"You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called from its remotest parts and said to you, 'You are My servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'"
- Isaiah 41:9-10

My legs are weary from running.
My body is broken from fighting.
How can I go the extra mile when I cannot even take the next step?

My throat is cracked from screaming.
My soul is empty from weeping.
If the mouth speaks of that which flows from the heart will me lips again sing out Your praise?

But Your promises, God, they ring through my ears,
And your faithfulness, Spirit, drowns out my fears.
My body, which was broken, is healed by Your blood.
My soul, which was empty, is filled with Your Love.

You are my strenth,
Your are my song,
And You have become my salvation.

---Inspired by Psalm 118:14/Exodus 15:2 and my life/Life.

We are going through the book of Mark in church right now.  Last week we talked about Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4.  While Reid was speaking the Lord gave me the following devotional kind of thing:

"Storm Advisory"
Mark 4:35-41
    
    On October 24th, 2005, I was in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida as Hurricane Wilma made landfall as a category 3 storm.  As early as a week prior to the storm's arrival the government and newscasters warned the public that the storm was approaching, and urged us to prepare ourselves.  Satellite images were broadcast on the news all week allowing no room to deny that the storm was heading directly for us.  We knew we needed to do everything in our power to prepare ourselves for the coming storm.  On Monday morning the hurricane hit.  (If indeed "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"  I wonder what provoked Wilma to such a turbulent rage.)  The fiercest part of the storm, the eye wall, passed directly over us, thus when we emerged from the house we found our street almost unrecognizable.  Water, trees, roof tiles, cars, power lines, and other debris filled the streets.  The roof of the house directly behind us had caved in, flooding the entire thing, the house across the street had a tree fall through it's roof and also flooded out; the only house in eye-sight that remained unscathed was ours.  Over the next couple of weeks people rushed to the stores to stock up on supplies, but the shelves were empty.  They begged the government to rush food, water, and other necessities to their homes, but the number of people in need far exceeded that which the government could provide.  I looked on in astonishment as the people began to lash out at the government for being ill-equipped to provide immediate relief.  They knew the storm was coming, were told to prepare for it, failed to do so, and blamed the government for something that was their fault alone.
    As I read the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4:35-41, God reminded me of my adventure in Hurricane Wilma.  The same day He showed that "even the wind and the sea obey Him," Jesus told the parable of the sower and the seed, and described the forms of opposition, the "storms," that come against those who hear and receive His word (4:15-19).  In the same way that the weather forecasters did not claim that Wilma might come, Jesus did not claim that His disciples might face storms, but guaranteed that they would.  He issued a "Storm Advisory" urging them to prepare themselves for those days.  Therefore, when, just hours later, they awoke Him in a panic, Jesus responded surprised and disheartened that they were shocked by the storm they were in the midst of.  Also, when Jesus rebuked the wind and the sea the disciples stood astonished at His might, although they had already seen Him heal a leper, make the lame walk, cast out demons, etc…and heard Him speak on the power of faith.  Yet they stood amazed?  Even though Jesus knew the storm was approaching He did not stop it from coming, but allowed it to reach them because He knew they needed another lesson in faith. 

-  Am I prepared for the storms that I know I will face in the course of my life in Christ?
-  Like the people in Florida blamed the government for not being equipped, do I blame God for not preparing me for the storms that come into my life, when in fact it is my fault for not preparing for the storms that He has guaranteed I will face?
-  How can I prepare for these storms?
-  When I know that "all things are possible with God," and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," why am I astonished when God calms storms and perform miracles in my life?
-  What is Jesus trying to teach me in the midst of my storms?
 

He will allure her
He will pursue her
And call her out
To wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding
Beat up and hurting
Deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Here in the valley
Walk close beside me
Don't look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead
You have called Me Master
And though you're in the dark here
Call Me Friend
And call Me Lover and marry Me for good

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

How the story ends is
Love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it
So the valley's up ahead
Or the ones we live
We'll sing together
We'll sing together

We will sing
We will sing
Oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope
                -Shane Barnard & Robbie Seay

I am in an American Lit class, and we are currently going through the romantic period, which means we are reading Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson (beautiful writers).  The following is a short paper, entitled "Greatness", that I wrote on my personal reflections of a passage from Emerson.  In case the title was not enoguh of a hint, it is about what true greatness is.

