How many times have you had that dream where you're on stage and you're about to sing but you don't know what the song is and then, when the song begins, you don't know the words?

Once a week? Me too. Weird.

Regardless. We discovered that the people who come to Coreyoke have BALLS OF SUPER STEEL and here's how. Coreyoke began a new tradition tonight at On The Rox: Kamikaze Coreyoke.

You sign up, walk up on stage and sing a song SOMEONE ELSE HAS PICKED OUT FOR YOU.

Kamikaze Coreyoke is a lot like that dream except:

1. YOU'RE NOT NAKED
B. YOU HAVE THE WORDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. DOI!!!

We hope to figure out some way to make it so you ARE naked*, but until we can get that happening, we'll make do with a Kamikaze Coreyoke section of the show.

The crowd tonight (three's a crowd, right? right) went for Kamikaze Coreyoke for the entire set and that is why we continue to say PEOPLE WHO LOVE COREYOKE ARE THE COREY-EST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!!

See you sooner than you think.

Corey on!

ETC-Embrace The Corey
...or it will forever dominate your life...


*yes we do want to see you naked. shush. we don't care. you're better naked and you know it.

Thanks in part to us being completely and utterly awesome and another part to our pimp, Trixie Racer, we're going to be doing a show 9-11:59pm each and every Monday night,until the end of time at On The Rox.

Where is On The Rox?

It's the club above the Roxy, you motard. You've never heard of it because you've never been cool enough to be invited. Well. Now you know us. Now you're totally cool.

This is your Monday night schedule.

5-8pm: Lucas and/or License to Drive screening.
8-8:30pm: Letting your friends and parole officer that you'll be at On The Rox at 9pm.
8:45pm: Show fake ID to bouncer.
8:47pm - Sign up to sing "Walking On Sunshine" give Corky Nemec - the sound guy $20 because you feel sorry for him
9:15 - Sing "Walking On Sunshine"
9:19 - 11:59pm: have sex in bathroom with all the people who saw you sing "Walking On Sunshine"

12:00am - Sneak in to Metal Skool at The Key Club. Make out with Corey Feldstein in Key Club women's restroom.

We have the best time every Monday. You fine folks who show up and get up and sing are awesome. It's so cool how everyone is having a blast. That's one of our goals; to make everyone comfortable enough to come up and get their rock on.

You totally rule. Each and every one of you.

Except you. Yes. You. Stop being a dick. Don't think we don't notice!

See you in aught eight. It looks like a very cool thing is going to be happening.

Then we'll be too cool, become parodies of ourselves, make the same mistakes all over again, alienate each and every one of you and then come crawling back.

Ahh wellll... a brother can dream, right?

Right.

Happy Newtonmas.

our friend, dean cameron, is performing his amazing show, The Nigerian Spam Scam Scam, saturday, december 16th, 10pm, at the upright citizens brigade theater in hollywood.

the theater's at 5919 Franklin avenue. Right across from the scientologists.

We totally rocked your ass at the The Joint. But... We didn't rock ass enough to make it worth our while to rock your ass.

So... We're going to wait until the new year and see if we can get more people at the The Joint.

We need money for blow and to take Ginger Lynn and 15 of her closest friends to Hawaii.

Me, Myself & I!!!!!

We had an amazing first show at the Joint last night. We weren't the most famous people on stage, though. Jimmy Fallon got up and sang a bunch of songs as did Barry Sobel, who is a writer for Saturday Night Live and a great comedian, as well.

And, true to Coreyoke form, one woman who refused to even think about setting foot on stage at the beginning of the night got up and sang Billie Jean and totally ruled.

We also had Allison get up not once but 2 times and totally rule the ass of everything and everyone.

Here's the deal though: We have to get more people there or the The Joint will rip our balls off and stuff them up someone's pooter. And none of us want that, right?

So come next week and bring a friend. It is free and beer is only 2 bucks. Ask Jimmy Fallon. He had a lot of it!

I mean, where else can you see Slap Hapenin' Harry sing an impromptu version of Dio's "The Last In Line" all the while texting his girlfriend?

Only at Coreyoke, dude!