Hola, Kiddies.

The first new song by C&JX in around 2 years is up...well, a demo anyway.  There's also a video for it in the works.  That song?  The Jesus Hammer.  You may have already read about it in another blog I did (which I'll paste into here).  I'm also happy to announce that my new page on Cafepress is open!!!  There you will soon be able to buy my books (The first will be "The Customer is NOT Always Right:  A Guide to Shopping Without Being an A$$hole!") and many other items including Jesus Hammer hats, shirts, bumper stickers and other assorted goodies.  They all include the Jesus Hammer Logo Which can be seen in my pics and/or music player...can't get the thing to show up in here....and cool sayings such as:

   Hammering out your sins since '33

   Building a Better World Since '00  

   If he can't fix it, no one can

   Jesus doesn't fear Chuck, He created Chuck

   Even He can't fix your face!

   and many more... Some of them are already available...the rest and more will be soon.  The page is http://Cafepress.com/socialleperboy

 And here's the original blog for those of you who suck.

You've all seen the Jesus Fish.  It's everywhere.  Riding around on car bumpers.  Walking by on T-shirts and buttons.  Being immitated by the (I must say, AWESOME) Darwin lizard.  Jesus would be -- or should I say SHOULD BE -- proud.  But, is he?  Well, we may never know.  And, that isn't what this blog is about.  This blog is about the fish.  The Jesus Fish.

   This symbol has always puzzled me.  First off because...well...it's a fish.  Hardly a symbol worthy of such a figure.  I get the point that people ate a lot of fish back then as the Big Mac and Whopper had yet to be invented; but, is that any reason to adopt it as the secondary symbol for your religion?  I further undertand, back then, that Christians were being persectuted and had to hide their beliefs, playing the "You draw the upper half of the fish in the sand, I'll draw the lower" game.  But, was the fish even theirs to draw?  And, wouldn't a cross have been just as easy for two people to draw in the sand?  The answers are no and yes.  No, because, like many other symbols, holidays, etc, etc, the fish symbol was around long before the Christians began taking it over (see Ancient Greeks, Japanese, etc).  Yes, because the fish has two sides and the cross has two lines.  And they're straight.  And straight lines are easy to draw.  So, actually, it would have been even easier to draw then a fish...But, I digress.  My point is that it's not even really an original (or creative) symble.

   Jesus (whether you really believe, or simply liked the book) died for all man's sins in a pretty unpleasant mannor (See Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ).  This explains the sign of the crucifixion, but does little to support the fish argument.  Were it up to me, Jesus would have a symbol befitting what he did, what he accomplished.  I racked my brain trying to come up with something worthy of the man who gave the world a clean slate and could come up with only one that really worked, but also harkened back to the Old testament, God fearing, Angels as assassins, slightly more cruel and unusual, turn you into a pillar of salt, God/Jesus.  What I landed on (besides a stroke of true genius)...or, rather, what landed on me, was the Hammer. 

  First, Jesus WAS a carpenter.  (Check).  Second, hammers are used to not only hammer things in (Check), but also stamp things out (Check).  Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the new sign (and slogan) for all of Christianity.......

The Jesus Hammer...Hammering out your sins (Registered Trademark).

Each and every one of the following sounds kills.  If you make them, you should be killed.  Each and every time you make one of them, an Angel dies.  Do you want Angels to die?  Do you enjoy killing Angels?  Does your bloodlust include cherubs?  Or just adult Angels?  It's a trick question...these sounds don't descriminate.  Stop making them, Angel killer. 

Flip flops. If you walk in flip flops and it makes noise, you don't know how to walk in flip flops.  Please stop.  You're an idiot.  Also, depending upon how many steps you take, and how many flip flop noises you make, you're killing some of God's best.  Bastard.  In related news, a new study says that most people really don't know how to walk in them and it's causing serious leg and foot issues.  Thank God.  See?   He does care.  God's fighting back.

Gum popping.  This could actually be the most ignorant sound ever.  Add that to the fact that there's simply no logical reason for it to exist and you begin to realize how mind-numbingly stupid the people who do this really are. 

Ending a Question with the word "at".  Example:  I say the following statement to you:  "I just got a new job."  You say, "Where at?"  You're a moron.  Not only are you ending your sentence with a preposition, but you're adding something entirely extra.  Just say "Where?"  That's all you need.  What possible reason could you have to add the extra word?  Don't try to answer.  There isn't one.  And, while this isn't a "sound" persay, I have to listen to it so it counts.  Unless you want more Angels to die needlessly, please discontinue this practice immediately.

Chewing with your mouth open.  Do I even need to explain this one?!?!  (Please note:  This also looks rediculously horrid.  Knock it off).

Nextel Walkie Talkie Phones.  How do I even begin.  These, quite possibly, were invented by the Devil himself.  I believe Nextel is derived from the Ancient Greek "Nextel"; meaning Next Hell.  Don't quote me on that, but I'm sure it's close.  I don't know which is worse...that frickin' beepie sound or that all voices sound like they're coming out of fast food speakers.  Either way, the Angels lose.  Get a real phone you savage. 

More to come...

