Following on the back of the Abusive Relationship blog which received quite a substantial response (if not in comments then definately in my inbox), i'm posting this.  I will be expanding the abusive relationship piece once i get a chance...

 

Are You A Sucker For Psychopaths?

 

Ask any or lesbian and they will undoubtedly regale you with stories of an ex (or current) partner's psychotic tendencies.  It's a kind of twisted gift which can con anyone. ANYONE.  But not only have we all some sort of experience with at least one psychopath, some people seem inexplicably attracted to crack-pots, winding up in relationship after relationship with a member of the less-than-stable club.

 

"I obviously don't consciously look for fruit cakes," comments Jane.  "I just have an uncanny knack of ending up with them.  The most severe was a ten-month relationship which ended recently.  It was so perfect at the beginning, she told me all the things I wanted, or needed, to hear and played up her 'disadvantaged past to get my sympathy.  I've always been a sucker for a sob story which apparently makes me a classic psychopath magnet.  She used my trust to control me, questioning my right to say no, always claiming that I should want to make her happy.  Then the mood swings started, what was right yesterday couldn't have been more wrong the next day.  She stripped me of my self-esteem, reputation and dignity, all while she sucked me emotionally dry, but every one knows how hard it is to leave someone once you've fell in love with them."

 

Being attracted to psychopaths becomes increasingly dangerous if you suffer from co-dependency, though it's not a necessary component in being paired with a looper.  Psychopaths rarely, if ever, introduce themselves as 'Hi, I'm Nigella.  Can I buy you a drink, by the way I'm a bit a of a psycho!'  Knowing the signs is no guarantee that you will be able to avoid falling for a psychopath.  By the time the signs are obvious you will have already fallen.  A psychopath's power is usually such that his/her true colours are usually masked behind a thick veil of mental manipulation and compliments until it is safe to relax and be themselves.

 

OK, so psychopaths can be exciting, the unpredictability, the desire to try new and dangerous things.  They do what they want, when they want to, but as a partner of a psychopath you have to be prepared for the consequences. 

 

 "I thought she was fantastic," said Jane.  "She lived for today, never committing to tomorrow and the stuff we got up to was unreal.  She worked when she felt like it so she started expecting me to do the same.  When I wouldn't she started to get nasty, telling me how I didn't love her and if I did I would want to spend all my time with her.  She would get depressed if we didn't do what she wanted or if I didn't look the way she wanted me to.  On top of that were the lies; she couldn't even tell the truth about what she bought at the corner shop.  It was too late by then, I was hooked.  The first few months had been the best of my life and even after she ran off with one of my friends it took some time to actually realise what she had been doing to me.  She whittled away at everything I had; my confidence, my bank account.  In the end I was left with nothing, no money, no job and hardly any friends.

 

Confronting a psychopath and pulling the plug on her will usually have a high price tag.  When she goes down, she will usually try to take you with her.  If your friends are telling you to watch yourself, listen to them.  They might not get to see the good side of your partner, but all they are worried about is the bad.  If your friends think you are being taken for a ride they're going to tell you.  It's your decision whether or not you listen.  Just bear in mind that friends have nothing to gain by being honest and a psychopath has everything to lose.

Welcome to the Gay Girls Guide Newsletter

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Warm regards

Leanne

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Hi, due to a problem with my main blog, I have had to start a new one...you can update your rss links by going here http://gay-girls-guide.blogspot.com/ or via www.gaygirlsguide.co.uk (where there is also a new forum for gay girls)

Ok, so you woke up this morning and thought to yourself that it might be a jolly good idea to be gay.  Why not chose to live a life where you're ridiculed, hated, denied basic human rights, and can even be put to death for living?

You didn't?

Ok, so that's one thing out of the way, sexuality is not a choice.

"Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained"  [William Blake, 1757-1827, British poet]

How do you know you're gay/gay girl/queer/bisexual/non-heterosexual/choose own label?  Well, how do straight people know they're straight? How do you know you're left or right handed? You just know.  Its something you feel right through to your very core, no matter how much you try and quieten those urges.