    "What I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think.  This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness.  It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it.  It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
    C.S. Lewis stated that "I believe in [Jesus] as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."  When I view a Picasso, listen to Beethoven, and read Emerson, I do so through the crimson colored glasses of Jesus' unparalleled love for me, and my love for Him (which is negligible in comparison to the former).  I do not negate the perspective of the artist himself, or that of those who are not myself, but I take it in the context of truth, as defined in the Bible (but that definition is another can of worms for another fishing trip).
    "What I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think."  Therefore, "what must I do?"  In the Biblical book of Mark (12:28-31), Jesus says that "The foremost [commandment] is…you shall love the Lord your God with all you heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.  The second...you shall love your neighbor as yourself." As multidimensional as Jesus' teachings may be (the surface of which cannot be scratched in the few sentences I have here formed), at the heart of every word He speaks lie these two all encompassing commandments.  These are how I define "what I must do."  Also, in John 21:22, when Jesus tells Peter (one of His disciples) of the manner in which he will die, Peter asks "Lord, and what about this man?" referring to John (another disciple). Jesus responds "If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me."  My only responsibility is to follow Christ wherever He may lead, and not to worry about what man says of me, or what he does.
    "This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness."  Simply put, doing "What I must do," and having no concern for what people think, is easier said than done, both in theory and reality.  However, the execution of such a rule, implies Emerson, defines a man as great, while failure to do so characterizes him as common.  As I read these words, God reminds me that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13)."  It is not of my own ability that I can love Him as He deserves, and others as myself, but God enables me to do so.  This does not mean following Him and His commands suddenly becomes effortless, but possible.  In Matthew (20:26-28), Jesus defines "greatness" in terms of servitude; since He exists as the ultimate benchmark for selfless servitude, and loving him as "I must do" means becoming like Him (in character), I "must" be a servant, which defines me as "great;"  in theory.  In reality; I have a long way to go.  I am seeking to do "what I must," and by Christ's strength, love Him and others; however, I know I do not do so, not remotely, to the degree which I ought; as such, I am common.
    "It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it."  As Emerson continues to elaborate on the idea of doing what we must to achieve "greatness," he describes the difficulty in this, since people are constantly telling us that we are wrong, and they are right.  Since my duty is to love Jesus with everything I am, and my neighbor as myself, people will make it harder to do so by telling me I am wasting my time, am a "close-minded" conformist, and that I am missing out on what they have to offer.  I submit that to live a life dedicated to following Jesus in our post-modern, relativistic world is to rebel against the social norm of this day and age, as a salmon rebels against the flow of the stream to reach its destination.  This is neither an easy task, nor an impossible one, but the opposition of the stream flowing against him makes it all the more difficult to achieve.
    "It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude."  Here, Emerson is saying that, using the salmon analogy, it would be easier for the salmon to concede to the flow of water and forget its desired destination, or to find its own stream flowing the direction it wishes to journey, disregarding the existence of all other salmon.  To do either of these is to be common, for the common man is prone to give in or give up when life gets too tough.  Therefore, Emerson encourages us to do what we must/be who we are, without alienating ourselves from the world.  These ideas immediately bring to mind the fact that I am no to be "conformed to this world, but [to] be transformed… (Romans 12:2)."  A common way of stating this is to say that I am to be "in the world, but not of it."  Since I live in the world, I am not to pretend that I am greater than anyone else, or deserve anything more than they, but I am to continue to seek to do what I must (love God and my neighbor), in the hopes of sharing Jesus' love and truth with the world around me on the journey to "greatness."
    How can I apply the ideas of servitude, selflessness, and dependence to an essay about "Self-Reliance?"  Emerson himself said that "the page of whatever book we read becomes luminous with manifold allusion."  I have done nothing more than he has asked of me; read his words and applied them to my life, which I live based in the fact that "I believe in [Jesus] as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."

This is just a little something I had to write for my Myth and Legend class in response to the relativistic views presented by Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers in their interviews regarding The Power of Myth:

True sacrifice is not taking less, but becoming less, and giving more.  I think many would say that nothing produces greater bliss than freedom, to which I agree.  But I submit that true freedom is the willingness to sacrifice oneself, not for oneself, but for someone else.  It is easy to make sacrifices for yourself because you are the reaper of the fruit of that sacrifice, but to give of yourself with no prospect of self satisfaction is true sacrifice.  How do I know this?  Jesus Christ is the personification of sacrifice.  He made the ultimate sacrifice when He came to Earth in human form (becoming less) and laid down His life (giving more) as the ultimate sacrifice for the forgiveness of the sins of the world.  The fruit of Jesus' sacrifice is forgiveness from sin and freedom from death, and since Jesus' lived a perfect, sinless life He is not the reaper of His sacrificial fruit, but those of us who choose to partake of it.  If sacrifice is freedom, and Jesus is the personification of sacrifice, then Jesus is the personification of freedom; and if freedom produces bliss then Jesus produces bliss.  So, when I think of bliss, I think of freedom; and when I think of freedom, I think of sacrifice; and when I think of sacrifice I do not think in terms of objects, but in terms of people, in terms of a person, in terms of Jesus.

