In 1981 I graduated from elementary school. Until this Sunday, I held onto one of my graduation gifts for 27 years. My Aunt Lisa and Uncle Fritz gave me $30 dollars cash in the form of three extremely fresh, crisp $10 dollar bills. I don't remember why I initially didn't spend the money, but basically all these years I've had the cash in the original envelope tucked away in a drawer for mostly sentimental reasons. My Uncle died in 1993 and my Aunt in 1995. Even though I inherited all of their possessions (in fact the desk I use was my Uncle's), there was something sweet about still having that cash. I guess one day I figured I'd spend it on something and imagine my they had bought it for me. Well that day came on Sunday, which happened to be Mother's Day. I found a used 1973 Yashica Electro 35 GSN rangefinder on Craigslist that was selling for exactly $30 dollars. The time seemed right to dig into that envelope. Mother's Day is of course a bit melancholy for me so the idea that in some way my Aunt (truly my second Mother) was buying me a camera made me feel good. The camera would also connect me to my Uncle who was a photographer in Los Angeles - he did children's portrait sittings in his late in life second career, after being a spice seller in Philadelphia. But something strange happened when I went to take the money out of the envelope, I discovered another folded up bill that I had no memory was ever in there. Without unfolding it, I could immediately see on the outside fold that it was a $2 dollar bill. My Mom had a thing for $2 dollar bills because they reminded her of her father. He had once given her a $2 bill and signed it to her and she always carried it with her in her wallet under her driver's license. As I unfolded the bill, I could see that it was one my Mom had inscribed to me, "with love from Mom 1983." There aren't too many moments in life that can give you pure elation but finding that $2 bill I had long forgotten about on Mother's Day when my Mom is no longer around on this earthly plane was an off the charts moment in time. After 27 years of saving that $30 dollar gift from my Aunt and Uncle, Mother's Day was the day that I "decided" to spend it. Coincidence, spirit guided, who knows. It's pretty phenomenal either way, and for me, a definite feeling of my Mom's touch.

In the last couple weeks I've finally invested some time to get to really understand Flickr and see how it can work for me. Getting a Pro account on Flickr (where I can upload an unlimited amount of photos) and finding all the cool Polaroid groups has really motivated me to start scanning my Polaroids like a mad woman. But even though there are a tremendous amount of groups devoted to Polaroid, I noticed there wasn't a single car group - so three days ago I started my own! As of this afternoon, my group Polaroid Cars has over 100 members and close to 300 photos in the group pool. This is very exciting for me. What's really cool is that some of the members are actually people whose work I admire tremendously like Grant Hamilton. So please check out Flickr and come visit my group http://flickr.com/groups/polaroidcars.