 Even though the debate rages on regarding the 'gay gene', as a life-long gay girl, I know that I didn't choose to be attracted to women.  I didn't wake up one day and decide that I would choose to live a life which would see me discriminated against, ridiculed, and jeopordise my personal safety just for the hell of it.  For years throughout my early teens I didn't even know what a gay girl was (or even that two women could be together in such an intimate way - ridiculous by today's standards but I had a childhood, a true childhood). I had boyfriends, even had sex with some (too many) of them, but it never felt right.  I used to lie in bed at night and wonder what it would be like to be my best friends boyfriend.  I didn't want to be a boy, I just didn't know that could be with a woman I liked in that way, only boys could be with women that way.

Gay girls are women who are emotionally and sexually attracted to other women. Some women have always known this attraction existed within them (even if they weren't entirely sure what it was), others don't realise until long after they're married and had their 2.4 children. Neither is more or less a gay girl than the other.  Whatever your situation, the important thing is to be honest with yourself, even if you can't be honest with those closest to you yet.

 It's important to note that you don't have to have had sex with a woman to realise you're a gay girl. Most heterosexuals are aware that they are attracted to member of the opposite sex long before they have sex with one so don't feel rushed or pressured to jump into bed with the first queer woman you meet just to 'make sure'.  It is important to do what feels right and natural to you.

 Whatever you've heard about gay girlism, it is vital to remember that it is 'normal' to you.  It may not be 'normal' to the straight people around you, just as their heterosexuality doesn't seem normal to you but that doesn't make you a freak or disgusting or any of the other derogatory adjectives you've heard used to describe gay girls.

 Remember: heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

It is widely accepted that around 10% of the population are queer, but various studies have shown that the majority of people feel some degree of attraction to members of both sexes.  Sexuality isn't as black and white as society would have you believe. It's interesting to note that around 10% of the population are left-handed, something a person has no control over, just like sexuality.  Can you imagine a world which discriminates against people simply because of the hand they use to write with?  Seems absurd doesn't it?  But that's what people are doing when the discriminate against non-straight people.  This sort of discrimination will not end until society accepts that, just as a heterosexual does not chose to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex, so a homosexual does not chose to be attracted to a member of the same sex.  I'm not going to argue that some people do choose to be gay due to various 'negative' experiences with men, as long as you accept that some people, in a bid to deny their true feelings, choose to be straight. Choosing a sexuality that doesn't fit you may please society, but you will never be happy within yourself if you continue to be someone you're not.

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1) Being gay is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. Also apparently those homosexual animals have picked up some unnatural behavior.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire globe. That's why we have only one religion in the World.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

Submitted by Jackie

The Gay Girls Guide presents:

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The Gay Girls Guide To Being Gay, the definitive guide for girls who do girls..and those who want to, coming in paperback on March 16th 2009...reserve your copy here now

 

or, if you can't wait, the first edition is out in eBook format, check it out here

 

There is a brand new Gay Girls Guide forum which has just started, come along to www.gaygirlsguide.co.uk/forum2 and help get it going

 

Don't forget to get your Gay Girls Purple ID for spotting girls who do girls...and those who want to...get yours here and get a free gay girls guide £5 note.

 

Looking for the ideal xmas pressie? What about turning your favourite photo into an art piece? Check out this gay girl artist and pop art your photos.

 

Check out a new publishing company seeking submissions from gay girls here.

 

And for girls who aren't gay but have writings they would like to see published, please check out here.

 

Gay Girls Inc

Stuff for girls who do girls...and those who want to

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The Gay Girls Guide To Watching

Just feeling her lips softly brush against your skin was enough to make you wet. You would lie at night, lights off, eyes closed, and rest your hand gently between your spread legs. Touching, lightly at first, your hips would start to move with your fingers as your mind drifted deeper into fantasy. There you would see and slowly undress her. God, how she was perfect. You were so wet. Your fingers pressed harder as you could feel the excitement build. The scene inside your head had changed swiftly, fleeting from one fantasy to an another, searching for what you wanted, what you needed.

Next, you were in a room, alone with your boss. You'd always had a thing for her, the older woman, the authority, the sensual curves of her slender body, her flawless complexion, her flowing black hair. You were on your knees in front of her your hands slowly tracing her soft thighs. Soon her skirt was around her waist and your fingers had moved to beneath her panties. With swiftness, her panties were down and she had stepped out of them to spread her legs. She pulled your head closer to her pussy, urging you to taste it, you didn't need any encouragement. You kissed her once, then again, then again, and again more passionately until you were sliding your tongue into her pussy. You could hear your boss, her breathing getting heavier, the moans of pleasure as you found 'that spot'.

