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Alexis GlamourBean


Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 23
Sign: Virgo

City: Capital of Cascadia
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/13/2005

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Monday, November 10, 2008 
Well CRAP! I just wrote a blog and it was clever, it was concise and had a nice pace. It started off saying, Wow week six of the quarter already over and then I described myself as having a partially severed head but scuttling along acceptably despite this.
It talked about how last weekend was intense, "...a punch to the heart or a long tight squeeze that left a bruise." and I will share writing on it in the future. Except before I described the themes.
This weekend was super college, I had the most college Friday night of my life thus far.

I was offered a gig writing a short feature for the Evening Weekend Studies course catalog about having a Psychology focus. Isn't that nice?

My step sister got married yesterday here in Olympia. Congratulations Jessica and Kevin Brown! *cheers*


Now imagine that was all phrased with a lot more care.

Be well Friends.
2:31 AM 
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Sunday, October 19, 2008 
Blues tones will say;
Excruciating beauty
Heartbreaking beauty
Blues making beauty
Is all the same

Dark hard melody seasons a soul
Blues turns pain to ineffable vibration
To play the heart in notes is let it fly
Beyond the Blue

In deep blue touching shadow
Music is a map you draw
So let the progression hit you
Let the rhythm hit you
Because when the music hits you, you will feel no pain

Sing spirituals to steep in flexibility and power
Blues music, sweet tonic
A water to move you
Wisdom to prove you
in the harmony of truth
12:01 PM 
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Thursday, October 02, 2008 
it's true. Every morning my alarm goes off at six o'clock. I roll over, turn it off and go back to sleep until seven or seven thirty. Why do I set it for six? So I might get up and meditate. Why do I get up at seven? Because it's soooo nice to sleep.

This morning I had a weird but telling dream. It reflected some big bad wolf memories and metaphors that have been on my mind and in my guts. It showcased a feeling of impotence and highlighted loss.
It made me want to call an old friend to say, "See, you're still part of me."
But the way things are, I won't be calling.
My mind remembers so perfectly the contours of a comforting body, the vibration of a voice, the feeling of a place. We all have those things inside us, preserved and filed away to be brought out in our dreams.

Well, snap. It's time to go to work. This morning it is raining, the first rainy morning bike ride to work in what is without doubt a long line of them.
Fingers wrapped around cork handles with knuckles turning a little blue, a little white
the swish of plastic covered thighs
The whirr of a freshly oiled chain


aww yes, this is the stuff life is made of
9:47 PM 
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Wednesday, September 03, 2008 
I'll see you in September
Which is now!!!  hahaha. That means I'm home!
I've got a sweet kitty purring in my lap and a voice that is almost completely broken. Certainly not from the silence, but from talking, laughing and singing ceaselessly (while snugglin' with my ladies) upon coming home.

There is a lot to do! School and PreSchool are coming up super quick now. I feel charged, energy like fire that is stoked up tall with flames. Hot lovin' soul fire, oh yes.

AND big news here; Chelsea is moving in with me!! AND AND she's my new boyfiend!

my LadyBoyfriend, that is. We had our annoucement yesterday during the Danger Room BBQ at StarFig's family residence. *welling up* such a sweet moment...
Our rooms are connected by a walk through closet. It's not a walk in closet, just through. Oh we got mad awesome plans for fixin' up the Plymouth house too, it is going to be GREAT to have an other woman in the house.

I gotta get after the day now. Mad ups all, mad ups.
Currently listening:
Nighthawks at the Diner
By Tom Waits
Release date: 1990-10-25
1:47 AM 
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008 
Hi friends,

So i got back from LA a week ago today. It was a great time, there are pictures up in the picture section. Seeing Cybelle was wonderful, and experiencing such a totally different and crazy place. Some of my favorite parts include; spicy fruit stands in south central, creepy homeless men in elmo costumes in hollywood, and Scientology. Perhaps my favorite night there was when we hung out on the porch with some neighborhood guys, smoking blunts and drinking really sweet coconut rum, laughing and just generally feeling good.

Tomorrow i am picking up and leaving again for one last adventure before returning to the routine of the academic year. This time will be an inward journey at the Vipassana center. Until yesterday i felt as if it wasn't even really happening. Now that i'm packing and everything, it seems real finally.

My inner world lately has been tumultuous. I have seen a few people more clearly for what they are in my life, even though it stings like hell. I've seen myself more clearly also... which  is good for being able to say, "hey i let this shit  happen (or make this shit happen), and that's gonna stop now."

anyway, i  have been packing, running errands and generally taking care of business all day... so i am gonna continue with that theme,

Toodles for now
see ya'll in September
12:15 AM 
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Friday, August 01, 2008 
it's not tupperware
it's not candles or tacky artwork or even dildos
I'll tell you what this is; it's chocolate and a sweet sounding dream. Xocai chocolate is dark, Belgian and cold pressed (yeah, like coffee) This method retains antioxidants, they aren't cooked out. Healthy chocolate that can supposedly make me money, or at least pay for itself?

