Jingle bells! Jingle Bells. Kill them all today!
I haven't pissed myself this much in months! Oh, what a weekend I had. That puny Gwen Garcia now knows what my stained diapers taste like. She was the recipient of my yellow snowballs. Seeing her tied to a wooden post with Christmas lights was so brilliant, I have to give myself a pat on the back. She tried to tell me my stories aren't real, but I will silence her, once and for all in the coming weeks. It's good to let them suffer awhile, boys and girls.
After the tormenting, I took a little break and did some sliding along the hillside with my orange disc. That brought back no memories, seeing that I didn't get to do anything like that when I was a child. But, don't cry for me Argentina. My parents paid for their cruelty. You'll hear more about that further down the road...
Next up, Scott Garcia. That crazy, Mexi--wait. I'm not quite sure what nationality he was, but I'm guessing by the shirt he wore, "Hispanic at the disco", that he was Hispanic. Anyway, I caught him in the middle of the night, watering mother natures bushes. heh heh. I didn't appreciate the fact that he was able to go pee pee, while I struggle daily with wetting myself. So, he got the old hammer teeth in the eye trick, followed by some powerful yanking, resulting in a messy eye gouge. He wasn't much of a struggle. But, then again, they never are.
I thought it was funny when I threw Scott in the tent, while Gwen waited for him. You should have heard her scream. It was music to my ears. The next time she and I are together, it's gonna get gory.
Until then, keep up with the maintenance on your vehicles, or not. I'd rather you didn't. It just gives me something to do when you neglect your cars.
Have a wonderful evening.
RSK