Saturday, April 19, 2008
DAY AFTER SURGERY
My hand surgery went well yesterday. I had a hard cyst removed from below my right, middle finger. The doctors, nurses, and staff were very surprised that I decided to forgo anesthesia and just do local (novocaine) for my hand surgery. It's pretty cool to be called "brave" by the staff at Kaiser. I figured that I've had pretty invasive dental work done while awake using just novocaine so why not just do that for my hand. I mean having a dentist come at your face and mouth with sharp instruments while awake seems a lot worse to me than having my hand cut apart when I can't even see what's happening. I was actually more freaked out about getting the I.V. put into my hand than concerned about the surgery. I think I had my blood pressure checked about 10 times yesterday and man that hurt like hell! Where's the anesthetic for that!?! The only painful parts of surgery were the really tight tourniquet that they put on my arm and some shots the doctor gave me after the incision that was some kind of medicine to help heal the wound. The shots burned and I actually winced and said ow out loud. But the pain was only for a few seconds so I could deal with it. My hand surgery (actually an orthopedic specialist), Dr. Randall Ryan, is one of the nicest doctors you could ever have and good looking to boot! In the past, Dr. Ryan has given me shots of cortisone in my right knee (for pain associated with torn cartilage), plus cortisone in both my hands when I developed really bad tendonitis about 5 years ago. Although Kaiser can be a bitch while waiting for appointments (2 months wait to see Dr. Ryan!), my overall staff experiences have been really good. In the past I received excellent physical therapy for my knee (so good that I walk without pain and even hike!) and months of physical therapy I received for the debilitating tendonitis in my hands that actually got me back on the road to recovery. All the nurses I encountered yesterday in pre and post-op were really nice and caring too. I actually got in a half hour early for surgery - how amazing is that. The entire surgery lasted about 15 minutes and novocaine numbness lasted in my hand all day and night. I kept waiting for the numbness to stop and the pain to start but when I went to bed about 12 hours after surgery, my hand was STILL numb. One of my best friends, Sheryl, was super cool to pick me up from the hospital (my Dad was just too intimidated by the quagmire of buildings at Kaiser to attempt doing pick up). She came into the recovery room and we both laughed at my fashionable attire (a hospital gown with the oh so convenient open back end!) and the gourmet food (jello of course!). She took me to Jerry's Deli afterwards so I could eat my first meal of the day - the fried matzo comfort food I was craving. What was really weird was that my two hands had totally different temperatures. My left hand that had not gone through surgery was normal and cool while my right fingertips were hot as hell. While I probably should have rested for the day, I wanted to get to a mini photographer's party at Aline Smithson's house. These intimate gatherings are so rare, it's such a great opportunity to get to visit with friends, and Aline's house is so freaking amazing, that even surgery couldn't keep me from it. Sheryl did one more driver duty and picked me up and took me to the party and Leba Marquez from my Photography Now group show was nice enough to take me home. Come on, who can resist going to a party with their hand wrapped up in two inches of gauze and bandages - what a conversation starter! Plus I really needed photos taken of my hand so I was in the perfect place to get someone to take pictures of me! Surgery is just an excuse for a photographic series :-)

to view the original post and to see photos accompanying this entry go to http://fotonomous.blogspot.com/2008/04/my-hand-surgery-went-well-yesterday.html

First they stopped production of Time Zero, my favorite Polaroid film of all time, then they quietly yanked their instant cameras from their website and the marketplace, and now for the final nail in the coffin - Polaroid is ceasing production of all instant films at the end of this year. I'm sure many people could care less in this digital age that Polaroid is going the way of the dinosaur (except for sticking their name on a variety of mediocre electronic merchandise from LCD TV's to digital cameras), but for a lot of dedicated shooters, this is madness. My love of Polaroid is known far and wide among my friends and family and I've actually been pleasantly surprised that many people have empathetically and tenderly brought up the topic with me and and earnestly inquired if I'm going to be stockpiling industrial size refrigerators full of the stuff. While I do have a small stockpile of about 15 boxes of Time Zero, plus a medley of other formats like peel apart film and a plethora of packfilms (Spectra, Joycam, 779 and even iZone) in my extra fridge - all stacked neatly next to the spare Lactose Free
2% milk and a odd mix of 35mm and 120 films - I am not currently planning to buy all the Polaroid film that is still circulating on the planet. For one thing, Fuji makes their own alternative to Polaroid's peel apart film and it's far superior to Polaroid's own brew anyway - it doesn't have the tendency to curl like the Polaroids and it doesn't smell gross like the Polaroids and it actually has a nicer color rendition too. So for now, the peel apart film I use is safe. It is possible that another corporation will come along and carry some of the film formats Polaroid is ending. My main hope is that the 600 film format will stay alive for years to come. When you think of someone taking a Polaroid and pushing the button and the film spitting out the front, it's the 600 format that you are thinking of. 600 is synonymous with Polaroid. Time Zero, my fave, was the same shape as 600, (Polaroid comparison of 600 on the left vs Time Zero on the right) although a different formulation that made everything you shot look like it was taken back in a washed out 70's haze, except for the saturated and dreamy blue tones that made an average sky or swimming pool or ocean view look magnificent. If 600 isn't picked up by another company, I will be sad forever and a little bit of my creativity will die too. And stockpiling 600 will not help matters - even when refrigerated, the film just starts deteriorating within a year or two of the expiration - leaving brown streaks (instead of imagery) in places the emulsion has fallen apart.

