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kristoff ☠



Last Updated: 11/27/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 99
Sign: Taurus

City: CLEVELAND
State: Ohio
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/15/2006

Blog Archive
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Sunday, November 01, 2009 
Nov 06 - Black Dahlia Murder Afterparty
Nov 07 Horrormerch
Nov 20-22 Horrorhound* - Cincinnati, OH (www.horrorhoundweekend.com)
Dec 15 - Marduk Afterparty
4:48 AM 
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Thursday, October 22, 2009 
im not sure wtf i did but im sure im going to have an end to this good luck streak shortly... 

landed that DVD deal with rotten... 
cons are going well and finishing up... 
got published in the Gospel of Filth book... 
im in a WAY more positive mindset as of late... 
im TOTALLY retarded about hanging out with Valerie...

im now kind of afraid of whats to come after the 7th hahaah... 

either shit is going to level out or im going to end up spontaneously combusting... 

not sure I like the later option anymore :p
4:51 AM 
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Thursday, October 22, 2009 
http://www.thegospeloffilth.com/

The Gospel of Filth is finally published...

life and times of Dani Filth/Cradle of Filth and other things around the band (black magic, occult, etc) and I got involved in the publication shooting Darklord10000000 and you can see the published pic on page 22 of the sample book displayed on that link above... 



but its finally available and im QUITE hyped :)
4:34 AM 
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009 

Current mood:  devious
i keep getting evil mothers stuck in my head, but the spider sex album is pretty amazing... 

however... 

got slipped a spark under the radar this past weekend at rock and shock... kinda retarded and hyped about it...

will see how halloween works its magic, but i have a feeling im in for some trouble... :)
Currently listening:
Spider Sex and Car Wrecks
By Evil Mothers
Release date: 1997-02-18
2:07 AM 
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Friday, October 09, 2009 

Current mood:  content
it's been about 8 weeks and I finally have some time to post a blog about random shit... 

I've put 5000 miles on my new car which isn't even 2 months old yet in doing cons in:
Cherry Hill, NJ / Lexington, KY / Baltimore, MD / Cleveland OH
and driving with Tags to Greensboro NC earlier this week... 

ended up bouncing on the shoot this weekend in Philly but I still have some time on the road going to Boston next week with Cheez and then Chicago the following week for Rock N Shock and Flashback respectively... 

within that time, minus the new ink on my arms, I've had really no down time and Im burnt the fuck out... 

almost broke the bank twice getting into a few new ideas, ended up coming out break even with these new things... 

one was hooking up with another vendor come spring (we're testing this out currently at screamfest this weekend) where I send another vendor merch and he sells it for me at cons I cant hit resulting in easier and more cost effective ways of selling and advertising... 

and another was landing a deal with Rotten to start productions for a line of DVDs come spring under the Punx Productions name... 

we're playing the numbers game and trying to figure shit out as to where sales are good/bad and what kind of content to start up... but I think that along the way should be pretty easy once I get started filming as I already have 5 of 12 girls ready and scheduled in... 

so hopefully the merch thing will work this weekend and we can work out the kinks as it was a last minute deal and we were both scrambling to make this work, but I think it will be easy enough for him and less of a headache for me that it could work out really well...

as far as Rotten's thing, I'm pretty hyped as I already have my first full length idea of just 6 separate scenes in mind and about 3-4 "specialty" videos already in the work via content I already have shot... so this should be a fabulous disaster within itself... 

Im hyped for both of these things to see just how well it all works!
Otherwise, I've just been stressing out on finances... making sure I don't break the bank, keep up on whats going in and out and still keeping on the road at the same time... 

it's hard to manage all that shit when you're only home for 1-2 days a week and still catching up on orders, emails and all the other day to day shit you can't do when you're gone...

Im definitely streamlining and managing this system much better than I had last fall and this past spring... but I couldn't be happier in doing it like this 2-3 times a year now :p

its definitely easier to manage than doing 60 straight days in a van again heh...
but even with all the ups and downs of finances this fall, Im in a 100% way better mindset since this time last year... 

I still have a bunch of financial bs over my head to sort out, but its no longer a weight on my head as its still manageable and im taking care of it little at a time... 

but not having such negative influences in my life (jailbird, the ar crew, etc) has definitely put me in a more positive perspective, more productive mindset and almost a bit more organized within my house as well... 

almost... heh... 

but really im just pretty hyped that things are finally leveling out, although finances are still sketchy and up and down at times (and jan-mar is going to SUCK) but keeping the positive mindset is most of the game heh...
I dunno... I don't really have anything to directly bitch about (sorry alan as I know you read this for spitting venom) but really overall the past 8 weeks have been a blur, but really... I wouldn't change a thing and hope that I can keep this up in the spring again with these few new things going on as well... 

