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September 18, 2009 - Friday
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Current mood:  jealous
Category: Blogging
Do you ever feel like your just not good enough. That with all your heart you could love someone you give them everything you can 2 find out its just not you they want. Thats the way i feel right now! How come i cant be the one. How come i cant be the best the one they never want 2 lose. How come i'm good enough for now or till their done but i'm not good enough for always and forever or 2 marry! I cant help but feel what i am doin wrong. I give space and still get hurt i'm there and still get hurt. Someone tell me what the secret is. I'm tired of gettin hurt! I just want happiness! Someone 2 love me as much as i can love them. Someone 2 take me and jayden on not just jayden! I just dont feel i am meant 2 have someone! Grr. I have this i really thought he was the one and part of me still does i'm just not sure what 2 do!
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June 19, 2009 - Friday
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So We heard from My brother today it was kinda the straw that broke the camels back. Today I realized that some people need to know how I FEEL:
To Mickey: I miss u so much right now!! U are more than my bro u r the person I depend on more than anyone (ur my best friend) u are the strong 1 and I want u to stay that way. I am so proud of u I want u to know that. Jayden is very lucky to have u as his uncle!!! I hope he grows up and is at least half the man u are today. It seems like yesterday we were in grandma's old kitchen about 6 and 2 fighting like we always do. I love u bro and u will be in my prayers!!
Wow Momma can u believe that Mickey has gotten so big. Dnt think We dnt know all that u have done for us. I want my son to look back and Say Damn my mom was the best just like u. U didnt have a lot in life bc of us but u never let that stop you. I am so proud to say u are my momma. I love u momma Clem!!! I knw I havent made ur life easy deff in the past year but thanks for stick with me and never turning ur back on me!!!
OMG!!! Girl my life would be a bore with out u in it. LOL U are my sister from another mother lol. I love u to death and I want to thank u so much for being there when I needed a friend the most. U have never let me down and I am so gald that we are still friends are this long. I'd die for u girl. I am so glad u are Jayden's Auntie Krissy. He so needs u in his life and I cant wait till u have one of ur own lol. I love you BESTIE FOR ALWAYS!!!
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April 3, 2009 - Friday
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Current mood:  anxious
Dear Jayden,
Hay baby boy. I just want you to know how much you are loved and how much your mother will do any ting and everything she can to make sure you have everything you need. You may not always have what you want but you will always have your mother there for you. Now I want you to know that your dad loves you in his own way and because he isnt there doesnt mean he doesnt want you. He just couldnt stand to be with your mother. I caused him a lot of problem and depended on him to much and for that I am so sorry you cant have that family that I dream of you having.
I pray for nothing else that he will always help take care of you and love you. I pray that he doesnt take it out on you for us not working out. Some day I know will ask mom did dad love you and I will tell AT ONE TIME SON> And when you ask if I loved him I will tell you I did and always will because I know the real Josh I know that he can do right. And I will always have faith in him. I just hope someday there we will get to a family you need but if not baby we will make it I promise you this. Its a PROMISE I WILL DIE MAKING to make sure you have what you need and I never want you to feel gulty that DAD and I didnt working because if nothing else we wanted you very badly. Your our blessing and the one thing that will make sure is safe from all we can.
Love Momma
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February 24, 2009 - Tuesday
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Leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses. And if you don't have any memories with me-well you better just start some.
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January 31, 2009 - Saturday
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Oh my God!!!! We made it. I cant believe it. I have a 6lbs and 6oz little boy. The first time I saw him I let out this cry that it seemed that I had been holding the whole 9 months. I looked at him and said WE DID IT JOSHUA JAYDEN WE BOTH MADE IT!!!! My son my baby. Its so hard for me to wrap my head around it I guess I jsut thought I wasnt gonna make it this far. I now know that life is complete with a baby of your own. I love the responseabilty having to take care of this mircale. When I wake up during the night and feed him I think to myself that this is me this is Josh this child is us in one. He will grow up and he will be happy. He will make mistakes just like his father and just like his mother. He will come to be for advice he will look up to me and to Josh. I have a little boy. He is my pride and joy. Know that for the next 18 years I have meomeys I have fights I have the mommy I need you. It just makes my heart swell. I have a baby boy, Joshua Jayden Davis. He is the smile on my face and glow of my skin. I love you Jayden and know this if nothing else I will always be there for you!!!!!!
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