Now I don't really care that the instant cameras have ceased production because the truth is that pretty much any Polaroid camera made within the last decade or so sucks completely. From an ergonomic and design point of view, the newer cameras are just not intuitive to open, close, or use. In an effort to make them more compact, they just muddled up the usability. Anyone who's ever used a vintage SX-70 will tell you they should have just kept that design in perpetuity. And as far as focusing any of the newer cameras - the newer cameras do a fuzzy, washed out approximation of in focus. The older cameras that had sonar focusing could actually focus in complete darkness. I've taken pictures of a person sleeping in a totally black room with Spectra and Impulse cameras that used sonar focusing - and the photos come out crisply in focus. The new crappy Polaroid cameras can't do that. I don't know how much it cost Polaroid to manufacture their 600 and Spectra films - the ones the general public were most likely to use - but with the cost of each individual Polaroid photo averaging at over a dollar a pop - I'm not surprised sales would have dwindled. Maybe if Polaroid could have cut costs of its retail film packs, they wouldn't have had to get rid of it entirely. I know that whenever I venture out with any of my Polaroid cameras and go shoot, people my age and older get a smile on their face when they see the camera and photos, and young kids - typically so unimpressed by anything that wasn't just released today - are curious to see this old technology and still impressed by the magic of an instant photo. Ever want to liven up a party - whip out any format of Polaroid and people get a great buzz posing for pictures and waiting for the result to magically appear moments later. Halloween dress up is more fun with Polaroid!

Polaroid cameras and their films have always been timeless fun and there's not many things you can talk about anymore that fall into that category. Even a distressed Jeepster becomes "art" with a Polaroid.

A Polaroid is instant and forever and special.

Here's a video clip about the demise of the instant films and pay extra special attention to the jackass at the end - the guy that bought out Polaroid after their bankruptcy. His positive spin doctoring about the end of instant films is laughable - he's happier to slap the Polaroid name on crap than to actually keep any respect the brand has garnered for decades. I'm sure Edwin Land and Ansel Adams are spinning in their graves.

to see this entry with accompanying photos go my fotonomous blog

OLD SCHOOL
Growing up in the Valley, I used to relish going to Shakey's Pizza on Reseda Blvd in Tarzana. Not only did they have killer pizza, but they were the first restaurant I went to that had video games! A night at Shakey's included giddy-upping on a coin-operated horse, watching old Laurel and Hardy shorts projected on a large screen, and playing Pong or Pole Position. Ah, those were the days. That location doesn't exist anymore and I doubt Shakey's Pizza tastes as good as I remember it, but this sign sure brought back memories.
see photos accompanying this entry on my fotonomous blog

Tuesday, April 15, 2008
UNCLE FRITZ' OLD ROLLEICORD
I found out the limitations of my Epson 2580 scanner today when I tried to scan a medium format negative for the first time and found out I couldn't! I've had this scanner for a couple years and mostly just scan an occasional Polaroid or snapshot, but when I bought it I originally intended to be able to scan 35mm slides and medium format negs too. My previous scanner was able to scan medium format and I kept that size holder when I got rid of the scanner so I could use it on this 2580. I recall asking an Epson rep if I could use this holder and she told me yes. Well two years too late, I've found out it actually doesn't work! I really don't shoot much medium format so the need to scan it hasn't come up. Here's some medium format test shots I took at the Getty Center using my Uncle Fritz' old Rolleicord, a camera I inherited and cherish.
see photos accompanying this entry on my fotonomous blog

