Here it is folks. Surprisingly accurate. Well, not all that surprising, since invading Iraq was a pretty obviously dumb idea... Still, it's a good speech. Good afternoon. Let me begin by saying that although this has been billed as an anti-war rally, I stand before you as someone who is not opposed to war in all circumstances. The Civil War was one of the bloodiest in history, and yet it was only through the crucible of the sword, the sacrifice of multitudes, that we could begin to perfect this union, and drive the scourge of slavery from our soil. I don't oppose all wars. My grandfather signed up for a war the day after Pearl Harbor was bombed, fought in Patton's army. He saw the dead and dying across the fields of Europe; he heard the stories of fellow troops who first entered Auschwitz and Treblinka. He fought in the name of a larger freedom, part of that arsenal of democracy that triumphed over evil, and he did not fight in vain. I don't oppose all wars. After September 11th, after witnessing the carnage and destruction, the dust and the tears, I supported this Administration's pledge to hunt down and root out those who would slaughter innocents in the name of intolerance, and I would willingly take up arms myself to prevent such a tragedy from happening again. I don't oppose all wars. And I know that in this crowd today, there is no shortage of patriots, or of patriotism. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war. What I am opposed to is the cynical attempt by Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz and other arm-chair, weekend warriors in this Administration to shove their own ideological agendas down our throats, irrespective of the costs in lives lost and in hardships borne. What I am opposed to is the attempt by political hacks like Karl Rove to distract us from a rise in the uninsured, a rise in the poverty rate, a drop in the median income – to distract us from corporate scandals and a stock market that has just gone through the worst month since the Great Depression. That's what I'm opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics. Now let me be clear – I suffer no illusions about Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal man. A ruthless man. A man who butchers his own people to secure his own power. He has repeatedly defied UN resolutions, thwarted UN inspection teams, developed chemical and biological weapons, and coveted nuclear capacity. He's a bad guy. The world, and the Iraqi people, would be better off without him. But I also know that Saddam poses no imminent and direct threat to the United States, or to his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy is in shambles, that the Iraqi military a fraction of its former strength, and that in concert with the international community he can be contained until, in the way of all petty dictators, he falls away into the dustbin of history. I know that even a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda. I am not opposed to all wars. I'm opposed to dumb wars. So for those of us who seek a more just and secure world for our children, let us send a clear message to the president today. You want a fight, President Bush? Let's finish the fight with Bin Laden and al-Qaeda, through effective, coordinated intelligence, and a shutting down of the financial networks that support terrorism, and a homeland security program that involves more than color-coded warnings. You want a fight, President Bush? Let's fight to make sure that the UN inspectors can do their work, and that we vigorously enforce a non-proliferation treaty, and that former enemies and current allies like Russia safeguard and ultimately eliminate their stores of nuclear material, and that nations like Pakistan and India never use the terrible weapons already in their possession, and that the arms merchants in our own country stop feeding the countless wars that rage across the globe. You want a fight, President Bush? Let's fight to make sure our so-called allies in the Middle East, the Saudis and the Egyptians, stop oppressing their own people, and suppressing dissent, and tolerating corruption and inequality, and mismanaging their economies so that their youth grow up without education, without prospects, without hope, the ready recruits of terrorist cells. You want a fight, President Bush? Let's fight to wean ourselves off Middle East oil, through an energy policy that doesn't simply serve the interests of Exxon and Mobil. Those are the battles that we need to fight. Those are the battles that we willingly join. The battles against ignorance and intolerance. Corruption and greed. Poverty and despair. The consequences of war are dire, the sacrifices immeasurable. We may have occasion in our lifetime to once again rise up in defense of our freedom, and pay the wages of war. But we ought not – we will not – travel down that hellish path blindly. Nor should we allow those who would march off and pay the ultimate sacrifice, who would prove the full measure of devotion with their blood, to make such an awful sacrifice in vain.

We had choir practice all day today at our conductor's parents' house. It's in Larkspur, in a redwood grove. Huge trees sprout up out of everyone's yards there, and I guess it's nearly impossible to grow grass. Besides Arianna Huffington's house, it's probably the nicest house I've ever visited. (I went to Arianna Huffington's house in LA when I was there visiting someone.) Not going out tonight. Just staying in and reading. I watched the final episode of the first season of "The Wire." It was totally great - the whole season. I think I'll take a break from "The Wire" before I rent the second season, if I ever get around to it, that is. Tomorrow is a big Obama day. I've got my regular Sunday morning four hour shift, and then my friend Suzannah invited me to a cocktails for Obama fundraiser party! So I get to drink AND help my man! Fun stuff! Rememmber when I said a bit ago that I'm staying in? Well, I just got invited to a party, so I'm going out. Woo hoo!

