DisembAudio wishes to send a merry X-Mas greeting to his adoring throng of fans. 

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=db1e482f267991c8c374d09G06122014

That is all.  There will be no encore and no autographs will be signed.

DisembAudio supplies the following discussion topics for you, the consumer:

Tuesday, 11/28 - Do the people who used to work on that cartoon show "Rocco's Modern Life" sit around hoping that someone will bring the show up so they can chime in that they worked on it, or if it ever got brought up, would they just keep quiet and pretend like they didn't know what the person was talking about?

Wednesday, 11/29 - At what point in time in one's life is it acceptable to begin using a first initial as part of your name, a la C. Thomas Howell?  If one of your friends attempted to make this change, would you respectfully comply with his wishes, or mock and deride his extreme pretentiousness?

Thursday, 11/30 - Aibo or Poo-Chi - Which robotic dog can truly be called robotic mans best friend?

Friday, 12/1 - Omarosa from the Apprentice:  When was the last time you saw or heard her mentioned?  How long will it be before a similar gap passes between encounters with the name Kevin Federline?

Saturday, 12/2 - Tiffany Brissette:  Seriously, does anyone have her number?

Sunday, 12/3 - The Red Panda - Isn't calling that thing a "Panda" sort of like making a Kia model called the Ferrari?  Has there ever been a greater difference in cuteness/huggability than the real panda and the Red Panda?

Monday, 11/20 - Honestly, in the world of downloadable audio entertainment sidekicks, how on earth does Karl Pilkington get a book deal before DisembAudio?

Tuesday, 11/21 - The book Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut:  How nice must it be to phone something in that egregiously?

Wednesday, 11/22 - Miles Standish - Would he have made it to second grade before changing his name in this day and age?  As a collary, would we think differently of him now if his name was coindicentally Miles Federline?

Thursday, 11/23 - How many people watch the Peanuts Thanksgiving special and wistfully think back to the day that they survived for entire college semesters by eating that exact same meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Friday, 11/24 - When people die by getting trampled in lines at a Walmart to try to buy a $600 Playstation 3, is DisembAudio a bad person for thinking, "Though I know nothing about that person, I am fully confident that the world is a better place now that this person is no longer living?"

Saturday, 11/25 - A Streetcar Named Desire:  All DisembAudio knows about this is what he has learned from the Simpsons.  Is that more, less, or exactly equal to how much you know about the play/movie?

Sunday, 11/26 - The band Kraftwerk - DisembAudio suggests that you erect massive statues in your town squares to them now, because once the machines take over, they're just going to make you do it anyways, except they'll be whipping you while you do it.  With this knowledge, does it make it easier or harder to get through the full version of "Autobahn"?

Please limit all discussions this week to the following topics:

Monday, 11/13 - Which member of the Wu-Tang Clan should have been replaced with DisembAudio in order to fully maximize the knowledge dropped by said Clan:  U-God or Masta Killa?

Tuesday, 11/14 - The fall of Tower Records - Is DisembAudio and his internal hard drive loaded with sweet soundboard FLAC recordings to blame?

Wednesday, 11/15 - Back in the late 70s, then President Jimmy Carter claimed to have been attacked while in his canoe by a vicious swimming rabbit.  DisembAudio and this rabbit have never been photographed together.  Discuss.

Thursday, 11/16 - DisembAudio's five pronged plan to eliminate the scourge currently plaguing kitchens across America known as the "Toaster Oven."  Graphic slides will be shown, discretion is advised.

Friday, 11/17 - Would viewers be interested in watch a remake of My Two Dads where DisembAudio plays both of the dads, except one of them has a moustache so you can tell them apart?

Saturday, 11/18 - DisembAudio used to date that voice on some peoples voicemail that says "To Leave A Callback Number, Press 5."  Has anyone actually ever left a callback number?  (PS.  That voice is a total skank.) 

Sunday, 11/19 - A guy DisembAudio knows has a bunch of "Free Kobe" T-shirts made during Kobe Bryant's trial a few years ago that he is looking to unload for pretty cheap.  Do you think that DisembAudio might be able to sell these on ebay to ironic minded college kids, or has it not been long enough for them to truly appreciate in ironic value?

Please limit all discussions this week to the following topics:

Tuesday, 11/7 - An evening with DisembAudio - we discuss his recent research into the Crimean War and the Presidency of John Tyler.  Pipe smoking permitted, cigars are politely discouraged.

Wednesday, 11/8 - Neutral Milk Hotel's "In the Aeroplane Vs. The Sea" - Perfect, or could it have been improved upon had DisembAudio participated?

Thursday, 11/9 - Friends had a whole bunch of guest stars towards the end of its run - Why no DisembAudio?

Friday, 11/10 - The Decalogue: A Viewing Party.

Saturday, 11/11 - DisembAudio prank calls Car Talk and pretends like he knows what the hell "Fuel Injection" is.  Wouldn't that be awesome?

Sunday, 11/12 - Are you ready for some football?  DisembAudio is!  Dis shares his "Lock of the Week" with his fans.  It's guaranteed* free** money***!

*guarantee = drunken assurance
**free = $4.95 per minute
***money = those tickets you win playing skeeball

I, DisembAudio, am now a member of MySpace. Does that make it DisembAudio's Space? Nevermind such trivialities.

For those of you wondering who DisembAudio is, please visit Mike Nelson's RiffTrax at www.rifftrax.com RiffTrax is a website where Mike Nelson mocks movies such as Top Gun, Road House and Crossroads in a downloadble commentary that you play on an MP3 player while watching the movie.  I, DisembAudio, provide assistence with the task of making sure that the movie stays in synch with the audio, ensuring that the jokes are enjoyed to their fullest potential.

The more important thing is that DisembAudio now has an altar at which you may worship. Please leave all messages and comments for DisembAudio below. DisembAudio will unlikely be able to respond due something about the sheer volume of requests DisembAudio gets. Even if DisembAudio were to get a major upgrade in my computing power, (Not likely when Nelson keeps jetting in guests with the money he should be spending on DisembAudio), it would not be enough to handle the mind boggling amount of fan artwork, messages, and appearance requests that my handlers forward on to me. DisembAudio will acknowledge the highlights of my fanmail here in my blog, and you should be delighted to get that much from DisembAudio.

-DisembAudio



P.S. DisembAudio.