Well after my sister tried to make me help with mum and take her sometimes so she ended up in a nursing home against her wishes (she can't look after herself anymore) Lester's caregiver ringing up and wanting to know why i don't care he has no one back in NZ. So I wrote to social services in NZ and asked for a copy of my records before anyone else in this family tries to ask for things in the name of family. Just before mothers day about 20 double side pages arrived in the mail and on them are 20 reasons why I don't want to help with my mum or care why Lester is back in NZ with no one. Until the mail arrived I felt sometimes guilty about the nursing home and sorry for Lester. But after reading crap like "Jo's mum maintains that Jo is handicapped, autistic, brain damaged, hyperactive and at the same time a couch potato" and the social worker and psychologist reports completely disagreeing with her claims, a bunch of other medical terminology that I googled my mother claimed I had but thing is, if it was true, I'd be a very different type of person and what I'd like to know is what crack has she been smoking.

I guess getting these reports has shed another light on how I percieve my upbringing. I'd always felt like I had no one and social services did try for my best. When I think about it, that foster mother I  hated was the first person to tell me there was nothing wrong with me. She refused to give me the medication mum sent with me because she believed differently and that pissed mum off as she wouldn't hear a different opinion to her own. The psychologist and social workers I saw over the years tend to agree with that foster parent and wanted to put me back in foster care or send me to a boarding school to get me out of the home situation. Mum was on a pension so a boarding school was out and another foster home was also out. So I spent most of my school holidays at camps so I could be treated like a normal teenager and not some handicap my mum was trying to "brainwash me to believe" (social worker in one of these reports describes it as that!). the best day of my life after getting married would have to go to getting on the plane and getting as far away from mum as possible.

So happy belated mothers day to all the mums out there. Treat your kids well they rely on you for so much. Treat them like crap and you don't get to complain about a nursing home when the time comes.

Well Ryan and I have been together nearly a year.  All is going well and hes the most fantastic guy I've ever been with.  Every day I wake excited about us and the future we are planning together

even tho he says  I can't get out of bed!!!!!! lol 6am should be against the law.

a year on from saying there is no guy in Sydney for me - I'm moving to Melbourne because the guy whos out there for me ain't in Sydney so he must be hiding interstate.  Funnily enough, Ryan was apparently saying the same thing about Sydney girls but wasn't planning to move to Melbourne - Brisbane where his mom and sisters live.

And we met through fate at Earthdance out of the 30,000 possible people to meet who were there that day we met each other and have been together since.

Anyway tonight whle we were out at a friends party he says to me "I'd better be getting  a yes!!" I'm like I'd better be getting a rock ;) lol

 

Watch this space

 

:( I just about finished my course year 12 at the age of 29! While I should be celebrating I feeling like I've wasted so many years when I could of been going to uni and travelling europe instead it was spent on counselling, medication and a partying lifestyle to make (or more like try and forget) up for 15yrs of abuse and foster homes.  Basically a fucked up upbringing.

It both shits me and its killing me knowing my family ruined my life.  I called the police once on the monster in question and couldnt press charges because of his disability (this is in NZ) in the middle of fucken year 10 no wonder I didn;t do so well at school.  My grandmother who was supposed to be raising me and looking after him in the same home tries to claim she tried to protect me. She never once threaten the authorities to throw him out or call the police everytime he attacked me. She claims the police got called. yeah once and I was the one that rang them. That night I stayed at a mates house and then a safe house for a week then my birthmothers place for a while.

Other family - bah my bitch of a birth mother never gave a shit she blames me for ruining her life and its not my fault she couldnt keep her legs shut at 16 or use a condom.  And none of the rest of the so called family wants to know about what was going on either.

I have a great partner now thankfully but I can't trust him even though hes been better than great and understanding.  I wake up every day and wonder when its going to end.  because I've grown up feeling unloved, unwanted and had drummed into me I was stupid and a waste of space.

I thought I'd dealt with these issues in therapy but as I get my results I wish my grandmother had left me at that horrible foster home I stayed at when I was 10 maybe I would of had a chance in life for the things I deserve.

Well after what 5 months or so of being officially unemployed (ok I spent the past two months as a tafe student) and I don't even want to think about how many years as a casual - I finally have a permenant job!!! I start Monday at an engineering co as an Administrator.

Children of men is set in the near future - the year 2027. It paints a rather bleak picture of what kind of future we could have.

All the women on the planet are sterile and the last child was born just over 18yrs earlier.  London resembles a war zone and refugees are sent to camps which are not much better.  There is legal euthenasia and terrorism is a fact of life. But weed is still illegal!

The main character must get a pregnant refugee to safety.  Along the way there is plenty of people who really do want to help them and others with their own agenda.

I enjoyed this movie mostly because it doesn't paint a shiny and bright future that the USA saves!  I think its quiet relistic in the look at what kind of future we could be facing with the low birthrate in the west and the terrorism issue.