   This symbol has always puzzled me.  First off because...well...it's a fish.  Hardly a symbol worthy of such a figure.  I get the point that people ate a lot of fish back then as the Big Mac and Whopper had yet to be invented; but, is that any reason to adopt it as the secondary symbol for your religion?  I further undertand, back then, that Christians were being persectuted and had to hide their beliefs, playing the "You draw the upper half of the fish in the sand, I'll draw the lower" game.  But, was the fish even theirs to draw?  And, wouldn't a cross have been just as easy for two people to draw in the sand?  The answers are no and yes.  No, because, like many other symbols, holidays, etc, etc, the fish symbol was around long before the Christians began taking it over (see Ancient Greeks, Japanese, etc).  Yes, because the fish has two sides and the cross has two lines.  And they're straight.  And straight lines are easy to draw.  So, actually, it would have been even easier to draw then a fish...But, I digress.  My point is that it's not even really an original (or creative) symble.

   Jesus (whether you really believe, or simply liked the book) died for all man's sins in a pretty unpleasant mannor (See Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ).  This explains the sign of the crucifixion, but does little to support the fish argument.  Were it up to me, Jesus would have a symbol befitting what he did, what he accomplished.  I racked my brain trying to come up with something worthy of the man who gave the world a clean slate and could come up with only one that really worked, but also harkened back to the Old testament, God fearing, Angels as assassins, slightly more cruel and unusual, turn you into a pillar of salt, God/Jesus.  What I landed on (besides a stroke of true genius)...or, rather, what landed on me, was the Hammer. 

  First, Jesus WAS a carpenter.  (Check).  Second, hammers are used to not only hammer things in (Check), but also stamp things out (Check).  Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the new sign (and slogan) for all of Christianity.......

The Jesus Hammer...Hammering out your sins (Registered Trademark).

Hola.

The Chet & Jenny Experience has entered a contest for the band Alkaline Trio.  The rules.  Record a new song from their upcoming CD, due out in July, upload a video of your recording to youtube, win a chance to meet the band backstage, jam with them on the song, and get your video up on their webpage. Of  course, they only provided sheet music, so no one knows what the song is really supposed to sound like.  Their judging vids on originality, creativity and a bunch of other criteria.  While I will eventually put mine up on myspace, if you'd like to see it now and/or give me some love and some good comments, here's a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qu72tZJk4s .  also, if you'd like to see some of the other entries, you can go here http://www.youtube.com/group/settlethescore

The contest ends June 6th.  Wish me luck!  Peace.  Love.  Keith.

It's that time again, kiddies.  I've got something to get off my chest.  I'm tired of our dumbed down society making the most insane things acceptable.  I could give you three million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and thirty three examples.  Could, but won't.  I shall give you but one.  The Boston Celtics.  If you just read the last statement as "The Boston Seltics," then this blog is for you.  The correct pronunciation is a "ck" sound, not an "s."  Now, don't go googling this.  The English started using the "s" sound and it slowly became acceptable...but, so did "ain't."  Remember getting yelled at as a child for using that one?  Me, too.  Another good example is the word "bury."  So many people said this word wrong that they've actually added a pronunciation to new dictionaries.  You bury something, you don't barry it.  But, I digress.  This is about the Seltics.  I'm willing to make a deal with you.  You can have the Celtics or the Seltics.  Pick one.  However, if you pick Seltics, then please be aware that your choice will have further ramifications.  These new rules which you would be setting in place would have no choice but to carry over to other Boston teams.  That said, say good bye to the Boston Red Sox; say hello to the Boston Red Cox.  Yes, it's the same rule in reverse.  I kinda like the new name.  I'm hoping you make the right decision.  Oh, and go Yankees.  Peace.  Love.  Keith.

Keith has pneumonia.

Pneumonia sucks balls.

Keith has lost 7 pounds since thursday.

Keith fainted yesterday and hit his head.  strangley, he also managed to sprain one of his toes.

Keith predicted the Giants would be in the Superbowl from week one.

Keith wants to join the Oreo Double Stuff Racing League....ya know, once he starts eating again.

Keith is tired of typing.

Monday Night Video Girl, the Animated Video has been posted!  Check it out in my video section...

Here's the synopsis...

The Chet and Jenny Experience brings you the continuing adventures of Stick Keith and Bruce Willis as they battle Keira Knightly and Matthew McConaughey.  Derek Jeter and the Yankees need their help!  Are Big Papi and Manny all they seem?  Will Stick Keith finally meet his Monday Night Video Girl?  Or will saving the world get in the way?  Learn the real story of how Stick Keith and Savana not only met...but saved the world.

Hola!

I just posted a ton of pics from the wedding, reception, & Disney.  They're on my personal page...Just click the keith in my friends list if you'd like to check them out...he's number one down there. 

For those of you who were there, you know how much fun it was...and how beautiful Savana was (and I cleaned up pretty good myself...lol).

Feel free to leave some love.

There's more coming...much, much, more.  And, as soon as I get all of the rest back and figure out where I'm going to post them, I'll let you know so you can have some of your fine selves, etc, etc.
 
Peace!

Keith