I hate my job. My boss is an ass and every time i go to work i want to cry. I need a new job but i can't find one. So I'm stuck in this hell hole and can't escape. I have an ex who keeps trying to convince me that me cares and that he has changed. Yet every time he talks to me he just wants to know who i'm with or where i've been he never asks me how my day was or how i'm doing. i just need a new life. anyone want to trade?

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Where to start? Today has become an awful day. What I wouldn't give to go back to last year and start this all over. How does this happen? How does something so wonderful turn into me having to change my number so your new girl doesn't call me and scream at me? How can two people love each other so much but not be able to be together. I wish he could change and I'm sure he is wishing I could change. I guess I did the right thing proven by the fact he is already over it. I should be to. He never listened to me to what I needed. He had a temper tantrum like a two year old. I want to eventually have kids not marry one and if he can freak out over something so stupid to his mom he will do it to me. He never could give me any space. Needed to know what I was doing at all times. He was jealous of my friends. I just fall in love with losers. I can't spend my life trying to fix someone else’s self esteem I spent a year trying to pick him up make him feel good about himself and it’s a pointless task it never works. It never could. Unless he grew up, stopped thinking about himself all the time, made time for his friends as well as his girlfriend, learned to love himself, and stopped thinking about all the stuff he didn't have and didn't get it could never work. He never appreciated anything and I’m so tired of trying to be everything for him. No one can change that much and it isn't fair for me to ask that of him. I hope he finds someone who can love him for every part of him. And I need to do the same. It’s time for me to go live my own life. It’s time to move forward without looking back. It’s time to get over it.

Recently i have been surrounded by people lacking common sense at the movies. Here is a short list of things you really shouldn't do at the movies:

1. Bring your dog

2. Take off your shoes and socks and put your stinky feet on the seat next to someones head.

3. Dangle your flip flops off your feet next to someones head.

4. Pretty much anything involving your feet next to someones head

5. Did i mention BRING YOUR DOG!

6. bouncing, kicking, or any other motion that causes the persons chair in front of you to move.

7. Answering your phone.

8. letting your kids play tag around the seats.

9. Letting your kids pull a strangers hair.

10. Playing with lasers, (unless your funny, which you probably aren't)

11. Choosing a new ring tone. 

Please help spread the common sense.

I remember everything.
i wish i didn't.
When i'm alone i think about him
Really i think about him all the time.
i think about all the fun we had and the shows we used to watch and how wonderful it all was
But like i said i remember everything.
I remember the tears and the pain and the lies most of which were mine
i remember the shame and the way i felt when i read thoes things he said to her.
I remember giving too much and it never was enough.
So why do i miss him?
why do i wish more than anything to be near him again.
Why do i still feel the pain.
Why can't i forget.

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/12202/
So long story short my dad had me do this interview for his newspaper and it got published so ya. I really had no idea what i was talking about for the record but its still kinda cool.

I despise all the lies in my life. The lies that are necessary to survive. The lies I tell to the people who want me to be something I am just not. The lies I tell to you. I hate lies. I hate that they are so much a part of my life. I hate that there is only one person I don't have to lie to. One person who knows and loves me for me. It’s so hard to keep everything straight. It’s so tiring to not be me with the people that supposedly love me for me. The truth is that everyone has something that they deem unforgivable. Something they hate because of stereotypes, or mixed up beliefs. Whatever yours is that’s me. I know who I am very well I am not mixed up or confused. I am always me. Just sometimes I have to be a 'you friendly' version of me. So just tell the truth. Simple right, easy. I would lose almost all the people who are most important to me. That’s the truth. So fuck them right? If they can't love you for you then fuck that. It’s not that easy. It never is. Would I rather be all alone and honest or would I rather have to spend all my time keeping up these lies to keep the people I am close to happy and content. This is what keeps me up at night. This is why I am so tired all the time.

is it the winter blues?
Is it knowing i am losing you?
You lie to me
I know you do
Why?
If you want to be without me just let me go
Don't keep me hanging on in pain
its perfect with you but when your gone
You call other girls beautiful
You have other girls in your bed
i feel sad
I feel sad and you don't listen
you tell me I shouldn't be jealous
Maybe Its more than that
Maybe some part of me knows somethings not right
Maybe my mind is trying to tell me something my heart doesn't want to hear
maybe you are already gone
maybe i should let go
I deserve better
I deserve devotion
love
trust
so if i know that why?
Why did i let this happen
why am i me

Lost inside myself

Lost without you

Why do you get to be happy?

Why am I the only one in pain?

I am the victim

You are the guilty one

How easy it was for you to move on

To leave me here

lost

I want to hate you

I don't want to miss you

I don't want to love you

To be seen

To be wooed

Candy

A better job

To be understood

My own place

Peace

Love

To find my prince

To be loved

To be chased

To be wanted

A drink

Sleep

To be kissed

Cookies

The end of the trial

To go to a party

To get answers

Meet my soul mate

To know why.

My best friend

To get dressed up

To dance.

I still hear your voice in the dark

I can still taste your blood.

I still miss the old you

I still love who you once were

and I still hate myself for it

I still want you to pay for what you did and no a simple apology won't work.

I still want to you to understand that i will never be the same

I don't want you dead.

I still have trouble sleeping

and I still can't go an entire week without tears

but I can smile

I can be happy

I can be sad

and its ok

I can be me though i don't know who that is right now

I can be anything i want to be

I will not let you win

I will not back down

I saved her that night.

I will save her from you.