Fed up of wondering if I'm as good, as fun or as beautiful, if you preffered their company to mine. I wonder if they made you happier than I can, or if you miss me as much as you missed them.
I wish I didnt know of any of them... I wish I couldnt compare and they didnt exist in our world. I dont think you understand how much you could hurt me, and it wouldnt take much. We both have different ideas on everything, maybe thats why it works, but i dont want that to be our down fall. as much as i should and do trust you, in the back of my mind your relaxed opinion gives me doubts... it wouldnt take much for a slip up and for you to destroy me.
i let you in and sometimes i wonder why. dont be stupid.. i know why. i wish i could make you understand how much of my guard i did let down for you. your jokes about time hurts.. it was much longer than you think. you mean so much to me and i wonder if this you take for granted. i want nothing more than for me to have found my only one, but lets look at the last time i thought that. i have trusted you with my deepest secrets, let you understand why i am the way i am and why i do what i do. i hope you do understand.
i dont want your loving sayings, notes and our special moments to be repeats. flashbacks of another time, another place... a different girl. dont recycle that shit on me... i want new exciting.. special. ive never felt special before. our cuddles mean so much but i was there when you said you needed her cuddles. you say that you care but its little things that say other wise. sometime i wonder if you even realise half your actions. it seems im being harsh i know... but think about it. I have feelings too.
 
 
this was meant to help but it hasnt.

..TR> ..TABLE>

My name: Summarize me in three words: Where did we meet: Take a stab at my middle name: How long have you known me: When is the last time that we saw each other: Do I drink: Do I smoke: Am I happy: Am I a good person: What was your first impression of me upon meeting me/seeing me: What's one of my favorite things to do: Am I funny: How do you make me smile: What's my favorite type of music: Have you ever seen me cry: Can I sing?: What is the best feature about me: Am I shy or outgoing: Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: Do I have any special talents: If we both had 24hrs to live how would we spend them?: I'm hot? Am I not? Go ahead, you can say ... : Have you ever hugged me: Kissed me?: would you kiss me if not?: What is my favorite food: would you trust me to share a bed with you?: Have you ever had a crush on me: Am I dating anyone: If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be: What's your favorite memory of me: Who do I like right now: What is my worst habit: If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring? Are we friends: Do I believe in God? Am I family oriented? Who is my best friend? Will you repost this so I can do it?

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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF :

 I committed suicide:
 I said I liked you:
 I kissed you:
 I lived next door to you:
 I stole something:
 I was hospitalized:
 I ran away from home:
 I got into a fight and you weren't there:


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
 Personality:
 Eyes:
 Face:
 Hair:
 Clothes:
 Mannerisms:


[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are you going to re-post this and see what I say about you?

the last little while has been a serious reality check for me. Im slowly learning who i need, and who i dont. things have finally come out of the rough patch, and all i want to do is be there for those i love.

ive just made a massive step forward in getting back in contact with one of the closest friends i had when i was a kid. at the time his parents were like a second family to me. and unfortunatly that all fucked up... and i dont know why. at the end of the day this person has just been through.. and is going through something no one deserves. seeing you made me realise how much i fucking miss you.. i want that friendship back so much.

im running out of people im willing to fight for. but the people i am willing to, need to have no doubt at all, that i will fight to the fucking death for them. because its you guys that got me out of my shit.. and now its my turn to be there for you.

i hope everything works out, and my friends feel the same.. if not i guess thats life. there is always a reason for the shittest of things. even though my belief in fate is slowly fading.

last blog was rather negative, so i deleted it and am now going to write a more positive one :)

i feel very happy right now! just spent like... 2 hours with danielle in tesco car park, being prats. there is now, infact, some chips wrapped up in paper with the message " dear liam, im sorry i couldnt take care of you better. i will always love you " written on it. :) i wanna see the face of the person who finds it lmao... or maybe they wont even acknowledge it? shit!

sooo yeahh. wooo. bring on oliver too. i cant wait to get on that stage.. and this weekend is gunna be awesome. got mandys birthday (Happy Birthday!) dinner thang sat, then after going dissident for craigs 18th (Happy Birthday!) then on monday some crazy social - that danielle has promised to buy all my alcohol! :O

yeah man. :)

xxxx