And in your room, you had three fingers sliding in and out of yourself, stopping only to rub your rock-hard clit as you let yourself go and feel every stroke of your tongue. You loved how women tasted, you loved to listen as they lost control totally and utterly, and you loved to watch as they fucked your tongue, knowing how much they enjoyed it.

Your pussy was so wet. It hadn't felt like that in such a long time. But soon it changed again, leaping from one thought to another as your desire changed and grew. And there was a faceless stranger in front of you on her hands and knees, her cunt wide open. She looks at you as you reach out to touch her ass with both your hands. It was so firm and soft, you realise you're naked but for a strap-on and she was pleading with you to fuck her. You reach out your fingers and touch her ass again, teasing, bending down to follow your fingers with your tongue. Your tongue touches her open asshole and her lips begin to move as her breathing quickens.

"No, stop, please" she pleads, "just fuck my cunt"
"But I know you like this", you reply, still using your tongue to drive her crazy. You stop using your tongue only to slide you fingers into her ass, stretching it for the strap-on which you have been dying to see move deep inside her ass. No would not mean no, and stop would not mean stop. You both had a safe word, and that's all you had to pay attention to.

You stand back from her for a moment, admiring the way she was, knowing that her pussy was dripping wet and her asshole would open easily for almost anything to fuck it. Lifting a bottle of baby oil, you pour it into your hands and then rub it onto the strap-on, knowing she's waiting, you take your time. You take the tip and push it against her ass, softly at first so she spreads her legs with no resistance, urging you to thrust it in deeper. You place both your hands on her hips and pull her hard against you as you push your hips into her. The noise, the screams she lets out as it's full length is inside her almost makes you cum as you imagine you are really there, hearing those noises, feeling her ass.

As you fuck yourself harder with your fingers, the desire to touch your own ass grows and you move your other hand down so your fingers can press against you asshole. Without realising, you had slipped a finger into your ass while your other hand rubbed furiously against your throbbing clit. You knew you were going to cum. You started to making noises, imaging it was the woman in your head that you were fucking calling out, moaning with every thrust of your hips. As you fucked her faster and faster, so your hands worked on your own cunt and ass faster until you couldn't refrain from cumming. With one final thrust of your hips, and one final scream, both the woman in your head and you came.

I loved watching you do that

The Gay Girls Guide To Female Ejaculation..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

for girls who do girls (and those who want to)

Female ejaculation has long been discussed in terms of an 'event' which happened to a friend of a friend's girlfriend a few years or as a mythological event. 

 

It's been mentioned that around half of all women have a g-spot.  Just because a woman can't find it (or, as is more often the case, the man doing the 'research' can't find it) doesn't mean it isn't there.

 

Through research, both for business and pleasure, I know it exists.  Here's what I know:

 

Female ejaculation is the expelling of liquid from the urethra, accompanied by a more intense, longer lasting orgasm.  It's produced by direct stimulation of the g-spot, glands which produce the natural lubrication when you get wet.  It's 'that spot' inside you that you maybe felt once a long time ago by accident, but it's there.  Fingers are the best way of reaching it being more flexible than any dildo or penis.

 

Once you've found the g-spot (it feels bumpy/ridgy – go in, up and back), constant, rhythmic pressure is the way to go, Listen to what your partner and her body are saying.  Let moans, sighs, screams, or whispers be your guide.

 

Your partner will most likely feel as though she's about to pee just prior to ejaculation.  This is normal.  The cunt becomes narrow and encouraged, the blood rushing in as sexual excitement heightens.  The spasms from the orgasm create enough pressure to shoot the fluid. 

 

What's important is at the moment you (or your partner) feels as though you're about to pee, you shouldn't try and stop as this will stop the ejaculation.  When you feel as though you're going to pee, go for it. Within a few seconds it'll be obvious that it's not pee.  Once you've identified the feeling you'll be able to force it out with.  This is not the end of the orgasm, further stimulation will lead to multiples and possibly more ejaculation.  Yeehah!

 

This type of orgasm is intense, intense, intense and doesn't just happen by 'shoving your fingers in'  You've got to work at it, but the results are worth it.  It takes time to find the g-spot, the right amount of pressure, movement, stimulation, and the ability to gradually increase the pressure and speed in just the right way to make your lover ejaculate.  But don't start out with the sole objective of making your partner ejaculate, sex isn't all about orgasms (though they're without doubt the best icing I've ever experienced!).

