Song title: Open Arms

Family

                To have family is to have an understanding of the most influential relationship.  Yet, what is family?  Family just means, relationship.  So, family can be blood related, marriage, friendship, it is the relationship that creates, in the connection between one and another, the idea of family.  Some have intimate and full relationships, some have painful relationships, full of misunderstanding.  Either way, everyone has family, if one is to realize this fact.  Even if one is a hermit it is impossible to deny the rest of the world's existence.  There still exists, trees, clouds, mountains, dirt, oceans, rivers, animals, insects, birds, and millions and millions of people, whom, whether or not we accepted and honor their existence and presence, are still inhabiting the earth.  There is no way out of relationship.  Even to deny all that which exists, there is still a deep and vast family within, to be discovered.  Relationships can be very far, and they can be very near—within the self—in which any relationship should begin.  So, family, is simply relationship, of any kind.

                The closest family is the family within.  Not only do we embody our genetic code, human beings also embody all of the elements that exist within all of nature.  Our natural state is to be in harmony with all that exists—this is our true family.  But, to first recognize the existence of your own individual embodiment and to know it's making—to analyze,  to meditate, to discover the inner valleys of the inner relationship is the only way to begin to understand the external.  Of course, this all sounds very simple, and it is in actuality very complex.  Sometimes conflict arises in family because the two within the conflict impose themselves on each other, when in actuality they have not discovered or analyzed their own behavior within the context of their inner relationship.  It is easy to wish a family member to be a different person, to embody traits that cause for a smooth and caring interaction.  However it is much more difficult to see the person for exactly as they are, and to understand how to care for them.  What ensues during  conflict between family members is based on the individual's perception, and perception can itself create the conflict.  Perception is an ideal based on experience, and knowledge.  Experience is the memory of past action, and knowledge becomes the standard of belief that was created by the experience.  Most human beings base their entire perception on the past.  One of the most difficult practices of meditation is to see life with fresh eyes.  This is to experience life through God's eyes.  God lives not in the past or the future—God is not of time—renouncing the need for time is to live in the present moment, to see life with fresh eyes.  When one is walking one thinks not of the last step made or the step to come, simply absorbing in the essence of the single step—observing the quality of each step as its own fresh entity within the expanse of the eternal entity. 

                Relationships that are full of care and understanding are understood like walking and existing, fully, in the present moment.  This all begins with the self.  It has been said time and time again, that one cannot take care of anyone else unless one takes care of one's self first.  These are all simple, true statements, and so very difficult to make a constant practice.  Often times to come back to one's self and to take care of one's self creates a lot of pain and suffering.  This is the inner relationship.  To deny the inner suffering is to deny the family within you.  The suffering needs as much love and care as the joy and happiness—arguably the suffering needs ten times the care of love and joy.  Love and joy exist in themselves, only. 

Much like it is painful for some to look within, it is equally painful for some to come home.  Looking within, is coming home.  To look within is to care for and cultivate the self, to come home is to care and cultivate the family.  How can you love the family if you are not there? 

                After establishing direct contact to the family within, the next step is immediate—it is the person closets to you.  This could be your mother, father, wife, friend, and so on.  Whether or not the person is of blood in relation, the person closest to you, is your immediate family.  We have established that within family there is always relationship, whether it be painful and hurtful, or full of care and love.  Most of the conflict and pain that arises within any relationship is steeped in judgment.   Like perception, judgment is a product of the past.  To be in a true relationship with another is the only way to realize what humanity truly is—it is the most wonderful thing in life.  One cannot cultivate a true relationship with another without the capacity to serve the other's needs.  True relationships are about service.  Not the service of chores.  Cleaning is not the essence of relationship.  Yet, cleaning because the person in which you share a relationship with needs a clean space to feel happy and have relief, is a service from the heart, thus creating a relationship full of the fragrance of love.  A conflict of relationship occurs when the other has not the capacity to witness and appreciate the act of loving service.  So, true relationships contain the capacity to listen and observe with loving eyes, and to give the service of the heart.  Judgment and false perception can destroy these beautiful and noble attributes of true relationship, and it is easy to fall into a pattern of judgment.  Judgment often times creates:  pride, anger, confusion, pain, disinterest, and so on.  These negative emotions are not the essence of relationship.  The moment the distance is created in a relationship by negative attributes, the connection is immediately severed.  The relationship of memories, lost time, pain, confusion are still present in the heart of those disconnected from family, yet because of pride the relationship of love and understanding is vacant.  Sometimes it is not pride.  Sometimes the hurt caused from another is so great one will wish never to see the other again, and sometimes this can be for the best interest of the one which is being hurt. 

                This is the moment that forgiveness becomes so important in relationship.  One can forgive another and still never see the other with one's own eyes ever again.  When forgiveness is given, it re-establishes love and understanding in the heart, and further, creates the capacity to again live in the present moment.  Too often, our relationships are solely based in the past.  The ability to forgive allows for progression and cultivation of love in every relationship.  True family—true relationship exists where there is forgiveness.  Forgiveness is, always, given with loving speech.  If one tells another, "I forgive you," and there is still a since of anger or hesitation, it is not true forgiveness, and most likely, more problems will manifest.  Forgiveness is the greatest form of giving.  Forgiveness does not mean one person is right and the other is wrong.  Forgiveness is understanding.  Forgiveness is acceptance—accepting one for who they are in all completeness.  Forgiveness is not a wish that the other with become a different person, and being forgiven is not to change into one to be desired.  Being forgiven is an opportunity to learn the best possible way in which to take care of the other persons in the relationship.  So, forgiveness, and being forgiven are, in the truest essence, understanding. 

                To build and cultivate a loving relationship within the family is to show love to the world.  How can we reach family that is far away or distant from ourselves?  How can you have relationship with those not near to you?  If it be so, that we are all living and sharing this world together, then it be so that we are all connected.  The earth has its own perfect and amazingly dynamic ecosystem.  This ecosystem churns and thrives perfectly out of its own accord, and human beings are part of this system.  Our true nature is to be one family as a whole—working together to generate a perfect and loving world.  So, if we are all connected, then it is easy to see that giving love and building relationship with the person closest to you is to give that same love to all creation.  To love and care for one mother, is to care for all mothers on earth.  This is true because of the energy that passes between the two souls that are sharing true love.  In a relationship full of true love, care, and understanding there are so many healing vibrations.  Imagine the shift of energy between two brothers that grew up in constant quarrel that have finally come to resolution, and can love and respect each other.  This shift of energy is the very essence of peace.  When two beings can live peacefully within relationship the energy is greatly healing, and when two beings that once hated each other, now find love and understanding, acceptance and forgiveness, the amount of peace that is created pervades and heals the entire universe.  So, to love on friend is to love all the potential friends one has yet to meat. 