but now im back to the grind and hoping for another good 8 weeks to follow :p

side note: seeing the Dancing Donkey BBQ barn on the way down to North Carolina, still makes me giggle :p

6:25 PM 
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009 
'Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.' — Thomas Alva Edison
ive realized... 

minus all the bullshit i've delt with business wise the past few weeks due to past bad ideas or just the economy falling... 

that ive just been missing that spark...
that inspiration to keep pushing... 

it's all become pattern, bullshit and "dealing with it"... 

there was a time, that didn't matter... 
and that'd i'd keep pushing no matter the obsticle... 
however, this year i've just been in a pattern of necessity, continually beaten down (by legal, taxes, the economy) to keep up in order to not fail... 

maybe i've just been distracted...
maybe i've just picked shitty "friends" the past few years that walked all over me and used me for this/that/the other... 
maybe it's just been some of the negative (mostly female) influences in the past few years... 
maybe it's that i'm just tired and need a new spark/direction... 

but, again past some bad decisions haunting me, these past few months have been a barrage of bullshit just testing me to see how far down im willing to go and can take before i just quit... 

with help from friends and family, ive kept my head up but not really headed to a new direction, just stayed afloat... 

within the past week of seeing that i haven't pushed my potential or "spark" to go further, i've found new "motivation" to do so... 

before I looked for motivation outside of myself as inspiration, however anyone within the merch business (minis one guy) has given me nothing but disappointment to look forward too and I've been just "doing out of necessity" more than pushing for a new direction to keep going... 

i've just finally hit rock bottom and need a change...
dealing with all the emotional shit from the past 2 weeks, getting that out of my system, seeing friends on the mayhem tour, and just seeing that im just stagnent in all waters that i need to up my personal bar to get out of this funk... 

i've come to that, i need to also change a bit of personal outlook with who i find as new "friends" in life... 

maybe im just bitter in thinking that, as kevin sharp puts it, "I cannot help but wonder if this [person] has an agenda...."
but anymore, that's all I run into...

"single serving" friends for whatever flight they have in mind before going back to whatever it is they have on their agenda... 
(this more so pointed to the jailbird and her bullshit last week) but still...

im tired of most people in general... 
i know who my friends are as, even if i haven't talked to them in weeks, nothings changed between us and everythings cool... 
no problems, no "life changing" questions, etc...

but those that if "something" in our friendship changes, and one of us needs to change gears, then all of a sudden its a problem... 

makes for issues and granted, that happens from time to time... 
but if all lines of communication are open, that will never happen... 
I'm stupid, but not blind... 

yet, I'm always the bad guy and just back off everytime which either makes it better or worse in the long run...
within the next week too much will change... 

im getting a new car, starting my convention circuit (which still isn't 100% set), and hiring back an old employee part time to help align my business and paperwork... 

hoping that that spark, will get me back into gear as she's a pusher... she's always busted my ass to do more, and as she's helped in all sides of my business (paperwork, merch and ran camera during video shoots) she knows/is comfortable with what I do... and as I've known her for years, without problem, maybe that's what I need to just get out of this bs... 

not in that SHE, being female, is what I need... 

but I just need a muse, a spark and a positive push to get my ass back in gear...
I've been either way more positive/negative this year depending on how shit is rolling at any point of my life... 

but really, I just need to start pushing again... 
getting shit rolling... 

overcome the bs obsticles that pretty much every person and legal entity has thrown at me this year and just go with it... 







so now that i've figured out the problem, "here's to bad ideas" in hoping that I can follow through in the coming weeks past the conventions heh :p


5:19 AM 
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Monday, August 03, 2009 
imagine if you will...

that you're a "normal" family...
husband + wife in their 50's, with your son and their grandson (assumed to be 5 or younger)...
heading to pennsylvania doing an all night drive through ohio...

then the son driving falls asleep at the wheel, the van that you're driving goes off the road and goes into a bit of a fielded area missing a batch of trees and ends up in a bit of muddy water...

pulling up shortly after is a car that saw said van go off the road...
coming to your aid (and first on the scene) is a girl in smeared corpse paint and a guy with a shirt that says "I WILL SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH" with 2 passed out girls in the backseat of said car...

all in the middle of nowhere at 5am...

how would you react past that initial shock of going off the road and that everyone is ok...

surprisingly the only person apparently brave enough to come out was the older gentleman who we waited with until a trooper showed up...

with everyone ok, the trooper took over and we finished out voyage home but definitely rattled awake past the multiple rockstars we had already in our system...

but the said family was lucky as they had JUST hit a clearing of weeds instead of the upcoming rest station sign and a batch of trees just feet from their tire tracks...

however im sure that, past their inital shock that they were quite happy that anyone (more so us as fucked up as we looked) stopped to help...

