This Gemzar is a new ballgame. Before a nurse introduces the chemo concoction into your veins, they give you pre-drugs to help your body not freak out too much when the helpful poison is actually IN you. Well, one of the pre-drugs is a steroid, and I do NOT do well on steroids. I turn into The Hulk, and not his warm, cuddly side. Did he have one?? Oh yeah, when he was Bill Bigsby. To give you an idea of the artificial strength and energy it gives me; when I was on it 10 years ago, I was up most all night writing poetry (which was actually kind of cool) but then the next day I painted my deck, and I didn't really want to. And believe it or not, I was on one of the most difficult chemos at the time. Energy is OK with me, but along with it comes anxiety and irritablilty X 10. It's not pretty. The other day I almost yelled at the postal clerk for not having their selection of stamps closer so you can fucking SEE them!! See what I mean?? Luckily, here on day 4, the effects of the steroids seem to be wearing off some and just your basic fatigue and "who the hell am I?!" feelings are left, but man, it IS a ride. 

I appreciate your sitting with me here in cancerland. Stay healthy and well. I used to take my health for granted, but man, not anymore.