                The more one creates the capacity to have true relationship, the further love will spread to all beings—the more one will realize all beings are part of one's family.  The very instant one has the realization and understanding of true relationship between another, is the instant one will begin to see all living beings as part of this world family.  Not only will people one passes on the street be considered as family, but also the birds, the grass, the trees, the sky, the water in the ocean—all the embodiments that create this universe will be considered one's most intimate family.  In essence, to realize this fact within the self and to start with the self, knowingly or unknowingly, one has already begun to understand and to cultivate this principle. 

When one sees all living beings as one's own family, the only emotions that will arise are the need to give love and service to the family—to protect and care for the family—to feed and nourish the family—to hold the family close to one's heart, and make sure that one's family is completely aware and present in the love that one is creating.  To give love to one's family is to hold the entire world in this delicate way.  This understanding is most influential.  As family members we influence each other's actions and behaviors.  What an amazing opportunity for us to generate and influence loving behavior.  This activity begins with the self, extends to the immediate surroundings, and without first realizing, pervades the entire world around.  This is to create a true family of loving relationship all around one's self, and is the true essence of what it means to be human—to share in this world as if everything is a part of the same loving family—this is our true nature. 

Peace and Love to you, my loving family, I am yours

Jai Maa!

Tyagaraja

The Origin of Peace..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Since the beginning of humankind there has been talk of peace.  The Buddha talks of peace, the ancient Hindu philosophies, the Vedas talk of peace as their main focus, ancient Greek translations of the Bible speak of peace, all the great sages of India, all the profits, all the great scholars, Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Baba Ram Dass, even my Mother and Spiritual Teacher Sri Karunamayi Amma speaks of the necessity of peace in this world family, all these spiritual forces speak of peace, and there is still so much violence, confusion, conflict, anger, greed and so on.  To have peace one must first understand the truth in that word, peace, to weight this word in such a way that one has total understanding of the peace inherent in the heart.  These words that I speak, and the discoveries we will make will be done together.  They are not words from a learned place, from a book, from an individual telling you what peace it, but from a place of inner sanctuary, a place of the inner voice.  Together, here, right now, in this space we will travel together to find the truth in the word peace, to uncover the essence of that word, the true fragrance and effluent light that comes from this divine feeling.

            In peace there exists only peace.  There is no other emotion, or stimuli, just peace.  Peace exists in the realm of our true nature.  Our true nature is found inwardly.  The external vibrations, the social vibrations, the materialistic vibrations, is what will create in us the nervous tensions that cause unrest in the heart and mind.  The only way to find peace is to turn inwardly.  Humankind has performed so many great acts with the mind—traveling in space, creation of the computer, the internet, tiny mechanical devices that contain a whole lifetime of paperwork, yet somehow we have done very little searching inwardly.  The valleys that rest in the inward mind are as endless of the expanse of this universe, we must first discover this inner universe, before we can create change in the world around us.  It has been said many times, yes, that one cannot do good for others unless they are, strong enough and healthy enough in body and mind to do good by oneself.  This is not a new thought or inclination—it is well known, easy to see, very clear.   So, how do we attain peace?  I ask you, how do you give peace to your life and to others?  First, we must understand the origin of peace.  Where does peace come from—what is it that creates the feeling of peace—and most importantly how do we attain peace?  These are all questions we must ask before we can begin to spread peace to others—we must know the deepest answers to these questions and have true understanding of them, before we can give it to anyone else, is this right?  Are we together?  I hope so.

            What happens when conflict between two people arises?  The energy is very heavy, a very low, and heavy vibration ensues.  The heart will feel weighed down, the mind drags, and the rest of our outward lives will seem in chaos.  These feelings are not our true nature.  It is easy to see that—conflict creates unhappiness and peace creates joy and love in the heart.  So the core of conflict is unhappiness and the core of peace is love.  So, now, to understand peace we must understand love.  Love creates an unforgettable perfume.  When one loves another, in the purest sense of the word, the bond that is created is stronger than any tank, more powerful than any missile, and can heal better than any medicine.  To give love to the people around you is to give the highest, most healing, medicine.  Just as peace is only peace—love dwells in love, only.  That is not to say that if you love you do not have conflict, hatred, anger, depression—all of these emotions are seeds that lie within your consciousness, just as seeds of love are there as well.  The seeds of love are covered by all this dissolution.  To uncover the seeds of love is to give water to the good seeds so that the plant of love may grow and blossom to gently take care of the bad seeds.  Are you with me, am I making myself clear?  Let us back up a bit.

            Can we live in a state of non-conflict?  Can human beings live peacefully among each other without any conflict what so ever?  Is it possible?  So, now, to understand peace is to understand conflict, because in peace there is no room for conflict.  I was once listening to a lecture given by Ram Dass, he said, "I went to a peace protest in San Fransico, and I swear I’ve never seen more angry people in all my life, I thought ’where’s the peace protest, I thought everyone was supposed to be peaceful.’"  This would be an example of misguided thought.  Peace is not aggression.  There is a way to spread peace without turning into the aggressor—in that way we are only adding to the conflict.  The moment we set ourselves in an aggressive position we are perpetuating the anger and violence we fight against.  If we are truly peaceful inwardly—where does the anger have to go—anger cannot feed off of peace, it only feeds off of anger.  There really, is just a fine line.  Gandhi never stood down from his beliefs until the day his body perished on this earth, and liberated his country in doing so, yet never did he have anger in his heart, or unrest, or nervousness, or greed, or loneliness.  He was always in communion with the divine force that truly governs our existence.  God, the ultimate truth, peace, love, whatever word you choose to use for the representation of this ultimate energy—that is what Gandhi used as his defense against the unjust.  He did not retort the unjust with anger—feeding the negativity—he fought the unjust with a peaceful, non-violent heart, that was always directed toward God, or God consciousness. 

            Now we are in a subject that is very touchy between one individual and another, and creates one of the main sources of conflict in our society.  The idea of God in the human mind is based on a set system of beliefs, and really the paths are different but the goal is the same.  Just as the rays of the sun are many but the source of the rays come from one Sun.  The human belief system is what creates conflict among humanity, not God.  Whether you are a believer, a non-believer, whatever spiritual path you may be on, whatever religion you may claim, if you have peace in your heart there is no room for conflict between you and another, no matter their spiritual path or set system of beliefs.  Does this make sense?  If you have peace in your heart, you only have peace.  To have peace is to have love, and in love there is no room for conflict. 

