I discovered a completely new race/culture whatever you want to call it within our streets and on our doorstep. They're called drug dealers, and they're a funny bunch.
I was waiting for my friend, who was held up in a meeting so I chose to wait outside, it was late, and I was essentially loitering around like a target. Not that I'm scared of anything or should be. Sad to think that maybe you should be scared hanging around on street corners in the middle of the night - but I am not.

This guy approaches me (here we go) he was dark and had blood shot eyes. Actually he looked pretty fucked up and ghoulish, and as he lurched toward me I kept thinking, stupid bastard doesn't realise what a complete wreck he looks. SORT YOURSELF OUT MATE before approaching me. Jeez, anyone would think fucked up looking was the latest trend in nightime fashion for Gothtown Camden London.

ANYWAY:
" You beautiful, you know that?, I like that tattoo - " (which I was toeing with my other foot, I prefer to keep it covered and have no object for attention) "- you know what I'm saying girl you're special you know? You have nice face, I want you be my girlfriend ... -"

" - You see this?" I'm rolling my eyes "heeeard it all before, thank you - I'm just reaaally BORED, and I dont want a blokey, this lady Doesn't need men! But she's happy to kill time and talk about YOU"

At which point I think I took him aback! I then fired questions at him for the next 40 minutes, asked him what he was doing out etc etc. Only for him to tell me his life story of drug dealing, travelling around europe and america, being kicked out of New York etc. Mmmm actually very interesting. 'Bit pathetic, pitiful, sometimes quite funny, and underneath it all a feeling of great wretchedness that he couldn't do anything else - was used to seeing people intimidated by him, or looking just as fucked up as him maybe just buying stuff.

"SKUNK! SKUNK!" he loped after some bird yelling. Wasn't until AFTER I left I realised that was some sort of sales technique.

"You're working like this 7 days a week? Business is not just shit, Honestly man, you're scaring off any of your potential customers calling them skunks/skanks!!. Get back to work now that you're bored of me telling you how to do business"... (RIIIGHT AND LATER I REALISE SKUNK IS ONE OF THE THINGS HE IS SELLING.. o_0)

I have no idea, other than I'd maybe I'd make a better drug dealer than this guy. Anyway, in the window of him leaving me, my friend turned up freaked that I was accosted by the dealers.
"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine" and waved back at the geezer who was yelling back my name at me..  "...he told me all about his family"

"WHAAAT?!" She's laughing cos she don't believe me. "did he tell you his birthday?" (joking!)

"yeah - he's 31, brother in France, no family here, except that lot he is loitering with" and Now I am yelling back at him with 'whip motions' indicating for the fella to get back to work.

Men who see me as a challenge, then get intimidated, then actually want to take me down a peg or two - to keep their willies bigger than mine.

First - I am not a challenge, I do not want a man, I'm just not interested. FULLSTOP.

I do like men, I just don't like the opposite SEX. Aaand I don't like sex. So don't even think you're gonna tempt me with your ugly willy. I don't take willies. I'm not a lesbo either. I just prefer you to keep your sexuality AWAY from me, and stop treating me like some game to be got.

I am not your game. I am not game for any of your games. save yourself the stupid effort and go look for another woman. This woman, likes to be loved and that is it. The only games I play, are for those who really are willing victims.

It's called 'pretend'. Ever heard of that? Lets pretend you are a bug, and I get to make you squirm, squish you and stomp all over you, make you cry, laugh at you whelping like a poofy puppy, then feel sorry for you, and cuddle you. If you get a boner, I'll kick you in the nuts. Just cos I like to laugh at your stupid willy, and get intimidated if you show me something I don't want to see. HAHA, I'll even smack it hard and make your belend bleed.

So? I know I am sick and twisted. But I was honest about that in the first place. Now, can we just be friends please, cos I'm serious I'd rather just wank myself off than have a man for anything but a toy.

Okies, love ya all!

Lady Onna (BITCH)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-brMt5-Lnw

After hours of dancing and sweating in latex layers all I wanted to do was get it off. I was the most pathetic ninja when I got home. Ungraceful, grotty, felt all clumsy and useless trying to get out of my layers of Latex locked ontop the catsuit pissing sweat everywhere. Actually the padlocks were to fit the swords to my back..