 

More on the Gay Girls Guide at www.gaygirlsguide.co.uk or www.leannehurley.com.  Get in touch at info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk

The Gay Girls Guide To A Seven Day Relationship, ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

For girls who do girls…and those who want to

(adapted from The Gay Girls Guide To Being Gay, Leanne Hurley's first book in the Gay Girls Guide Series which is available exclusively in eBook format at www.gaygirlsguide.co.uk)

When most people enter a relationship. they usually hope for a couple of things; that they'll be happy, the sex'll be great, and it will last (both the sex and the relationship).  But when you look at the usual running patterns for most lesbian relationships it becomes quite obvious that ties which held couples together for many-a-year could easily be squashed into seven days, therefore leaving you more time for added 'loves of your life' rather than devoting months and years on end to something which will probably just end anyway.  Why only have one woman fall for you when you can have hundreds?  Here's how:

Day 1 (Saturday)

Saturday seems to be a pretty popular day for relationships to begin, so we'll start our journey here.  You will, off course, have to leave the house.  Heading towards somewhere you know lesbians hang out is also going to increase your chances - honestly, it will.  If they serve alcohol where you choose to go, drink lots and encourage any woman you find even the slightest bit attractive to do the same.  This way both of you will gradually develop into goddesses by the end of the evening and you will never have met anyone with whom you share so much in common.  Hell, it's almost like talking to yourself.  She will be amazing, take her home if you can.

Day 2 (Sunday)

If you have taken her home no doubt you have spent all night exploring every inch of each other's personalities and bodies, searching for flaws and hang-ups you might disapprove of.  With a hangover the only thing you'll be glad to notice is that she hasn't threw up all over the bed and you remembered to make it to the bathroom before peeing.  She is your perfect partner.  Everything seems so right.

Day 3 (Monday)

If Sunday went to plan today is the day you should ask her to move in with you or, at the very least, give her a key to your house/flat and car if you have one.  After all, she is so perfect and you got on so well on Saturday night and Sunday why shouldn't you want to spend every minute of your time together.  This is a good move and if you've chosen well she will already be trailing you to her house to pack her bag and collect Tiddles.  When you return you will spend all night talking about what a great decision this is and how the two of you won't let it be like all those other relationships and make this one work.  You will probably have sex all night vowing that every night will be like this.

Day 4 (Tuesday)

Just coming up to the midway point in your new relationship and things might start to slow down a bit, but don't worry.  You can convince yourself that it's just the upheaval and change of the pas few days which has left you both exhausted.  Tomorrow everything will be fine again.  You might have sex tonight, but don't count on it.

Day 5 (Wednesday)

By around ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />midday you'll start to realise that you have not had sex what feels like some time.  Both of you will probably feel that this is the other persons fault and you will want to have a huge screaming row followed by make up sex.

Day 6 (Thursday)

You will start to remember al the things she screamed at you yesterday and all the things you wanted to say but thought that they would be too cruel.  You wished you had've spoken your mind and you can feel the resentment building inside of you ready to explode.  Why did she have to change?  Bitch to friends about 'her indoors'.

Day 7 (Friday)

Today will be the final day of your relationship.  You just can't stand being around her, you have nothing in common and you don't even find her all that attractive anyway.  She's such a bitch now, nothing like she used to be when you first met her.  She used to be soft and caring, attentive and sweet.  Now she just ignores you or picks on every little thing that you do.  She never listens to you and you may as well be talking to yourself.  You doubt you'll ever speak to her again.

(Additional Day 8 Saturday)

Today you might want to head out to somewhere lesbians are likely to hang out in a bid to get over your broken heart.  It is likely that your very recent ex will be there too but don't panic.  You will become best friends just before you leave with your new woman and in about five days you'll be bitching to her about the way your latest love has changed from the perfect little creature you picked up on Saturday into a lesbian Lecter.

And that's how to fit a whole lesbian relationship into one single week.  Simple.

 

Get in touch at info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk or visit www.leannehurley.com or www.gaygirlsguide.co.uk

Hosted By: The Gay Girls Guide
When: Monday Dec 01, 2008
at 7:00 PM
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Hosted By: The Gay Girls Guide
When: 01 Dec 2008, 19:00
Where online
online
online, Northern Ireland|69 bt73aw
United Kingdom
Description:
The Gay Girls Guide