            To have love is to know the truth.  The truth is, understanding the true nature of humanity.  We do not know the answer to the question of why—why we are here on this earth—or why so many terrible injustices are happening in this world.  The only thing we know for sure is the energies that reside in the space in our heart.  We know what will cause us happiness and what will cause us unhappiness.  The only thing you can really change is yourself.  This, too, has been said many times over, by many schools of thought.  The way to change the world around you is to change yourself for the better.  So, to be at peace in your heart is the only thing you can control in this life.  You can be at peace.

            Now, how can we remain at peace in the heart and witness so much injustice.  If we are shaken and stirred by injustices we are not at peace.  To be at peace is to understand the truth and the facts of this world—and most importantly of all—to not be at judgment with them.  The moment we take time to judge a situation, whether we know we are right in doing so or not, we move outside the realm of peace.  To be at peace is to always have this understanding—we cannot serve others in peace if we have not peace in our hearts.  This is a constant practice.  It takes years and years of practice to be in a space where we can train ourselves to remain in peace, always.   You want to do good in this world, yes?  You want to change this world for the better, yes?  How can you be affective if what you want to change makes you angry or frustrated?  You can create change that way, yet the energy is short lived, and misguided.  To create longevity of peace, one must make the practice of peace in your own heart the first discipline.  Be content and know that you are peaceful—be content and know that you have love in your heart, that you do not judge, that you have no conflict.  This practice will bring about so much change in the world around you, and so much so that you will have not even needed to leave your own community to do so.  You can try this at work, in your daily life.  I’m not talking about activism here, I’m talking about your daily life, making your daily life a practice of peace.  To practice peace in your daily life is the greatest surrender you can give to the cause that you promote.  This all starts with peace in the home

            If there is no peace in the home life, there will be no peace in the world.  We must get back to creating peace.  First, be a peace maker in your own home.  To be a peace maker is to be a pillar in the society.  To be a peace maker is to be a very strong willed individual.  Peace creates the strongest determination, because the energy of love that resides in peace, is stronger than any political power, stronger than any armed forces.  Love will be the sword.  Divine Mother Amma says, "sleigh the enemies of peace with the sword of compassion."  Peace starts with compassion.  You are all here because you are passionate—don’t lose that passion, yet turn it into the passion of loving kindness.  Loving kindness is the compassion that will bring about the change you desire. 

            Peace is freedom, peace is harmony.  These divine feelings are found in silence.  How can we attain peace with so much commotion around us—it is simple—silence.  Silence is the greatest peace—where do we discover all the answers to life’s greatest mysteries, such as; "can we live in peace?"  The answers come from silencing ourselves enough to work through a contented, peaceful heart. 

            If we really want peace we can have it without national leaders, because peace lives in the nation of our hearts, and that nation is as vast as the expanse of our entire cosmos, if we can only realize this fact.  Practice looking inwardly.  Practice this daily, every minute ever second.  People learn from your actions, if you act always in peace, with a peaceful heart, you will see, without any force of effort from your own, peace will spread throughout the world.  It starts with the home.  Give peace to the home.  To give peace to the home is to give love to the world.  To give love to one mother, or one sister, or one father, or one brother, is to give peace to all the families in this world.  Those vibrations last, and spread out to the infinite.  This is all meditation, this is all the practice of meditation—to probe deep into oneself.  To discover the true understanding of the feelings behind words that we use so easily.  It is easy to say, you have peace, or you promote peace, and much harder to make it a minute by minute true discipline.  This is what I hope for you all.  You know what is happening in the world, you are current on political events, wars, injustice, injustice in our own country and in other countries.  You see the change you want to make in the world—the art of this change is being the change you see in the world—again very easy to say, much more difficult to practice. 

            You are in the practice of communication.  Without love there is no communication.  Without love there will only be barriers created around you.  To place love in your speech is to bring peace to your communication.  Speaking peaceful, kind, loving, thoughtful words is the best way to spread peace into the world.  This is why silence is so important—in times when you are unable to speak peacefully and lovingly—is a time for silence.  In this silence one is able to see the true reality of the emotions which cause you to move away from your state of peace.  In silence one has the capacity to return to yourself and re-establish and re-sprout the seeds of love and peace within you.  It is almost as if you are re-charging your spiritual mind, your true self.  Being nervous, frustrated, angry, full of hatred, greedy, and so on, take a lot of effort, it expends all you energy.  So, to be in calm, peaceful, loving silence, being kind to yourself, is a way to bring yourself back to your true nature, so that you may again be able to go back into a world of mass chaos and confusion and still have the strong will of a peaceful warrior.  So, sometimes the best way to communicate is to remain in silence until that light of peace and love enters your heart once again.  Do not waste your words in negative activity.  Time is precious, human life is precious and delicate.  Imagine the profound effects of speaking one kind and peaceful word to a person who has grown up around hatred, imagine the insufferable weight that is lifted away from the heart of the person your kind words are directed.  Treat every moment, every opportunity to communicated as your daily, inward, peaceful practice.  Look at your life as an opportunity to spread this level of kindness, love and understanding to those around you.  Only then, will you begin to see the longevity and the fruitfulness of peace activism.

All my love, prayers, and blessings to you all.

Om Shantih, Shantih, Shantihi

May all beings experience peace…

Tyagaraja

What is Faith..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

            True faith is really just devotion.  Most of us think of faith being—an idea of what you believe.  Belief sometimes confuses faith.  Belief comes from a list of decisions one has made using the mind to calculate what is good, what is bad, confusing, misleading, joyful, beautiful, ugly—all these decisions come from the mind, and from outside social surroundings.  True faith comes from the inspiration of the heart.  Sometimes you can still have faith even if your mind is doubting your set form of believe.  True faith allows you to grow.  In some situations the only chance to grow is destroying everything one believes in order to create a new sense of being.  For example, one may strongly believe that smoking cigars will not cause one to be ill, and then receive tragic information of having lung cancer.  Everything this individual has told themselves they believe is destroyed, and new beliefs will begin to rise up from the inspiration of the heart—even if those inspirations go unanswered, deep in the heart, this person will know the truth. 

Faith brings the truth, and in the truth there is no conflict.  This could be argued and has been time and time again.  The truth is a representation and an aspect of love, and in love there is no conflict, there is love, only.  It is a set form of belief that will create an unwillingness for harmony.  If one has true faith there is no need for arguing a certain view, or stand point, because the truth of one’s faith is something that is unshakable. 