The pyramid shape of this operation raises my suspicions. That and the fact that they promised me; my own dreams. Hmmmm, what's more they offered the meta-dream; "health and wealth". I heard the same catch line at the Ramtha school.

Here, put on this blindfold and we'll show you the way to everything you want; money, health, happiness, enlightenment.
Follow this dreamspell and analyze astrology games while you wait for 2012.
Buy this chocolate and it will make all your dreams come true with network marketing.

The professional marketing lady said i "had to believe" in the company and product and etc, to make it work if i really am interested. I've never been good at that kind of decision unless i have a lot of information. So i am going to make myself a little research project on MXI Corp, cacao suppliers, research done on health benefits asserted. Maybe we'll learn a little about fair trade and the chocolate industry in the process.

here's what i've got so far with my 10 minutes of research on the good old Wikipedia:
History of chocolate
The Aztecs associated chocolate with Xochiquetzal, the goddess of fertility.
Theobromine,  despite its name, the compound contains no bromine
A lot of cacao comes from Republic of Côte d'Ivoire
....The image  

MXI Corp phone number
1-866-469-4267

3:57 PM 
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Monday, July 21, 2008 
hey ya'll
i'm in Kalamazoo, it's nearly midnight here. every night about this time i sit in on my bed and type up an email or whatever for a while... usually until the laptop battery runs down. tonight it's a blog and short one at that since we're starting with half battery.
My friend Keith and i were talking one day and he said he's afraid to get old. I thought he meant he was afraid to die but no, he meant afraid to get old, afraid of the pain. It never occured to me to be afraid of old age or pain or dying or death but that conversation made me consider it.
Being here with my Grandmother has made me consider it a lot more. Nancy has cancer in her bones, moving out to her arms and legs and up her neck from the spine. her bones are literally breaking with it. She is in constant pain and on enough morphine to put a horse into a coma but damned if she isn't tough about it. She still walks, drives, that kind of thing.
it's heart wrenching to watch her hurt so much. knowing how little time she has left makes it feel like 12 days isn't nearly enough. I want to stay here and never leave her side. I know that's not really an option, my life is a big ball rolling in Olympia. i promised to come back for Christmas this year. The first Christmas in Michigan since being a baby.

so i see all this pain and i think about getting old myself. i imagine every movement, every moment, every breath being excruciatingly painful and it reminds me of the little mermaid, the classic version not disney. The mermaid makes her deal so she can dance. The deal is this, she gets legs but every step is like walking on knives.
In the classic she never gets the prince and she dies. she jumps from the tower to save the prince and becomes sea foam. That's a good metaphor for all of us, we make a deal to dance and take a shot at love and most of us never make it but it's still worth the pain, right?
i imagine getting old is a bit like that. maybe i'm far too young and healthy to say this now, but it's worth any amount of pain to keep dancing.
it never occurred to me that i might fear the pain of old age and death but now that i've considered it carefully i am not afraid. right now i am not strong enough to do what my Grandmother does but someday i will be.
We were talking yesterday about her pain and i noted how tough she is. Grandma said i'm just the same and means it. It makes me so proud when she tells me how good she thinks i am... beautiful and strong in spite of all the things that came up against me being this way. She said, "you could have been bitter and you'd have had every right but you aren't"

a couple of mermaids, that's us.
3:38 AM 
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Thursday, July 17, 2008 
that's right folks, i am in MI, the mitten state.
maybe i will have more to write about my journeys later but for now i am too tired.
here is what i wrote while sitting around in the Detroit airport

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Good morning from Detroit airport!!