I was in the future - a cold, steel and concrete gray, filthy, technologically advanced, authoritarian, totalitarian society. I was with a small group of friends. We were being chased by the military/police b/c we cared about each other. You see, in this nightmare culture, feelings were feared and discouraged to such an extent that no one had any emotional or internal life. Strong emotional attachments, like romantic and platonic love, were practically banned. My friends and I, however, believed that there must be other people like us out there somewhere, and that there was therefore some hope for humanity. We knew that we were a few of the last people alive who could appreciate beauty, love, prayer, art, friendship - all the things that make human life as rich as it is. We knew that if we were caught, we would be executed, so we were determined to do everything we could to avoid capture. I was driving us in a big futuristic van. A friend of mine was in the passenger seat. We were being chased by very frightening police on fancy motorcycles. They wore plastic body armor and big helmets, heavy boots, hug guns and clubs strapped to their backs. One of these thugs pulled up next to us and pointed his gun at us. Before the cop could get off a shot, my friend lifted a rifle and fired a round right into the gas tank. The motorcycle burst into a fireball, of course - really great action movie stuff here, folks. Then my friend looked at me with a slight smile, an expression of deep care and affection that said, "I'm here for you, Trevor. I care about you, and I will do whatever I can to protect you. And I know you will do the same." It was a wonderful dream, a fantastic nightmare.

A friend of mine asked the following questions recently, and I answered. I think this gives a fairly good picture of where I'm at these days. 1. Do you ever feel like you aren't doing enough with your life?To say that I am doing enough would be complacency, and to say that I am not doing enough just doesn't seem helpful. So, I just reject the idea that there is some thing that I "should" be doing, and strive to do the best I can with the project at hand.2. Do you wish to ever quit your job and start your own company? Do you feel like this daily?No, I have no desire to start my own company. Personally, I doubt that the global production-based growth economy/culture will last much longer, so starting a company just doesn't really appeal to me.3. Ever feel like your particular job is not contributing to the greater good of the world?If what the Buddha said is true (that we are part of a vast network of compassionate interdependent relationships), then whatever good we are doing cannot but help contribute to this greater good. If the opposite is true (that there are isolated entities), then whatever we are doing won't really affect anything. My little job contributes to keeping a Zen temple open, and personally I think that is a worthwhile endeavor.4. Do you stress out that you are not accomplishing enough at your age?Again, who says what is enough? And perhaps we would all be better off if more people accomplished less! 5. Does watching TV or reading a book feel like a waste of time to you? I've been TV-free since 1999. Occasionally, I watch Southpark or The Daily Show via the internet. Sometimes it occurs to me that there are other things I could do and/or obligations that are being put off until later. I do it anyway, though, for better or for worse. Reading books does not seem like a wast of time, as I tend to read edifying stuff!6. Do you feel like you're missing out on something?What is there that I need to experience besides this one life that we are all living? Generally, I find my life quiet and rich, even though it mostly consists of Zen practice, working to maintain a temple, time with a few friends, and the very intentionally sensual enjoyment of very simple pleasures such as an afternoon in the sun, singing in a choir, reading or writing a poem, drinking a cold glass of beer, learning something new, listening to NPR, watching a movie, et cetera, et cetera....Speaking of an afternoon in the sun, I'm out of here...

Read this: "Zen Anarchy," by Max Cafard: http://raforum.info/article.php3?id_article=3503 (Max Cafard is the pen name, perhaps, of this guy: http://www.loyno.edu/~clark/. And he seems like a hullva fella.) (The only thing I would add is that in China, putting your sandal on top of your head is a sign of mourning. Master Joshu was mourning the cat's death.) Had choir practice today. We're singing a piece set to the words of the Shakespeare sonnet, "Shall I Compare The to a Summer's Day." One of the singers pointed out that the bard begins by talking about how cool his girlfriend is, but then towards the end it's just about what a great poet he is, and how she will live forever in his poetry. Isn't that something? On Friday night I went to a show. She played first: http://www.myspace.com/tarajaneoneil. He played second: http://www.myspace.com/snock07, an older gentleman. And the headliner was Ida: http://www.idamusic.com. I was there to see Ida, although I very much enjoyed the other performers. The show started at nine, and I stayed until 12:30, when I started getting really tired. I went by myself, and I didn't really talk to anyone. In the past, I think this would have bothered me; I think I would have felt lonely and isolated. Friday night, though, I enjoyed being alone, attending to the performers, enjoying my beer, and not feeling any pressure to interact with other folks. On Saturday afternoon, I went to Dolores Park with some friends. We drank a six-pack of Tecate (una cerveza Mexicana) and sat around in the shade of some trees. Dolores Park is great. It's in the Mission neighborhood's sunny and warm micorclimate, and there's always a lot of young people sitting around on the grass eating, drinking, smoking, talking, playing music, checking each other out, et cetera. One of my friends bought cookies baked with marijuana, and I ate some. Hoo boy! I must have laughed for fifteen minutes straight. Heartily. Loudly. It was really, REALLY fun. My friends said that the crowd of people we were sitting with weren't looking at meIf you're healthy enough in body and mind and you don't have anything to do for a little while and and you don't have some addiction issue and you're with some good friends and you're not going to do it every day or anything dumb like that, getting a little high very occasionally can be fun. This was the second time I ever felt the effects of marijuana. Much better than my first time, although that was fun, too. And the only reason I bother mentioning this here is that it's such a newsworthy thing in Trevor's life, so don't get your panties in a bunch thinking that Trevor is some kind of stoner. Cuz I ain't, as anyone who knows me can attest. I dreamt that it was my ordination day. It was pouring rain, and I hoped that it would stop so that we could all hang out in the courtyard after the ceremony. It stopped raining during the ceremony, and we could see a rainbow outside. We moved the reception to the roof, so that we could view the spectacular double rainbow that stretched over the whole city. Any thoughts? And then the day after the dream I started reading a book about chakras, and the author mentioned a Hopi chief called the Rainbow Chief. Strange, huh? Ugh... I can't believe I'm reading a book about chakras! I'm not a dirty hippy! I swear! It's just that when you meditate, you get to paying attention to your body in a way that you might not have before, and you get to know that there's more going on there than you at first thought, and you get to thinking that there might be some wisdom in the body itself, and maybe you notice that there are indeed these spots of energy or something at certain places... I HATE PHISH. Speaking of chakras... For the past several years now, I've been cultivating my practice of hara. For those of you who don't speak Zen, this means that I try to keep my mind (or my attention) and my breath in my lower belly. It's a yogic/buddhist/zen/meditation thing. Now, though, I'm switching it up and putting my mind higher up, in the heart. In the seven chakra system, the heart is the middle chakra, and the hara is the second. This should be interesting. OK. Off to bed.

