so im stuck with these sucky things called responsibility, stress, school, working adn trying just to live, it sucks ass of course but its life. i dont quite understand it yet but one day i will.
whats more important to you if you could help me out with this one....
a job so you can eat and have shelter dont care what it is but its just a place to surveve if that much, or school where its hard enough to focus because your wondering how youll survive at home ?
wil you eat today or you u will but not as much as you liek because you know you have someone else who needs it more than you with you? do you constantly worry where youll be in 5 years.. 10 years.... shoot 1 year?!? its not an easy thing to think about is it.. its easy when your set for it i guess and i gues calling it "stress free" lol if that ever happeneds for anyone.
im afraid to work because i may get to into it adn thene school will def go down the drain for me. it will help with the home status but if i dont have school. then i will have nothing. I will be a failiure and i wil not have the option of a job that i would like because of a flipppin piece of paper that is apparently very essential .... i dont knwo what to do anymore. its hard to focus on anyhting .,.. i dont even think i made much ssence in the begining of this at all either but they are just kinda liek notes and facts probley i dont knwo... shot also the best part of stress as a 17 year old guy is when you dont have a girlfriend for a year and your ex pretty much says you should go to hell because yoru the worst bf she has ever had... its kind of a ego killer or what ever it hits you a bit cuz its on my mind alot... its not my mind i had issues and i couldnt be around alot or be the "moneyman" shoot no m.. no gal+ no job of course + no food/shelter+ hangin out with friends(cant always bumm like i do.. it gets old adn i hate borrowing money) all of it equalls screwed. Iam still trying to figure out where i screwed up in this life with soemthings. not all just a few that really bugg me
I try to be perfect but noones perfect. why in the world dooes money have such an effect on people. what ever happend to liking people for who they are and their personality. not cuz of the money rolling in and what they wear and such.
im suprised i have the fireds that i do now.. these are some of the people who i guess i can say are my friends.. but you know how that goes. they have a life they go one with it.. but i have a problem letting go of anythign. i dont knwo anymore i am just ranting. stuff happends huh?
shit i feel as i have been getting more immature or just losing what i have learned over the years. i hate that i curse alot i cant help it it just comes out. i hate what i say adn what i talk about sometimes adn i dont understand that either.
FYI my blogs never make sence obviously but pleaase soemoen say somethign adn read it jeeebuss!!!!