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soulshine



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 29
Sign: Capricorn

City: NEW YORK
State: New York
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/3/2004

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 
i am making maps
of your mouth in my mind
building an umbrella
of memory to shield me
from the raining futility
of jingling stainless steel,
forks and knives in a metal torrent,
polished and rolled, stacked and served
dirtied, cleaned, and flung at me
by the ton, the truckful,
a mountain of silverware
i wade through, cursing,
sweating, polishing, rolling,
missing you

i hide behind your teeth
and chart the topography of your mouth
hiking from the crest
of your pale lip
to the crimson buds
on the tip of your tongue
the deep valley
behind your jaw
the tender place
where the wisdom tooth will come

take me home
into your mouth
consume me
& make me whole

-jm5.9
Thursday, April 02, 2009 

You may be undecided about your innermost needs today, making it difficult
to give a clear voice to your feelings. Someone else's unwillingness to
take a position can further exacerbate your condition. Make no mistake;
there are battle lines being drawn and yet there won't be any winners
in a conflict. You would be wise to start an open dialogue now, but
make certain that everyone is willing to compromise, or it won't work.

-----

You must walk a delicate line today between delving into serious feelings and agilely dancing around them. It's complicated because neither choice works as a
sensible strategy on its own; you must do both now. The dilemma is that
each approach seems to exclude the other. Nevertheless, you are being
required to learn a lesson about intimacy, even if you need to back
away from it at the right moment in order to gain much-needed
perspective.





Wednesday, February 25, 2009 
pure tangent to 
the undulating wave
of your life on this earth,
the photograph travels straight,
a linear compression of time,
hallucination made paper
were you ever that young
                    that pregnant
                         that happy
such a fiery thing,
flaming wrecks of photons
collide with silver halide ions
shattering electrons free
charring tiny silver grains
fixing that half smile forever
push your eye against the print
and it's just patterns, dark and light,
pebbles of grain
how do they stack up to build
that smile, that love in your eyes
memory is charred blackened meat
burnt paper, image rescued from crushing time
by permanent scarring violence
it's just a clock for seeing
a frame of fire
that puts my eye in the past
-jm2.9
Thursday, February 12, 2009 


fair warning:: if you suspect i might write poems about you, i would suggest not reading this here, because you might find it in a nicer form elsewhere. the rest of you, enjoy.







After the final Trumpet blows,
the scene at the gates is like
when the amusement park closes--
happy bedlam, people finding eachother
and filing past.

I'm just leaning against the Wall,
a toothpick in my mouth, waiting,
waiting to see you again.
Black hat, black coat, dark pants,
the black Chucks you bought me,
I fade into the shadows, except for my smile.

The millions stream past, not noticing,
but once in a while, a quick recognition--
a young guy in a toga, an old man in tweed,
someone who looks just like John Lennon--
they slide up next to me, take their place
against the Wall, waiting for their you.

A timeless fraternity of men who said
they'd wait forever,and meant it.
We watch the crowd together
each of us in our own private bliss,
torturing ourselves with memories & patience,
each a little fucked up outpost of Heaven,
waiting for the Jubilee, for Hell to open up
and release our yous to float up into our arms.

-jm2.9




Saturday, January 17, 2009 
Where are you going I don't mind
I've killed my world and I've killed my time
So where do I go what do I see
I see many people coming after me
So where are you going to I don't mind
If I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
So I will follow you wherever you go
If your offered hand is still open to me
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
So you've been where I've just come
From the land that brings losers on
So we will share this road we walk
And mind our mouths and beware our talk
'Till peace we find tell you what I'll do
All the things I own I will share with you
If I feel tomorrow like I feel today
We'll take what we want and give the rest away
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Holy man and holy priest
This love of life makes me weak at my knees
And when we get there make your play
'Cos soon I feel you're gonna carry us away
In a promised lie you made us believe
For many men there is so much grief
And my mind is proud but it aches with rage
And if I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one

--"strangers," by the kinks
Sunday, January 11, 2009 
Friday, January 09, 2009 
i always take a while to reflect and figure out resolutions. my birthday is mid january, so i feel free to take the time between the year's end and my year's end to meditate a little.

so here's something else, a thought that i had in the midst of that meditation.

here's the thing: i believe in luck. it's genetic, my moms always says 'we don't have good luck, we don't have bad luck, we just have luck.' when i explain it to people, i say 'as i walk down the road of life, my bad luck kicks me in the balls and leaves me staggering into oncoming traffic, and my good luck pushes me out of the way into a muddy ditch.'

so with that in mind, i will sometimes buy a scratch off ticket or two, not with any hope of winning, but to sort of soak up a little bad luck. i am not paying a dollar or five to get any return, i am doing it to try to protect my balls from my bad luck, just up around the bend.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009 

Listen-- the faucet
has rusted closed,
words only drip out
until the metal gives way,
squealing-- chunks
of rust color the sputtering
red briefly, but soon
a clear torrent will pour,
unstuck words flow
quickly, forcefully,
and you may miss
the comforting drip
of the rust-closed faucet.

The basin overflows, the rug
is ruined with mold and damp--
the flood is what we feared,
too much, too much, too much.

That's why we let our mouths
fill with rust, our jaws seize up
our cups run dry
but the pressure doesn't abate--
it pushes out through the eyes.

The tearduct on the upper lid
keeps us lubricated and dust-free.

The one on the bottom
keeps us from exploding.

-jm1.9

Sunday, December 28, 2008 
i am missing a couple of people pretty bad right now. i like to flatter myself that they are obsessively checking their cellphone to see if they missed a text or a call like i am, but i am pretty sure they are not.

i hate this.
Friday, December 05, 2008 
oh i will spend
my commission from
the central bank of nigeria
on you, my lovely.

there will be exotic orchids
all around your bed, and
we'll eat nothing but truffles
for a week, when the deal goes through

i will buy us a big car,
a cadillac, and drive it all night
till the sun rises at some
deserted virginia beach
and we'll make love quietly
to not wake the baby
as a new day breaks
over the cold atlantic

oh when the deal goes through
it'll be a whole new me
and a sweet happy you
when my money
from the central bank
of nigeria comes through

-jm12.8