so, i WAS laying in bed 2 minutes ago before my mind started to wonder... then of course it went from the cool (movie ideas, places i want to travel in the near future) to the dread money situation.

i'm officially freaking the fuck out now.

let me lay down what happens when you're a PA not working and not at all prepared for down-time.

1. fear of leaving the house -- because you WILL spend money. I WILL spend money. it'll just happen. even if it's wasting gas to drive to Venice Beach (...and all it's bullshit) to just walk around for the day and chill. you will find a way to spend at lease $30. it's lame.

2. craigslist. applying for jobs online sucks. thats your last resort when your only contacts are also jobless. freak out level hightens.

3. rent. it's bullshit. it must happen in this adult world. but it's bullshit.

4. the phone calls. the evil bill collectors -- in my case. they don't care how you get money, but those loansharks take their money personally. as if you borrowed directly from the person you're on the phone with. they need to calm down. as soon as i mention the strike and how basically no one is working in hollywood -- i remember they don't give a damn, and they'll tell you too. (average of calls i get a day, that i "ignore" is 12, 8 of them leave messages -- annoying to delete, trust.)

5. cabin fever. this is really part of 1, but not really. due to the fact that i've run out of money. there's no where to go -- it's kinda funny really. i almost wish i was still in that shadey apartment (sublet) in Mar Vista with the baby smell, paint on the carpet and ugly finger paintings on the walls. at least i'd have something to stare at unlike this new place with no smell besides the boheimian inscents, clean new carpeting and freshly painted walls. bastards. i'm scared to do anything most of the time because i was a weird kid when i was alone back in the day. went through lots of matches and lighters. but that's another hilarious story involving arson.

6. okay, so this is the time where you should be creative. you have all this free time after calling everyone you know 5 times (for work) and applying for craigslist jobs. time to write a script. time to read a script. time to do SOMETHING. but damn that if i'm working for free -- people out here won't even pay for gas/mileage on their shitty little shorts. and i mean shitty. if the script was awesome, and someone asked for my input i'd be down -- but not so much here. i'm not wasting gas on you sir, i just wont...... but i have been writing, something i think that'll be awesome. i'm excited, fake enthusiasm for me.

(note. just right now i heard something that sounded like a gun shot)

8. insomnia. i'm not working. so i have all this damn energy on reserve. and i'm not motivated to sleep because i have nothing to do the next day. yeah, about that. shit that sounds like gun shots doesn't help.

7. i totally had something to write here, but that gun shot kinda freaked --

(note. police sirens. i'm cutting this short and going to sleep on the floor, i'm not going out by stray bullet)

peace love and soooooooooouuuuuuul,
deadpan jonny aka tall bastard aka cloverfield

8. Kirsten Dunst. when a semi talented not so attractive millionare actress gives you the stank eye while you're both waiting on line at the starbucks about to go to your low paying gig... that shit'll ruin your day... because you'll get arrested for trying to yank out some dumb broads snaggle teeth. hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate.

-- mock my spelling mistakes and i'll tell you to suck it, suck it lolli. its 4:20am, screw off. --

it's official. i'm done. it's a freakin' wrap. no more damn production reports. my last time card handed in... it's all over.

good-bye 'ice 44' (now known as 'Untitled Gehenna Project') paperwork. it's been real... a little too real.

i'd cry if i didn't remove my tear ducts with a hot poker when i was 4.

peace,
j

p.s.
seriously, amy, what kind of fuckery is this?

p.p.s.
frank, you gotta be fuckin with me.. i'm not having a good time. stop asking!!!!

p.p.p.s.
aight, huey, put the new drug down

So yeah, I saw Turistas a couple weeks ago. Well maybe a month ago when I was still living in San Diego and before Susie went all teenager and started calling Elle a whore. Thaaaat bitch. Back to the movie...

...it's basically the same thing as TDM, so I'm not writing it. Another movie idea I was excited about crushed by some lame film. The diretor for said film better bring his a-game if they give his ass another chance on a film. P.O.S.

Sorta...

Half of the shit on my profile changed, music artists were added, me not wanting kids, me being a swinger (i fuckin wish), etc.