True faith is meant for silence.  In silence the relationship with one’s faith can grow deeper.  Faith is meant only for the relationship between the seeker and God.  God, only, has the answer to the question of faith, and every individual sees God in their own light.  How can one explain something that is without time, creates the expanse of universe upon universe?  This has been a question that humankind has searched for from time immemorial.  A true understanding of God is meant for silence, only, because silence is the language of God.  There are innumerable languages in the world, and God’s language is only one, silence.  No matter the race, language, religion, faith, belief, God is only able to listen to the sounds of the heart, and these sounds are more universal than math.   The vibrations that come from a silent relationship with true faith, God, and the ultimate truth, are something much more powerful than words, and create an exponential growth in the heart, mind, and spirit of the spiritual seeker.  The path of a true spiritual seeker is met with many obstacles, and true faith, devotion, are the strongholds that give will to the week. 

So, faith is devotion.  When we realize the confusions, pains, sorrows, anguish, loneliness, and unrest that enter our hearts, it is a time of testing our true devotion.  It is also, a time when our minds will confuse the situations further, by clinging to past belief.  Therefore, true devotion means—giving everything—pains, anguish, joy, beauty, love—over to the ultimate truth that governs this universe, and to realize it is not up to us to find and strive for the answers (this is a form of meditation).  In releasing everything to God, we have the ability to maintain devotion in times when our entire belief system is being shut down, and destroyed, or tested.  In this release the answers will flow from the spirit of inspiration, rather than from our clinging to past beliefs, which will only result in more conflict—conflict within ourselves, and within the world around us.  Devotion implies a sense of surrender—and in that surrender the sweetness of life can be found—the simplicity—the true, unconditional love.  Without fail this is something that has worked in my life, a many great, tiny miracles, and sometimes these things can go unnoticed.  Do not allow your clinging to beliefs allow you to miss the sweetness of devotion to loving all beings on this Mother Earth.  We are a family, all beings on this Mother Earth are your brother and sister, you mother and father, they are thus to be regarded—with the sweetness of devotion to love, and harmony we may realize this experience.

All my love to you and all those that surround you in this most Holy of times, may true love, faith—devotion rise in your hearts like the birth of each morning sun, and may new light shine brighter than one-thousand suns.  May you give this light to your world family.

Om Shantihi

Jai Karunamayi!

Tyagaraja

This one day meditation workshop will be a true blessing of silence.  In our busy lives there is so much commotion.  It is truly a blessing to give yourself the gift of silence for one whole day.  Silence creates a profound peace in the heart and mind.  This peace will generate an understanding of the self.  It is not something that comes easy, but with practice.  Silence is a practice of the most devoted of spiritual aspirants. 

          During the workshop we will dive deeply into the practice of meditation, with the hope of heightening spiritual awareness, calm in the heart, and connection of the most vital life source we share as human beings- our breath. 

          Meditation is a practice of everyday life- understanding the entire scope of existence- seeing everything precisely for what it is.  Meditation is not something that can be learned easily, it is a practice of individual growth, and understanding.  Each experience will be different between each individual.  What will remain constant among the aspirants is the breath. 

          The practice of pranayama (breath control) is an ancient one.  The teachings of pranayama we will be practicing in the workshop are simple techniques passed down from time immemorial.  Not only will we be breathing deeply and learning the secret practices of pranayama, we will be connecting ourselves to the ancient peoples that developed these practices that have been preserved so delicately. 

          Some Hatha Yoga will be taken as well.  The Asanas (postures) will be specifically focused on advancing the longevity of one's sit.  For some, sitting in meditation for even 30 minutes can become quite painful on the back and legs. Techniques will be given in how to deal with the pain, as well as these specific asanas that will help develop a firm, and comfortable ability to sit for longer periods of time.  The goal of any Yoga practitioner is developing the meditative practices.  The longer one is able to sit the deeper the aspirant will dive into the ocean of the Self.

          We will also be taking part in an all day fasting, along with the meditation.  This will not be strictly implemented- if you feel you cannot possibly last for 6 hours without food, please bring some light snacks.  Fasting is just another way for cleansing the body, and improving your health, so that it is directed toward the spiritual path.  The health of a spiritual seeker is vital.  We will have water and fasting teas available- also we will be served a light meal as part of the ending ceremony.

          None of these practices will mean anything, or produce any positive results, if the heart is not calm, and pure.  While meditation itself produces these noble qualities, the gift of silence will produce this calmness, purity, and the importance of silence will be experienced.  Without silence we cannot fully connect with these noble attributes, and furthermore, cannot discover the negative attributes which drive us away from our positive and spiritual selves.

          The practices of this meditation workshop can be taken by one who has years of experience, or one who might have never practiced meditation before.  No amount of intimidations are necessary for this workshop, anyone and everyone is welcome, there is no exclusiveness. 

          To You, I send all my love and devotion.  It is my hope and prayer that we may further our spiritual journeys together, and that I may humbly help, if I can in that progression.

Peace and Loving Blessings

Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthihi

Loka Samastha Sukino Bavanthu

Jai Karunamayi!

Your Friend, and Brother,

Tyagaraja

Cell:  832-723-5934

Email: johnmyd@hotmail.com

This is the Yoga and Meditation Schdule for the New Year, any questions please feel free to contact me. 832-723-5934

Hatha Yoga and Meditation Schedule and Basic Information..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Tuesday and Thursday Mornings:  8:00am to 9:30am

Tuesday and Thursday Evenings:  7:00pm to 8:30pm

Sunday Mornings:  7:00am to 8:30am

Sunday Mid-Day:  11:00am to 12:30pm

Sunday Evenings:  6:00pm to 7:30pm

            Yoga Sessions are taken at my studio, which is my living space:

            810 Colquitt A

            Houston, Tx 77006

            If it is good weather, sessions can be taken in Meneil Park, near University of St. Thomas Campus.

            Other Basic information:

I am certified in aspects of Hatha and Raja Yoga.  We could talk about the meanings and different forms for hours.  Really, my practice is based on matching movement with breath in Yogasanas- and the integration of special pranayama (breathing) and meditation.  The Hatha Yoga style is a slow moving and therapeutic Vinyasa with Vinyasa Krama.  (Kramas are the little steps necessary for building each Asana- position.)  The Raja Yoga is the meditation.  The use of simple Sanskrit Mantra will aid in centering the mind, and sends healing vibrations through the body and out into all space that surrounds.  Pranayama is the breath control techniques.  So, with combining Mantra and Pranayama, the aspirant will come closer to understanding the silence and peace of meditation.  Meditation is the ultimate goal of any Yogic search.  Meditation is only something that can be explained from within, and in each session we will try our best to reach your best suited individual goals- and try to touch a little understanding of true Meditation.  The session will contain the learning of many Asanas (Hatha Yoga Postures).  The aspirant will receive hand drawn, detailed descriptions of each Asana, to use as a practice model for home practice.  The sessions are one and a half hours long.  The first 45 minutes is used for learning Asanas, and the last half is used for learning mantra, pranayama, and sitting silently in meditation.  Mats and sitting cushions are limited, so please come prepared with these items.