It's 4am Olympia time, (7am local time) I have been wandering the airport humming Elvis Costello to myself for awhile now, checking out kitsch shops and talking with people who work here. I spent about an hour in the fox-sports bar, reading, drinking bad coffee and smoking cigarettes.
    One thing I really like about traveling is meeting people. This trip I have met only guys, mostly consultants. Ray "Tony" C. is a business management consultant who was eating and drinking beer with his team at the Anthony's in the SeaTac airport. I was there getting my drink on with a fierceness, hoping to sleep in the plane. Tony looked to be in his mid forties, kind of chubby and balding. He had me listen to a bunch of salsa remixes of English songs like "I will always love you" and "cant buy my love", it was pretty jamming, truth be told. He gave me his contact information saying that if I email him he will send me salsa songs as attachments. He seemed like a nice enough dude, even if I caught him attempting to sneak a glance my rack.
    Tony bought a house in the Tri-Cities about six months ago but his cell phone still has a Vegas area code (which I recognized because of Lucas). He told me that he got divorced about six years ago and has since been married only to his work. Fitting the stereotype, Tony seemed to have a mild obsession with buying things. He has all 26 languages offered by Rosetta Stone, at $500 a pop. With pride he showed me his ipod which contains every episode of Friends and Seinfeld.
    As we talked I related factoids of my personal history and position in the world, excitedly telling him about my grants for school and plans for next year. He was impressed that I work at a preschool but wondered why I didn't have a husband or children of my own. I liked his team of guys, they insisted on taking a picture of me and Tony sitting at the bar. They were all kind of chubby and balding except one of them, who was the youngest and quietest.
    On the plane I sat next to Joe, another consultant. He has a background in accounting and construction but now he works in construction and development litigation. He was a very good natured man who lives in Detroit with his wife and two daughters age six and nine. I borrowed his shoulder for a bit on the plane in an attempt to sleep, a nice shoulder to be certain but even with such assistance (and liquid courage) mission sleep through the redeye flight was largely unsuccessful.
    That's really all I've got so say about my air travel adventure so far. Maybe something else interesting will happen in the next hour and a half of my layover, but I think that is unlikely. I am tired beyond proper cognitive functioning but at least I had my toothbrush and deodorant in my carry-on, so I am crescent fresh.

3:03 AM 
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Friday, July 11, 2008 

Current mood:  fabulous
hello friends! hope you are all doing well. I sure am.

This week has been 10x more better than last week (which was 45% yucky). I think that puts me at about 400% radtastic.  here's the skinny;

First off, i'm overall having a better time of things. last week was oddly funky for a combination of reasons.Then after i was already doing better just on my own a whole bunch of awesome stuff started happening...

i got MAD GRANTS for school next year. tuition? paid. books? paid. a chunk of cash to help with living expenses? sure thing sweetheart. this means i am going to get paid to do a paid internship for credit... holy shit, that's like triple payment!
pretty much this is the opposite of last year where i had less money and more bills, taking out loans and paying for books with help from Mom. Since i have been so poor for so long, i am deemed needful. Score!

I got my internship paperwork largely in order. it was super easy... i have no idea why i put it off for a month.

On Tuesday i fly out to Kalamazoo for about two weeks. if anyone wants to stop by and love the kitty for me while i'm gone... i'm sure she would like it, even if she acted otherwise.
I am really looking forward to seeing my family out there and doing some preemptive studying... as opposed to the usual 3,000 pages of fiction i read on Grandma's couch.

I have been thinking a lot about going to visit Cybelle in LA, it's coming up pretty quickly after i get back from MI. Basically i am getting more excited by the day.

The other thing i'm really stoked about  is being accepted to the Vipassana center (interview happened this week). In late August i am doing the 10 day retreat which is personally a big deal.

Then it will be September and i will go back to work and school, an adventure i am SO looking forward to. I am also gladly anticipating the predictability of a routine and responsibility... something i need, it's absence has taught me this.

so there's me, sending my happy-chan mojo into the uberverse for your cosmic enjoyment.

oh yeah, also worth mentioning! i saw Rocky Horror Picture Show live at Harlequin last night and it was really great. The acting, singing, dancing, costumes... the whole show is really well done. it was sexy, ridiculous, funny and engaging (dare i say educational?). i suggest everyone go see it, and by suggest i mean demand... don't make me out get Dr. Frank-N-Furter's rubber glove!
Currently listening:
The Very Best of Elvis Costello
By Elvis Costello
Release date: 2001-04-17
6:31 PM 
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Thursday, June 26, 2008 
this is one of those nights when i am going to stay up too late watching sci-fi (Dr. Who in this instance) it's not that i'm not really sleepy, i just want to watch it. i even know it's a bad idea and i am in all likelihood going to fall asleep on the rec room couch, wake up at 5:30 when the sun comes up and stumble into bed. Parsley will have been alone all night and i will have slept in a twisted kind of fetal position (as the couch is small) but damn it, i love the the Doctor.

anyway, i've been super buff this week! swimming, biking, my friend Lauren and i have been doing her aerobic kick boxing video (which is fun) and yesterday i TOTALLY DOMINATED all the crazy jungle shrubs in my yard. Friday i am going to get after them again with the ladder. This is all leading up to a third phase that involves both the roof and a chainsaw.

last night Jeremy taught me how to make sauce. Yay! someday i might impress someone by making them some sauce... if they don't know how to cook already. whisking that sauce all around made my forearm sore today, i couldn't type another word!
7:46 AM 
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