..Or at least time to express myself. Aetheric-shade has sat untouched for over a year now. I don't think there have been words for the horribleness I went through. The pregnancy was bad, birth even worse, but that was only because the hospital staff was a bunch of morons. I haven't paid up my hospital bills. I'm thinking of calling their billing center and demand that if I can punch the one nurse in the face that hurt me, I'll pay all that shit then and there. Or maybe I can send them a video of me burning "Fuck You money".

I need something besides Warcraft that I can utilize as an outlet. I need to start writing again. Before -  it didn't matter what I was writing about, didn't matter what insane words I made up - writing made me feel better. Hell I hardly get to play Warcraft. Whoever said there should be 24 hours in a day must not have been a mother. Cuz damn it, there should be time to wear the kid out with Airplaaaane, kill Alliance in battlegrounds (die scum!), and watch Supernatural (have you been watching the awesomeness that is Supernatural?!).

These are the things I like to do. I've got to have something to keep my mind off of the awfulness of the economy right now. We've got to have some kind of hope, right?

And Dennis was right. It's time I ditch Central. I've finally realized that everything I've done doesn't matter. In the long run it's about the money that the owner makes. He doesn't care about us like his brother or whoever did. It used to be a company that cared. Used to be. I've got to let go of this fear of trying something new. Because that's what it boils down to. All these fears I've got to face or I'm going to become a shriveled, miserable old bat. With like 95 cats. And a rat dog.

So yeah. I think I'm going to look for full time jobs as well.

x-posted from Facebook.

I never thought that the company where I've worked for the past ten years would knock me back down to part-time. But that's what happened on Friday. All the clerical in our company is now part-time. I can understand that, what with the economical woes right now, but to take away our benefits too? I've applied at Petco (of all places!) and Fed Ex. Last night I went to a Hub Recruitment. It was kind of horrible - boring and it took forever. They do everything: job application, drug test, fingerprint (wtf?), and interview. Anyone looking to get into the night sort (which is what I went for) has to be able to work between 10 pm and 5 am. I'm a night owl anyway, so if I do get hired on, hopefully I can get the shift closer to when my shift at Central ends. It just pisses me off thinking about all the shit I've gone through at Central, everything I've done there, only to be told what an unimportant asshole I am. There were times I would be at my home - at MIDNIGHT - dispatching drivers to make sure everything got picked up. One such occasion was back on September 30th of last year. We had forty loads to pick up from one customer. None of the supervisors took control - it was up to me. I stayed at work til midnight asking drivers if they would mind working over the legal 14 hour limit. The customer kept in contact with me on my cell. I was still dispatching from home until 1 am. The next morning NO ONE said "thank you for making sure everything got picked up." No one except the customer, who said because of that kind of service, they really enjoyed working with our company. Yet now I can only work six-and-a-half hours a day. It wouldn't be so bad if the house note wasn't almost 500 dollars a month. And with a baby, I've got to have some kind of insurance. I don't want to be like all the other shitbags on welfare. All I can do is hope things will get better - for everyone. After all, if you think about it, we're all in this together.