heres some rib ticklers for all you working stiffs

 

Q: What's Garfield's least favorite band?

A: the Happy Mondays

 

Q: What's the Fonz's favorite Radiohead album?

A: Kid Aaaaay!

 

Q: How many Land Before Rhyme members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 3; one to screw in the lightbulb, two to tell him he's doing it wrong! 

Yes, it is true.  May their fiery-hot singles and boyish charm go down in history, and may all the haters retire to a deadly tarpit as well. 

A myspace exclusive version of Ready Or Not is now up for listening. The official version is expected to be released sometime midsummer with all-new vocals that don't sound like Spongebob Squarepants doing an Ian Curtis impression.

Oh shit! Another enterprising forum member has cut our band down afew pegs! This fellows name is "GREG" and we met on the I Love the 80's forum. After I started a topic called "I hate the 80's: They were Shit", Greg was furious (!) and responded thusly: "You wanna know what else is shit? Derivative lo-fi indie rock by bands with incredibly stupid names that reference kids' movies! At least we just reminisce about shitty music here on this group page rather than make shitty music ourselves. Good luck on Sub Pop, shitwit; I'm sure the early 90s revival is right around the corner. In the meantime, have fun furiously wanking away in futility on indie rock's shriveled, limp irrelevant dick." Will do, Gregbuster!

Recently, I've taken to gently teasing Sonic Youth fans on in their Myspace Group Forum. After posting that my favorite SY album was called "Pizza Crap", a young man named "EVIL ROBOT 2001" had this to say in rebutall: EVIL ROBOT 2001 M/16 CAVE CREEK, ARIZONA Instant Message Send Message Posted: Apr 20, 2005 8:58 PM "Whoa, everybody, lookout, Mr. Funny Guy has come to town! I've noticed you've been making alot of posts on this board lately that are super-hilarious! Or at least they would be if you guys weren't dumbasses, wrote in coherent manner, and made jokes that didn't sound like they were written by knuckle-dragging clod with an elementary school education. Before you let loose with another burning example of your rapier-sharp wit, let me say this: not only does your music suck ass (it sounded like the kind of music you'd rape a child to. And who is the bitch "singing?" I use this term loosely because I've heard better sounding noises in a pig slaughterhouse), but furthermore, you are in desperate need of a lobotomy. I know this probably bought me a bulletproof insult including the phrase "pizza crap, " but that's a chance I'm willing to take, as you neither have the mental capacity, nor the language skills necessary to make a rebuttal to this without sounding like a complete moron. Although I know the prospect of posting hilarious material you heard in your 4th Grade art class is too delicious to pass up, but please SHUT THE HELL UP. No one cares about your lame ass music or your lame ass insults so just go back to picking your ass on your rented couch all day, looking for a job that a robot will inevitably replace you at." Loves it!

Oh goodness, did anyone else see Jeff Goldblum on Conan? It was really funny. PS. Battle of the Bands update: Fuck battle of the bands.

What's Hap'n, Cap'n? Thanx to all who came out to the show on Monday, it was a Blast from the Past (starring Brendan Fraser and Alicia Silverstone). We were up against some very stiff () competition, but if we all use our U.M.F (united mental force) and keep a P.M.A (positive mental attitude) maybe we'll even make it to finals. No matter what, it was a great experience and we hope to play many more shows around the Calgary area in the future, so keep your eye out and your dix in your pants. TTFF, TF

The official timeslot for our debut performance has been announced; we are playing Monday April 11th at lunch in the GYM. This means we will be kicking off the entire Battle, and we hope to see all your fresh faces in attendance. In addition, we're planning on having an EP available for purchase (at a modest price) during the show, so make sure to bring all your money.