So now if you want to know what I am up to - the official news is here:

videograpy site

be sure to leave me a comment on the site comment board, so I at least know it's all running.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FquVfY5Zrqw

I decided to entertain myseld with the camera in hand and see what I could pick up - I mean on camera! Here are some beautiful people on inferno night at the Electric Ballroom in London Alternative district of Camden.... and a Tramp the cast dragged off the street to party..

Big superstore. Trustworthy prices. Ain't gonna rip you off right? Well, they just aren't geared up for online ordering, and if you dare to trust them - their system will fuuuuuck you up. Personal review of their online shopping experience - IT FUCKING SUCKS AND THEY HIDE BEHIND MORONS, DON'T EVEN GO THERE.

I managed to scrape together funds after the burgalry, to get a fundamentally important tool that is a lifeline to me getting work. Sadly my own credit cards are maxed out, so i had to hand over cash to a housemate to order for me online - after much deliberating and price comparisons. At this critical stage I can barely go over my own budget, so here we go save a few pounds and do it online...

NOW, tesco make you register before buying online, a price to pay for saving a few pounds you think is worth it to be forever spammed from their database with offers just because I badly needed that laptop. But once you're in the system, NOW TRY AND PAY FOR IT. The experience is sluggish, administered through several levels of pathetic form filling, and distracting button entries that defer you from your attempted purchase.

There is no mention on the system of the cards they do not accept - so after many fustrating attemps at being told you're 'ENTERING INCORRECT CARD DATA' you have now entered several duplicate addresses into the system time and time again... one day lost.

ok, so cash over to someone with a card that DOES WORK... mmm bureaucratic anti-fraud system stumps other matey too, so badly it blocks his card! another day lost....

next day finally unblocks card and PHONES the order through, but the thing is the offer I was looking to buy has dissapeared, and out of pure generosity matey offers to stump up extra for the next one up. Which he shouldn't have had to do - but I had no choice pretty much. Bank holidays had seen a sell out of anything in that price range - So much for recession! they're selling like hotcakes below £400!

Now it gets daft.

Yesterday I had a bad day, and if there were any other way to describe what happened I would be lying for the sake of political correctness. Fuck that - this is what happened stereotypically abhorrant AND the truth.

I had an overworked/over played weekend and it had brought on the dregs of a cold. I woke up late and flurried because I was screwing up my chances of interview already! I slung on some nice clothes, but as I left the door seething through my teeth, my tattoo was showing, and I had no time to find the right pair of stockings to cover it up.

I was pissed at myself already for not giving me the time to get there relaxed without the insecurity of my tattoo showing for this interview. My hair takes ages to brush, I did so on the train, most of the 90 minute journey. I phoned my lateness on the way, and blamed late trains, they're normally shit anyway, and I begrudge the long journeys.

As I came out the final station, a black man spied me from around 20 yards on his approach. To my abhorrance he started yammering and gesturing, and as he came communicabley close I switched on realising he was ice breaking me regarding my tattoo.

:(

FUCK, the one thing I care nothing about, and some random guy in 'BABE' talk was pissing on my insecurities for an interview. I was fucking late, had not the care about fucking nice speak to anyone, let alone a casual 'babe talk' session ABOUT MY FUCKING TATTOO. I was thinking 'fucking great, someone can notice me 20 yards away with a tattoo, my interview is FUCKED MAN!

I beligerantly ignored him and hurried on in the direction of the rendez vous.... Then a voice popped up behind me...
"WHAT DID HE WANT TO KNOW? YOUR TATTOO? WHAT FOR?" I thought it was someone almost politely slagging off the incident as some acknowledged weird intrusion of privacy.
"QUESTION QUESTION QUESTION" came the voice, which i really didn't want to acknowlege in my rush. An ASIAN/ARAB MAN popped up alongside me. He must have been following close behind to catch all that the black man had said. And now i was feeling really put out to acknowledge the guy. I sped up, i could do without all this time pissing talk.

