David Tennant announced today that after the 4 specials in 2009, he's leaving Doctor Who.

 

A piece of me just died.

You may well think me dramatic, and you may well be right, but still, every bit of this song bleeds out from my being. Please...think of me.

Think of me, think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again, you long
to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been . . .

Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you . . .

-"Think of Me", Phantom of the Opera OBCR.

For everything you ever gave me, and all I'll carry with me...

Well I woke up today
And the world was a restless place
It could have been that way for me

And I wandered around
And I thought of your face
That Christmas looking back at me

I wish today was just like every other day
'Cause today has been the best day
Everything I ever dreamed

And I started to walk
Pretty soon I will run
And I'll come running back to you

'Cause I followed my star
And that's what you are
I've had a merry time with you

I wish today was just like every other day
'Cause today has been the best day
Everything I ever dreamed

So have a good life
Do it for me
Make me so proud
Like you want me to be
Where ever you are
I'm thinking of you oceans apart
I want you to know

Well I woke up today and you're on the other side
But if you can still dream
Close your eyes it will seem
That you can see me now and then

I wish today was just like every other day
'Cause today has been the best day
Everything I ever dreamed

I wish today was just like every other day
'Cause today has been the best day
Everything I ever dreamed

-Murray Gold, "Song for Ten"

This is also for everything you've given me. Love, knowledge, life, laughs....but mostly, I'm blessed for the love.

Better To Have Loved:
Ooh
Better To Have Loved...
Ooh
If the sun went down tomorrow and it never came back
And the city went quiet and we fade to black
Well I won't have a single regret
And I wouldn't trade a thing
Cause I never knew I could feel what I feel inside of me

Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved
You

Better to have Loved:
I knew all the time I was taking a chance
When I stand there on the edge of the cliff and no one was holding my hand
Well the wind blew strong and the clouds rolled in and I, I felt us lift off the ground
Yes I bared my soul and I dared to go knowing one day you might let me down

Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved
You

I gave you everything but to have said goodbye

Better to have loved than never loved at all
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall
Better to have loved you and let you in than never to have touched your skin
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried
Fall into the earth for a trip to the sky
Better to have loved, better to have loved
You

-"Better to Have Loved", Idina Menzel

 

Everything those songs say, and more, I want you to know. I'll treasure everything, every memory....I wouldn't trade it for all the worlds.

Love always,

Jamie

 

 

 

 

I hate being cryptic, but just felt the need to type this

I'm scared of losing people,

I'm scared of relationships changing.

I'm scared of walking away.

I'm scared of being without you.

I'm scared of you being alone.

I don't want to let go.

and I hate even thinking about it...

Quick update:

Spent last week working on a temporary job/assignment at a law office. It was nice and laid back, pretty simple work. Tomorrow, I get another temporary job for Monterey County, doing whatever physical stuff they need done {scanning/filing/shredding etc{. That's supposed to go until June. After that, I'm not sure.

I'm also getting an hour or so three nights a week at the library, plus Saturdays as they may need. Yay! I'm so happy to be back, even if it is practically volunteer work, given the hours I'm working don't amount to much, money wise and I'm not sure how long that'll last, but I don't care. I walk into that place and just the SMELL is home, it's so familiar, I adore it.

Plus they have graphic novels now! SANDMAN!!

Friday was David Tennant's birthday. Happy Birthday love, you bring so many fans such joy, hope your b-day was awesome!

Justin and I's one year anniversary is coming up. I'm so happy with this boy it's silly, but he knows the perfect ways to slip in a compliment, or to let me know I'm needed, or to give me the comfort I need, even over the phone. He's so amazing and so stubburn, geeky, intelligent...*sigh* I love that man. Only David Tennant comes anywhere near. :)

Okay enough. Have a great week my loves.

~James

I haven’t posted in too long, but I mean to better.  Perhaps I’ll start with what’s changed since last I’ve blogged, and what it was.

~I’m still Jamie, the tall, curvy, bookish girl that I always have been.

~I still adore New York City, travel, and  of course, all things Scottish.

