So I've been reading from a number of sources about Obama's health bill. Needless to say, I have to raise an eyebrow to Republicans bringing armed-warfare into town-hall meetings. Really, America, are you that scared of a health care bill? I think for the first time in this first world country, providing unfortunate people with an alternative to NO health insurance is something that has been lacking in this country. That's the thing though: it's not like the government is proposing to do away with existing health care structures. They're just trying to provide an alternative to people that DON'T HAVE HEALTHCARE. So I don't get it. Why are people worked in a frenzy when if they have health care, they won't be purchasing this plan? And if you don't have health care, don't you want the opportunity to be able to see a doctor? I broke a rib and had a head injury and because I'm a freelance employee I don't have health care and haven't been able to see a doctor because I can't pay upfront. I'd love an affordable alternative. Of course, now that all the wealthy insurers are sensing their demise, they raise their rates...

So...I just completed something. I suppose I should relax but then there's the thing in the art world where you have to convince the world that you're actually worth something, even if you believe it to be true without question. Of course, wasn't I put here to do something? Surely at least my task is worth something. Have I made someone's day? Then maybe I've completed my task. I don't know, is seven months worth of work worth anything to capitalists and consumerists? My personal worth wrapped up subjective criticism? I feel like giving a big FUCK_YOU to that. You can bite my shiny metal ass. On another, less serious note, I saw the Dalai Lama online today. He faced the camera, with a slightly humorous, all-knowing smile. He must be a very intelligent man.

So i'm packing up my life into boxes, weeding through piles of paper, throwing away old notes and letters, selling furniture, until suddenly I am left with only my core possessions. Which mostly consists of music equipment and artwork, I'm finding out. I was actually thinking today about my grand return to California. And how it was suppose to be a return, but instead its the start of something completely different. It's funny how life works that way. It doesn't wait up for you, you can pretend that you might have some sort of grasp on stability but the truth of the matter is, everything that you are familiar with could vanish tomorrow. I was in NYC a few weeks ago. I had left my cellphone at the place I was staying and took the subway back to get it. When I got there, there was a huge fire in the building across the street. The entire top floor was burning up, and hundreds of people crowded in the streets under umbrellas watching the whole thing quietly (it was raining...). As the firefighters tried to put out the fire with a water hose, bricks hurled down from the top of the building on the street. As I walked into my building there were families huddled on the bottom floor talking in whispers. I could only wonder if their entire home, whatever they owned, had burnt to a crisp. Gone.

We carry around all these material goods with us. Like it will somehow convince us that because we have familiar objects in our lives that stability exists. You buy a house to have stability. You buy a car to get to work. Steady job, steady life. "Stability exists I tell you!" The way I see it, if I just accept the fact that my life are never going to be stable, then I can be OK with whatever blows my way. If I never become successful, if I lose everything I own, if I never marry, if I lose my hands, if I lose my voice, if I die tomorrow...I think everyday I can still wake up and say, "I'm OK with that."

This is my philosophy. It is still a work in progress as my life is still in progress. This is only one humble person’s opinion on life, and our purpose in it.

On Beism

I

To speak of God is not God. God has no name. God is not matter.
GOD IS A FORCE.
God is the connection. Everything is connected and we connect together through God.
This country upholds the value of the individual. The individual could not exist without the community. We all must recognize our dependence on other living beings, human and non-human.


II

The path is different for everyone.
Yet everyone has a path.
Everyone follows his or her own direction along the path.
Some make a beeline towards the end of the path.
Others wander, zigzagging about in a tangential fashion.
Still others stand quietly, undecided about where to go next.


III

The path has a goal and a way.
The way is our suffering and our joy.
The goal is our potential and our transcendence.
The way is just as essential as the goal.
What you seek is just as important as how you get there.


IV

What you seek on the path is what you are meant to seek.
By seeking we find fulfillment.
All living things seek purpose.
If purpose is obscured, one can become unhappy.
To the nihilist I say, I have purpose, therefore I choose to exist.


VI

As humans we try to define reality. There is no absolute reality that exists outside of our perception. Our perception is reality. There are an infinite number of realities that have been, that are, and that will be. Our reality comes into contact with other realities. The connection. God. God connects all reality together. We are not trapped in a bubble, isolated from the world. We are a part of infinite universal network and are connected to it. God sees all connection simultaneously. To see all connection is to know God. Everyone has the potential to know God.


VII

Everything has an opposite.
These opposites co-exist.
These opposites are not absolutes.
There are no absolutes.
These opposites are limits. They are two sides of the same coin.
They are yin and yang, male and female, good and evil.
They do not exist as pure extremes.
In every good, there is some evil.
In every evil, there is some good.


VIII

Find balance between co-existing opposites.
Balance is seeing both opposing sides equally at the same time.
Balance is seeing all opposing pairs at the same time.
To find true balance is to achieve a heightened state of mind.
Most of the time we oscillate between opposites.
For example, we have faith in order to deal with chaos.
But chaos exists so that there is also order. One can not be removed from the other.
We must embrace both of these things.


IX

Thinking in terms of an "us" and a "them" is destructive to one’s sense of self.
To embrace everything is the same as embracing oneself.
Because we are all connected, we must all be respectful of one another.
Tolerance is necessary for the survival of all.


X

God does not exist for humanity.
God is not my God.
God exists just as we exist.
I am being. I seek to be.

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jj5iNqh5rolHXnTDn9_gGm4o5-8wD8U25IPG0

So I was reading an article today that said NH has the highest voter turnout in its state history on tuesday. I, like many of my peers, stood in long lines to vote, a small feat though it may be. But 500,000 votes! I am really impressed. It is important that the youth of this country make stand for what they believe in, and finally, it seems like people are starting to show initiative about who they want to lead us as a nation, no matter who that may be for them. Although I'm sure the 8 years of Bush has been a factor...

I had to run around for over an hour on tuesday trying to figure out where I was suppose to vote (I am a new voter to this state). I was cutting it close to class time, as I ran around to Hanover, Lebanon city hall, and the methodist church which was my voting center. But that night, watching the votes come in, all I could feel was pride to be part of the something. I never really thought about it before, but I guess that's what patriotism is all about: trying to make your country a better place.

Check out this video: Carmen singing at the electrocab show



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