            The first session is free, and then we'll talk money.  I don't want anyone getting into something they don't feel they enjoy working on, or get anything out of.  It is my hope and prayer that many people, whatever age, begin to enjoy the fulfilling benefits of a lifestyle surrounded with Yoga.  The root meaning of the word Yoga is Union.  So, may you have Union in your life.

Many Blessings, all my love, and prayers to you.

Peace

Tyagaraja

(Note: I can't get the pictures to work, ask me and I'll send them to you, it really helps tie it all together, I will keep working on it and re-post eventually)

My First Meeting with Sri Karunamayi

My First Meeting of Sri Sri Karunamayi… my guru

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My day started with a yoga practice and then immediately to Gayatri's when she called at 1pm.  I collected materials for her:  index cards, 10 half gallons of Organic Milk, Tissues, Pens, etc.  I started right out in the middle of the hustle bustle.  I loaded Palm trees in Astreya's car.  After I finished with the collecting of items, I made my way to Unity Church, and in, with the materials, to the brown pyramid.

I helped Gayatri with different things: cleaning the bowls that held the Ghee (butter oil basically, at this point I didn't know what it was either), writing down numbers on the back of the index cards (1-600), arranging flowers.  The index cards are for the requests or questions that you might have for the day of individual blessing.  Tonight was the Evening Program.  It was like a welcoming and greeting type occasion.  The people that travel with Amma were preparing and setting up the Altars, and unpacking all the sacred materials that go into the Hustle Bustle of her arrival.  I felt welcome, right at home.  I didn't have to waste words with anyone; everyone was all there behaving selflessly so that the experience went over perfectly.  Who did what was somewhat political, only because it was necessary for everything to be in its right place.  Amma cannot waste energy worrying about where the Ghee is and who will pour it into the bowls, who will place the wick in it, who will light it, and so on, and so on, and there are all these little duties like that.  I was a part of it all, even if I didn't unfold the sacred sheets that Amma was to sit on.

     We received word that Amma would arrive soon, and Gayatri makes sure I come out side to great her.  I hear chanting from a few people at the front of the line that is forming.  Soon I hear Gayatri blow the conch, which is what you do when Deities come, says she.  A priest from Meenakshi Temple in Pearland was chanting as they walked Amma down the sidewalk, a few Indian women were crying and I began to fill with love. 

   I threw rose petals at her lotus feet, as did everyone else, she stopped and looked at me as she did many people and said, "I love you baby, I love you my children."  She took her time and shuffled along.  She was tiny, 4'9'', tiny.  She would smile and it would radiate love.  Everyone left in the hall (about two or three hundred people) was standing as she walked and, continuing, she smiled and said, "I Love you Children, Most Beloved Children."  Gayatri hurried me back up to the front.  All of the Amma's direct devotees that travel with her were up front, as were the local Houston devotee's.  I sat next to the Tabla player.  He looked Irish-red hair trimmed beard, blood shot eyes from either pot or exhaustion, because of the workload involved with lugging all necessary materials.

   Gayatri made sure I brought my guitar.  Weeks earlier she had asked if I could write a song, some sort of a greeting, to play for Amma, and she would try to get the directors to let me play.  I tried several times to write something, or use old material that was similar in feeling, and even the old material lost its feeling. For some reason the people in charge of the events didn't want me to play anything, so Gayatri told me to bring my guitar anyway and that Amma loves music, and to play along quietly to the songs.

   I tried that and the Tabla player immediately asked to move if I was going to play because he couldn't hear a thing.  I felt hurt at first, but then learned the true meaning of my silencing.  The group with Amma had set up a projection screen that feature many things throughout the course of the weekend, visuals, ways in which Amma is working love into the world.  As she sang the songs the ancient text was projected.  By not playing I was able to realize I should be following along and singing just as everyone else.  She would move from song to discourse with ease and peace in mind.  Wait I'll back up.  The Priest from Meenakshi Temple in Pearland sounded off in a penetrating Mantra to welcome Sri Saraswti Devi.  The Mayor of Pearland granted Amma with the honor of Sri Karunamayi Day April 29th in Pearland, Tx.  Through Meenakshi, Amma has been able to work civil duties into the communities.  A traditional Indian Spiritual Dance school performed in three age groups for Amma.  The Dances were portrayals of ancient peoples within Hindu custom.  The little girls made me cry a little bit, and I later realized it was the way Amma was smiling at them that touched me so deeply. 

  Amma gave discourse in preserving nature, saving water, becoming kind people, generous people, sweet people.  She said, "Imagine if everyone in Houston planted 100 trees.  Birds would come, trees would come, and more rains would come."

  She continued with "I love my most beloved Houston Children," and continued on like that in and out of song, and describing bits of the meaning hidden in the ancient Sanskrit text.  Afterward, Amma wanted to greet everyone and place a bit of vibutti on our third eye, as protection, and deep connection.  Her finger on your head is a simple and beloved blessing.

  I was pushed into hustle-bustle mode by Gayatri, shoving people along, getting them to stay up in the line.  Amma would be there all night if it didn't move quickly.  Gayatri wanted to introduce me personally to Amma on this night so I waited with her until most everyone had gone through, hundreds of people, shoving them along, all their eyes filled with child-like gleams.  I wondered briefly, "Would they be able change their life in this way without Amma and on their own?"  Then, I recognized I was questioning something, and I told myself to give total freedom to the moment at hand and discern later, after the openly inward experience.  Finally Gayatri grabs me by the left arm and is pulling me up to Amma.  Before Gayatri begins to say "Amma, this is J---," Amma is already right with me, avoiding Gayatri completely.  She says directly, "Thank you, Jon, so much for working for Amma."  First of all Gayatri was about to call me Jonathan, has never known or referred to me as Jon.  The feeling that it gave me was as if it were my own mother Barbara Welch herself calling me by name.  And that was it.  I was off and it was on to the next person, who most likely would be filled with love and questions.

 After everyone receive vibhutti, Amma gave one last discourse.  She stepped down off the alter area and some devotees pushed up a chair and the small microphone.  Gayatri pushed me up close and we all crowd around her like children.