~Mom and I had to move out of the house that I’d lived in all my 23 years, because it was a rental and the owners decided it would be worth more to renovate and try and rent to someone else, so we now love in a very nice new apartment with more space  and brand new carpet, though it does have a tendency to attract ants more often. Small price for a fresh start. I have my first new bed ever as well, currently bedded with sheets that remind me of a tropical sunset. We’re still in Salinas, California, just on the other side of town, two blocks from a hospital where Mom works. A hospital that has a Starbucks in it’s lobby. That’s right, the caffiene addict is two blocks from a Starbucks....*guilty/happy face*

~Last month, I walked off my clerical job that I had been at for over two years. It was a slow buildup of tension, and mistreatment. I didn’t feel valued and my boss treated all his employees like dirt, there were a few incidents, and then one, final thing that "broke the camel’s back", as the saying goes, and after my boss YET AGAIN copping out and not being able to take blame, I quit without my two weeks.  At least I didn’t call him what I wanted to.  It’s been a month, and I’ve applied at more places than I can remember and nothing’s come up yet, which scares me, but I wouldn’t go back to my old job either. It’s not worth it.

~My easter weekend was/will be spent house/dog sitting for a couple from our church. I get PAID to watch and play with two gorgeous mix breed dogs( which makes me happy as we can’t have pets in our apartment), eat someone else’s food, and take a long LONG bath in a jaccuzzi tub.  Life, jobless though I may be, is currently very, very fine.

~My current obsessions are as follows: Doctor Who. Torchwood {both of which I cannot watch because when we moved money was tight and we had to cut our TV down, and it doesn’t look like i’ll be getting my SciF/BBC America back anytime soon.} and anything involving anyone mentioned in abovementioned shows.

~My boyfriend of almost one year, the amazing graphics-novel buying, loving, sweetnothings-whispering  Justin, {also referrred to my best friend as "The Vampire" due to his neck fascination}, is studying Korean while in the Air Force, and will be stationed in Washington for one month for his survival training, will be in Nebraska for two months after that, for more training that he doesn’t get to discuss with me because I’m a civilian, and then he goes to his permanent duty station, which will be in JAPAN.  We don’t know how long he’ll be there, but it’s probably going to be at least two years. We don’t know when we’ll get to see each other during that time, and have to figure out international calling/relationships....so I’m sometimes terrified about that, and may well rant about that as well. Apologies in advance. I love him to death, and, short of David Tennant, he has no real competition for my heart. *insert "awwwss" and lovey noises*

~Mix CDs still, have, and always will, rock my world. I’m obssesed with mix CDs. I collect them, espcially from people I love. It’s a piece of what they love, and so is a piece of them. It’s an awesome way, in my opinion, to have a keepsake of those you love.

~I’m currently more into rock, pop, emo and soundtracks as far as music goes, but I grew up on soft rock and country, and still occasionally crave a little of that. I’m ALWAYS open to music suggestions and new music makes my MONTH, as you just read. =D

~I still have but a handful of good friends. My best friend, Ivy, lives in Flordia. I have two good friends here, Kate and Laura. Kate is married and we bond over many things:  fic, writing, boys, she teaches me about music and we go to laccrosse games together whenever possible. Laura gets me out of the house and encourages me to shop, and to live life well, with candied applies and laughter by the miles. She’s always happy, and I need that sometimes, as I have a tendnecy towards being down. My other good friend, Noelle, is going to school in southern California, so I don’t see her as often, but we manage to get together to see any and all Tim Burton films opening night. It’s what we do. :)

~Still a caffiene addict, who requires coffee or, preferably, Dr. Pepper, every day.

~I will go back to school....once I A) get a job and B) figure out what I want to be.

~I want to learn Italian.

That’s just a bit of me, I’ll try to update more often, but there’s a picture of Jamie. 

Until the stars are all alight....

For future reference:

I'm moving this weekend.

oh, and there was an armed gunman behind my house this morning and I  woke up to the SWAT team and an officer demanding I get out of my house, whereupon I run out of my house barefoot [I borrowed shoes later} and dont' get let back onto my street until noon.

...that'll teach me to say I have a boring life.

*Jamie

p.s- People are still good to strangers, they still will give you a  jacket off their rack to someone they don't even know.  A family I didn't even know offered Mom and I jackets when we were standing on West street this morning in the cold.That warms me.

p.p.s- someone brought us donuts while we were all waiting to get back to our houses and some kid offered the cop holding up the blockade a donut....*snickers*

Here's a mini story for you. Girl has bad, bad celebrity crush. Girl hears rumor of celebrity crush possibly breaking up with his girlfriend and she actually gets SAD because of the breakup and has a burning desire to put them back together because she actually LIKES them together and knows said celebrity has already had ROUGH year and just wants to shove them back together.

Is this weird?

Yeah...I knew it was weird too. Of course, I'm the girl....