When people who are seemingly "on fire" for the Lord do a one eighty. How can you turn your back on the One who created you and gave up everything for you, not just the fact that he died, but in a more gruesome way than I can comprehend (and I have a rediculously vivid imagination) or even attempt to describe? I am not saying that I have followed God faihfully every day since the day I gave my life to Him, and I am not saying that I will never stumble or know for sure that I will always seek to be like Him (I am human), but I truly cannot fathom my life without Him, or what could possibly make me completely turn away. Not to get Biblically cliche, but look at Job: his entire family died, he lost his fortune (and he was a wealthy man), he suffered through more physical pain because of disease than most people on this earth will ever have to deal with. Yes, he questioned God, yes, he pitied himself, and because he was human I know he comprehended just giving up...but he did not. He "duked it out" with God, but he knew that God was soverign and that God was allowing all of this to happen for a purpose (that Job would grow to be more like Him, and that He would be glorified). God was there with him every step of the way, even though he probably did not "feel" as though God was there, Job knew the truth and finally got over himself and realized this was God's life, not Job's. So what did God do when Job surrendered his broken life? God smote him and laughed as he decended into the depths of hell! No! God loved him and blessed him, He redeemed his shattered life! Why do we think God is this cosmic killjoy throwing lightening bolts down on people for sheer amusement? We need to realize that Satan and his minions are out to destroy our lives, Jesus said so Himself in John 10:10: "The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and killl and destroy..." And Satan wants us to rest in that, because if we focus on that we becme hopeless and he has won in our lives...he does not want us to see the second part of that verse where Jesus encourages us by saying that "...I (Jesus) came that they (you, me) may have life and have it abundantly." Now, Jesus does not pretend that our lives will be easy, in fact, he guarantees that we will face tribulations (we as Christians are by definition called to be Christ like, if He was persecuted and suffered trials and tribulations why should we for a moment believe we will not suffer as well? John 15:20). However, we have hope! Further in the book of John (16:33) Jesus says that "In this world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." Again, Satan would have us dwell on the first half of this scripture and despair (which we, I know I, far too often do), but God gently reminds me that He has already overcome the world. Shouldn't it enliven us to know that we are fighting in the army that is going to win the war? Shouldn't that make us all the more willing to pursue more battles knowing that Jesus will never leave us and that we "can do all things through Christ who gives us (is our) strength (Phil. 4:13)", instead of running and hiding like the defeated prisoners Satan has convinced us that we are? "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them (Satan and his minions); because greater is He (Jesus) who is in you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4)." Do not get discouraged becuase life is not exactly how you planned it, because you do not have that person yet, that degree, career, house, experience, feeling...Jesus came that we may have life in abundance, not mediocrity. Again, Job had it all, and when it was all taken away he came to the point of realising that God is God, he was not, and that the only life worth living is in and for God; and God honored and blessed him, redeeming Job's wealth, family, etc... to a greater abundance than he had before. So why do people turn their back on a loving, caring, compassionate God? I do not know, but it makes me sad, and as sad as it makes me, it breaks God's heart, He grieves for us, He waits for us, He rejoices for us and runs to meet us as we crawl into His open arms.  How can we break the heart of the One who created us and gave up everything for us?

"Lord this heavy burden is weighing down my heart
Coming once again to You in tears.
I am a weary soldier, I feel Im losing heart
Hanging by I thread I can't hold on.

Sifted by the enemy desiring to consume me,
My flesh I must commit to You to die.
Lord, take all that's left of me, I've given You my life,
Looking to You Lord I hear Your voice...

Days run into years, my dreams are fading out
I can't see much beyond, "Forgive my doubt."
Stand upon the Word of Truth, this one thing I must do
Fix my eyes on Jesus, so I hear...

You've said don't lose heart, My child
Don't lose heart, I hear your prayer
Don't lose heart, Don't lose heart.

Victory is there for me, I'm clinging to Your truth.
Satan, I won't listen to your lies.
God says, "All things work for good to those who love Him."
"Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and Life."

Don't lose heart, My child
Don't lose heart, I hear your prayer
Don't lose heart, Don't lose heart."
                               -Tammy Eccles (my mommy) via the Holy Spirit

WAGING WAR
by Shane Barnard

It haunts me so
This gloomy weight
That comes and goes
Without a trace
A thousand times my flesh embrace
A thousand more but if for grace

To see the Lord, the promise land
Where in sins pearly gates look bland
And what was once a pearl now sand
That blows away in light of Him

When battle lines become unclear
And the waging war is all I hear
Sustain me with Your voice
And the choice to walk in truth
And by the Spirit

That I might see this day
This waging war might go away
And be no more
That I might see His face
And hear Him say
Son, welcome home
The war is over

All I can see are frogs and fireflies...