    I helped tidy up a bit and went home around 10:30.  Melanie was kind enough to want to listen as I rambled on to her about the evening. I carried on again to Unity church.  I took a yogasana practice in between the church and the pyramid were a few people gathered, waiting for individual blessing day.  By 7:30 I could hear more people gathering, so I went to find Gayatri to prepare for hustle-bustle again.

  I was to pick up Gayatri's friend and her son from Gayatri's apartment; they had flown in the night before from Oregon.  I waited around for them for almost an hour and no one came down, I called Gayatri and was told to come back for Amma's arrival at 9:30.  People had been gathering their cards since 8am, so my card was number 227.  I have yet to look up the numerical significance, but I'm sure there's something to it.  This time I pulled out my guitar to greet her and played the simple chord I found the night previous.  She wasn't moving as slow as yesterday, respectfully and still gleaming of smile, yet continuing on swiftly into the hall, as swift as anyone 4' 9" can move.  The Devotees and many others around were chanting "Om Aim S'rim H'rim Saraswati Devyai Namah. (Saraswati is the Goddess of music, animals, many other things…)"  I rushed into the hall to place my guitar next to my meditation cushion, rug, a picture of Mel, my tingshas, a yellow mango.  I went to find a place up front with Gayatri; only today was a bit more formal, the visitors had to stay in the seats, as the devotees were the only people allowed up front and very close to Amma.  It was necessary to keep the facilitation of individual blessings day moving smoothly.  They would be there all day if people crammed up front and demanded more time with Amma.  It didn't matter because you could feel her.

 The day before, as I said I, was open to the experience and not judging or critique the events that ensued, however I did not feel as if I had reached the desired ultimate reality, lightness, and oneness with it all. The energy today was soaring. I saw Gayatri motion for me to come up to the front in a hurry, I really wasn't "allowed" there, but Gayatri would always say that Amma wanted me there.  I decided not to choose to believe her or disbelieve her.  When I approached her she didn't waste time with words, she simply crammed me up front behind the line of devotees, she sat behind me to the left.  Amma at this point was already in with the milk, and Swami was transferring the milk to her in silver tea pots.  She was chanting Sri Suktam, and pouring the milk over the Sri Charka stone in the middle of a tin pan.  The Sri Charkra is in the middle of the forehead, it is also a representation of a pyramid made of 43 pyramids, and each line of the triangles that make the pyramid has some spiritual significance.  Not only does she herself represent the pyramid, and is the pyramid, we are inside Unity Church pyramid, so the experience is magnified in that way as well. 

   So she's pouring the milk over the stone and chanting, I have my eyes wide open, sitting on my cushion.  It felt as though I were standing on a cliff behind a great waterfall.  So you can imagine how that might feel, breathing heavily, sucking in air, crying at its immaculate reality.  It was if the stone was my head and the milk was pouring over the center of my hand and covering all space around, the sounds resonated in my heart and Gayatri was telling me to calm down and be quite, to keep the process organized, because any disturbance in me will create the same in others, no matter how immaculate.  I try to calm down, and breathing, I was, deeply, I tried to chant a bit, yet became sucked into the sounds, as if my body was then transformed into sound vibrations only.  Only later did I realize it (because of not judging the experience in either way) as Doyle (Guitar player Million Year Dance, friend.) pointed it out to me, "You were baptized man, you got a cleansing."  It might sound dramatic, but that's precisely what it was - I became acquainted, then was the next day opened to the experience of receiving my individual blessing with all of my being, I was able to receive it in the highest sense, with a very still mind, floating around in the baptism of milk.  My ego only flared up later to think about the milk.  I bought the milk, Organic, WFM brand, and team member paid for.  It did make me feel happy to take part in the selfless acts, as were others. 

   The milk was then carried by a devotee from New Mexico off to a table at the back of the hall, where people were able to then have a drinking of it.  The milk had spices, cosmic vibrations, and the 100% pure intent of God within it.  I gladly had some after I received my orientation on how to approach Amma.

 I had missed the first orientation, and Gayatri made sure to motion me to go, as the Tabla player spoke over the PA about where to go and what to do.

What I'd gone through, hearing words, and moving, and walking with the world was translating a bit differently now.  When we piled into a room in the school adjacent to the pyramid, the same devotee that carried the milk began discourse on how to approach Amma.  He would say things that would touch me deeply and all I could do was laugh and cry a little.  All I saw him as was a transfer of selfless energy, beautiful, kind, and deliberate.

 I had, by that time, already filled out my card, so I made some notes at the orientation, and went back into the hall, walking slowly, observing.  I went from sitting and meditating, to watching a blessing taking place, to then asking Gayatri if I could help in any way.  She kept telling me that today was more formal and she couldn't give me something to do if she wanted to, it was fine because it was running smoothly anyway.  I was able to sit at the back of the hall next to all my special things, and soak in the cosmic divinity - The deep connection to the ancient peoples.

   Hours had gone by, Amma went through about 40 to 50 people an hour.  She would spend more time with some, and others only a little bit, but rest assured it was precisely what was individually needed at the time.  It was all of a sudden my turn after the next three people. 

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   Gayatri hurried me in line, and began to describe what I do with all my things.  I had my guitar, the mango, a picture of Mel, my card, my bells, and meditation cushion (gamdham, or zafu).  I place all items to be blessed (meaning she will touch them) except my guitar and cushion - oh and the mango - because I decide to give it to her on a tray. (About the Mango) First I thought, "oh man I want to eat this mango," then I said , "No, I have her bless it first," then, "I'll just give it to her, what am I talking about, she might like it."  With childlike glow she touched all the things on the tray, as I handed her the Mango, she tried to bless it, I said, "It's for you."  She pulled it all the way to her heart.  She represents the center of the universe, and is that, and she is pulling this mango to her heart and says, "Eat it on behalf of me."  Mel and I ate the hell out of it that night, Mel ate more than I, and it was a wonderful thing.  The devotee holding my guitar and gamdham began to hurry them off, because it was slowing the process, but with one right arm movement towards them, Amma opened her mouth to say, "I will bless these things." She touched my guitar and said, "Saraswati, yes."  I didn't realize until later that she hadn't even read my card yet, which said "Write the Saraswati symbol on my tongue."  Astreya suggested that I do that because I expressed an interest to learn the chants.  The symbol would allow me to learn and speak the chants more accurately, it is as if Saraswati is dancing and singing on my tongue, singing the chants for me.  So, she was saying, This is your Tongue, use this to create the music or sound.