Sunday, April 13, 2008
THE GETTY CENTER CAPTURED IN TIME ZERO
Well I've been hoarding the last batch of my Polaroid Time Zero film and just wondering what the hell to actually shoot with it. Since blue skies and water (like swimming pools and the beach) express themselves the best on Time Zero - so creamy and dreamy - i figured the Getty Center (one of my favorite places to shoot) was more than deserving of my precious Time Zero. The day I went up there was absolutely picture perfect and the blue skies were incredible to the eye and as expressed on Time Zero. I shot two and a half boxes (about 25 photos), enjoyed every second of it, and actually lost one of my exposures to a gust of wind that took it sailing down the mountain. I consider it an appropriate sacrifice to the Gods of Polaroid. Maybe one day it will be found and admired.

read more and see photos on my fotonmous blog

Sunday, March 23, 2008
AN ENCINO EASTER
Easter was always one of my favorite holidays growing up because my Mom made it so much fun for me. We colored eggs and she hid chocolate bunnies and other goodies in the front yard for me to find. I'd walk around our huge front yard and she's say "hot" or "cold" depending on whether I was near finding chocolaty goodness in our various bushes or tucked behind trees or in flower pots. One year it was a bit too hot and a LOT of the chocolate melted and another time our German Shepard Heidi found one stash of candy before I did and chewed open the box. My best Easter find of ALL TIME was an entire box of Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back trading cards. Even though I'm Jewish, I was raised celebrating all the holidays. It wasn't until I was 12 or so in seventh grade that I actually realized that Easter was a Christian holiday and not just a universal one like Valentine's Day.

Friday I went shopping at Ralph's with my friend Cathy to buy eggs and Paas Easter Egg dying kits. This was going to be the first time I'd be decorating Easter Eggs since my Mom died. This year I just felt like I HAD to make them. I always thought it was a fun and creative activity and it was about time to do it again. I bought the standard kit and Cathy got one that had glitter sticks and beads. When we got to the register I realized I hadn't bought a single Cadbury Creme egg this year. Ever since they debuted Cadbury Creme Eggs (I'm guessing in the early 80's), that was my favorite Easter candy and I always looked forward to them reappearing on store shelves for that brief month before Easter. But at the register I realized I didn't have a taste or craving for them and skipped it altogether. I've been diligently cutting out most sweets for the past month and I guess those sweet taste buds have just been dwindling. I realized I also hadn't bought any PEEPS this year and now that was one Easter candy I just had to have. Besides, they're not as overly sweet and rich as the Cadbury Creme Eggs, so I think they would just hit the spot. But I didn't buy any PEEPS on the spot, I'm waiting til tomorrow when they're at least half off! :-) My Mom went crazy around Easter - she had to have Chocolate covered Malt Balls (I remember they came in containers that looked like small pints of milk), and Chocolate covered Marshmallows shaped like eggs. Yummy. Well so far this year I haven't had a single taste of chocolate on Easter, but I had a lot of fun making eggs on Friday (although it wasn't nearly as much fun without my Mom who just brought a wonderful playful spirit to the process). I got to take a few funny pictures of Lucy who briefly let me put bunny ears on her! LOLOL. And instead of running around the front yard looking for Easter treats, I took a rare moment to sit on a swinging bench that hangs at the front of the yard and just took in the blue skies and wonderfully warm weather. I just was thinking of how my Mom used to like to relax on the bench and have picnics in the yard when all of a sudden I started smelling a strong gust of Gardenias - my Mom's favorite flower. We don't have Gardenias in our garden and as far as I can tell neither do any of my nearest neighbors. Was it my Mom sending me an Easter message or just coincidence? The answer doesn't really matter. The Gardenias smelled lovely.

to see the photos accompanying this entry go to my fotonomous blog

Friday, November 2, 2007
ROXY IS LOVE

My family adopted/rescued ROXY from a private shelter almost 12 years ago. When we got her she had been placed and re-adopted into a few homes and already had puppies that had been taken away from her. She was only a year old. A black lab / Weimarenar mix, she was the largest female lab mix I had ever seen. She was 90 pounds and all muscle with tall, long legs, a long body, a tall, stout chest, and she had the softest ears I have ever felt on a short haired dog. Her coat was naturally shiny and she had these glowing golden brown eyes - one of her Weimarenar traits. She would follow you from room to room just to be near you and she still does that today. You can kiss her face over and over, lie cuddled practically on top of her, and she always comes when you call her. She loves going for walks and loves going for rides even more. She's super quiet (except when she's sleeping and snoring) and barely ever makes a sound or even barks, but she makes the cutest howling sounds whenever she hears an ambulance or fire truck nearby.

