That is "free Hulk" as in "I am offering you a free RiffTrax of an old Hulk episode," and not "the Hulk has been imprisoned - let's break him out."

It's all happening here. And did I mention it's free? It's like free beer, only it's, you know, the Hulk.

Once again, if you missed the earlier bulletin, all the fun is here:

The RiffTrax Blog

As I type this, an alarming video of Shatner is featured (is there any other kind) so you'll want to stop and watch, agog.

Some free fun is here.

    Once again, in case you missed it, all the fun is here now:
The RiffTrax Blog
If you need convincing, here's a picture of Joey Pants.

Hey, all. Everything I used to do here is now here. There will be frequent posts and I'll be joined by many old friends and some new ones, including Rifftrax team member Conor Lastowka. Do stop by, it would be ever so nice.

THE RIFFTRAX BLOG

The other day I offered what was to that point the most boring revelation on record, but I now believe I can top it: I just purchased a 10-pound bag of short-grain rice.

But, AHA, just when you thought your mind had nearly been shut down by the dreariness of that statement, I offer this fascinating side note - a banner on the bag proudly proclaims, "NO TALC!"

Hooray! There's no talc in my rice. Well, at least in this particular bag of rice. Apparently every other bag of rice I had to that point consumed (and they add up!) was loaded with "Shower to Shower." No wonder my innards seemed so fresh.

I will now shop for food products based on which indigestible, non-food additives they omit. I will look for spinach that has "NO SMALL BITS OF BROKEN CERAMIC!" and hamburger that is free of "STAPLES, WOOL AND BITUMEN!"

A thoroughly boring yet true confession: I've never been anything but unimpressed by Billie Holiday. The drug use, the prostitution, the entirely unattractive tendency to be portrayed by Diana Ross. Despite the ongoing contumely of a jazz-loving co-worker I held firm. But then about a year ago I pursued one of those recommendation chains on Amazon (from Lester Young, if I recall correctly) to Lady in Satin, her controversial 1958 album. (I was writing a book at the time, so I had hours of listening time on hand.) I was at first, frankly, repulsed. But then, as with Van Morrison's In the Days Before Rock and Roll, slowly was I beguiled. As has been proven with your Christina Aguilaras'es and your Britney Spears'es and your Mariah Careys'es, technical prowess has no correlation to the ability to create great art.

The point being I can now proclaim without the barest hint of shame that I love Dido, The Sundays, and especially, Sade. Yes, I will defend the position (provided you don't hit, or yell) that It's Only Love That Gets You Through is a 900 million times better song than the obviously technically superior Emotions by Mariah "Glitter" Carey.

And, despite the fact that her voice is nearly in ruins, her life was cleary in ruins, and her career was in doubt, Billie's Violets for Your Furs is a shattering work of art. Yes, it comes within a whisker of being as great as the greatest pop recordings of all time, Learnin' the Blues and I've Got You Under My Skin by, of course, Frank.

That's all I have to say. Your comments make me laugh (that is, those that I feel confident have the intent to make me laugh). It is my favorite thing in the world to laugh, so thank you.

In my last post, I inadvertantly left out the word "become" in the first paragraph. I hate myself more than you already hate me for leaving it out. And knowing how much you hate me, imagine how much I hate me! Please believe that I tried to edit the text but MySpace forbade it, insisting that by doing so I was somehow entering the incorrect date and time even though I had done no such thing. The upshot being, I invite to select a "become" from the list below and insert it into the offending text.

become

become

become

become

All right, so you've picked up on the trend - I post every so often apologizing for not posting. And what's wrong with that? I predict that, in the next few centuries, it will the literary equivalent of the letter. "My Dearest Barney, it is with heavy heart that I take keyboard underhand to inform you that I have not posted for some time because mother is so ill. Oh, Barney, how I wish you would Blackberry mother - she's so much kinder than used she to be in those sad, cold reckless days in Saint Petersburg."

Anyway, you can feel free to approach me and reproach me in San Francisco this Sunday and Monday, at the San Rafael Film Center (on Sunday) or Cobb's Comedy Club (on Monday) and I promise I'll take it like a man.

And in case you missed the RiffTrax article in the NY Times (which I guess is some rag in New York) you might have to search for it, 'cause the link is now a pay subscription. (pff, imagine paying for something on the internet.)

By the way, a lot of people have been asking upon which film we will be riffing in San Francisco this weekend. The clue: its main star has a Bacon Rating of 2, the connection being Sandra Bullock. I hope that helps.