justine and I were just comically wondering how they took "us" more than anything else once the smoke cleared heh...

even the trooper just chuckled at us before letting us roll on heh...
anyway, past that this weekend was full of amazing...

friday, justine, anderson (as he was hopping on the tour to join up with another vendor to help) and i rolled down to blossom for mayhem fest thanks to dave from heathen for the invite out as he was on the tour vending again this year...

missing half the bands on the 2nd/3rd stage it was definitely a very cool day as we wandered around a bit, running into friends locally and from previous tours everywhere... even hitting catering backstage was an adventure as it was in a "bunker" underground heh...

slayer was heavy as always and blossom had a mud pit going... lots of drunken muscle flailing everywhere and sliding down the hill and onto the concrete below...

justine, who was in a skirt/fishnets/low shirt and my new rocks, hopped in somewhere along the way flailing around as well for most of the set coming out with busted knees, scratches all over, covered in mud and a huuuuuge grin on her face....

i flailed a bit too for the last few songs but received minor booboobs compared to her missing half the skin on her knee and blown out fishnets by the time she was done heh...

manson that night SUCKED... no energy and just kind of blah... wasn't so happy with that performance (however last night was way better)...

past cleanup and vendors leaving out... we roll to the afterparty with the bands in the lot with this one hosted by White Chapel (christian metal band one a tour like that?!) where their theme had to do something with liqour and Twister...

saw a few more random friends and we bolted out somewhere around 1230 to head back to cleveland...

as we are covered in mud, dried blood and full of energy justine has the idea to meet her roommate on w6th just to fuck with the normals on a friday night...

we end up rolling out there about 130 looking like we got in a car wreck and catch her roomate and her friends (dress to impress and suits all around) just gawking at us... and no hugs, minus her roomate, for justine as apparently mud and blood doesnt go well with skirts and suits :p

we get a few drinks then roll home and continue the weekend
saturday is a long sleep day as I do very minimal work awaiting info for that nights events...

tags' birthday was that night and end up with a bbq gathering at a friend of their's spot... lots of meat, and stories later we roll out to the reddstone where apparently there was a gathering of about 20+ in the back area...

tags sobriety was lacking upon arrival and soon went south from there...

more arrivals and stories later, jason ends up backing up a bit in his chair not noticing the floor we were on ended and he falls over backwards onto the ground... trying to get a picture, i follow suit and not noticing and almost end up face down in the planter behind us...

moments later jason delivers the death blow and tags is quickly puking over the fence behind the redd stone...

drinks later, i fuel the fire...
fear and lothing jokes were running tally all night... and then I get the bright idea to have tags ask the waitress a question...

she comes back checking in on drinks and tags pipes up
"so how much did they pay you to fuck that bear?"
a confused and stunned "what?" came from her
no one expected that question so we quickly calm the situation...

he then grabs a napkin and scribbles "backdoor beauty?" on it to follow said F+L incident...

jason hides the napkin and randomness still ensues...

a huge bar tab later, we all split off and roll home, somehow...
sunday I wake up way late... surprisingly not hung over and trying to get into work...

I totally fail and get a call from justine about a shoot I was setting up... she and two girls are going to detroit for mayhem via heathen again... she invites me out and I end up driving justine's car with 2 strippers en route to detroit...

we get there somewhere around slayer's set missing most of the day, but as it was a last minute decision and free, im not one to bitch :p

we bs for a bit, hit up slayer and watch that set followed by a way more energetic manson set...

the energy of the crowd wasn't as rodwy/into slayer/manson but there was a much larger crowd almost selling out DTE that holds about 13500...

after manson we roll to the afterparty this time hosted by Behemoth and the theme was a corpse painting party...

I end up running into a few girls from columbus I knew, Gashley from chicago and the guys from Cannibal Corpse as they were all pretty much in drunk mode... with corpsegrinder looking like nathan explosion via coprse paint and his dethklok shirt...

everyone randomly corpse painted justine and one of the other girls end up rolling off to behemoth's bus and come back shortly later covered in corpsepaint...

we bolt shorlty around 2 something filled with energy drinks and the girls a bit drunk...

then above van incident happens and we make it home somewhere around 6am...
this weekend, on a whole, was a great release and distraction... although I had a change of thought process along the way home about a few things last night, overall it was definitely a weekend that I needed to clear my head for the most part... hopefully not causing other problems in said process heh...
7:44 PM 
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Monday, July 27, 2009 
as taken from the current issue of Decibel - Brutal Truth's Kevin Sharp pour his head out and I completely understand it/live it
"It's hard being genuine grind, but I have no choice in the matter - it is as much me as the sky is blue. I cannot listen to music without hearing sour notes and punches. I cannot look at artwork without being concerned as to serif or sans-serif. I cannot help but wonder if this promoter or agent has an agenda. My head is a mess 90 percent of the time. I make no apologies in the games we play, but they are real... What's the state of your yard? Up fora BBQ?"
That's one dude, I need to share a beer with heh... 
8:15 PM 
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Monday, July 27, 2009 
haven't emptied my head out lately, so just one thing after another... 
poured out for my own sanity over the public airwaves...
the past few weeks have been a pretty angry blur for me... 

