommate wasn't out of town so he could have walked in and been like "what da fuuuuuu...?".


So today and I'm extremely hungover, I need a shave, and my back is unbearable.  I have Nicole trying to find me some pain pills so I don't pass out.   Yay drugs! 

1.  Fat nonsmokers from the north at the restaurant where I work....  Fatty fatty two by four said the other day "I'm from New York, and they made all the bars nonsmoking and we just loved it!"
   a.  this is not new york, this is north carolina.  which is a tobacco state. 
   b.  I don't think that cheese tortollini in a heavy cream sauce with extra cheese is all that good for you either.
   c.  hey, while were at it, lets serve just juice and water at the bars.  you don't wanna have anything unhealthy!
 
 
2.  people that show me pictures of babies who aren't even theirs.   i don't give a fuck about babies unless they are either related to me, or belong to my good friends.  babies leak and are rude, and i rarely think they are cute.  i also don't like people that say "well, when you have a kid you'll understand".  so condescending.  like they're in some special club.  it's not like it takes some special talent to breed.
 
 
3.  straight people giving their opinion about gays having a choice on their sexuality.  sorry, you don't get to put in your two cents on either side, because you're not gay.  i also hate it when straight people say to me "i couldn't tell you were gay when i first met you" or "you're really cool, but the flaming guys are a little much."  do they even realize how offensive that is??  like, as long as i don't act too gay, i'm ok. 
 
 
4.  white people in general.  i feel like since transgender people can indentify with whatever sex they feel like they really are, i should be able to indentify with whatever race i want.  thus, i am "transracial".  and i am no longer white because white people always gotta fuck shit up.  "american idol" is the only example i need to provide.
 
 
so yeah, a lot of other things are pissing me off right now too, but i don't want to come across as a negative person.  i'm gonna go have a drink.
-dustin

Dear Ryan Adams,
 
I love you and your music.  I do not, however, love that you married Mandy Moore.  Do you sit around and fawn over her performance in "A Walk to Remember"?  Do you tell her that yes, "Candy", was a song of a generation?  I understand that you're off of drugs and all that jazz, but I believe there is such a thing as too "squeaky clean".
 
Please end this.
 
Thanks,
-Dustin