 When I read Paramahansa Yogananda Autobiography of a Yogi, the moment when Paramahansa received his name touched me very deeply.  I was open to the fact that Amma might very well be my guru, pulling toward her with her selfless love - All for me, and everyone - so I wrote to her, "If you will please give me a New Name - a spiritual one."   I said "will" because I know she can - will meaning:  "if you feel I am ready grant me with the name."

 I close my eyes and received the blessing as she pets my head.  She stops, I open my eyes.  This is all happening with 1 minute, very fast.  All she says to me, the only words used were, "Name… Tyagaraja."  I give her a look like please say it again, because I have never heard of it and won't be able to remember how to pronounce - so I can then tell someone who might know more, who it is.  She repeats the name - and I am so concentrated on trying to remember the name - and only when I spoke with Swami did the rest of what Amma said come to me.

 I rushed off to grab my things, and Amma was on to the next blessing, 100% enraptured in the beauty of her beloved.  I repeated the name several times to myself, as I looked for Gayatri, and even she didn't know who it was, or what the name meant.  She said, "Come with me," and rushed me over to Swami, "We'll ask Swami."  Swami was sitting at the computer and controlling the projections, and was speaking with someone when we approached - I'm repeating the name to myself.  Gayatri says, "Swami, Amma has given Jonathan a name and we would like to know what it is." She told him and then I re-pronounced it.  He turned halfway in my direction, looking over his right shoulder, as if to tell me what it meant.  I handed him my card and asked if he would spell it for me.  As he wrote TYAGARAJA, he said, "This is a very special blessing Amma has given you." (And I'm sure he would say that even if someone told him she said, "I Love You," because every time she speaks it's a blessing.)  He continued, "Tyagaraja was a renunciate musician who the people of India called Tyagaraja: the King of Music.  Many emotions flooded my veins.  Gayatri could see them swelling and pushed my back while telling me, "Go let it out, it's ok, go let it out."  I moved quickly outside trying not to make a scene, because I was beginning to boil over.  The only thing I could do was run out to the sidewalk, prostrate on the concrete and ball, with my head between my knees.  I kept saying the name, and looking at the card, and crying out more.  I was trying not to think, and put any judgments on myself or the experience that was now river running through my body.  I felt no body, I felt energy, I felt no gravity, I felt no time.  I felt a part of it all.  I could in no way begin to think of myself as the king of music, or behave like I was.  I then looked at the name as a great honor.  An honor with which Amma entrusted me - that I might be able to grow into something so devoted.  I kept looking at the card and seeing the blessings I asked for Melanie, and thanking her so much for allowing me to participate so thoroughly in this.  I would look at the card and cry, and breathe deeply.  Eventually I pulled myself together enough to wander back into the hall.

 I later did quick research on the name, and it was like reading descriptions of myself.

 -Then name means King of Sacrifice, and the people of  India called him the King of Music

- He wrote over 2,000 songs

-The melodies and lyrical content is what was most memorable, while the music itself was simple in nature.

 -He performed plays, and operas to his music, accompanied with stage design and illusions.

 There's more, I'm still reading….

 Throughout the day I would sit and soak in the divinity, drench myself in pure selfless love that was covering all of Houston.  In parts of my meditation I would well up with tears of joy, and my breathing was deep and audible.  Sucking in air and crying, trying not to disturb any other individual blessing that might be going on.  Amma started at 9:45am and ended around 6pm.  She took one break for 10 minutes.  She saw over 415 people that day, that was just the card count, some families used one card per family and she touched everyone.  I would watch her sometimes from the back of the hall, sometimes I could see her shaking her head back and forth with a smile that radiated a million suns.  I could tell she was saying I love you babies, or maybe that was just what I was seeing.  I can only imagine that everyone saw her in their own ways, and everything else becomes folklore.  I would have thoughts like that and then go back into meditation, swimming in the milky pool, soaking in selfless divinity.  I was sitting adjacent to the devotee holding a tray with individual ounces of blessed milk from the Sri Suktam.  Watching people drink the milk was a joy.  Their faces would light up, as if they had waited all year for Amma to return.

 At some moment I was up and walking, speaking with Gayatri about the name and other things.  Steven Wetherell walks in the door, with a nervous, friendly smile.  I ask Gayatri if there is time for Steven to see her.  I watch Steven receive his blessing.  He didn't have a card; he just wanted to be there more for observation I think.  She patted his head, gave him some treats and sent him on his way.  As I suspected, after the blessing were all complete, Amma stepped down off the altar and motioned for the chair, everyone crowed up around her and Gayatri, again, pushed me up to the front.  I was already high on cosmic energy, I looked in Amma's eyes and could see that she was as well.  She didn't look tired or out of breath.  A family came up as we were sitting down… they were late.  Amma gave them attention and blessed them; they sat down afterward giggling at each other.

 Amma said "Questions," and shook her head as if to say, "Yes, it's ok, don't be shy you can ask."  I struggled to even think of any, or form words to come out, curiosities of any kind, nothing, actually I sat with my mouth open and a childlike purity about my face.  Amma spoke about how many people are sad, so sad, and that there needs to be more compassionate people, so the compassion will continue.  Become selfless for everything, because everything is only an extension of you, so by helping others we help ourselves.  She spoke of the poor, and of health.  She looked me in the eye several times, as she did others, her eye penetrated and I could feel my own mother, Barbara Welch, inside of Amma.

 This time, as she left, I wanted to send her off with my guitar.  I found a chord from earlier in the day, while listening to the songs being chosen by Swami.  It sounded like the chiming of a great clock.  I met Amma half way from the hall to the car she road in.  She stoped and looked at me directly, opened her sweet mouth to say, "Beautiful."  She doesn't mean that out of a courtesy.  She really means Beautiful, in every essence of that word.  She smiled whole-heartedly and moved along.  Gayatri sounded the conch, Amma pointed and laughed out loud. The Tabla player broke a coconut that was lit on fire in front of her, and she giggled again.  She stopped again once she was actually in the car, to touch the few remaining people standing by.  I wanted to touch her, but as I felt myself stroking the strings, it felt as if I were touching the fingers of Amma herself.