McCain used to be a bad-ass, but ever since he started running for president, he's turned into Bush the Second. Picking Palin as his veep is so obviously a desperate attempt to placate the religious right, and what's amazing is that they're actually swallowing it. So the Republican ticket is basically worthless. I mean, they're convention was FUNNY: "We've fucked up everything, and only we can fix it." Weird. Palin's speech was full of mean-spirited divisiveness ("Being a small-town mayor is kind of like being a community organizer... except that you have actual responsibilities." That's a big FUCK YOU to everyone who tries to make their communties better.). And then McCain tells us he's going to move beyond partisanship? Give me a break... I've never done this before, but I actually donated twenty bucks to Obama's campaign, and I hope you do too. That's two things I've never done before; given money to a political candidate, and encouraged my friends to do the same. AND a few months ago, I registered to vote so that I could vote or Obama over Hillary Clinton. Ugh... I'm turning into a damn liberal... https://donate.barackobama.com/page/contribute/standardone?source=mainnav

Today was dazzling. After a month or two of not riding, I dusted off my bike and spent most of the morning enjoying the Sunday Streets (http://www.sundaystreetssf.com/). The street was packed with cyclists and pedestrians, lots of families with little kids.

Got a new bag. It's this one, in black: http://www.yakpak.com/catalog/partdetail.aspx?PartNo=614, and I'm very happy with it.

Came home and had a light lunch, and then walked to Dolores Park and read a bunch of the novel my good friend Wes lent me, Halldor Laxness' "World Light" (http://www.amazon.com/World-Light-Halldor-Laxness/dp/0375727574/ref=pd_bbs_sr_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220230808&sr=8-6).

Having dinner with my teacher this evening.

Oh, and my friend Renee recently turned me on to pandora.com, which is quite possibly my favorite thing on the internet now.

"In the Holocaust, and less extreme examples from ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />India to Birmingham, nonviolence failed to sufficiently empower its practitioners, whereas the use of a diversity of tactics got results. Put simply, if a movement is not a threat, it cannot change a system based on centralized coercion and violence, and if that movement does not realize and exercise the power that makes it a threat, it cannot destroy such a system.. In the world today, governments and corporations hold a near-total monopoly on power, a major aspect of which is violence. Unless we change the power relationships (and preferably, destroy the infrastructure and culture of centralized power to make impossible the subjugation of the many to the few), those who currently benefit from the ubiquitous structural violence, who control the militaries, banks, bureaucracies, and corporations, will continue to call the shots. The elite cannot be persuaded by appeals to their conscience. Individuals who do change their minds and find a better morality will be fired, impeached, replaced, recalled, assassinated.

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"Time and again, people struggling not for some token reform but for complete liberation – the reclamation of control over our own lives and the power to negotiate our own relationships with the people and world around us – will find that nonviolence does not work, that we face a self-perpetuating power structure that is immune to appeals to conscience and strong enough to plow over the disobedient and uncooperative. We must reclaim histories of resistance to understand why we have failed in the past and exactly how we achieved the limited successes we did. We must also accept that all social struggles, except those carried out by a completely pacified and thus ineffective people, include a diversity of tactics. Realizing that nonviolence has never actually produced historical victories towards revolutionary goals opens the door to considering other serious faults of nonviolence."

 

- Peter Gelderloos, _How Nonviolence Protects the State_, page 22 (last two paragraphs of chapter one, "Nonviolence is Ineffective").

I’ve been writing haiku since October, and with the passing of the spring equinox I decided to put some of the better ones into a little book. The book is now completed. I’m pretty excited about it, as it’s rare that I actually create something. I’m also a little nervous b/c I wrote all these haiku in privacy, alone, for myself.

I would love to give one to everyone I know. If you would like a copy, send me a message with your mailing address and I will send one to you.

The book is called, "Too Bright to See."

I hope to hear from you,
Trevor.