But my pretense to ignore and carry on failed. He jumped around me, he skitted around me, continually doing his version of fucking BABE TALK!! FUUUCCKK! this guy is even worse than the black man!

"BABE WASSAP? YOU LOOK NICE WITH A SMILE YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD SMILE, I BET YU LUK NICE WIT A SMILE YA KNOW. WASS WRONG? YU NOT TALKING TO ME?"
skippety hop, "please.. just leave me to my own thoughts..." thats all I said to the intimidating greasy shit bag.

"WAS YOUR PROBLEM BABS? NOT LIKE EVERYONE GONNA ASK YOU TO LICK YOUR PUSSY?"
what the fuck? o_0. try and ignore this man, walk faster.

"YEH COURSE, I NOT GONNA ASK, BUT I'D LIKE TO. I'D EVEN LICK YOUR ASS HOLE. I'D LIKE TO LICK YOUR ASSHOLE. ..."

AT THIS POINT I AM CROSSING ROAD AVOIDING THE PIECE OF SHIT. he's like yelling across the street at me, all vile things in that realm i didn't imagine. My head is shot to peices. I was so confused I lost track of my final rendez vous. I stopped other side of road to work out street names. The bile continued from the other side of the street.

"WHERE YOU GOING BABE? YOU LOOK LOST? I CAN SHOW YOU GOOD TIME! YEH LICK YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE"

I made a dive for the nearest pub, fuck I was late and needed to know asap where i was supposed to be NOW!!! The barmaids pointed me back across the road. I sighed in relief thinking, I was here the whole time, but not seeing it at all. I stepped out the bar, to my disgust that asian man was waiting between myself AND MY JOB OPPORTUNITY.

I crossed the road and listened to the stink he was erupting and as he caught up with me near the building intercom. I exploded. "FUCK OFF OR YOU'LL GET A SLAP" I was so angry by now, I wanted to batter him. Beat the crap out of him with my box handbag. Kick him in the nuts and make sure he lost his fucking slimey voice for good. FUCKIT SOME CUNTS ACTUALLY ENJOY THAT FROM ME!! GRRRR I WAS SO ANGRY YOU CANNOT IMAGINE.

Luckily a post office delivery driver climbed out from his van and shooed the greasy pipsqueek away. He asked if i was alright. But  was more concerned about my lost chance at the interview, and how some people .... really OOO!!

We both entered the massive building at the same time. I went on up to the 1st floor, the postal driver dissepeared with his familiar round.

Trying to gather myself for the interview really pissed me off. My tattoo was showing, did I look like some whore? fuck, my confidence is knocked. Should have heard the alarm this morning. Should have NOT been viralled out in the first place. Fucking birthday parties. I'm shagged, I look it. I fucking sound it! like I been deepthroating all weekend. SUCK MY COCK BASTARDS, NOW WHO SOUNDS LIKE THE MAN! MMM cant explain this can I? they wouldn't believe me. lol doesn't the truth make you laugh. I wanna go home and kill some men. :(

Then.... "apparantly there was some incident outside?... are you the one?"

"..er? yes" bit surprised as theres two blokes come to the waiting room to check out some complaint. I thought, Shit! did I swear that loud infront the building? - uh oh, yes, trashy whore in your midst hahahaaa (oh dear :S)

" well the postal guy has lodged the incident with the building manager... you ok?"

As it happens, I am fine, I need time for the adrenaline rush to go down. He didn't scare me, just made me very angry - and insecure about my presentation today..

Anyway - the interview went fine, I am fully experienced to give me confidence, and I just met some assholes that sadly I didn't have the time to bash. Oh and the law in his country sucks anyway - If I had, apparantly I would have been in the wrong.
Slimey shits like that dont respect the culture of the land. Shouldn't be in this country at all. If anything makes me racist, its the minority of cunts like that - that have no respect in this land. These men were stereotypically the worst John Waters characters you could meet.

In hind sight, the black man wasn't that bad, I just dont have time for 'babe talking' on the fly about shitty subjects like tattoos. Ironic how the next guy to open his gob was even worse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfiZFL7aPmI