The first time I took a nap cuddled next to her with my face nuzzled into her neck I knew it was love. She's the only dog I've ever owned who would even let me do that. Why other families who had adopted her rejected her I will never know or comprehend. After all these years ROXY is getting old. She's approximately 13 - really old for any dog, but especially for a large one. She's slowed down considerably. Some days she has more pep and other days she's a bit pooped out. Her favorite place to be (besides lounging on one of our couches) is to sit perched on the porch or just inside the entryway to the house and just observe the cars and people going by on the street. When she was younger, if she saw a squirrel whiz by in the yard she would take off like a rocket. Now she just watches them walk on by - not enough energy to be the pursuer.

About five years ago she started developing these tumors on both sides or her body. After running blood tests, the Vet informed us that surgery was risky for ROXY. My Mom had just died and the thought of possibly losing ROXY's life to remove the tumors wasn't worth it. And the thought of ROXY possibly dying right after my Mom probably would have killed my Dad. So we decided to let ROXY live out her life as long as that was going to be and not have her suffer through surgery. Well now it's five years later and ROXY has lots of tumors and cysts all over her body. The largest one on her left side is about 12 x 12 inches and hard as a rock. The tumor is stealing nutrients from the rest of her body so her weight drops little by little and she keeps getting skinnier in the middle. Sometimes the tumor affects her appetite and she doesn't want to eat much. On days that she does want to eat her dog food, I give her a bowl of my Peanut Butter Puffins cereal followed by a milk chaser - one of her favorite meals. She's been an amazing companion as I've grown from 25 to 37. ROXY isn't pure black anymore - she's earned her gray hairs - and her white eyebrows are the cutest. I'm just happy to still have ROXY here. I cherish the days I have with her.

Update: Roxy died at home on December 7, 2007. I was at her side comforting her and she went quickly. That she survived to the ripe old age of 13 (very old for a large sized dog), and despite all the tumors, is a testament to her strength and strong will to live. To say she will be missed is an understatement. I now have a new dog in my life, another rescue - Lucy, a 2 year old boxer/lab mix. As this post is a tribute to Roxy, I will elaborate on Lucy in a future post.

to see the photos accompanying this entry go to my fotonomous blog

Monday, November 19, 2007
VICTORY TRAILHEAD

I love shooting digitally, but once in awhile it's nice to slow down and do things the old school film way. The only problem with me shooting film is the rolls tend to sit around for quite some time before I can get them off to a decent lab. Just got back a roll from my Olympus XA- a rangefinder from the late 70's with a fast f2.8 lens and cute as hell black clamshape body. This roll was TMAX and I really love the dreamy, hazy yet kinda sharp look. It's weird though to see grain again. These images were taken by me on the Victory Trailhead in Woodland Hills - a fantastic place to hike that actually makes you understand what the Valley was like back when it was inhabited by Native American tribes like the Tongva, Chumash, and Gabrielino. The Victory Trailhead has rolling hills, Oaks trees (btw, my hometown Encino is the Spanish word for Oak), and the perfect amount of quiet and serenity to make you feel like you actually escaped the city. B/W shots are TMAX, the rest are a mix of digital and some color film.

to see the photos accompanying this entry go to my fotonomous blog

Directions to Victory Trailhead. You can take Victory Blvd at any point in the Valley and just go as far West as you can go. Victory actually ends at the Victory Trailhead (just West of Valley Circle in West Hills). From the 101 freeway exit Valley Circle Boulevard. Head north to Victory Boulevard. Turn left. Park entrance is approximately one mile at the end of Victory Boulevard. There are other entrances too, go to http://www.lamountains.com/parks.asp?parkid=28 for more info.