Anyway, just wanted to vent about that. Fuckers.

And who the hell is viewing my profile and not leaving comments? Pussies!

So yeah. This car I've only had for maybe 5 months is going to cost me more than I thought.

Monthly payments are effin high as all hell.

Last thursday, which should have been an awesome day -- since I finally got to work Veronica Mars (PA) -- started out pretty shitty.

1) My BlackBerry reset itself, so my alarm clock didn't wake me up on time. I was 20 minutes late. Good thing the 2nd AD whom I was supposed to report to could have cared less. Thanks Mr. James Epstein.

2) I always roll my window down when I first get in the car, it's a good 10 minutes from the house to the high way and I like to get as much fresh air in my face in the morning.

I finally reach the exit for I-15 when I try to roll my window up (power windows). It's taking it's sweet time going back up. Weird. It stops at the half way point. I repress the button and then BAM!!!! The window SHOOTS up, closing, scaring the shit out of me. Not literally, but you know what I mean.

The whole time on I-15 I'm keeping my eye on the window. Then slowly, but surely it starts to make it's way open. By the time I get to the stage it's halfway open.

The day goes pretty well, and since I'm missing that gene in which I really worry about things longer than 30 mins, I forget it even happens. We wrap and I have Paul walk with me to the car, just in care it's missing and I have to call the cops. C'mon, I'm from White Plains -- Gangstaville, 15 mins from Murderville, I know how people roll.

So yeah, I get to my car and it's all the way down.

Flashfoward to today, a day after I've dropped it off at Rancho Jeep Dealership and all their bullshit. I get a call, and estimate. Damn near 700 bux to fix my fucking window and for a service. WTF?!?!

Someone send me money! Someone make me a strong drink! Someone buy me some vicodin, I'm running out!

I'm about to get  fucking bike and call it a day.

So since the shows are cancelled I've started writing. It only took me a month of unemployment to get my shit together and get motivated.

It's called their delicate materials. It's going to be a short. It's going to be good times... not for the people in the story, but for the reader/viewers. And that's what matters.

Fuck! I love music. It's 3:05am (it'll be later by the time I finish writing this).

I've spent the last 2 hours listening to DJs on MyDamnSpace. Everything from 80s Club to Euro Lounge to Trip Hop/Blues/Dance Hybrids to Hip Hop.

As soon as I can land some cash I'm gonig to get some turntables and learn this shit. In the mean time I'm going to bootleg some software and make some beats. I'd just learn the piano and guitar, but I'm not that good with the whole hand-eye cor-di-nation. "Ooops... Let me try that again." (insert nervous laughter)

Okay. Bedtime.

UPDATE: I needed a random line from a song, so I went back to Timbaland's website where he has his new song featuring Nelly Nell and JT. So that explains the blog's name. Yeah, that album is going to be sweet.

I just realised I'm one of those people who give the THUMBS UP. Next time any of you see me do that. Just slap me upside the head... oops upside the head. Such an asshole. LOL.

You can only do the whole thumbs up thing ONLY, and fucking mean, ONLY, if you are as cool as this drunk broad in the middle.

I make funny with bold letters. HAHAHHA...HAH..HA... yeah... goodnight.

You know when you can see yourself in the future doing things: kids, future projects, vacationing, etc? Yeah, so in the last past couple of days, I've TRIED to do that, because I could before, and nothing... nothing at all. Complete blank. It's a little unsettling.

Oh and I don't see myself staying in San Diego longer than another two weeks. Yeah, about that. It's been a good run though.

And now Jon's moment of the week...

So it's pretty fucking early in the morning, I haven't gone to sleep. I figure I should try to stay up so I can crash on the plane... bad choice of words.

I've just finished packing everything, and then I realised...

Wow, I didn't get to see half the people I need to hang out with... which sucks big time. SHARICE!, Jason C & Jason B, Sherlock, Julie without interruptions, Stephanie, Christy, I missed Silawn's b-day (how was it?), my CVS peeps one last time (like I'm dying), etc... really the list goes on.

I can't dwell on it, at least Lane, Munchkin and myself hit up 7-eleven one more time for the road. Good times.

Fuck I'm tired...