Last Sunday (June 28), I did a webinar on "False Allegations of Sexual Abuse". I am told it was very well received and there was some excellent discussion that followed the formal part of my presentation.

A while ago I posted a blog on my feelings about "nesting". I am not a fan of nesting because although it sounds great in theory - i.e., keeping the children in one home while the parents move in and out, in pratice it is unlikely to work.

Further to my post yesterday about the Canadian custody decision, I received this article from a website visitor. I goes into greater detail about this case. I am hoping that the actual court decision will be available soon. When it is, I will post it as well.
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LEGAL AFFAIRS REPORTER (Tracey Tyler - January 24, 2009)
In a stunning and unusual family law decision, a Toronto judge has stripped a mother of custody of her three children after the woman spent more than a decade trying to alienate them from their father. The mother's "consistent and overwhelming" campaign to brainwash the children into thinking their father was a bad person was nothing short of emotional abuse, Justice Faye McWatt of the Superior Court of Justice wrote in her decision. The three girls, ages 9 to 14, were brought to a downtown courthouse last Friday and turned over to their father, a vascular surgeon identified only as A.L. Their mother, a chiropodist identified as K.D., was ordered to stay away from the building during the transfer and to have her daughters' clothing and possessions sent to their father's house. McWatt stipulated that K.D. is to have no access to the children except in conjunction with counseling, including a special intensive therapy program for children affected by "parental alienation syndrome." The mother must bear the costs. Harold Niman, the father's lawyer, said the decision serves as a wake-up call to parents who, "for bitterness, anger or whatever reason," decide to use their children to punish their former partners. "Maybe if they realize the courts will actually step in and do something and there is a risk of not only losing custody, but having no contact with their children, they'll think twice about it," Niman said in an interview. McWatt's judgment was released Jan. 16 and published on legal databases this week. By yesterday, it was a hot topic within the family law bar. The judge said awarding A.L. sole custody was the children's only hope for having a relationship with their father, given their mother's long-running transgressions. These include ignoring court orders, shutting the door in A.L.'s face when he came to collect the children and refusing to answer the phone when he called to say goodnight. (He was granted telephone access to say good night on Monday, Wednesday and Friday). At times, she also arranged for police to show up when her daughters had overnight visits with their father. Eventually, K.D. cut off contact altogether, refusing to allow A.L. to see or speak with his daughters. He was reduced to shouting goodnight to them through the door of their home, often not knowing whether they were there. "It is remarkable that A.L. has not given in to the respondent's persistence in keeping his children from him over the last fourteen years and simply gone on with his life without the children as, no doubt many other parents in the same situation would have and, indeed, have done," McWatt said. The mother squandered several chances to change her behavior and is unable to accept it is in her children's best interests to have a relationship with their father, the judge said. Nicholas Bala, a Queen's University law professor who specializes in family law, said "badmouthing" or negative attitudes by one parent toward another is quite common among separated couples. But in recent years, the justice system has begun to understand the harmful effects of the worst form of this behavior. In most cases, the problem is resolved through counseling, where parents are encouraged to accept they'll both always be in their children's lives, said Bala. "I tell them, ..... if you're the survivor, you'll be going to the other's funeral, not because you love that person, but to support your children.' "Having said that, there are some people - and I think some of them are suffering from personality disorders - who will not respond to therapy and will not respond to directions from judges." Transferring custody is a last resort, because "it can be quite dramatic and traumatic" - yet sometimes better than the alternative, said Bala. "We often talk about the best interests of the child, but often it's the least detrimental alternative, really." Bala said courts are unlikely to take such a drastic step without hearing expert testimony about what's happening in the family. A child may be avoiding a parent for legitimate reasons such as physical or emotional abuse. McWatt heard testimony from Barbara Fidler, a Toronto mediator and clinical psychologist who predicted eight years ago the three girls were at risk of becoming alienated from their father.  The Office of the Children's Lawyer argued the family dynamics could not continue. Fidler said research points to long-term damage in people alienated from a parent in childhood. Children are more susceptible at about age 10 or 11, after their brains have developed to the point where they can hold positive and negative information about a parent. If what one parent is saying about the other doesn't accord with their own perceptions, they can become confused. In some cases, the only way out of the emotional conflict is to take one parent's side. The child can even begin inventing his or her own reasons for hating the other parent, the court was told. Early intervention is best, Niman said."Really, parental alienation is a process. If you can nip it in the bud, that's the best advice I can give to clients. "Because the longer it goes on, the more difficult it can be to undo."

http://www.ngnews.ca/index.cfm?sid=214660&sc=503

A firm judicial decision addressing the problem of parental alienation. Unfortunately, this type of court ruling is what is needed to protect children's rights to have a relationship with both parent. I am so glad that this judge made this move. I'd like to see this decision and others like it find its way into the inboxes of all family law judges.

The economy sucks and it's is affecting everyone in one way or another. Getting divorced can be expensive at the best of times. And now when times are tough, it's even more important not to squander money by making poor choices when going through the divorce process.

I put together "The Divorce and Custody Resource Handbook". It's a 59-page ebook that contains valuable information about the divorce and custody process. It also includes many links to other relevant information - all available online and most of which is free. I've screened the links to make sure the information provided is credible and useful. There is no charge for this handbook.

By clicking on the link below, you will be taken to a webpage where you can download "The Divorce and Custody Resource Handbook". Please feel free to forward the handbook to others or to include a link to it on your blogs or websites.

http://www.drreenasommer.com/info_products/handbook_intro.html

I have been following the Caylee Anthony story with great interest and sadness. As a trial strategist and consultant, I am always on the look out for glaring incosistencies in evidence and logic. The Caylee Anthony case is full of them.

One of the most obvious disjoints in this case is Cindy Anthony's ongoing claims that Casey would never harm Caylee - that she has never known her to be anything but a good mother - "she loves that child". Yet, in contrast to this claim was Casey's physical assault on Cindy the day before she took off with Caylee who was never again to be seen alive by her grandparents.

Interestingly, Casey's assault on Cindy is reported to have involved "chocking" - the very thing that was found in a Google search on the home's computer. If Casey attempted to strangle her mother, then it is entirely conceiveable that she could do the same to her child. At the very least, Casey's conduct clearly shows that she does have the propensity toward violence which in this case, went beyond conducting Google searches.

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This program is for all parents, grandparents and family members who are affected by a parental alienation and/or a less than cooperative noncustodial parenting arrangement. Tonight (Tues, Dec 9/08), I will be a guest on America’s Injustice. I will be talking about the challanges of celebrating the holidays as a non custodial parent. Please have a listen and join in during the Q & A segment. Please come by and participate or down load and listen later - 8 P.M.EST - Tuesday, December 9/08 The Phone Number: (724) 444-7444 - Call ID: 52056

Everyone knows that information is power. And, what better way to share it but in a blog that is TARGETED to people's interests and needs. So I was thinking about the best way to streamline content to meet this objective. It occurred to me to get input from blog readers and then generate discussion from them. of course this will only work if people take the time to respond.

So here it goes.... Let's start things off with the question:

If you could give one piece of advice about avoiding the custody battle you've experienced, what would that be?

Let's stir the pot with some interesting discussion. Please join in.