 That night I went home and tried my best to translate to Melanie what had happened to me.  I feared that her not being there might make it very hard for her to understand, in turn, making it seem like a fantasy.  We did some grocery shopping and there was music playing over the intercom.  Most likely it was a pop song of some kind, yet all I heard was Om, Aim, S'rim, Hrim, Saraswati, Devyai, Namaha.  The rhythm of the words was penetrating my flesh.  It felt as if my flesh was actually the sound and rhythm itself.  I most certainly shouldn't have been driving in my state, yet somehow that night I was to go off with Doyle to two local band shows, and try to hand out flyers for our next show on May 19th.  I met with Doyle and told him half of this story before it was time to head out to the bars.  I couldn't believe I went from that pyramid of divinity, to Walters on Washington - ick.  No judgment, no judgment, I told myself.  Astreya had helped me with a great visualization.  When she sees someone who might be in need she says to herself.  I place them on the lap of the Divine Mother.  That is precisely how I felt in meeting Amma.  I felt like I was turned into a baby, rested in the lap of the divine, and am now to re-grow myself.  So I added on to that in saying, "I place this person, along with my judgment into the lap of the Divine Mother, and I am the lap."  Meaning I am a bridge, a yoga (yoga can mean "union"), a selfless river leading toward the Divine Mother.

 The next morning I picked Doyle up at 5:30 so we could take a yogasana practice before the fire ceremony.  There would be a lot of sitting and I wanted to be loose to receive it in the highest sense possible.

The Homa (fire ceremony), now seems like a transcendental dream, and is very hard to explain.  Doyle and I started the day with the hustle-bustle of pointing cars in the right direction to be parked.  Today we were in the backyard at Center Point.  The fire pit was being set up and Gayatri made sure I got a front seat next to her.  She gave Doyle and me our Coom Coom, and made us laugh a few times.  "My friend was asking me, what's with all these good looking guys coming around," she said, "now I might have to stop being a renunciate."  I told her there are different things to renounce, knowing she was joking.  The coom coom increases and elevates the experience of meditation; it is blessed powder from the lotus feet of the Divine Mother.

 When Amma arrived it was right to business once again.  Gayatri motioned me to come to the car to greet her, but Amma was on to her seat, calmly, assertively, and full of divine love.

    By this time Swami had already been preparing and chanting.  Everyone was wearing white as Amma suggested the day before in the hall.  Some people were wearing Saris, and cloaks, and fabrics, so I felt comfortable.  I felt more at home than I ever had.  We began chanting and performing the Homa, Gayatri handed me her book so I could follow along.  The words were coming to me, and I was able to learn very fast.  (This will sound like a fantasy and I can't interpret it, but I'll try.)  The sounds vibrating from my own chest, from the mouths and chest of those around, of Amma, of Swami, of Gayatri, Doyle, they were all penetrating my body.  My body began to dematerialize, my atoms were expanding, I was becoming a stream of water, and I was becoming a timeless flame.  The smoke from the fire pit was too, detoxifying the air.  I would take big heaping breaths into my nose and out again, fast and deep.  Mostly the smoke was covering Amma as if there were gusts of wind blowing toward her and would bellow out the other side of the tent.  At certain moments the wind would still, and she and Swami would be drenched in cosmic smoke.  At those moments I would take the biggest breath filling with the detoxified air.

 Amma would move from Mantra directly into discourse about the Mantra; from that to a burst of the tabla and into sacred song.  There was not a moment wasted.  All the chants were faster in tempo than I was used to from listening to recorded versions.  The pulsing of my chest matching the vibrations all around was beyond stimulating.  During moments in the song, Swami would hold up a flame lit by Ghee to Amma and then out to everyone that surround.  The devotees and others who knew what to do began accepting the gift, and fanning the flame from the Ghee to their heads.  I began to do the same after watching once.  Also, toward the ends of mantra Karunamayi (Amma) would say something in Sanskrit as an announcement, everyone held their hands overhead and Amma would then instruct us to lower them.

 Toward the end of all else that I cannot explain/describe of the Homa, Swami began to discourse on the Darkshan that everyone would receive from, and about the peace march.  The tabla player added a bit about the meditation retreat at Manakshee Temple.  Amma made two short movements as if to alert two specific people.  All she said was "Peace March," I noticed confusion among the devotees, "She said it again, "Peace March."  That was it, that's all it took.  It seemed as if at first there was some confusion among the devotees as to how the Peace March and the Darkshan would work.  They didn't want everyone to just scatter forward, there needed to be an order about it.  So all Amma said was Peace March to alter the plan; letting them know what was to come first.  Everyone stood; Amma was walked with a sign in front of her that read "Peace March."

 At first it was a large bunch of people, all trying to be close to Amma.  Then as Amma walked there formed a semblance of a line.  She walked a complete circle around the yard at Center Point, and stopped.  Devotees pulled up a stool, and covering for her.  Someone handed her a cup with darkshan, she was able to put complete, controlled order into the situation.

The best possible scenario:  I stepped near a huge fire ant bed and stopped to calmly distract people from it.  As the line formed, I was about 30 people back.  When it was my turn I felt the rush of spiritual light and emptiness.  The breathless state.  The first time she greeted me it was, "I love you Baby."  Today she put the darkshan on my forehead and said in a much softer, sincere tone, said, "I Love you My Son."  I internally rushed with rivers of tears of gratitude.  Such a kind, selfless being.  If there were something to be done about anything, she would have it done for you.  All my burdens at that moment felt completely taken away.

(My friend Gayatri directly behind Amma)

 And they had food.  Prasad, blessed food.  All the ingredients…

 I happily accepted my food and ate it with slow childlike understanding.

 I went back and forth from - picking up after folks - going to the fire and sitting by it, smelling it, breathing it deep into my lungs, slow, and deep. I would collect little things like: flowers from around the alter, (that Swami placed directly into my hand), rice, and on and on, extra Darshan that was said to be for our friends and family.  I remember looking into Swami's eyes and him smiling at me with a closed mouth, I instantly felt something from his gaze.  He smiled at me as if to say: thank you, good work, I feel it too, I know you, You have Amma inside you now... all of those things and more...

(Swami hand people extra tid bits)

    I spoke with different people and observed that everyone was as high as

me.  The ground we were walking on was purified to its most holy state, I could feel all that in the grass beneath my feet.  Doyle and I spoke and wandered back to my car.

 I have been forever changed from this, as in re-grown, and I'm still growing, as we all are.

 Gayatri told me about the importance of my name, and I recognize that Amma would not have given it to me if it was not time, or right, or whatever you might want to call it.  I already have many names, as I am sure many people do go by different things to different people.  It sure feels good to hear your name being called, whatever it may be.   The sense of relationship, of belonging, being with someone.  I have taken the name seriously, and look to grow into it effective immediately.

 To be continued…

Tyagaraja

and many other names

Jonathan

Jon' Baptiste'

Jonny P

J-Dub

J-town

Jep

Buddy

Bubba

Jon