just too much work, lack of time and lots of other bullshit to deal with in general... 

seems that im catching up more than getting ahead anymore and im not sure if its just that time of year or what but it seems that most people in my situation of running their own shit on the same level are having mostly the same problem... 

all work, no play... but its kind of hard to when you're at a lack of funds heh.. 

last night I continued, probably the wrong conversation, with a friend of mine.... it was only due time this was to happen via one party or the other as we've kind of had it before via her end months ago when it wasn't the best of timing, but apparently i was just the one to take the plunge and blurt everything out on this run... and i wasn't even drunk, however the first part of said conversation was a drunken few nights earlier heh... 

the end result, of course by taking her by surprise and kind of leaving an open ended result and i guess the next few days will open to whichever result to go with... but i'm still (as always) the idiot... 

which leads me to the next thing in that I don't think I'm so much friends with drinking anymore... it's become habit (not recreation) in that going out, (esp to peabodys) its hard not to just order something and go with it... and 1 turns to 2 and 2 turns to 5, etc... 

not saying that I have a drinking problem persay as I only drink when I'm out (which is on a more rare occasion anymore), however I need to change my pattern and somehow restrict my ability to text/email when I've had a few too many as I just txt/email the wrong things to the right people...

i guess i just need a change of pattern really... 

i've become pretty extreme with things and the patterns there in... 
i work wayyyyyy too much lately
i sleep very little
when i do go out, its always to erase whatever troubles are of the day
im way to open and blunt which irritates some and freaks out others
im usually in an all or nothing confrontation about everything anymore
and im way to hyper to get involved with other things that could be good financially or a new stress release... 

which leads me to the show last night... 

killer show, great sound, great crowd response... 

my new toys however, didn't work out as well as planned... 

tried too many new variables without enough testing to really get it correctly but definitely need to revamp the current set up and go to the next version of what I'm doing... 

after this past week in practice and all the work we're doing together, I feel much more welcomed to their fold and quite comfortable with this setup... 

sure I don't help write music, but I can't manage another project or practice 3 times a week either... I'm better behind the scenes and as a "addition" to the stage show... 

work my ass off when I have to and get the payouts of being on the road and stage time as well... it's where I'm supposed to be apparently with that industry apparently :p

but I definitely feel more involved and more driven now... so just hopefully the next show we do I won't be stressing as much as my part of last nights performance definitely wasn't my best... 

all good in theory, just needs a bit of reconstruction...
but thats all for now as a phone call derailed my train of thought and its back to work heh... 

woooohooo! 
4:29 PM 
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Wednesday, July 08, 2009 
Looks like the book I am (to be) published in with darklord10000000 is finally coming out... 

http://www.fabpress.com/vsearch.php?CO=FAB103

Author: Gavin Baddeley with Dani Filth
'Bible' style Signed and Numbered Special Edition

IMPORTANT NOTICE
This 'Bible' style Signed and Numbered Special Edition will be available to buy as a PRE-ORDER ITEM ONLY. Act fast once this book goes on sale. We will shortly announce a CUT-OFF DATE after which it will not be possible to order this special edition. The cut-off date will be strictly enforced.

For a limited time only, we are offering everyone the chance to buy the most lavish and exclusive special edition book ever published by FAB Press. Special Features include:

- 'Bible'-style gold-embossed binding with black silk page-marker ribbon.
- Each copy individually numbered.
- Each copy individually autographed by Gavin Baddeley and Dani Filth.
- 32-page bonus chapter, which will not be available in the standard trade paperback edition.

In DANI'S BONUS CHAPTER, readers can find out about:
- Dani's schooldays - midnight misadventures in a nuns' graveyard...
- The hazards of touring - from being buried alive to soiling the sheets, and a lesson in how not to throw a TV set out of a hotel window.
- Dani explains how his drunken Spiderman antics led to a hotel floor filled with foam and an innocent businessman in the frame.
- The band brave Russia, are menaced with Kalashnikovs, challenge the local mafia to a tattoo competition, and somehow live to tell the tale.
- The truth behind the Cradle feuds with Megadeth, Motorhead and Type O Negative...
- Rockets, fistfights, firepower and airborne lighting rigs - how to survive recording and touring in the inimitable Filth fashion!

PLUS 44 exclusive behind-?the-?scenes photographs, all in full colour, never seen before in print, and only available in the special edition!
4:59 PM 
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